Gone but not Forgotten By Bryant MacLagan Part Ten “Justin and I need some time alone. I think I’ll take him back to our place in Canada when this is over.” Brian drained his cup of coffee and looked at Michael. “It’s been damn hard Mikey, this past few weeks.” “But you stayed with him, why?” Michael wasn’t sure he understood completely. “I love him.” Brian answered simply. “No amount of fucking with my brain could ever change that. And Mikey, I’m remembering more and more of the lost year. I think if it hadn’t been for Justin I would have gone insane. There’s something just so damn amazing about him.” Brian shook his head. “I can’t explain it.” “You don’t have to. I can see it in your eyes.” Michael laughed “I don’t suppose Ben and I could go up there with you?” “I don’t think so Mikey. I think we’ll keep our Canadian place just for the two of us and Gus. It’s kind of become our Shangri-La. Having it to look forward to is keeping us sane through this fucking court case.” “Too bad, Ben and I could use the ‘away’ time.” Michael poked at the lemon bar on the plate in front of him. “Ben’s count is up again.” He said quietly. “I worry about him.” “I know it’s a hard thing Mikey living with a death sentence over the man you loves head. If there is anything Justin and I can do, let us know.” “It’s okay, we’ll manage. We always do and besides, Ben wouldn’t dream of leaving Pittsburgh and his classes. And then there’s Hunter to consider. He’s doing great at Carnegie Mellon.” “I’m glad to hear it.” Brian suddenly smiled making his whole face light up in a way Michael could never remember seeing. “Hey Sunshine.” He called to Justin who had walked in the door. “Stud, what’s with you and lemon bars?” Justin teased as he sat down beside his husband. “You just ate dinner.” “I was getting you dessert.” Brian smiled. He took a bite of lemon bar and then offered one to Justin. “I’m drowning my memory of today in the bite of a lemon.” “Idiot.” Justin laughed. “I have a better way of putting today out of our minds.” “Really? Hmmmm, does it involve kissing on the lips, because I don’t kiss just anybody on the lips.” To prove his point Brian swooped down and claimed Justin’s lips for his own. “Yum, lemon bars and coffee.” Justin purred. He stood up. “I’m taking my husband home now Michael, I hope you don’t mind.” Michael smiled up at Brian and Justin. Brian now had his arm around Justin’s waist and was beginning to lead him away. “No that’s fine. Good luck tomorrow.” He called to their retreating backs as the door to the diner closed. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin’s mind was filled with Brian and the night before. It was the only way he could stop from flying apart. He sighed as he listened to Daniel’s next question. This was going to hurt. “What happened a month ago?” Daniels asked Justin when they came back from break. He had wanted to get everything out in the open so that the Defense couldn’t bring anything up that could surprise them, or make it look like they were hiding anything. The case was difficult enough without having to deal with the jury thinking that they were scared. Justin thought about the man waiting outside the courtroom and tried to remember the feel of Brian’s arms around him. He had to remember that HIS Brian was back, even if he didn’t have his memories though they were quickly returning. “Brian went to work to take care of some things there, and he didn’t return home for a couple of days.” “Brian had been known in the past to take breaks from things, to walk away. How could you be sure that he didn’t do that in this case?” Justin tried not to get angry at the question, tried not to scream. He hated when everyone thought the worst of Brian, but he had to remember that this was all necessary. It was needed to establish the groundwork for Brian’s testimony. “Things were good between us. We had been talking about the renovations to the loft. In fact that day some of the new furniture had arrived, we were both excited about it.” “When Brian returned, what happened?” “He didn’t remember me, asked what I was doing in his home. The last thing he remembered was his birthday of last year. Before he was kidnapped.” Before he had met me, was left unsaid. Justin knew he had to basically shut down his emotions during parts of his testimony, knowing that they would be too much. He didn’t like it, but it was the only way he could get through the memories, and the feelings attached to the memories. “He couldn’t remember the times we spent together with his son, Gus, or our marriage. Nothing.” “Did you tell him anything of what happened?” “No. I took some psychology classes in school, and I remembered them saying that if someone had amnesia that you should let them remember in their own way, their own time. If you told them things it could get mixed up with the memories that they do get and one wouldn’t be able to tell whose memory was whose.” “If you didn’t talk about what happened what did you do?” Justin couldn’t help the small smile that escaped his lips as he remembered the shocked look on Brian’s face when he declared he not only was staying but that they were sleeping in the same bed. And then there was the night back at the warehouse when Brian returned to him. Shaking his head slightly, Justin turned his attention back to Daniels. “I basically left him alone; let him discover the information on his own. I would let him look at the legal documents that we had signed together, marriage certificate, the mortgage deeds, but I left anything dealing with what happened during that year alone. I didn’t want to rehash it at all, I guess there was a large part of me that didn’t want to remember, that envied Brian in a way.” “How so?” “He couldn’t remember the hell we went through. The fear of never being alone and of always being watched like some kind of animals in a zoo. The times when we were out in public when we were released - when you couldn’t even bear to have anyone look at you, and you could forget that countless people watched your actions day and night as you were naked. Yes I can say that there is a part of me that wished I could forget, but I know I wouldn’t give any of it up if it meant that I didn’t have Brian.” Daniels gave Justin a wink. He had wanted to make sure that everyone knew that the effects of what had happened to the two men during their time in that hell wasn’t over. And that there were lasting problems that they would have to face. “Did you try and seek professional help?” “Brian and I had talked about it before he went missing again. I kept telling him he needed to at least see a doctor when he got back to make sure he was okay. I guess we didn’t have a lot of time. Everything started to move so fast once we got out, and it was hard to find time to even get accustomed to being outside again.” Justin wanted to say that he wasn’t sure when if ever they would be able to get the help they needed. He wanted to hurt Bellwether a million times over for what he had taken away from them, both during that year, after, and most recently with Brian’s memory loss. “Are you aware of Brian getting any of his memory back? Meaning, have you talked about it at all?” “Yes, he’s gotten some of it back.” Justin shot a look of triumph at Bellwether and Saperstein. “It’s been difficult because I won’t fill in the blanks for him, but he says he’s remembering things.” What exactly Brian remembered Justin still did not know. Both men knew that any talk that they would have could jeopardize anything dealing with the case, so they decided to wait at least until they were both done with their testimony. Then they planned on taking a week off, just leave everything and everyone behind to try and reclaim what they had almost lost. “Have you ever used drugs before?” “Yes, on occasion. But not for a long time, and even then I had to be careful because I wasn’t sure what I might have a reaction to or not.” “Have you ever had anonymous sex with someone?” “Yes, though not for a few months before April of last year.” “Why?” “Why what? I don’t understand.” Justin shook his head. Did Daniels want him to answer why he did the drugs and the sex, or did he want to know why he quit? Justin was beginning to hate this whole mess more and more every second. “First off why did you use the drugs and the anonymous sex?” “I don’t know. At the time, I guess it just seemed like the thing to do… Everyone I hung out with, or that I would meet was into things. I guess peer pressure had a lot to do with it, but I guess it was also because I knew it would piss my parents off.” “Was that important to you? To make your parents angry with you?” Justin could remember trying everything he could to get something out of his parents. “While I was growing up, I rarely ever saw my parents. I only saw them when we had some function to attend, or whatever. I was the ‘token son’ so to speak. I guess I wanted to feel something, get some sort of reaction out of them.” “Why did you stop the drugs and sex with various other men?” Looking up and staring at the Defense table, Justin kept his eyes on Bellwether. “After my parents … were killed.” Justin felt as if a huge lump had just settled in his throat. This was the one thing that he wanted to get back at Bellwether now for a while, but knew he couldn’t. No one would ever know what part the man played in the ‘accident’ that had ended Justin’s family’s life. Justin at least felt that he could get some satisfaction out of saying they were killed instead of just saying they died. He wanted to see for himself Bellwether’s reaction. “I guess I just didn’t see the point anymore. I didn’t have anyone to try and get the attention of. I had to now act the part of a quote ‘Taylor’, so I turned my focus on my schooling. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.” “We will break here for lunch.” The judge stated. As the jury and the courtroom started to clear out, Justin continued to sit there and gather the strength to move his feet. He had to be strong before he saw Brian; he only hoped that he could make it through the rest of the trial. When Justin didn’t come out of the courtroom, Brian began to panic though from the look on his face the average person would never know how he was feeling. He pulled open the heavy door and looked around. Justin was sitting in the witness box, his head down. Brian could see his shoulder’s shaking. In a few quick strides Brian was able to reach his husband. He walked inside the box and gathered Justin close. “Brian, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be some weak faggot.” Justin sniffed though he clung tightly to Brian’s chest. “You are the strongest man I know Sunshine.” Brian kissed away his tears. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” His voice was gruff, but his manner was gentle as he led Justin down and out the door. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was the day of reckoning, the day when Justin would have to face all the ‘horrible’ things he had done in his life, or at least the things that the Defense would say was horrible. It was the day he had been dreading more than anything, other than Brian getting on the stand. He was in this third day of questioning, and all Justin wanted was once again, for all of this to be over and done with. “Mr. Taylor,” the attorney stated, causing Justin to bite the inside of his lip. “You have stated that after your parents’ death you didn’t use drugs?” “Not to a large extent no. I did have some weed once in a great while, but never a lot and never often.” Turning to look at the Judge, Justin decided he wanted to bite the bullet and have this damn attorney give him some respect he deserved. “You’re honor, could you please tell the attorney that my last name is Kinney, or Taylor-Kinney. I have the legal documents to prove that, and I’d like to be called by my real name.” The Judge tried to hide the smirk, and saw that Daniels was trying to do the same. “Counsel is instructed to call the witness by his rightful name.” Justin tried not to laugh as he saw the disgusted look on the other man’s face. “Yes, your honor.” Turning toward the table, the attorney grabbed his note pad and stood at the podium in front of Justin. “You never once par-took in any ‘extra curricular activates with another man during the three years after your parents death? Are we supposed to believe that?” “I didn’t say I didn’t have sex with someone, I just didn’t see the need for it anymore and maybe only went out once a month or so.” “So you didn’t frequent the backrooms of the establishments catered to the gay male population?” Justin rolled his eyes, wondering how someone could actually stand there and defend a gay man while literally bashing the whole ‘life-style’. “I don’t think I said I didn’t. I just stated that I had cut back the number of times I went. Once in a while, yes, I went to a club and fuc… had sex with another man I didn’t know. Do you want details, I’m sure I can remember enough.” “You’re honor, can you instruct the witness to only answer the question and not editorialize.” “Mr. Kinney.” “Yes, your honor.” Justin could see the brief disapproving look from Daniels, but knew the man was also laughing inside. He hated this smug ass who was questioning him, and he wasn’t going to let the man get the better of him. “I’ll try and refrain myself.” Bellwether’s attorney pulled out a document and set it on top of his note pad. “Why didn’t you try and escape?” “The door was locked. We tried to see if we could pick it, but there was no handle on our side of the door.” “And when the men came to give you your food and drink… why not then?” “Cause every time we moved closer to them, they would shoot us full of drugs to knock us out. Plus if they saw that we were awake they wouldn’t come in. They always made sure that we were asleep.” “But yet you were able to pretend to sleep, and they would come in. Seems awfully convenient.” Daniels stood from his spot and shook his head. “You’re honor, is there a question anywhere in there? Or is he just trying to badger the witness?” “Mr. Cox?” “Yes, your honor, I was getting to that.” Mr. Cox knew he had Justin reeling; all he had to do was keep it up before he dropped the bombshell. “So the thought of trying to escape when they came in never occurred to you?” “It occurred to us, and we tried once, but after we both woke up on the ground we knew it was a bad idea.” Justin closed his eyes for a second to try and calm his temper. This attorney was trying to get him on edge, trying to get him to act out, for what Justin could only think of was to show the jury that he wasn’t a weak person. To show the jury that maybe Justin didn’t want to get out of there. “Brian and I had tried to come up with many ways of trying to get out of that room. From trying to get through the damn ceiling to breaking down the door.” “So you enjoyed being in that room, being on display isn’t that right Mr. Taylor?” “It’s Mr. Kinney, and no I didn’t. I hated it. I hated knowing that people were watching me every second of every fucking day. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without them watching, I couldn’t sit and draw without them watching, and I sure as fuck couldn’t have sex without them watching.” Justin wanted to jump out of the chair and rip that man’s smug look off of his face. “Sure as fuck couldn’t do anything safe cause they made sure we had to fuck raw.” “Mr. Kinney,” The Judge called out over the loud roar of the courtroom. “I will advise you to refrain from using that language in my courtroom. We will take a fifteen minute break for you to calm down.” Justin had promised himself that he wouldn’t blow up again, that he wouldn’t lose control. He couldn’t allow Mr. Cox get to him. He couldn’t allow them to try and control him. “Mr…. Kinney,” Mr. Cox began rolling his eyes. Justin knew his own rage was just boiling on the surface, and he closed his fist tightly to keep from letting it out. “Mr. Bellwether has property next to yours in Canada, isn’t that right?” “Yes, I believe he does.” Justin had heard once or twice his parents arguing about how Justin had to be nicer especially since the Bellwether’s were his neighbors. He thought that his father was trying to do business with the man, but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure about that either. “Do you know that your father and grandfather both had tried to get the Bellwether’s to sell their property to them?” “No, I had nothing to do with anything my father or grandfather did. I stayed out of the whole mess until they died.” Mr. Cox gave Justin a small evil smile that sent a chill through the other man’s body. Justin wondered what the man was getting at, since he had no idea where this was heading. “They have always been your neighbor?” “For as long as I can remember.” “You’re honor,” Daniels stated trying to figure out for himself where the defense was doing. “I don’t see where this line of questioning has to do with the facts of the case.” “Mr. Cox?” “I am getting to that your honor, I ask for a little leeway.” “Very little, Mr. Cox. The objection is overruled, you can continue.” “Did your parents ever fight?” “All parents fight at times, yeah.” “How was your relationship with Mr. Craig Taylor?” Justin looked over at Daniels, hoping to get some idea about what this was all about. It was making him uncomfortable, and he wanted to know what the hell was going on. Seeing Daniels’ shrug, Justin turned his attention back to Mr. Cox. “It was okay, I guess. We didn’t see much of each other while I was growing up; my parents were always away on business or whatever. I don’t see…” “Did your mother ever mention, or hint at the fact that Mr. Craig Taylor may not be your father?” “No. What…” “Isn’t it a fact that you discovered that Mr. Taylor is in fact not your father, and that your mother had an affair with Mr. Bellwether, Sr.? That you discovered this and was angry at your brother for ruining your relationship with your parents?” “Objection your honor.” Daniels yelled over the outbursts coming from the people in the courtroom. He could see Justin in complete shock on the stand, and he wasn’t sure what this bit of information had to do with anything. He had an idea where Mr. Cox was going with it, to place doubt in the minds of the jury about the validity of Justin’s statements regarding the Defendant. “I request a bench conference.” Justin stared straight ahead, his mind whirling with the words of the Defense. Little things that his parents had said over the years began to make sense to him. His father’s coldness and his mother’s eyes that showed guilt when ever she looked at him. Could Bellwether have known that they were possibly related and if he did why would he treat his half brother they way he had Justin? He looked over at the defense table at stared directly at Bellwether. Justin kept his face impassive. He wouldn’t give the other man the satisfaction of knowing just how unexpected this revelation was. If ever he needed his husband it was now. . When the two attorneys finished with the judge, they went back to their respected tables, and Justin only wanted everyone to take a long break. He wanted to get out of there, wanted to try and get his mind around what was going on. “Mr. Kinney you will answer the question.” The judge stated, sounding like it was the last thing he wanted to say. Justin looked over at Bellwether then turned his attention toward Mr. Cox. “I had no idea that my mother had an affair, with Mr. Bellwether Sr. or anyone else for that matter. So I would have to say that since I didn’t know, it would be unlikely that I would make anything up to get even.” “But you had an idea that something was going on didn’t you?” “No. I guess, I just thought that my parents were busy. I didn’t know anything, and I’m not sure that I can believe what you’re saying now.” Justin knew that what Mr. Cox had reveled most likely was true, his heart told him that it was, even if he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to believe that everything in his life up to that point had been a lie, that he had grieved for a family that had lied to him his entire life. “You hate my client, isn’t that true?” “How can I hate him? I never liked his ideas, his views but to say that I hated him for something that I had no idea about would be a lie.” Justin could feel his hand start to shake, as his whole body felt like it wanted to shut down. He wanted… no needed to get out of there, out of that courtroom. His whole life was crashing in around him, and all Justin wanted to do was leave. The judge looked down at his watch and called for a break for lunch. Justin slowly stood tall, not wanting anyone to see how crushed he was, how totally destroyed he felt. Walking out of the courtroom, he went directly over to Brian and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m hungry.” “You okay?” Brian placed his hand on Justin’s chin and lifted his lover’s head so he could look into his eyes. Justin could only shake his head as he began to lead them out of the courthouse. “Later, I promise. Now… food.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin began to pick at his food as they sat in the small restaurant during the lunch break. He could feel Brian’s hand on his leg, lightly giving him the comfort he needed. ““I’m hoping that I will be done today, I can’t begin to imagine what they have in store for me when we get back in. Guess I’ll just have to put up with whatever shit the Defense is going to throw at me. Tell me again why we didn’t just pay to have him eliminated? The fucking attorney won’t even get my damn name right.” Justin quietly joked, albeit partly joking. The last thing he wanted was to go back to that courthouse and talk. He had already been on the stand a little over two days, and he was getting tired of answering all the questions, of having his life a complete open book. All he wanted to do was get this all over with, to move on with his life. He hadn’t told Brian yet the revelations that the defense had made regarding his mother and Bellwether’s father. Justin knew that he’d have to tell his husband, but he’d wait until later when they were alone. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. “Justin Taylor-Kinney.” Brian began. “You know I never thought I hear myself saying this, but that name has a nice ring to it.” Brian took his other hand and brushed away some fallen hair off of Justin’s forehead. “I could almost say I rather like it.” “Good, because I’m not changing it.” Justin answered with a small smile. “And it has the added bonus of pissing off the defense attorney.” He gave a full out grin to Brian. “And believe me; pissing him off is a good thing. Pissing on him would be better though.” “Kinky” Brian laughed and continued. “I was thinking that when this is all over, you and I should head back up to Canada. I wouldn’t mind trying out that new camera I bought.” “You can take pictures anywhere.” “Not of you standing naked in the small pool at the bottom of the falls. And not of you with your damn wolf sitting on the front porch.” Brian grinned. “Shit Brian, you remembered.” Justin’s face broke into a wide smile. Brian ignored him. “I was thinking that this time I’d rather fly in if you don’t mind. I don’t need the aggravation of you driving hell bent for leather through the Fraser Canyon.” He looked up at the ceiling as if thinking. “And at least two days in Vancouver, I want to see that big tree with all of its lights on.” “Ooof” Brian said. He now had his husband in his lap. “Sunshine, you’re making a scene here.” “You remembered, you remembered and you didn’t say anything.” “It’s not like I had anything better to do sitting in the court house hall for two days.” Brian drawled. “I admit, I mostly remember the good parts.” “You mean the sex.” “I mean the sex. But I do remember other things too.” Brian pulled him in for a kiss. “You really aren’t forgettable you know Sunshine. I guess Bellwether didn’t know about that. Once I fell in love with you, nothing could keep that out of my mind forever.” Justin smiled and blinked away a few tears that threatened to fall. He didn’t care who he offended by sitting on Brian’s lap. He needed the connection to the man he loved. “Now Sunshine, you might as well spit out what is bothering you. It’ll only get worse if you go back in there without talking to me about it.” Brian rubbed the back of Justin’s neck. “It’s not important.” Justin mumbled into Brian’s neck. Brian turned the blond’s chin up so that he could look into Justin’s eyes. “If it bothers you then it’s important. Start talking husband of mine.” Justin smiled at Brian’s tone of voice. “It’s just something Cox said about my mother and Bellwether’s father.” “Let me guess, he said that you and Bellwether were related.” Brian’s voice was dry. “Do you hate me now?” “Why in hell would I hate you?” Brian kissed him softly. “Do you hate me that my father was a drunken Irishman who beat up his wife and kids?” “No of course not.” Justin was indignant. “Well then I don’t hate you either.” Brian chuckled. “No wonder Bellwether is pissed with you. Apparently you got all the looks in the family while he looks like a horse’s ass.” Justin snickered. “Besides, why in hell he thought that little tid bit of information had anything to do with him putting both of our asses in his little zoo, I don’t the fuck know.” “That’s what Daniels said. His staff is working on that this afternoon. If anything it’ll probably backfire on Bellwether. Maybe that’s why he kidnapped me.” “You know, lets take Gus to Chucky Cheese tonight. I’m in the mood for mindless noise and happy kids.” “Only if you’ll play the games with us.” “I’m not wearing a damn hat though.” Brian answered as he pulled out his cell phone. “I’ll call the girls and see if I can spring him.” “I wonder what Mouse will say when he has to go into Chucky Cheese?” Justin wondered. “He’ll feel right at home.” Brian grinned. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ When Justin entered the courtroom after the brief break, he felt better than he had when he had left there just an hour before. Brian remembered, his memory was coming back, not completely but he remembered the important things, the good things. When he got back on the stand, he glanced over at Mr. Cox, Bellwether and Saperstein with a large smile on his face. He knew that they were going to be in for a big surprise once his husband hit the stand. It made almost all of this worth it, knowing that Brian would be okay, that Bellwether hadn’t been able to take what they had away from them. “You stated that you never met Mr. Saperstein, is that correct?” “Not before I saw him outside of the room when we were released.” “But you often frequented the club he owned isn’t that correct?” Justin shrugged a little. “I really don’t know. I didn’t live in this town long, mainly preferred my home in Canada or in New York. While I was here, I spent most of my time in school, or at a club outside of town.” “You never once went to the clubs on Liberty Avenue?” “Once, maybe a long time ago. When I first got to Pittsburgh. I wasn’t real impressed with things so I headed for different places, different areas.” “Why was that?” “Heck if I know, it wasn’t what I was looking for.” “And what were you looking for Mr. Tay… Kinney?” Justin smiled, trying not to laugh as Mr. Cox caught himself on the use of his name. “I was looking for something more than just a mindless one-night stand. After my parents were killed it just seemed like I had more important things to do.” He had glared right at Bellwether when he had said the last sentence, wanting the man to believe he hadn’t been affected at all by the little show before they broke for lunch. “You keep saying killed. You’re parents died in a car accident isn’t that correct?” Justin tried not to laugh as he caught the look of surprise on Daniels’ face. He hadn’t been able to attempt to bring in anything dealing with Justin’s parent’s death, or the mysterious phone calls, knowing that they would have been shot down. Hearing the defense opening the door for them was god-sent, in both of their minds. “Yes, however I had hired a private investigator that discovered that the breaks had been cut on the car. He also discovered that the tire tracks proved that they had been run off the road and down the hillside. That tells me that they were killed, murdered if you would rather say.” “But you have no proof to that? You are making it up like you have made up all the charges against my clients isn’t’ that correct?” “Oh, I have proof. I wasn’t allowed to bring it forward.” Justin wanted to say more, but lightly bit the inside of his lip. “The phone call I had received after their death confirmed it, and it wasn’t the only one I received of the type.” “What,“ Mr. Cox stated as he caught a glare from his client. “No further questions your honor.” Quickly he headed to the table and leaned over to talk to Bellwether. “Rebuttal?” “Yes your honor. Mr. Kinney, you said that you had your fears confirmed when you had received a phone call isn’t that correct?” “Yes.” “Did you ever receive any other phone calls of this sort?” Justin smiled at Daniels, letting the man know he approved of what he was doing. They hadn’t been able to get the phone call in but once again the defense had just shot themselves in the foot. “I received one not long after Brian returned home with no memory.” “It was the same voice?” “Yes.” “And who do you believe the call was from?” “From Mr. Bellwether.” “No further questions your honor.” Justin felt like he wanted to jump up and down as the defense asked for a small break to confer with his clients. Finally they had got something in that could cause damage to the Defense’s case. Daniels had told Justin that if it was brought up, if the phone call was mentioned by the Defense then he would get the expert witness on the stand to make sure that everyone knew it was in fact Bellwether. He had it all set up; all he needed was the door to be opened. “Good job.” Daniels stated as Justin walked past. Justin nodded, but stopped before he got too far. “Do you think you can get a hold of those documents on my parents that he has?” “I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee. If he didn’t give it to me in discovery, then…” Daniels shrugged. “I’ll try though.” “Thanks.” Justin turned and walked out of the courtroom. He had won, but he had lost so much more. Now they had to just wait to see what would happen when Brian took the stand. “Jus’n, Jus’n” Gus yelled as he rushed over and wrapped himself around Justin who had barely made it through the courtroom doors. “Hey Gus.” Justin laughed. “This is a pleasant surprise.” “Daddy and me are taking you on a date.” Gus said excitedly. “We’re going to Chucky Cheese.” Gus handed Justin two red roses he’d been carrying. “Flowers for you from Daddy and me. I gave you the one with the three leaves at the top. Daddy’s doesn’t have any leaves ‘cause they fell off. It was an accident.” Gus looked sad for a moment. “I love the roses Gus.” Justin looked up into Brian’s dancing smile and twinkling eyes. “We had candy too, but I got hungry.” Gus confessed. “You were a long, long time in that room. Daddy ate all of the black ones.” “He did?” Justin grinned. “I didn’t know daddy liked liquorish. “He likes black candies.” Gus clarified. “I want pineapple on my pizza.” “I want three ounces of JB on mine. “ Brian muttered. “Whose idea was this again?” “You’re just grumbly ‘cause you were bored out here in the hall.” Justin linked his arm through Brian’s and took Gus’ hand. “Take me home to change first will you guys?” Justin asked. “Okay Jus’n. “ Gus agreed before Brian could say anything. “I want you to wear your blue sweater that is soft like a bunny.” He smiled up at his friend. “It make me want to hug you.” “Me too, I want to hug you when you wear that sweater.” “Like son, like father.” Justin teased as they got into the car. His heart was suddenly light. Looking at the happy faces of Brian and Gus, Justin realized that Brian had known just how to make him feel good after the day’s ordeal. Being with his family was exactly what he needed. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was another full day before Justin had been excused from the witness stand. After a full day of being grilled by the Defense about every little detail in his life, Justin only wanted Brian to hold him, to tell him that it was worth it. That he was worth it. There was no detail that had been left untouched. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin had allowed himself to be led to the car without even taking time for more than a quick kiss from his husband. He sat down gratefully in the soft leather seat and leaned his head back. Closing his eyes Justin listened for the click of the door lock and then the sound of the car door shutting. He heard Brian get into the driver’s seat and then felt him reach over and do up his seat belt, pausing as usual to give him a kiss. Justin felt his lips turn up in a smile. Brian had that kind of a reaction from him each and every time they touched. He sighed. He was emotionally exhausted. After the evening they’d had out with Gus the night before he barely remembered going to bed. Brian and Gus both had worn him out with their antics at the children’s restaurant. Justin felt Brian’s fingers smooth back his hair from his forehead and then car started and he knew it was moving into traffic. Being in the safety of the small confined space of the car, his husband at his side and no one asking him questions, Justin fell into an exhausted sleep. Brian smiled when the even tones of Justin’s breathing told him that his husband was sleeping. He continued down the road and was soon on the freeway. It was Friday night and he was taking Justin away for the weekend. Their suitcases were in the back of the car, not that Brian planned on them needing much in the way of clothing. He wanted his blond in bed as much as possible during the two days of the weekend. He’d called in a favor from a friend and was borrowing his cabin on a nearby lake. It was secluded but best of all it came with someone who would provide them with meals each day they were there. Brian had arranged for a hearty supper to be waiting for them. He knew that while Justin hadn’t been eating lately, he’d be hungry once he relaxed. Justin woke as Brian turned into the long winding driveway leading to the cabin. “Brian, where are we?” he asked peering into the shadows that were quickly descending as the night crawled forward. His voice was sleepy. He rubbed his eyes trying to make sense of what he was seeing. “It’s a where we are spending the weekend Sunshine.” Brian unfastened Justin’s seatbelt. “It’s not our place in Canada, but it’s the best I can do until we can get there.” He let the back of his hand caress the side of Justin’s face. “Besides, I think maybe we need to spend some time reliving some of those memories I have.” “And maybe renewing our vows?” Justin was suddenly shy when he said the words. “And definitely renewing our vows.” Brian opened the car door. “Come on Justin, I know that dinner is ready and I bet that you’re starving. Justin smiled at Brian through the darkness. His husband was back and it felt damn good. They both stood inside the door to the small cabin. It wasn’t very large, certainly it didn’t compare with the one in Canada, but it was theirs and theirs alone for three whole days. “I almost expect to see Ghost lying on the floor in front of the fireplace.” Brian said with a grin. “Or Gus running around the corner to throw himself on the old wolf.” “Or you throwing yourself on me.” Brian hinted. “Now that I can do.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Ted finished up at Kinnetic late that Friday night. Cynthia had left more than an hour ago and the place seemed almost haunted by the ghosts of former tricks. The nervous man glanced over his shoulder more than once startled by the creaking of the old building. When it had been in its glory as one of the premier bathhouses in the city, Ted was sure that it had never made the kind of sounds it was doing that night. He closed down the computer and stretched. It was too late to head out to Woody’s and maybe meet the guys, they’d be at Babylon already and he was too tired for that. Ted grabbed his jacket from the back of the door and turned to shut off the lights. “Ted.” “Jesus Christ, you startled me.!” Ted exclaimed. He looked at the man standing by his door. “What the fuck do you want? Haven’t you caused enough problems?” “I know I shouldn’t probably even be here, but I have to know something.” The man looked over his shoulder making sure that no one had followed him. “Is Kinney and Taylor, are they, are they doing okay?” “What’s it to you?” Ted pushed past the other man leading him out of the building. He turned and locked the door. “I know I fucked up. I know I should never have started doing business with Bellwether, but I did and now I’m going to pay for it. I wanted out before we took Kinney and Taylor. I told Bellwether that. And then when he took those too, well it was the last straw. Kinney, well, Kinney helped me out once when I really needed it. He’s an all right guy. I would never have done anything to hurt him. I didn’t know Taylor, but shit it was obvious from the first that Kinney had fallen for him. I couldn’t do anything to hurt him if Kinney loved him.” “Sap, why are you telling me this stuff?” Ted continued to walk down the street. “I was thinking, maybe if I told the DA everything I know, and then maybe Kinney wouldn’t have to testify. I mean I would take the blame and tell it like it is. There would be no need for him to get up on the stand. I saw what it did to his husband. I don’t want him to have to go through that. And, and it would be worse because Taylor would be there in the room and hearing it all again only this time from the man he loved. I don’t want that to happen.” Ted turned and looked at the man who was walking beside him. “Look Sap, I’m not sure if I can do anything. I’ll talk to the DA and to Brian.” “That’s all I can ask. Give me a call when you know something.” “I’ll do that.” Ted stood and watched as the other man disappeared down the street and around the corner. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin was sleeping soundly. The wind rushing through the leaves in the trees outside their bedroom had acted as a sleeping pill and he fell asleep almost instantly. Brian on the other hand was restless. The leaves seemed to be talking to him and he tossed and turned until he finally got out of the bed and padded into the living room. He poured himself a glass of wine that was left over from dinner and sat on the sofa. The window faced the lake and Brian watched the full moon rise above the trees until it shone down brightly on the sparkling lake water. A loon called and then another. He shivered, but didn’t make any kind of move to find something to cover his naked body. The smell of the carpet in the cabin had brought a rush of what could only be a memory and this time it wasn’t a good one. - you hit him too hard - it was only a tap, he’s got a hard head - are you sure? Brian could hear the conversation though the words sounded like they were in far away tunnel. The taste of bile in his mouth was bitter. The back of his head hurt like hell and he could smell the damp wool smell of the carpet his face was pressed into. He opened one eye just enough to see one of the men. It was Saperstein. What was he doing? All he wanted to do was talk to him in his office and now this. It didn’t make sense….. Brian drifted into unconsciousness. He shook his head to clear of the memories. Justin stirred in his sleep and Brian smiled to himself. He was one lucky son of a bitch to have found Justin. Never before had anyone believed in him so unconditionally or had loved him with such fervor. The sound of an animal yelping across the lake rocketed through his brain. He looked into deep blue eyes filled with amusement. The blond man with his feet resting on the table was stark naked. He heard his muttered ‘shit’ as he once again fell unconscious. It had to be when he first saw Justin. It had to be a memory of that time. Justin had looked so frightened, and yet was so strong. He’d helped him through the worst of those first days when claustrophobia threatened to engulf him. Justin stood at the entrance to the living room and watched the emotions play across Brian’s face. He had to be remembering things and it didn’t look like it was the good ones. “Hey Stud” he called out, his voice soft and loving. “Get your sorry bare ass in here with me. I’m cold and I need you.” “You’re always cold.” Brian teased though he stood up from the sofa. “I’ll warm you up Sunshine. I’ll warm you up.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ When Justin woke, he immediately reached over to his husband. Not feeling anything but cold sheets, Justin stretched and padded across the room to look for where Brian might be. He spotted Brian on the phone sitting on the couch, so Justin went over to start a pot of coffee. “Listen, Theodore, I don’t care what the hell he says. I’ll fucking believe it when I see it. Just because he suddenly has this change of heart doesn’t mean that I’m not going to testify…no it’s exactly as I said it…. Who’s to say that it’s not a fucking trick? He could say that he wants to keep me from the pain, I don’t testify, and him and fucking Bellwether live happily ever after….I don’t fucking think so.” Brian glanced up and gave Justin a small smile as his husband set a cup of hot coffee in his hand. “Yeah, and I appreciate it, I really do, but this is something that I have to do. … Yeah, I’ll see you bright and early Monday morning.” “Everything okay?” Justin asked not wanting his sudden fear show on his face or in his voice. He saw Brian nod, as he curled up beside his husband. He needed the touch, needed to feel Brian beside him. “What’s going on?” “Theodore called to tell me that he got a visit from Saperstein last night. It seems that Sap wants to testify against Bellwether.” “Why?” Justin asked wondering why the man had a sudden change of heart. “He was going to do that before, but changed his mind. What makes anyone think that he will do this now, when he changed his fucking mind before we went to court?” Brian reached around to wrap his arm around Justin’s shoulder, pulling the younger man against his chest. He could feel the tension in his husband’s body, and silently cursed the fates that were working against him. He had brought Justin there to get away from this mess, and yet it still turned its ugly head toward them, reminding them that things are okay, that they still had to deal with everything. “From what Theodore told me, it seems that Sap feels bad. He said that he knew you went through hell up there, and he doesn’t want to put the two of through that again. He wants to spare us the pain.” Brian could hear the sarcasm in his own voice, wishing he could keep the sudden anger out of this voice. Justin removed himself from Brian’s arms and stood to look out at the window. He wanted to spare Brian the pain of testifying, of having to go through what he had. If he could make the whole thing disappear he would. “But if he does, then you won’t have to right? I mean, you could get out of testifying?” “Who says I want to?” Brian asked, looking at his husband like he had suddenly grown a second head. “Do you honestly think that I don’t want to do this? That I can’t handle it?” “I’m not saying that.” Justin turned around so he could look at Brian. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of a way that he could keep Brian calm, and still have his thoughts out in the open. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you know you don’t remember a lot. It’s not your fault, it’s Bellwether’s. But do you honestly want to have go have your whole life put out there just so you can confirm the few details that I said? Ted, Cynthia, Ethan… if who knows, Saperstein can do that. You don’t have to go through being dragged through the dirt like that. We can be done and over with it all. Just pack up and leave now. Start to put this all behind us.” “Is that what you want? You want me to give up?” Brian walked over to Justin. Placing his hand under Justin’s chin, he lifted his husband’s face to look into his eyes. “Justin, you went through hell up there. I know how much it all cost you, and I want to do this. I have to do this, just like you did. I can’t let you have the full burden of this, and with what I have remembered… well some of it you won’t know. I have to do this, Justin. For you, for me, for us. Don’t ask me to walk away from this. Don’t ask me to put this behind me because I can’t. The pain he put us through, the pain you’re going through… I can’t do that. If there’s a chance that my testimony could put that fucker behind bars, the I have to do it. With or without Saperstein’s testimony. Do you understand?” Justin closed his eyes trying to stop the tears that were flowing down his cheek. Leaning up, Justin wrapped his arms around Brian, molding their bodies against each other. “I understand. I love you, you know. Whether or not you ever remembered a second of the time we were there, it wouldn’t change what I feel for you.” “I love you too, and I want to do this.” Brian pulled back and placed a light kiss on Justin’s lips, then moved his lips across Justin’s cheek removing any trace of the salty tears on his husband’s flesh. “Now, we still have today and tomorrow. Let’s forget about those assholes for a while. Just take this time, and say fuck everything.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ End of Part Ten