Chapter Twelve May 23, 2013 Brian sat at the small terminal on base waiting for the MacFlight to arrive. The attendants behind the counter had informed him that the plane had been delayed in Philadelphia and they would be arriving within the next two hours. Brian had thought about going to the small kitchen located in the terminal, but when he had smelled nothing but grease he quickly turned away. Instead he pulled out a copy of the Stars and Stripes and settled in. “The macflight from Philadelphia is arriving. All passengers will check in with Customs at the baggage claim area.” Brian went through the door separating the arrivals and departures to wait for his husband. There were many sailors standing around waiting for their new command personnel. Brian was once again grateful for the sponger programs. It helped the new person get settled in a little more. Brian spotted his lover as he stepped through the gate, and waited until he was away from the ‘security check-point’ area. Walking up he wrapped his arms around Justin and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Have a good trip?” Justin nodded trying to hide a yawn. “It wasn’t too bad. Just woke up though.” “Well let’s get your shit and get on the road.” Brian stated as he went to pick up Justin’s bags from the turntable. “We need to make a quick stop to get you your Spanish ID card, but that won’t be too bad. They want us at this damn indoc class next week so that we can know Spain.” Brian stated as they were walking out to the small used car Brian had bought. Both had agreed that it wouldn’t have been wise to try and get their cars shipped over when they weren’t going to be there that long. It would take 2 months just to get there. “Don’t tell me that they want all of us to go. Everyone in your unit?” Justin asked trying to picture a room full of Navy SEALs. “Well we only have to go for like 2 days, or so they are telling me. You however, and the rest of the spouses have to go the whole week. Just think about it this way… you get to go out and experience the city.” Brian laughed, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe the shit they were trying to get them to do when the base knew they weren’t going to be there long. The Base Commander had told him that it was a good way to get accustomed to the way the Spanish people did things, that it would be good for relations if they knew a little about the culture. Brian figured it was just one more way the Base Commander could try and put a leash on the Team. Everything he had heard said that the Base Commander had been giving the SEALs on base a hard time. Not much of one since he had no actual command over them, but he had tried to get them under his wing. Brian knew that the Admiral had put his foot down, but it didn’t stop the crap that they had to jump through. Brian found out all the necessities during the past week he had been there with his talks with the leaving Team leader. “A whole week?” Justin groaned as he rested back in his seat of the older model BMW. “There’s no way around it huh?” “Nope, trust me I tried. The Base Commander doesn’t like the fact that we’re here and he can’t control us. He likes to think that he’s in charge, even though we have our own small command here, with a damn Captain. It’s just a power play, normal for the Navy.” Brian explained as he went down the street toward one of the three gates leading off base. “I think you’ll like the place I found though. The owner is going away for a year to the U.S. or France, or hell somewhere, and he left everything there for our use. He even has a damn pool in the back yard.” “From the pictures you sent me, I like it already. And there’s a phone in there right?” Justin asked knowing that not all places had a phone connection. Having a phone was too costly in Spain so not everyone had one. Brian nodded as he pulled up to the small villa just outside of the town square. The villa was only 10 minutes from the beach, and 20 minutes from the base. Close enough for Brian’s needs on base, but far enough away that they could pretend that they weren’t connected to the Navy at all. Brian had been thrilled when the orders had come in. The past year had been hard on him and Justin; they hadn’t had much time alone. Brian had hoped that even though he would be called out, that this assignment could strengthen their relationship. He knew they needed time together, he only wished that Justin had some of his friends here to help with the separation time. One couldn’t have everything. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Justin couldn’t believe that he was sitting in this small classroom listening to some man talk about the rights and wrongs of dealing with the Spanish people. Yes, he thought it was a good idea, everyone should know so they don’t cause some international incident, but to be here for 5 days was a little much. As he looked to his left he could see Brian trying to fight to keep his eyes open, as were the rest of his men. The instant Manuel had started to say break-time, they were out the door before the sentence was finished. “Are you stationed here?” A young woman asked. “My husband is going to be working at VQ-2. We have three long years here.” Justin smiled as the two walked out the doors. He spotted Brian leaning up against the wall with a cigarette in his hand, and shook his head. He knew that Brian smoked, had known. He also knew that Brian for some reason never did it in front of him. “My husband is with the SEALs. We’re only here for like 6 months or so.” Turning to the woman he held out his hand. “I’m Justin Taylor-Kinney by the way.” “Maria Vega Thompson.” She stated. “Personally I think that this whole class is just crazy. I mean, I’m Spanish born and raised in this area, married a Navy man, moved away, and they are telling me that I have to be here! Please. I could tell that man a thing or two.” Justin laughed shaking his head. He could relate. Although he hadn’t been to Spain before, he thought it was stupid to have someone who was born there attend this class. Of course he thought the class was stupid to begin with, but what could he do? “Which one is your husband?” Justin asked, wanting to have someone to talk to. Maria pointed to a tall, red head standing a ways away from everyone else. “He’s a little shy can’t you tell? I don’t know how he can be with me as a wife and him in the military, but what can I say. I’m working on that part.” She laughed. “Is yours here now?” Justin nodded, knowing he would have to bring both Maria and her husband into their circle. “The one against the wall, trying to hide his cigarette from me.” Justin laughed. “I can’t say he’s shy… just more like evasive. He is so used to keeping secrets that he comes off shy at times, I guess. I can tell you he’s nothing of the sort, of course.” “He’s one of the SEALs in the group. I don’t know if I could handle that. Not knowing if Richard was coming home or not. Not knowing when he would be there. I admire anyone who is with those type of men.” Maria said with pride and awe at Justin. Justin could only shrug and look at Brian. “Someone has to, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think they need love more than the rest of us. They deal with death so often; they need the reality of life and love as often as they can.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** June 2013 Justin Baby – do you miss me yet? Well let me tell you things around here are popping. You had barely cleared the runway when Michael was nosing around your little garden. I had to tell him a little white lie. I said Brian had a video camera on it 24/7 and he’d be checking all the time. I have all your MI paintings in my spare room – I was going to crate them for storage but I think that Harry’s idea of building you a studio is the better one. We will make sure there is a lock on the storage area and that it is insulated and temperature controlled to protect these wonderful canvas. I look at them sometimes and get shivers all over. Three parties, I’ve had three parties to cater since you left. Not bad. Komari has been great at referring business to me. I can see why you love her so much. Marilyn has been helping me and so has Vic Grassi. His health is actually improving. I think you were right when you said he just needed to be needed. A big hug to you. Did you really mean it when you said we could all come to visit you? It would be sooooo exciting. Maybe Thanksgiving week would be good. Spain should be lovely then and Deb could cook us all a turkey. Are you sure Brian won’t mind? I mean it’s a lot of money for you to spend on tickets for all of us. Well I must toodle off – I’m going to head to the shops and see if there is anything exciting on sale. Love and Hugs from your friend Emmett ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Justin sat by the pool reading the letter from Emmett, enjoying the taste of home. He missed being there in their small palace, but he knew that his place was by Brian’s side. He needed to make sure that Brian survived this time, and he knew that if he was in the states that would never happen. There had been times when Justin felt Brian’s distance. He wasn’t sure what it was, or what had caused it, but he had seen the signs. Brian very rarely ever smoked pot, even though the Navy ignored that drug now a days in their drug tests The Navy figured that as long as a person wasn’t smoking on duty, getting ready for duty, and it wasn’t in excess they would overlook it. So when Brian actually smoked some, Justin knew that his husband was hiding something. He only wished he knew what it was so he could help Brian. The sun was just coming up over the hills and laying a bright yellow and orange glow over everything. Brian had returned the night before from a mission, and Justin come down stairs so he could let Brian sleep. His husband had looked exhausted, which was another indicator to Justin that something was wrong. It was almost funny how Justin was learning all of Brian’s signs and could tell if a mission was good or bad. Brian didn’t even have to go to one of his hideaways, Justin could tell. “What time is it?” Brian asked as he climbed onto the chair with Justin, pulling his lover back against him. “Just after 7:30. You could go back to sleep. You don’t have to go onto base today do you?” He asked wrapping Brian’s arms tighter against him. He loved the feel of Brian’s naked flesh against his, never wanting that feeling to disappear. “No, we’re off today, thank God.” Brian closed his eyes, and relaxed for the first time in two days. He had missed Justin, and when his lover had crawled out of their bed earlier, Brian knew he would not get back to sleep. It had been getting harder and harder for him to sleep without Justin nearby when he was home. He had to have the connection, the reconnection to the real world. “I was wondering if it would be okay if we had the gang over for Thanksgiving. Fly them out here, you know. Let them spend a couple of days.” Justin asked his husband, finally letting Brian in on his plans. Brian shrugged not even opening his eyes. “Sure. I think it would be good for you to have them here. Of course we’d have to have some of them in a hotel nearby or something. This place sure as hell isn’t big enough for everyone. I don’t know where I’ll be, if it’s here or out there, but if I can I will be here.” “I know you will. You always are.” Justin leaned back against Brian and watched the sun rise. He knew without a doubt that if Brian could be there he would… if for no other reason than to be there for Justin. Justin was happy that Brian had agreed though. He wasn’t sure he would, considering how Brian felt about having the others around all the time. “Maybe we can just send them to the casino just outside the city, and let them have fun… maybe get loose. Or better yet, take them to Seville, the gay section of Seville… maybe they won’t go back home.” Justin sat up some so he could look Brian in the face. He could see the evil glint in his husband’s eyes and shook his head. “You are mean.” “I’m an angel.” “In your dreams, mister. In your dreams.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** July 2013 Dear Justin, Harry here, I got the final approval from the zoning board to start construction on your studio. Are you sure that the plans are correct; they show a rather large storage area with built in storage slots for paintings. But this appears to be more than 12 x 25 – isn’t that a lot? It’s no problem to build; I was only wondering is all. The same crew who worked on the renovations said they would come out and work on this in their free time. At least they are familiar with the odd ball family we have out here. Debbie stopped over the other night and invited me up to have dinner with her and Michael. I have to admit it felt kind of strange having dinner with another woman. I don’t know if I’m comfortable doing that much. I hope she doesn’t ask again. Vic Grassi has been a big help putting out the bedding plants with me. He’s slow and no gardener, but we get things done. I’ll send you a picture when everything is in full bloom. Harry ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 4th July 2013 “Brian, how in the world can we have a 4th of July festival and fireworks if we’re not even in the U.S? Won’t that like offend the nationals, or isn’t it against the rules… I don’t know.” Justin asked as the two got out of the car and headed toward a large empty field behind the Officer’s Club. Justin had been feeling different the past couple of days, missing the states terribly. He knew that it was because of the fact that they were overseas at one of the most festive and best holidays. The 4th meant something to them, to the ones living in the States, they were celebrating their freedom, and Justin was stuck in a foreign country. “Justin, just because we are overseas, and sharing a Spanish Naval Base doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate. It’s the 4th of July! It’s fireworks, rides… it means barbeques and beer. It means sharing time with friends and to hell with everyone else.” Brian stated as he flung his arms out to the side. “Kids playing, laughing…” “Okay… shit, I get the idea.” Justin laughed as the sounds of a live band began to fill the air. “What?” Brian smiled as he watched Justin break out into a run toward the sound. He knew that Justin had been depressed and was grateful that the base had their yearly festival. The fact that they could still have fun and act normal in a foreign country pleased Brian, because he knew that Justin needed this. Brian walked up behind Justin as his lover took in the sights. Filling the large field were cassatas lining either side of the field, children playing on the rides throughout, a live band playing on a large stage. It was everything that Brian knew Justin would want. They may not be stateside and have their friends nearby, but at least they had this. “We’re over there.” Brian said as he wrapped his arm around Justin and led him through the crowds. The two men came up to an empty section surrounded on either side by cassatas, with at least 20 SEAL Team members and their friends and family. “Welcome to SEAL Team haven.” Peters stated with arms wide. “We figured we’d buy us a spot, to hell with sharing our shit, and party like there’s no tomorrow.” Justin looked around and smiled, wrapping his arm around Brian’s waist. “This is great! Are they having fireworks too?” Brian nodded as he led Justin over to a lounge chair and pulled him against his body. “Fireworks and all the fixings. The base is open to the locals, and we’re just having one big ol’ American party.” He explained. “Happy?” “Extremely. It’s kind of silly being upset that we couldn’t have this.” Brian placed his hand under Justin’s chin and turned his face to look at him. “No it’s not. It’s normal. If they wouldn’t have had this here, I would have found you a celebration.” Brian lifted up slightly so he could brush his lips against Justin’s. “I love you.” “I love you too, Brian. Happy 4th.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** August 2013 Sunshine, your letter just brightened up my day. Vic is excited about his trip to Italy – it’s something he’s always wanted to do and to think that you have made this possible. I can’t believe it. Michael has met a new man. His name is Ben and he’s a college professor. Very good looking but he’s positive, so Vic and I are not too happy, but what can you do. Brian had better be treating you okay. I don’t like the idea of you being there all alone with him. I’ve heard that these Navy guys can snap – Post trama syndrome or something. You be careful and watch him. Love Deb ~~~***~~~***~~~*** ‘Post Traumatic Syndrome’ Justin kept looking at those words in Deb’s letter and he hated them. He knew that one day Brian would have to deal with the things he does when he goes out on missions, but he still didn’t like the thought of Brian being sick or hurt. He knew that Deb was worried about him, that she worried about how Brian was treating him. He had heard enough times from her how Justin deserved better, that Justin didn’t deserve to be left in the middle of the night, that a Navy guy wasn’t who Justin needed. He had heard it all and let it slide. Justin figured that Deb was entitled to her opinion; it didn’t mean he had to like it. Justin knew he would never leave Brian, and that Brian was the best thing for him… the right thing. He only wished that Deb would get it out of her mind that Justin deserved someone else. He wished that she would see that he belonged to Brian and Brian to him. Deb just saw that Brian wasn’t treating him right, that Brian chose to leave Justin. Justin decided he would just have to have a talk with Deb… and soon. The last thing he needed was that kind of help from friends. This wasn’t the type of help he needed. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** September 2013 – Rota Spain The phone in their apartment rang and Justin answered it sleepily. “Hello” “A large canvas but only one.” And then the phone disconnected. It wasn’t much but Justin knew that Brian would be called out soon and that it would be for more than a week but less than two. The code Mysterious Marilyn and he had devised had been pretty accurate so far. He rolled over preparing to go back to sleep. “Who was that?” Brian asked. “Wrong number” Justin mumbled. “We seem to get a lot of wrong numbers. I thought it would stop once we were in Spain but apparently they have the same problem.” Brian considered having a tap put on his phone and then dismissed the idea. Not only would Justin kill him if he found out, but it would limit what he could say to his blond boy when they only had the telephone connecting them. “S not important” Justin was drifting back to sleep. Brian got up on one elbow and looked at his peacefully sleeping husband. Justin was right; it wasn’t anything to worry about. Certainly the phone calls never seemed to bother Justin, in fact if anything, he relaxed more. Brian’s sixth sense, the one that made him a top notch SEAL told him there was more to the wrong numbers than Justin was saying, but he’d let it drop for the moment. When the bright Spanish sunshine finally forced the two of them out of bed, Brian headed to the base to work out in the gym there. While he was away, Justin busied himself making enough fudge for the team to last ten days. He had everything cleared up and packed away, including the tin packed in Brian’s kit, before Brian returned home. Later that afternoon Justin and Brian headed for the art supply store. For some reason that Brian couldn’t fathom, Justin felt he needed a larger canvas than the ones he already had. They returned home later that day with a canvas that to Brian’s eyes was ridiculously large. “You know Justin, every time you buy one of these, I never see you use it.” Brian shook his head. “Is it just some kind of weird art ritual or is there a stack of blank canvases somewhere waiting until you get the urge to paint me larger than life-size and nude?” Justin burst out laughing. “You discovered my secret only what you don’t know is that there are dozens of nude Navy Boys ready to show the world. Just piss me off some day and we’ll have a sell out show.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** September 2013 Dear Justin: Harry here, thanks for having Emmett put on the party for the construction gang and their families. You didn’t have to do it you know. But they all appreciated it and the bonus checks. I’m sending you the pictures of your studio. It’s something you’ll enjoy I’m sure and because it was going to be built close to your private garden area, I actually increased the wall around it to include the studio. With all of these strange ducks living here I figured you could use the privacy. I just wish I could put a barbed wire fence around Brian’s cabin. If I’ve run off Michael once, I’ve run him off a dozen times from snooping around the cabin. Emmett helped me load all of your completed works into the storage racks in the order you requested. And yes we photographed each one for the insurance company. The two you sent from Spain arrived last week and I’ve added them to the inventory list. My Maggie would have loved to have seen your work. Maybe she’s looking down on it from Heaven. Did I tell you she was an artist too? You kind of remind me of her, or what our child might be like had he lived. He’d have been about your age. I appreciate the offer of a ticket to come and visit in Spain, but if you don’t mind I’ll take a rain check. I think I’ll just stay here and enjoy the peace and quiet when your rag tag bunch goes. But I will go to the Baja house at Christmas again. Since you and Brian won’t be using it this year. I met a couple of retired Navy boys who live not too far from your place. We’ll sit in the sun and tell tall tales. I drained and cleaned the hot tub like you asked and I’ve gotten three quotes for the pool. I don’t like any of them so I’m going to check around for another one or two. Take care boy. Harry. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 31 September 2013 I’m stuck here, deep in some fucking jungle in god only knows where. It’s hot and rainy… really miserable. The one thing that is allowing me to get through this is thinking about you sitting by the pool, enjoying the sun and whatnot. How I wish I was there right now. I’m not sure how long this mission will last, it should only be a couple of days, but no one is exactly sure. The thing is even when we are done here, we are still on alert. It seems like that whole world is at war, conflicts popping up all over the fucking place. Christ! All I want is to be home. Granted, I’m not totally lost here. The only thing that makes it a little easier is to take my frustration out with someone. Sex is always a good stress relief, and I’m not hurting here for a quick blowjob or quick fuck. It’s not really what I need or want, but it helps ease the tension. My hand can only do so much. I know that hearing that I fuck around most likely hurts you, in fact I’m sure it does. I know it would be if I heard you did it, but I know that there’s nothing I could do to stop you. The way I look at it, as long as I’m faithful to you in my heart and soul… what my body does is different. Am I wrong in thinking that way? Maybe, but you know me. You know how I feel. If I could be with you and only you, I would. If I could give you my all, I would. But this is real life. With the way things are now, I couldn’t do it. Justin… I do have to tell you though, and I guess it’s truth time huh? I have screwed around on you. Twice now. Fuck! What I said in the above paragraph is a lie, it’s what I have been trying to convince myself is true. I am trying to tell myself that shit every second of every day. I want to be faithful, but damn Justin it’s hard. I miss you so much when I’m away. I see the hot guys biting at the bit to get to you. I hear what Deb and some of the others are saying about me, about how you need to dump me and move on to greener pastures. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Mainly cause I know it’s true. You do deserve better, you deserve it all. Yes, I have said that time and time again, but you do. But I’m selfish. I can’t give you up. Just like I can’t give this job up either. I love my work, I love what I do. It’s right, it’s helping others. I just wonder what I would do if I ever had to chose between you and this job. Could I do it? I don’t know. It’s times that Deb’s words or my fathers play in my head, or hell some stupid shit happens, that I lay there and crave your touch so fucking bad. I need to feel you so bad it hurts that it happens. I shouldn’t let it, but it does. Twice. Two times too many. Chief did get me thinking though; he said some things to me that made … well helped me realize some things. I started to think about what I would do if it was you. If you were the one fucking around. I realized I hated it. I felt like my heart was coming out of my chest, being ripped to fucking shreds. So I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for doing that to you. I want to try, Justin. I want to say it will never happen again. I want to make sure I’m faithful to you. I will do everything I can to keep that from happening. I only hope I can succeed. But if I don’t… know that I don’t want it to happen. I don’t ever want to put you in this position again. Please forgive me. Forever my Avalon, I love you, Justin. Brian. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** September 2013 “Okay Lieutenant, don’t keep it to yourself. I know Justin sent you out here with fudge.” Brian’s team was for once dry and able to rest in relative safety. At the word fudge, all of the other men’s ears perked up. “Peters, he probably didn’t have time. We were called out early.” Brian leaned against his pack. Fudge would be a nice treat he thought to himself. “Justin always knows when you’re going to be called out. My wife said she wishes we lived closer. She’d know that when he’s making fudge, we’re going to be heading out somewhere.” The others laughed at the absurdity of knowing in advance about the call outs. Peters was given a few boos and cat calls. “I haven’t found any fudge.” Brian admitted. “Can you look right at the bottom of your pack? I can see the outline of the tin.” This time it was Chief South who asked. Brian’s men were all familiar with the tin that held the fudge. Hoping that South was right, Brian sat up and pulled his pack forward, he looked at the bottom and sure enough it did look the hard container could be there. He dug into his bag to return triumphant with the box that had to hold Justin’s fudge. ‘I don’t know how you do it pretty boy’ Brian thought ‘but you have no idea what a life saver this is.’ While each of the men savored the flavor of the butter pecan fudge Justin has sent for them; Chief South, who was sitting close to Brian asked quietly. “Does Justin mind when you fuck around on him? I mean most of the wives would kill their guy if they did what you do.” “It’s different with guys.” Brian said. “They understand needs and sex are different from love and sex.” The Chief thought about Brian’s words for a few minutes. “I just hope you’re sure about that, because Lieutenant, Justin is one fine man and I’d hate for him to be hurt.” The Chief carefully wrapped up what was left of his piece of fudge and stowed it for later. He nodded to Brian before getting up and wandering over to the other men. Brian sat still, wondering if his Chief had been giving him a warning or whether it was just casual conversation. He did feel guilty when he tricked, but it was just to relieve the tension of the moment, he didn’t mean anything by it. Justin probably did the same thing when he was gone. The thought of Justin fucking someone else rolled through Brian like a bolt of lightning. He knew he’d hate it if he ever found out. He suspected Justin would feel the same way. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** October 2013 Brian tried to be as quiet as he could. The plane had gotten in late and the debriefing seemed to take forever. He was lucky one of the guys was able to drop him off. He would have hated to wake Justin. Tiptoeing in to the bedroom Brian was surprised to find their bed empty. There was no sign of Justin anywhere. He could feel panic welling up inside him. Justin had left him. He’d found out about his slips and had left him. He knew it was an unreasonable assumption, but ever since South had talked to him Brian had been filled with the weight of guilt, more than he’d ever thought possible. Not to mention a jealous rage that filled him to capacity at the thought that Justin might have had the same urge to find solace in another man’s cock. Just as he was about to panic, Brian looked out by the pool. There in the water that still held the heat of the day was Justin, floating on his back, naked, staring at the night sky. Brian’s sigh of relief was loud in the silence of the night, though Justin didn’t hear it so intense were his thoughts. Removing his clothing Brian, using his SEAL stealth training, slipped into the pool water with barely a ripple. He moved over to where Justin was floating and stood there and smiled. Sensing Brian was near Justin turned to his head to see and was immediately wrapped in the strong protective arms of his husband. “Hey pretty boy, were you looking up at the stars thinking of me?” Justin kissed Brian thoroughly before answering. “Sort of, Komari called today and we must have talked for two hours. She had found out that Smitty had screwed around on her when he was on a mission and she was going to leave him she was so mad.” “She was, but now she isn’t?” Brian asked. “Yeah, we kind of talked it out.” Justin said. He kissed Brian again and again. “Well, aren’t you going to tell me what changed her mind?” “Oh, well I told her that some guys relieve stress with sex or they’ll have sex with someone similar to the one they can’t have, kind like projecting what they want. It doesn’t really mean anything. Well it’s sort of a betrayal, but it isn’t love. It doesn’t mean that the Admiral doesn’t love her or anything. It just means that he maybe needed the few seconds of feeling loved that this kind of sex gives. It’s not like he screws around on her when he’s on base.” “So that took two hours to tell her?” “Well, we talked about you and me and if you’d screwed around on me and if I’d screwed around on you and stuff like that.” Justin kissed Brian again, this time letting go of more of his emotions that he’d been keeping inside since Brian had left. “Well” Brian said when he could breathe. “Well what?” Justin looked at him. “Have you?” “What, screwed around on you?” Justin looked at him puzzled. “Why in hell would I do that?” he was genuinely shocked that Brian would even ask. “I have been away a lot.” “So, I’m not some kind of sex addict or something. I’m a guy who loves his husband and frankly doesn’t find any other guy attractive. If I tricked I wouldn’t enjoy it so why trick.” Justin explained reasonably. “What did you tell her about me?” “I told her you did once, well twice now. I know you did when you were away on this mission.” Justin was quiet, his eyes burned into Brian’s. “How do you know?” Brian could barely get the words out his chest was so tight. “Because I feel it right here” Justin hit himself on his chest with a splash of water. “I can see it in your eyes when you came home the last time and this time.” “Do you forgive me?” Brian looked down not wanting Justin to see how guilty he felt. “Brian,” Justin tilted the other man’s chin so that Brian was once again looking into blue eyes. He wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist in the water. “What do you see when you look at me.” He paused slightly. “I’m hoping you see a man who loves you unconditionally. Yes it hurts me that you’ve tricked, yes I want to scream and cry and rant and rave. But mostly I just want to love you just a little bit more so maybe, just maybe there will come a day when I’m all that you want and need, even if you’re a thousand miles away for a thousand days. Because Brian, you’re all I want and need. So I just try a little harder.” “You ARE all I want and need.” Brian whispered. “I don’t know why I did it. It was nothing. It was worse than nothing because after, I wanted to scream and cry and tell you that I only want you and no one else.” Justin kissed the end of Brian’s nose and smiled broadly. “Then let’s just put this behind us. You try a little harder and I’ll keep trying. We have the rest of our lives to get it right.” Justin laid his head on Brian’s shoulder, the warm water enveloping them both Afterward, after they had made love filled with the passion of long waiting lust in the pool and then later, the gentle lovemaking that cries out for one partner to forgive the other, to finish with tender kisses and soft caress that said all is forgiven. Justin lay awake in Brian’s arms watching the night shadows turn to morning ones and then watched as the Spanish sun chased even those away. He laid there his mind raging silently at Brian for betraying their love with another, though he would never say anything out loud. He realized that he would have to spend some time in the make shift studio he’d created here in Spain to work out his feelings of hurt and betrayal. It was one thing to ‘think’ Brian had tricked and it was quite another to actually hear him say the words. Justin listened to Brian’s relaxed breathing and wanted to be able to lash out at him and scream and shout, but he didn’t, he willed himself to relax and once again wondered if it was all going to be worth it in the end. Finally he gave up all pretense of sleep and moved out from under Brian’s arms and off of the bed. He pulled on some shorts and headed for the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. As Justin leaned against the counter waiting for it to brew, the phone rang, he snatched the receiver up before it completed the sound. He didn’t want Brian to wake up. “Twice in a lifetime is not bad for a lesson learned. It often takes more. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do, but it is the best gift you can give.” The phone went dead. Justin sat there analyzing Mysterious Marilyn’s words and then smiled as what she had said sunk in. Brian wouldn’t do it again and he desperately needed Justin’s forgiveness. Brian had come awake when the phone rang. He stretched and realized that Justin wasn’t there. He felt fear that maybe Justin hadn’t forgiven him when the man he was thinking of walked into the bedroom carrying two mugs of steaming coffee and wearing nothing but a brilliant smile. “Hey Navy Boy, I made you coffee.” He said. “Another wrong number?” Brian asked taking a mug, the warmth of Justin’s smile warming him already deep inside. “Nope, a right number.” Justin carefully climbed in beside Brian. He leaned his head on Brian’s shoulder as they sat with their backs against the headboard and sipped their morning coffee. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian sat down on the couch watching his lover sketch. He hated to bother Justin, but Thanksgiving was coming up and he still didn’t know when everyone was coming… hell he didn’t even know who was coming and for how long. Taking a deep breath, Brian cleared his throat. “What, dear?” Justin asked as he looked up at Brian with a smirk. “They are coming the day after tomorrow, all of them including Vic and Michael’s new man. Most of them of course are staying at the hotel downtown, and they are here for a week.” “How the fuck did you know what I was going to ask?” Brian shook his head. It was happening more and more since they had arrived in Spain. Justin had been ‘reading Brian’s mind. It was almost like Justin knew exactly what Brian wanted, what he was thinking. “And stop doing that… it’s fucking scary.” “What, read your mind?” Justin laughed. ”Yes. You have been hanging out with Marilyn too much. That’s it. I forbid you from seeing her again.” Brian laid down the law as he headed toward the fridge to get a beer. “It’s frightening, Justin. I can’t do that with you.” “Are you upset because you can’t read my mind and I can yours?” “Yes! It’s unfair.” Brian pouted throwing himself back onto the couch. Justin laughed as he made his way over to Brian. Taking the beer out of Brian’s hand he set it down on the table and sat down on his husband’s lap. “Brian, it’s not so much that I can read your mind, its the fact that to me you’re easy to read. I know you like I know myself. I love you and since you’re a part of my soul, I know what you need. Even if you don’t. That’s what Husbands do for each other.” Brian reached up and ran his hands through Justin’s hair. “I wish I could say the same thing. I wish I could give you more than I do. Hell, you knew it when I…” Brian began as he closed his eyes. Brian still hadn’t forgiven himself for his ‘slips’, and he sure as hell couldn’t understand how Justin could forgive him. “I still can’t believe that you forgive me for that.” Justin leaned in to wrap his arms around Brian, and kiss him lightly on the lips. “It’s because I love you. You’re everything to me, and I can’t lose you. I know you won’t do it again, I have your word.” “I wish I was so sure.” “I know. Just trust me, trust in me, and trust US. That will get you through anything. It does me.” Brian quickly grabbed Justin’s shoulders and threw him down on the couch. Lying on top of his husband, Brian looked Justin in the eyes, seeing the love the blond had for him, the trust he was willing to put into Brian. Realizing that it wasn’t worth a fight, Brian knew he would put his trust in them, as Justin had asked him to. IT was the least he could do. “When did you get so smart?” Not waiting for an answer, Brian kissed Justin with all the love he could, all the passion he had for the blond in his arms, sealing the promise that he was making. “I will. I trust you, us. As long as you’re here, I can do anything. I won’t hurt you again.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Three Days Before Thanksgiving 2013 “Komari can you phone him please?” Justin was sitting on the edge of a hospital gurney in the emergency ward of the local hospital. “He’ll take it better from you. You know he’s going to completely freak out.” “Justin, how do you think he’s going to react if I phone him from Virginia?” Komari was trying to reason with her friend, though she could barely keep from laughing. “Could you ask the Admiral to phone him? He won’t scream at the Admiral.” “I’ll ask William to call. Will you be alright for awhile there?” “Yeah, they have to x-ray it and then I have to have a cast put on. This shit takes time.” Justin sounded depressed. “Komari he’s going to kill me when he finds out.” “Well why did you climb down to the water over the rocks?” she asked. “I thought you told me Brian said not to unless he was there.” “The thing is Komari, Brian tells me not to do lots of things. If I listened to him all the time, I might as well stay in bed.” “Which is apparently where you’ll be for the next six weeks.” She started to laugh. “I miss you Justin, you always keep me laughing. “Tell the Admiral to have Chief South with Brian when he talks to him. The Chief can usually keep Brian rational.” Justin explained patiently. “I’ll see what I can do. William is going to have to pull in some favors to call the base and find both Brian and Chief South.” “Well he’s an Admiral,” Justin reasoned. “It’s good for him to do stuff like this, keeps him humble.” “I’ll tell him you said that.” Komari could barely be understood she was laughing so hard as she hung up the phone. “Lieutenant Kinney and Chief South, you are to report to the CO’s office for a phone call from Admiral Smith.” The Yeoman stood nervously while relaying the request. These SEALs terrified him. Brian looked at South his eyebrow raised. “Both of us?” “Well, it’s really a call for you, but the Admiral requests Chief South to be with you.” Brian’s heart almost stopped. Something must have happened to Justin was all he could think. The Chief saw Brian’s face go white, they both hurried to the office. Brian all but collapsed at the desk with the phone. “Admiral Smith what’s happened to Justin?” his words were hard to get out, his chest was so tight. “No son, calm down. I told Komari this wasn’t a good idea. Justin is fine. He broke his ankle and he’s at the local hospital. He will need you to pick him up. I’ve arranged for you to leave early to do so.” “And South, why did you need him?” Brian had to ask. “Seems Justin was afraid of your reaction; something about you probably killing him. He felt the Chief could keep you calm.” The Admiral laughed. “I knew it wouldn’t work but trying telling my wife that.” “Thanks for the call Admiral.” Brian said. His hand was shaking when he hung up the phone. He turned to the Chief South. “The little shit broke his ankle and had the nerve to call his buddy Komari in the states and ask her to get the Admiral to phone me. Like the Admiral is just there hanging around waiting for Justin’s little crisis.” Brian was fuming. “Hey, it could have been worse. He could have called the President.” South tried to bite back the smile that was threatening to take over. “Justin probably knew I’d save his ass from you frying it/ that’s why he needed me.” And then he did burst out laughing. Brian glared at him and then he began to laugh too. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** “So Lieutenant, what are you and Justin doing for Thanksgiving?” Chief South asked as he sat down next to Brian. “The family is coming in three days, and I have to leave here early to go and get them. Fuck we have to rent a fucking van to pick them up in… no scratch that… two vans. Justin told me that they are all coming.” Brian stated running his hand through his hair. As the time came closer he had been having serious thoughts of canceling it. He knew he couldn’t for many reasons, but the thought was there none the less. He couldn’t cancel it because it meant so much to Justin. That was the main and basically ONLY reason why he didn’t. The reason why he wasn’t finding a hotel himself for the next couple of days was because he didn’t want Justin to have to try and explain why his no good husband wasn’t there. Deb was pissed enough that Brian didn’t want to give her any more ammunition; she was already going to rip him a new asshole when she saw that Justin was laid up. The night before had been hell. When he had gotten the call from the Admiral as he was heading out the door the night before, Brian had gone through various emotions. The first one was fear when the words Justin and hospital, the anger when he found out WHY Justin was there. One of these days the blond would actually listen to what he tells him. Justin should learn that when Brian tells him ‘don’t do that’ that there is a reason behind it. But no, Justin was determined to do what he wanted. “So I need another body to come with me, since Justin so eloquently broke his fucking ankle last night.” Brian said with a small smile on his lips. “Let’s go, Chief.” “Fuck, LT. I would like to make it home alive to my wife!” He tried to reason with his boss. “Sorry, if I have to deal with a pissed off Italian PFLAG mom, who just adores her little Sunshine, and thinks I’m Satan incarnated… you can too. We watch out for each other remember. Now move.” Brian got out of his chair, pulling Chief South behind him. “When I said I would protect you, LT… this was NOT in my contract. I need more hazardous duty pay for this.” “Join the Navy… see the world.” “Have Lieutenant get you killed by the in-laws… HIS.” Chief South stated as he followed Brian out of the building. “I didn’t sign up for this shit. You’re lucky I like Justin so much.” ~~~***~~~***~~~ End of Chapter Twelve