Thanks to my beta, CuJo. Sorry if any mistakes appear, just let me know. Enjoy everyone.
Looking through the looking glass, looking back at me
I've got X-ray rear view vision but I don't like what I see
Brian knocked on the door and waited. When Melanie was the one who opened the door, he groaned inwardly.
“What do you want?” Melanie asked.
“I came to see my son,” Brian told her.
Melanie stepped to the side and let him in. She sometimes still wished that he wasn’t the father, but what else could she do. The truth was that if it wasn’t for him they wouldn’t have Gus.
“Hey,” Lindsay said.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Gus shouted as he ran to his father.
“Hey,” Brian said as he picked him up. “How're you doing, Sunny boy?”
“Okay,” Gus smiled and hugged Brian.
Brian sat down with Gus on his lap. Lindsay quickly went over the sofa and sat down. Melanie stayed up, watching them and feeling left out as they played with Gus.
“Hold on, Sunny boy,” Brian said, putting Gus down for a few seconds to answer his cell.
Gus sat on the carpet and grabbed a crayon from the floor to color on his book while his daddy talked on the phone.
“Hold on a minute,” Brian said. “Who is this? Oh, yeah, I know Justin Taylor, why?” Brian heard the bartender and then sighed. “What hospital? Okay, thanks.”
“What’s going on?” Lindsay asked.
“A friend of mine is in trouble,” Brian got up sighing.
“Justin Taylor?” Lindsay asked.
“Yeah,” Brian told her. He hated when people eavesdropped on his conversations. He knew that she was there, but at least she could have pretended or moved away.
“The Justin Taylor?” Lindsay asked.
“What do you mean?” Brian asked wanting to get to the hospital.
“He’s an artist right,” Lindsay said.
Brian nodded slowly not sure he liked where the conversation was going.
“You know Justin Taylor?” Lindsay asked looking at Brian like he was lying.
“You could say I do,” Brian told her smirking. “It’s like the old story of Michelangelo and David. They were...”
“In love?” Lindsay asked stunned.
“Fucking,” Brian told her smirking.
“It figures,” Melanie said shaking her head.
"Who asked you to butt in?" Brian asked.
Melanie glared at him. “Fuck off.”
“Don’t talk like that, Mel,” Lindsay said. “Gus can hear you.”
Melanie rolled her eyes.
Brian walked over to the door. “Gus, come here.”
Gus let go of his crayons and ran to his father. “Where you going?”
“Daddy has to go,” Brian said. “A friend of mine had an accident.”
Gus pouted.
“But I am going to come back, okay?” Brian told him.
“Is your friend okay?” Gus asked.
“I have to go see,” Brian told him. “Give me a kiss.”
Gus threw his little arms around Brian’s neck and planted a sloppy kiss on Brian’s cheek. Brian hugged his son and then let him go. “I'll be back, okay?”
Gus nodded and then ran back to where he had left his coloring books.
“I have to meet him,” Lindsay said.
“What?” Brian asked.
“Justin,” Lindsay told him. “I hear he’s a great artist. He has works hanging all over the country.”
Brian didn’t say another word to her. He just turned around and left to see what had happened with Justin. He called the blond to find out what was going on.
“Who the fuck is this?” Justin asked as he answered his phone.
“Me,” Brian told him.
“Oh,” Justin said. He hadn’t bothered to see who was calling. “What do you want?”
“I’m coming to get you,” Brian told him.
“I’m not actually home,” Justin said as he signed the paper that the nurse gave him.
“I know that,” Brian told him. “I will be there in a few seconds. Are you okay?”
Justin frowned. “How do you know where I am?”
“I have my sources,” Brian told him.
“Creepy,” Justin told him. “This could mean so many things, but I am going to opt for the simplest one. You are a good friend.”
“That works,” Brian said realizing that he was starting to look like a concerned boyfriend among other things.
“Hurry up. I’m in pain,” Justin told him and hung up.
When Brian got to the hospital, Justin was outside having a cigarette. “Justin.”
Justin looked at Brian. “What?”
Brian put his hand on Justin’s cheek and saw the gaze covering part of Justin’s forehead. “What the fuck happened?”
“Not much,” Justin said. “Some guy wanted to fight.”
“They said you started the fight,” Brian told him.
“Whatever,” Justin threw the cigarette away. “I’m ready to go home. Can you give me a ride?”
“Sure,” Brian said. “Did they stitch it?”
“Yeah,” Justin stopped and looked at Brian. “That guy was bothering me you know. I just...I might have lost it.”
“I see,” Brian told him. “What happen to the guy?”
“Just a bruise eye,” Justin said. “He might have been bigger than me.”
Brian shook his head. “You are fucking nuts.”
They got in the car and Justin started playing with the radio.
“Where were you?” Justin asked. “I mean, my problems didn’t interrupt anything.”
“I went to see my son,” Brian said. “I didn’t have to come here, you know. I wanted to.”
“Right,” Justin said. Brian had told him before about his kid. “How is he doing?” he felt important knowing that Brian would be there for him if he needed him.
“Getting bigger by the second,” Brian told him.
“Good,” Justin yawned.
“What did they give you?” Brian asked.
“Nothing,” Justin told him. “Can you believe that?”
“Aren’t you, like, allergic to almost everything?” Brian asked.
“Yeah,” Justin frowned as he touched the wound.
“Maybe that’s why,” Brian watched the road ahead.
“They could still have given me something,” Justin pointed out. He looked at his hand and saw that his fingers had blood on them. He frowned and shook his head as his eyes saw so much blood everywhere. He just wanted the blood to stop flowing.
Brian felt Justin’s hand grasp his tightly. He didn’t even look at Justin to know something was wrong. “Justin?”
Justin was just staring ahead not saying a word. His hand clamped down on Brian’s thigh.
“Justin,” Brian stopped the car and looked at the blond. “What the fuck is wrong?”
Justin looked at him. “When I almost died, there was so much blood. I remember that now.”
Brian froze for a few seconds. His voice was gone and everything felt so alien to him. “What...what are you talking about?”
Justin looked at his hand again. “Blood.”
Brian sighed and reached inside the glove box to get out some napkins and the antibacterial solution he kept there. He started to clean Justin’s hands but his mind kept going to what Justin had said.
“Justin,” Brian whispered.
“What?” Justin asked.
“What happened?” Brian asked as he kept looking at Justin’s hands to make sure they were spotless.
Justin shrugged. “One day this guy got bored...maybe...I don’t know. He decided to go to school and shoot a bunch of people. I was one of those people.”
Brian swallowed hard and he just held Justin’s hand in of his. He looked at the blond and he felt so small just looking into Justin’s eyes. Because there was such much pain and he wanted to help the blond. He just didn’t know how.
“I was so scared,” Justin’s voice sounded so far away.
Brian felt his skin running cold with all that Justin was telling him. He had nothing to say; he could only listen now.
“I had a bullet hit my chest and another one my head and I didn’t die,” Justin shrugged. He knew that Brian had looked at the scar before but never asked about it. “I guess it wasn’t my time yet.”
Brian’s mouth was dry. He looked at the steering wheel and, letting go of Justin’s hand, he grabbed it. “I guess it wasn’t.”
“I never remembered the blood before,” Justin whispered.
Brian closed his eyes and suddenly the noise outside the ‘vette came inside. Time started moving again.
“Just...drive me home, please,” Justin told him as he threw his head back and closed his eyes.
They drove to Justin’s apartment in silence. Brian was tense all the way, he hadn't known Justin before and now everything that affected the blond, in the past or now, affected him too.
Justin suddenly felt so tired. He didn’t know why he had told Brian about what had happened. He never told anyone but then again he hadn’t been lying to his father when he had said that Brian wasn’t a stranger.
“Are you coming up?” Justin asked as he opened the door to the ‘vette once they arrived.
Brian killed the engine and got out. He followed Justin into his apartment, making sure that the ‘vette was locked.
“Are you hungry?” Justin asked.
“No,” Brian said.
“Me neither,” Justin told him.
Brian stood there not saying anything.
“What are you thinking?” Justin asked him.
“I’m not sure,” Brian walked over to the sofa and sat down.
Justin went to him and sat down too. “It’s no big deal.”
“It is a big deal,” Brian told him. “You could have died.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Justin sighed as he put his feet on the sofa as well and his head on Brian’s lap. “I’m so tired...of so many things.”
“Why did you start a fight?” Brian asked.
“The guy was bothering me, Brian,” Justin told him. “He...he thought I would just take the abuse.”
Brian ran his fingers through Justin’s hair. “You should be more careful.”
Justin smiled. “You know, sometimes I like you better than I do myself,” he whispered to Brian. “You’re a good man.”
Brian shook his head. “I feel the same way some days,” he took a deep breath. “Just wishing I could be someone else entirely. And I am anything but good.”
Justin laughed and closed his eyes. “We’re nuts,” he deduced and just enjoyed the soothing feeling that Brian was providing. He wished he could break away from his skin and be a whole new person. Be more powerful, immune to everyone that was trying to harm him. He opened his eyes and looked at Brian. “Can you stay with me here?”
Brian nodded.
Justin smiled. “Thanks," then, sometimes, he liked who he was just fine.
***
I found out I’m scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Cynthia came into the office and smiled at Brian. “There is this guy outside and he won’t leave. He says he wants to speak with you. I think he is drunk…or something.”
Brian sighed and got up to see what was going on when Justin came inside.
“You can leave us now,” Justin said looking at Cynthia.
Cynthia looked at Brian who was smirking. She nodded and left them. Justin walked over to the door and locked it.
“What do you think you are doing?” Brian asked.
Justin walked over to the brunet and smiled. “I was thinking about you.”
“Is that so?” Brian asked. He frowned, a little afraid of what Justin really wanted from him.
“Yeah,” Justin pushed Brian back in his chair and sat in front of him on the desk. “I was thinking you are a good fuck.”
Brian smirked and nodded. “Obviously.”
Justin laughed and looked around the office.
“What did you take?” Brian asked. “Jeez, Justin. It’s noon.”
“I’m okay,” Justin grabbed a pen from Brian’s desk. “I talked to my father. He’s an asshole, you know.”
Brian sighed and didn’t blame Justin one bit. He had a father of his own. He knew how things could get.
“Are you busy now?” Justin asked as he put the pen down. He stared at Brian as a little smile form in his lips.
“What if I am?” Brian asked.
Justin started to undo his pants. “Maybe you could take a break. I really need to talk to you about something.”
Brian watched to see what the blond would do next.
“It’s really important,” Justin told him as he stroked himself.
“Oh, yeah,” Brian licked his lips. “What’s that?”
“Fuck me,” Justin told him.
“I've already had you,” Brian stayed sitting on his chair but it was taking a lot of self control.
“Lucky you,” Justin started to take off his shirt. “You can have me again and again and again. I really don’t mind.”
“I bet,” Brian’s hand quickly grabbed Justin’s pants and pulled them away.
“You make me forget,” Justin told him.
Brian caressed Justin’s face and when the blond was naked, he let him straddled his lap. Justin got his hand in between them and undid Brian’s pants. He managed to take a condom and put it on Brian. Then without much ado he impaled himself on the hard, leaking member.
“Are you okay?” Brian asked.
Justin nodded and started to rise and fall on Brian’s cock. He closed his eyes and let the world fade away from him, holding tightly to Brian. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and got up. He placed Justin on top of his desk. Then he started to pound the blond.
“Ah!” Justin moaned as he felt Brian’s cock pushed inside of him. He closed his eyes and then opened them wide when Brian’s hand covered his mouth.
“Quiet,” Brian gasped out.
Justin licked his lips and grabbed hold of his cock. He started jerking off slowly at first. Then with his other hand, he massaged his sac. He was in heaven and was about to free fall all the way from the top.
“Ready?” Brian asked over his ear.
Justin just moaned since Brian wasn’t letting him talk. Then pleasure was cursing through his veins, his skin, and every part of his body.
“Hey,” Brian whispered as he kissed Justin on the lips. “Are you okay?”
Justin nodded and sat up. He noticed that Brian was sitting in his chair again so he got up from the desk. He looked at the floor and reached for his clothes.
“Justin,” Brian whispered.
“What?” Justin asked snapping at Brian.
They looked at each other, the office filled with nothing but silence now.
“Nothing,” Brian finally said not sure what would have come out of his mouth.
“I have to go,” Justin told him as he put his pants on. His hands were shaking and he knew it was stupid but Brian made him that way.
“Okay,” Brian looked at the mess on his desk. “I have to fix some things.”
Justin just nodded as he put on his shirt. “I’ll be seeing you later, old man.”
Brian glared at him. “Fuck you.”
“Again?” Justin asked smirking.
Brian shook his head as he looked at the blond. Justin walked over to him and kissed him. He sat down on Brian’s lap and kissed some more. When he pulled back, the expression on Brian’s face was the same on his. They were both wondering what they were doing still fucking each other.
“I’ll see you later,” Justin told him when he got up.
Brian shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he wondered if Justin would listen and stay away. “I think we had all the fun we could.”
Justin laughed. “Later, stud,” he walked out closing the door behind him.
Brian sighed as he rearranged his clothes. He thought of Justin for a few seconds and felt himself getting hard. He cursed knowing it was always the same. The blond could get him so fucking horny. He was sure Justin had a few connections with witches.
He shook his head and hoped that he would find the blond at Babylon. One last time and he would be done with the blond; then again he really didn’t believe that since that’s what he had been telling himself for a long while now.
***
There's a candle burning
In the world tonight
For another child
Who vanished out of sight
Brian was looking at the screen on his computer trying to come up with something brilliant when there was a knock on the door. He stayed quiet not bothering to get up. Whoever it was would have to come back later. He waited a few minutes but the knocking wouldn’t stop.
Getting up, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He looked at the gray, metal door and walked over to open it. “Hello?” Brian asked as he opened the door with his beer in hand. He took a sip and stared at the blonde woman standing on the other side.
“Hi. I know you don’t know me. I’m Jennifer Taylor. Justin’s mother,” Jennifer looked at Brian. “I found your address in my son’s address book. It was one of the few that he marked with a red marker. I know he does that with the important ones.”
Brian arched a brow wondering what she wanted. “Right.”
Jennifer sighed. “I’m trying to find him.”
“He’s not here,” Brian told her.
Jennifer seemed to crumble then. Her face was stricken with pain and worry on hearing that Justin wasn’t there either. “I’ve looked everywhere.”
“What do you mean?” Brian asked.
“He’s missing,” Jennifer told him. “It’s been days since I have talked to him.”
“I’m sure he has been busy,” Brian didn’t want to deal with Justin’s mother. He just thought she was overreacting. “He’s a big boy. I’m sure he is okay. He’ll give you a call as soon as he can.”
“I haven’t heard from him,” Jennifer whispered. Her voice was tight. “He always calls.”
Brian tried to remember if he had seen the blond in all that time and realized that he hadn’t. The bad feeling he had been having the whole week hit him full force. “I’m sure he is okay.”
“Is just that...sometimes he...has these episodes,” Jennifer bit her lower lip. She looked at Brian and knew she shouldn’t be telling him anything about Justin’s life. “I’m sorry that I’ve bothered you.”
“Wait,” Brian told her. “What do you mean?”
“After...he had an incident when younger,” Jennifer told him. “He almost died.”
“You mean the bullet to his head,” Brian said.
“You know about that?” Jennifer asked.
Brian nodded.
“Not many people do,” Jennifer whispered.
“Come on in,” Brian told her and closed the door once she was in the living room. “Now, tell me what’s going on.”
Jennifer and Brian sat on the sofa. Brian just waited for Jennifer to put her thoughts in order.
“He...he would have these episodes where reality just got away from him,” Jennifer said. “His father...his father has a lot to do with that when that happens.”
“Yeah,” Brian said. “These past weeks, Craig has been coming to see him.”
Jennifer frowned. “But he told me he hadn’t seen his father.”
“Even I’ve seen his father,” Brian told her.
“He’s just trying to help,” Jennifer explained.
“I don’t think so,” Brian looked at her hands. She was constantly rubbing them and it was making him nervous. “Do you want anything to drink?”
“No, I’m okay,” Jennifer assured him. “He is just a baby,” Jennifer sighed. “I don’t know what to do. He is out of control. Each time he spirals out of control the damage is greater...and I’m scared.”
“Justin is not a baby,” Brian told her. “He’s a man. I am sure he is fine.”
Jennifer shook his head. “I really need to find him.”
Brian sighed. “I can’t do anything.”
Jennifer nodded. “I know that but if he calls, can you let me know?”
Brian nodded and got up when she did, abruptly. Brian stayed there as she walked to the door.
“Thank you,” Jennifer said and opened the door, getting out of the loft quickly.
Brian sighed and took a sip of his beer. He walked to the door and locked it and then put his back to it. He needed to find Justin too and made sure the blond was okay. Grabbing the phone he dialed Justin’s number by memory.
“This is Justin Taylor. Leave your message or fuck off,” Justin said.
“Great,” Brian said having up. He tried the blond’s cell phone but it was more of the same without the profanity. “Fucking great.”
Brian didn’t know why he hadn't thought of Justin before but with all the work he had, he lost track of time. He shook his head and was sure that Justin would appear at any minute now. Throwing the phone of the sofa he sat down and just waited trying to push the awful feeling away.
***
Well, the times is frightening
Can't ignore the facts
There's so many people
Just slippin' through the cracks
Brian sat in the booth and looked around. He grabbed his phone and dialed the memorized number.
“Hello?” Jennifer said.
“Have you heard anything?” Brian asked.
Jennifer made a strangled sound. “Uh, no.”
Brian sighed. “Thanks.”
“Call me...if anything,” Jennifer closed her eyes. “Do you think he is okay?”
Brian froze up.
“I mean...I...I don’t know what to think,” Jennifer told him. “Do you think he is coming back?”
Brian frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Jennifer said. “The first time they fought Justin moved to New York. Then he went to Virginia. Craig would find him each time. The last time he and Craig fought, Justin moved all the way from California to Pittsburgh. I don’t know why he came back home, but I was happy,” Jennifer made a strangled noise. “I don’t want him to leave again.”
Brian’s heart was beating fast. He couldn’t deal with the idea of not seeing Justin at least one more time.
“He has money, Brian,” Jennifer told him. “He could be anywhere.”
“Yeah, he can,” Brian said trying to sound like it didn’t bother him. “That also means that he is okay.”
Jennifer sighed. “Right. I should go. I don’t want the line to be busy in case he calls,” she hung up quickly after that.
Brian closed the cell phone slowly as he looked at it. He couldn’t believe that Justin had just vanished into thin air. It couldn’t be possible that no one knew where the blond was. It had been a couple of weeks and he was losing his mind already. He didn’t know how Justin had managed to get under his skin.
“Hey,” Debbie smiled and sat down while giving Brian his cup of coffee.
“Hey,” Brian stared at the black coffee.
“What’s going on?” Debbie asked.
“Nothing is gong on,” Brian assured her. “Everything is fucking perfect.”
“I’ve known you since you were fourteen years old, you know,” Debbie smiled. “You can’t fool me.”
Brian frowned and ignored her.
“Where is Justin?” Debbie asked.
“I don’t know,” Brian told her. He shrugged. “He’s not my fucking responsibility.”
Debbie watched the brunet and nodded. “Did you two have your first fight?”
“What?” Brian asked as he leaned back. “What are you talking about?”
“I know that even if is not a normal relationship, it’s still a relationship,” Debbie told him. “I’m happy for you.”
“We were never together,” Brian told her. “Not in the way you're thinking.”
“You look like the world is about to end,” Debbie pointed out. “Why is that?”
“I do not,” Brian was getting so angry. He was so blaming Justin for everything now.
“Right,” Debbie told him. “I’m going to leave you.”
Brian once again stared at his coffee.
“I like him,” Debbie said as he got up. “He’s a nice guy. Kind of like you.”
Brian rubbed his face and looked at her. Debbie was smiling at him. She winked and left him there.
“That’s just great,” he whispered to himself. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Part of him wanted Justin to stay away so his life went back to normal but the other part wanted the blond there now. “Fucking great.”
“Hey,” Michael said sitting across from Brian.
Brian lifted his head and looked at Michael before going back to staring at is coffee.
“What’s with you?” Michael asked.
“Nothing,” Brian told him. That’s all he needed now, for Michael to bother him just like Debbie had.
“Hey,” Emmett said coming after Michael.
Brian just stayed silent as Emmett sat down.
“Have you been here long?” Michael asked.
“No,” Brian told him, his jaw was tense just like the rest of his body.
“Have you seen Justin?” Emmett asked.
Brian shook his head as he got up. He reached inside his pockets and dropped some money in the table.
“Where are you going?” Michael shouted after him.
“None of your business,” Brian shot back.
“Wow,” Emmett sat where Brian had been sitting. “What’s with him?”
Michael shrugged. “I have no clue.”
“Hello, boys,” Debbie said smiling. “What can I get you?”
“What’s with Brian?” Emmett asked.
“I don’t believe that’s on the menu,” Debbie smiled. “I have worked long enough here to know.”
“Oh, come on,” Emmett smiled.
Debbie pouted and smiled. “He and Justin are just...not talking, I guess.”
“Uh,” Emmett said. “It had to be something like that.”
“They are not together,” Michael pointed out.
“They looked pretty cozy each time they went out,” Emmett said.
“Just stop it,” Michael said getting up angry. He shook his head as he made his way out of the diner.
“What is with everyone?” Emmett asked and raised a brow. “What are you feeding them?”
Debbie laughed and squeezed the man’s cheek. She didn’t know what was going to happen with Michael if Brian and Justin ever admitted to being together. “You are so funny.”
“I know,” Emmett told her. “Let me have a salad and cranberry juice, please.”
Debbie nodded and went to place in the order. Emmett stayed at the table smiling, thinking about Brian and Justin and Michael. He didn’t know what would happen, but it surely was going to be interesting.
***
There's such a small thin line
Between pleasure and pain
Brian walked to the door and opened. He came face to face with Justin. “Where the fuck have you been?”
Justin just stared at Brian for a long time. He didn’t know why he hadn’t come to the brunet before...in the first place. “Can I come in?”
Brian stepped to the side. He closed his eyes as Justin’s right shoulder brushed against his chest. It made the blond real and really placed him there at that minute. Justin went straight towards the bedroom but never made it there. Brian turned him around roughly and pushed him down.
“What the fuck happened to you?” Brian asked angrily. “You just fucking disappeared and then you think you can just come here whenever you want to?”
Justin looked up for a moment, nothing made sense, then he just nodded and tried to get up, but the pain in his lower back didn’t let him.
“Justin,” Brian said as he kneeled in front of the blond.
“I’ll just leave, Brian,” Justin said trying to get away.
“I want to know where you were!” Brian yelled.
“It’s none of your fucking business,” Justin told him. “What do you care?”
Brian pushed him back hard. Justin hit the steps once again. He groaned as the pain rushed around his body. But he wasn’t pulling back. He pushed back, angry and scared and horny. Brian didn’t stop to ask the blond if he was okay. He just grabbed Justin by the back of the neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Justin’s hand immediately unbuttoned Brian’s jeans. His hands roamed Brian’s naked chest.
“Turn around,” Brian growled.
“No,” Justin told him. “No!”
Brian licked his lips and he pushed Justin on the side and started to take of his clothes. They were being rough. Justin kept scratching Brian and biting him whenever he could. The sharp edge of the steps was digging into his skin but he didn’t care as long as Brian kept kissing him.
“God,” Brian muttered as he reached inside his pockets for a condom.
“Fuck me,” Justin told him.
Brian kissed him hard and took Justin’s shirt away as well. Justin was naked and at Brian’s mercy. He could feel so much pain on his back but he would worry about that later. After Brian put the condom on, the blond wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist. Brian positioned himself and pushed inside.
“Fuck!” Justin tensed and closed his eyes. He relaxed quickly as Brian’s hands touch him everywhere.
Brian’s fingers buried themselves on Justin’s hips. The blond screamed in pain as he felt Brian scratching his skin. There were going to be blood and bruises all over his skin. Brian bit him hard, he was so mad at the blond and yet so fucking relieved that he was there and okay.
“Fuck,” Justin yelled as Brian pounded into him. He needed to feel Brian all around him. His eyes opened to watch Brian and saw that the brunet was in another world.
Brian stared at the blond and grabbed him hard by the shoulders. He just wasn’t going to let him go.
“Hurt me,” Justin moaned, his breath heating Brian’s face.
Brian closed his eyes and let all control he had just slip away. Justin screamed and trashed as Brian fucked him. He knew that he would be sore, his mind knew that but he just didn’t care at the moment.
“Fuck,” Brian grunted as he climaxed.
Justin arched against him and splashed his cum in between them. They are both breathing hard and aching; Brian wasn’t so badly hurt though. Their bodies were dripping with sweat and they can’t stop touching and just looking at each other.
Justin smiled first. “I’ve never thought of doing it on the stairs always seemed kind of uncomfortable.”
“Mmm mph,” Brian just made a sound as he pulled back. He got up and took the condom off. He could feel his back aching. The outside of his thighs where Justin dug his nails was sensitive as well.
Justin sat up and groaned. “Fuck.”
“You okay?” Brian asked.
Justin nodded and looked up at Brian. “I missed you.”
Brian looked away and didn’t move.
“Brian,” Justin sighed as he got up. “I’m sorry, okay. I just needed time. I didn’t mean to just disappear like that. I never...had to give explanations to anyone before.”
“Sorry it’s bullshit,” Brian said.
“Yeah,” Justin said licking his upper lip. “I forgot that it is.”
“It’s your life so you don’t need to give me any explanations,” Brian pointed out as he walked to the kitchen. He threw the used condom on the trash and went to get a bottle of water. “We are not a couple, so don’t worry about it.”
“Yeah,” Justin could feel his body throbbing. It hurt; not as much as not having Brian close all that time. “I’m gong to stay here tonight if that’s okay with you.”
“Do whatever you want,” Brian told him walking to the bedroom. He was just glad that Justin was okay.
Justin followed him. He caught up to Brian and kissed him on the shoulder. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Brian asked as he turned around to look at the blond. He couldn’t help it; he just had to hold Justin in his arms.
Justin grabbed the bottle away from Brian and smiled. “Being such a great fuck,” he knew that if he said something else Brian would just feel trapped. He knew if he had said something else he would have probably regretted it as well.
“Right,” Brian laughed and arched a brow. “What other places you haven’t done it yet?”
“I’m thinking…the roof,” Justin told him.
Brian thought about it while Justin just ran his hands all around him. But then he stopped and looked at the blond, really looked at him. “Where were you?” Brian asked and Justin looked away. “Look at me.”
Justin raised his head and a tear ran down.
Brian sighed and pulled him closer. “What happen?”
“I had a fight with my father,” Justin said. “He said...he wished I had died.”
Brian got tense and held on tighter to Justin. “Why didn’t you come here?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to be alone, I guess,” Justin told him. “I...I’m here now.”
“Yeah,” Brian muttered. “You are.”
***
Now, I should not bitch and moan but there's not much I can do
When you're hangin' by a thread and I'm hangin' on to you
“Grab the wine!” Justin shouted as he rushed out of the shower.
“You grab it!” Brian shouted as he grabbed the duvet from the bed. “I took it out.”
Justin looked at Brian and laughed. “Are we really doing this?”
Brian walked to the door.
“Brian!” Justin shouted. “You don’t have any clothes on,” he laughed and went to the counter. He grabbed the wine that Brian had put there and he opened it. Then like Brian had done he walked outside the loft naked.
“Hurry up,” Brian told him from the top of the stairs.
“I’m coming,” Justin said.
“Oh, you will,” Brian assured him as he pushed the door open and stepped onto the roof of the building.
“Jeez,” Justin said taking a sip from the wine straight from the bottle.
“Where are the glasses?” Brian asked.
Justin shrugged and moved closer to the brunet. He pushed the bottle into Brian’s chest and ran away.
“Where are you going?” Brian asked.
“Oh my god!” Justin laughed as he ran around naked to the edge. “I can see the people crossing the street.”
“Someone is going to see us,” Brian hissed. “Come here.”
Justin threw his head back and laughed. He ran over to Brian and grabbed the bottle of wine the brunet had in his hand. “This is so good.”
Brian nodded and pulled Justin close. He started to lick Justin’s neck while the blond swallowed the sweet liquid.
“That feels funny,” Justin told him. He chuckled and caressed Brian’s face. “Fuck me.”
Brian laughed and pulled him closer. He kissed Justin’s jaw and then moved the bottle away so he could kiss the blond’s lips.
“Anyone could come at any minute,” Justin chuckled. “That would be something.”
Brian dropped the duvet on the roof. He opened it and smiled at Justin. “This is going to be one to remember.”
Justin quickly lay on it. “Come here, lover boy,” Justin said pouring the wine on himself.
“Justin,” Brian growled. “That’s a two hundred dollar duvet.”
Justin looked at it and shrugged. “Come lick it off me.”
Brian got on his kneels and then straddled the blond. Justin pulled Brian’s hips towards him. They rubbed against each other. Justin knew that Brian had the condom in his hand since he could feel the edge of the condom wrapper rubbing against his skin.
“Just fuck me, please,” Justin told him.
Brian opened the condom with his mouth and put it on. He took a sip of wine and then grabbed Justin’s leg putting them onto his shoulders. He stared at Justin’s face as he pushed inside the wrinkled bud.
“Fuck!” Justin hissed.
Brian started to move his hips slowly. He wanted it to last for quite a while.
“Umm, Brian,” Justin said.
“What?” Brian asked his hips never stopping.
“I think...that’s water,” Justin told him.
“What are you talking about?” Brian asked out of breath.
“It’s raining,” Justin said.
“Shit,” Brian said as he stopped. It hadn’t been such a good idea after all.
Justin laughed. “I so totally have never done this before.”
Brian arched a brow.
“Keep moving,” Justin told him. “You are not made out of paper, you know.”
Brian threw his head back and closed his eyes as rain fell on him. He looked at Justin and smiled. He kissed him on the lips and shook his head. “We are going to get pneumonia.”
“And die,” Justin laughed. “But what a way to go, don’t you think? Just fuck me.”
Brian started to move his hips once again. The water was cold but being inside of Justin was more important. He always did say he was going to die fucking.
“Bri,” Justin muttered as Brian fucked him.
Brian closed his eyes and all he could picture was Justin...the blond laughing so beautiful, the blond sticking his tongue out at him. He could see Justin concentrating really hard as he stared at a blank canvas or just staring blankly while looking at his drawings. When he opened his eyes, Justin was all he could see and that was pretty scary.
Justin grabbed Brian’s neck and smiled as the water just covered them. He never thought he would feel like he did for Brian. He cared for the man. He cared deeply. He always got to do things he never did before, with the brunet and in some aspect it scared him shitless.
“Kiss me,” Justin breathed.
Brian kissed him on the lips, a gentle kiss. Then another and another until the kisses changed and he was ravishing Justin’s mouth.
“That’s it,” Justin muttered and he groaned when his orgasm hit him. Then his senses were back to normal. He could feel the cold rain hitting his face. Then he heard Brian grunting and moaning, still moving.
Justin caressed Brian’s face and just watched the man on top of him. He did all he could to give Brian more pleasure and it was just perfect. Brian gripped Justin’s thighs and his cum filled the condom.
“You looked so beautiful,” Justin told him.
Brian opened his eyes. “What?”
“Never mind,” Justin smiled and opened his mouth sticking his tongue out.
Brian looked at him and laughed. Justin looked like a kid.
“What?” Justin asked as he stared at Brian.
“We have to go,” Brian said and pulled out of Justin.
Justin sat up and grabbed the bottle of wine. “Okay. We can continue this at the loft.”
Brian nodded as he grabbed the duvet. “Jesus, this is ruined.”
Justin laughed. “But, oh my god,” he walked over to Brian and kissed him. “I think it was worth it.”
“Yeah,” Brian agreed and then pulled away from Justin’s enchanting look. “Let’s go.”
Justin walked to the door on the roof. “Oh my god. It’s locked!”
Brian looked panic. He ran over to the door and opened the door with no trouble. Then he looked at Justin who was chuckling.
“You’re just too easy”! Justin told him.
Brian slapped him on the butt. “Get inside.”
“Okay,” Justin took one last look at the sky and ran inside.
Brian did the same. He looked up at the sky and knew he couldn’t see any kind of stars but he didn’t needed that. He had Justin and that was enough brightness.
“Come on,” Justin yelled from inside the loft. “We need to warm up.”
Brian found Justin in the bathroom. He kissed the blond and then they both jumped in the shower.
“I’ve never done that, Brian,” Justin laughed. “It was fucking insane.”
Brian nodded his agreement. He took the soap and then started to bathe Justin. Justin just let him. He stared at the tiled wall as he felt Brian’s hand roaming his body. No one had ever bathed him either. He smiled as he noticed the care in which Brian touched him. It was smooth but firm, it was driving him crazy.
“Have you ever done this before?” Justin asked.
“Take a bath?” Brian asked him.
“With someone,” Justin said.
Brian stopped and stared at Justin’s back. Justin turned around and didn’t say anything. He knew he had asked the wrong question.
“I think we should get out of here before we turn into prunes,” Justin said as he let the water hit his body and quickly got out. He took one of the towers and dried himself. After that, he got on the bed and waited.
When Brian came outside Justin was on his back with his eyes close. “Justin,” he waited but the blond didn’t move. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t know what the fuck had happened but it wasn’t good. He moved closer to the blond and just lay next to him. “Goodnight.”
Justin rolled towards the brunet. He let his hand fall on top of Brian’s chest and just stayed very still. Pretending like he was already asleep.
“Jus,” Brian whispered. “You changed me,” he kept his voice really low.
Justin was straining to hear what the brunet was saying.
“Now you keep me going, Jus,” Brian muttered to the blond sleeping in his arms. “For some reason, I need you,” he sighed and stared at the ceiling.
Justin couldn’t believe what the brunet had just said. Then he felt Brian move away and then stop. He wondered what the hell Brian was doing.
Brian looked at the cordless phone in his hand and dialed Jennifer’s number. “Justin came here tonight.”
“Thank god,” Jennifer told him. “Can I speak to him?”
“He’s sleeping,” Brian told her.
Jennifer sighed.
“He’s okay,” Brian assured her. “I really don’t want to wake him up.”
“I understand,” Jennifer told him. “Can you please, make him call me,” she was so happy that Justin was okay.
“Fine,” Brian was about to hung up when she spoke.
“Thank you,” Jennifer told him.
“I didn’t do anything,” Brian assured her.
“He came back to you,” Jennifer said.
Brian sighed as he hung up and put the phone back in is cradle. He looked at Justin and then closed his eyes.
Justin opened his eyes and thought about what Brian just had said and done. Then he closed them again holding on to the man he had come to depend on as well.