Brian smiled at Justin when the blond opened the door. But he could see that Justin was in a mood. He didn’t know how he was going to tell the blond then that they had to stop seeing each other. It was just wrong and things would end up badly for everyone if they kept seeing each other. At least that’s what Brian kept telling himself to convince himself of what he was about to do. “I’m busy,” Justin said leaving the door open and walking towards his room. Brian frowned as he closed the door and then followed the blond. He’s interest was piqued. “So, what are you doing?” Brian asked seeing that Justin’s clothes were all over the bed. “I’m packing,” Justin told him as if Brian was dumb. “Right,” Brian said and rolled his lips inside his mouth. “Where are you going?” “I am going to see my grandmother for a few days,” Justin told him. “She’s sick. Molly told me that she was getting worse. That’s why she’s been staying with her these past couple of weeks. I have to go and help her a bit,” he whispered. Brian nodded slowly. He knew that the little boy was around and Justin probably didn’t want Evan hearing him. Now he stood there knowing that he couldn’t break up with Justin then. The younger man had enough shit going on to add to it. “Brian,” Evan said smiling. The boy had met the brunet a few days ago in one of Brian’s many ‘visits’ to his neighbor. They even had stayed up late one night watching a movie. “I going to visit my grandmother, so we’re not going to be able to see the movies we were going to get.” “That’s okay,” Brian informed him. He had promised the boy he would take him out to eat pizza and then grab a few movies to see back home. “We can do it some other time, sport.” Justin looked at his little brother and frowned. “Did you finish packing?” “Yes,” Evan answered. “I’m hungry.” “It’s a family thing,” Brian said smirking trying to make the blond smile but that didn’t work. Justin sighed and rubbed his face. “We’ll get something on the way. Go double check and make sure you didn’t leave anything. We’re not turning around, Evan.” Evan rolled his eyes and went back. He was happy that Brian was there, the brunet always made him laugh. Brian arched a brow. He’d never seen Justin so edgy. “Jus, what’s wrong?” Justin gripped the shirt he had currently on his hands. He sat down and shook his head. “I’m tired of this shit.” Brian went and sat next to him. “The people I love always leave me,” Justin said so full of sorrow that would have made anyone feel the pain intensely. “Molly says that grandma doesn’t have much time left. She’s dying soon.” Brian put an arm around Justin hating the fact that his lover was hurting. He pulled Justin’s close to him and then without thinking he kissed him. Justin let himself be pulled for a few seconds before he moved away and got up quickly. “Brian,” Justin protested with very little energy. “Evan is around.” Brian cleared his throat and got up as well. “Sorry," he whispered. “What are you doing here, anyway?” Justin asked. Brian swallowed hard. He stared at the blond and all he wanted to do was kiss him and fuck him. He wanted to take Justin’s pain away. He cleared his throat. “It wasn’t anything important,” he said. Justin knew that Brian was lying to him. There was something on the brunet’s mind. Brian shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, really,” he said when he saw that Justin wasn’t buying it. Justin frowned but he didn’t have the time to find out. He had to finish packing his things. Then he had to drive to his grandma’s house. “So, do you want me to go with you?” Brian asked and after he did he thought that he had lost his mind. Justin looked at Brian’s face. “What?” “You heard me,” Brian told him. He didn’t know what he was doing but he knew that Justin needed him. And most importantly he wanted to be there for him. Justin arched a brow. Of course he wanted that more than anything. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems, Bri. Plus what are you going to tell Michael?” Brian cringed a bit. “Fuck Michael,” he whispered more to himself than to Justin. He walked closer to the blond and put his arms around Justin’s waist. He put his forehead against Justin’s. “I want to go.” “We’ll be gone for almost a week, who knows if more,” Justin said. “I don’t care,” Brian pointed out. “I’m done,” Evan said. “Again!” Brian grinned and pulled away from Justin. He looked at the boy and thought the two brothers were copies of each other. It was uncanny. “I’m going to go pack.” “You’re coming with us?” Evan asked. “Yes,” Brian answered before Justin had anything to say. Justin bit his lower lip. He was scared of what it all meant. “Yay! This is so great,” Evan celebrated. “This is going to be so cool. Wait until you meet my sister and my grandmother. They are the coolest.” Brian went over to Justin and caressed his face. “Give me a few minutes.” Justin nodded in some kind of trance. Evan watched them and frowned a bit. He was sure that there was something bad happening. He looked at the way Brian touched his brother and wondered about it. He would ask his sister about it later. As Brian walked out of Justin’s apartment he knew that breaking things with Justin wasn’t going to be easy now or ever. He was sure he loved the blond and when he finally did it, it would reap a piece of his heart. Still he couldn’t understand if he knew all that, why he would do something to push Justin away. Simply because he didn’t want to hurt Michael; he promised he wouldn’t do that ever again. *** “Why are we stopping?” Brian asked. “To get some food,” Justin told him. “I’m starving,” Evan pointed out. “He ate like two hours ago,” Brian pointed out. Justin shrugged, he could eat too. Evan turned off his videogame and threw it next to him. Then he unlocked his seatbelt and waited for the car to stop. “What have I told you?” Justin asked as he looked through the rearview mirror. “You have to wait until we stop to take it off.” Evan rolled his eyes and as soon as Justin parked the car he started bugging Brian to open his door. Brian smiled as he got out and let the young blond out of the car. “Come on Brian,” Evan said already marching to the building. Justin made sure he had money on him before he followed Brian and his brother. They went inside the rest stop and decided to go to Popeye’s. They ordered and sat down to eat. “Brian, are you and my brother boyfriends?” Evan asked. Justin grabbed his soda and started sucking on it so he didn’t have to answer. Brian arched his brows and looked pretty scared as he stared at Evan. He looked at Justin slowly and then back at the kid. “So?” Evan asked. “We’re friends,” Justin said to his little brother. “Hurry up,” he said looking at his watch. “We have to go. I don’t want to arrive too late.” Evan nodded and finished eating his food. Brian didn’t even touch his while Justin lost his appetite half of the way. The brunet got up and took everyone’s tray. Then he went to the bathroom. He washed his face a couple of times trying to relax. When he came back Justin and Evan had left. He walked to where they had parked the car and the blonds were already inside waiting for him. “If you need me to drive let me know,” Brian said knowing it was a long drive from Pittsburgh to Canada. He had asked Justin why he hadn’t taken a flight and the blond said he didn’t like planes. “It's okay,” Justin told him as he hit reverse. In a few more minutes they were back on course. Sometime along the way Evan fell asleep. Justin was tired but he was pushing himself to stay awake. He kept his eyes on the road and his mind away from anything that had to do with the brunet. Each time he thought of Brian his heart beat with happiness, but there was something nagging him. He knew that things weren’t as great as he thought. He didn’t even know why he had let Brian come. Everything was such a mess since he had met the man. “Stop here,” Brian told him. “What?” Justin asked. “I’ll drive,” Brian told him. “You’re tired.” Justin frowned but stopped anyway. He got out and went to the front of the car where he met up with Brian. The brunet pulled him close and they shared a long, slow, heated kiss. Then Brian let go of him and got in the driver’s seat. It was around one in the morning when they arrived at their destination. “God,” Brian said as he got out and stretched. He was feeling very sore. Justin opened the trunk and started unloading their things. Evan had woken up before they arrived and was now heading towards the house. Brian helped the blond get their things and then went to the house. Justin had his own key and opened the door. “Guys?” Molly said walking over to them. “What are you doing up?” Justin asked. “I was waiting for you,” Molly informed him. She looked at Brian wondering who he was. “This is my friend Brian, Bri this is my sister, Molly,” Justin introduced them. “It’s nice to meet you,” Brian told her. Evan grabbed his things and headed upstairs. “How is grandma?” Justin asked as the three adults walked to the kitchen. “She’s not okay,” Molly said sighing. “She’s losing her sight as well.” “Shit,” Justin cursed as he sat down in the small kitchen table. Brian sat next to him while Molly leaned against the kitchen island. She crossed her arms and looked at Justin with a sad expression. “I don’t know what to do,” Molly told him. “She can barely get up from the bed and sometimes she forgets where she is or who I am .” Justin rubbed his face and threw his head back. “I’m thinking of staying here until…” Molly straightened up and walked to the fridge. “I need alcohol, want some?” “Sure,” Justin told her. She pulled out three beers and gave one to each of the men and one for herself. She didn’t want to think that her grandmother wouldn’t be there any longer. “You’re thinking the worse already,” Justin pointed out seeing her face and then took a sip of his beer. “I’m being realistic,” Molly pointed out. Justin got up and started pacing. He drank some more from his beer thinking about what was happening in his life, it was not fair. Brian leaned back and watched brother and sister. “I need you to do me a favor thought,” Molly said. “What’s that?” Justin asked. “I can’t take care of grandma and Evan at the same time,” Molly explained. Justin threw his head back and thought about what she was saying. He looked at her and nodded. “I’ll take care of him,” he said as he put the half empty beer on the counter. “We’ll talk about this later. Come on, Brian.” Brian got up, quickly drinking his beer before he put the empty bottle next to Justin’s. They went to the foyer and grabbed their things. “It’s through here,” Justin said after they had gone up the stairs. The blond saw Evan sleeping in his bed. The kid hadn’t even bothered to take off his clothes. Justin smiled as he entered the room. He put his bags down while he tucked his brother in. Then he grabbed his things and headed out closing the door. When they were inside his quarters Justin closed and locked the door. He put his things down and kept silent as he started to unpack. Brian only grabbed a few things and asked Justin where the shower was. Justin took him and then went down to see his grandmother. When he left her bedroom Molly was waiting for him. “What do you want?” Justin asked stretching. “Are you going out with him?” Molly asked smiling. “No,” Justin told her. “Drop it.” “Why?” Molly asked. “He’s gorgeous, Justin.” “I don’t want to talk about it,” Justin told her irritated. “Brian is just a friend. He’s no one that you have to worry about.” Molly rolled her eyes. She knew her brother better than that. Justin moved to the kitchen to get something to eat. Brian who was at the top of the stairs waited a few seconds before he went back to the bedroom. He had come out to go get his towel because he had forgotten it. Then he had heard Molly and Justin talking. He was so angry that Justin though of them of nothing but then he got angry with himself because it was the truth. *** The guys had stayed about a week at Sarah’s house, the grandmother, and Justin wasn’t feeling any better. He had to go back home soon because he had work to do before he fell behind and so did Brian. “Evan, go to sleep,” Justin said as he sat at the edge of his bed. “Why?” Evan asked. “I’m not tired.” Brian shook his head. They had been up by nine and gone out. Molly and Sarah, who had been feeling up to it, had gone with them. They had bought a few things for Molly and Sarah to last them for a whole month. Justin had said he would be back from time to time to check on them. Sarah seemed to be lucid enough but she had to be taken in her wheelchair. She had been smiling the whole time with Evan’s anecdotes. The woman had said she was happy that Justin had found someone and this time Justin didn’t bother to correct her; Brian didn’t complain either. “I’m tired,” Justin informed him. “You just want to make out with him,” Evan pointed out with a big smile. Brian didn’t even know what to say. Justin glared at Evan. “Go!” he said as he pointed towards the door. “I’ve seen you,” Evan pointed out as he got up. “So don’t lie to me. You two are together.” “Leave!” Justin shouted. Evan laughed and left closing the bedroom door behind him. “Jesus,” Justin whispered. Brian chuckled as he shook his head. “You two are hilarious.” “Shut up,” Justin said as he turned around in bed. He kneeled in front of the brunet and smiled wickedly. Brian smiled and got up. He went and locked the door before he went towards the blond again. He kneeled behind Justin. “I’ve been waiting for this all day.” Justin smiled as his eyes closed. Brian’s tongue was doing wonders to his skin. The brunet pushed Justin forwards and got rid of Justin’s jeans. He was happy to find that the blond didn’t have any underwear on. Now he had Justin completely naked on the bed to do what he wanted. “Come on,” Justin said when Brian took too long to do anything. “Eager, are we?” Brian asked as he started to unbutton his sleeveless shirt. He threw it to the side and then moved on to his jeans. The truth was that he didn’t want to wait any longer; he needed to be inside the blond at that moment. “We have to be quiet,” Justin whispered. “You tell yourself that,” Brian pointed out. He grabbed Justin’s head and pulled it back so he could kiss the blond. They moaned and Brian rubbed against the blond. Justin pulled away and got the lube and the condoms. He opened one and put it on Brian before he lubed the man’s covered cock. Brian pulled Justin by the legs and turned him around. He kissed Justin’s back as well as bit him. The blond was wiggling around yearning for the older man. “So tight,” Brian groaned as he pushed a lube finger inside the fair man. “Yes,” Justin hissed and his hips arched up. He gripped the covers under him and his body started moving back and forward. “Easy,” Brian murmured as he finger fucked the blond, slowly adding another and another. “Fuck me,” Justin gasped when he couldn’t take it anymore. Brian had his prostate on fire. Brian pulled his fingers away and pushed inside the tight cavern. He closed his eyes and felt everything fading away. Nothing mattered but the blond in his arms. Their bodies moved together to reach maximum pleasure. “Oh fuck,” Justin hissed and bit his lower lips. Brian was hitting him with wave after wave of intense pleasure. He let his shoulders hit the bed, giving Brian a better angle to thrust into him. Brian gripped Justin’s hips hard as he pushed inside the blond. He threw his head back and groaned. He was so close to spilling his juices. He growled when the blond started to squeeze him. One of his hands grabbed hold of Justin’s cock. Justin’s body arched up as he hit nirvana. He heard Brian’s deep throated groan and soon Brian’s body was crushing him. He didn’t want to move from that spot and he wanted Brian to stay inside of him forever but that didn’t happen. “That was great,” Brian growled in Justin’s ear. Slowly he pulled out of the blond; he wished he could stay inside Justin. Justin smiled and turned around slowly. He watched the brunet getting rid of the used condom and then jumping into his jeans. The brunet moved towards the blond and lay next to him. “You know if you want to leave you can,” Justin told him. Brian shrugged and kissed Justin’s shoulder. “I’m right where I want to be.” Justin’s smile fainted a bit. He sighed and sat up bending his knees close to his chest. “What’s wrong?” Brian asked turning his head to look at Justin’s back. “Just thinking,” Justin responded. He wished he didn’t have to think about Michael at moments like that. It always ruined his good mood. Brian kneeled so he could look at Justin. “What is it?” “This is so wrong, Brian,” Justin told him. “I…I don’t want to ever let you go.” Brian looked down at his knees. He frowned not sure what to tell Justin. “I wish things were different,” the blond said. “I know,” Brian replied. He caressed Justin’s face. He wished the same thing. “Do you love Michael?” Justin asked. Brian nodded slowly. There was no hesitation in his mind and heart that he did love his best friend. The question was what kind of love he had for Michael. But for him something like that was not easy to define and yet he knew the loved the two men differently. Justin bit is lower lip. “Okay.” “Why did you have to ask me that?” Brian sighed and got off the bed. He started pacing the room like a cage animal. He didn’t want to think about the face Justin had made. It made him angry to see Justin frowning to hide away sadness. He knew that his answer had affected Justin. “I don’t know,” Justin said in a quiet voice. “I was curious, I guess.” Brian scoffed and got inside the bed once again. “I love you.” Justin stared into Brian’s eyes and knew it was the truth. “How can you?” he asked so confused. Brian didn’t understood what Justin meant. He kept staring at the blond. “How can you love both of us?” Justin asked. It couldn’t be true that a person could be in love with two different people at the same time. Not ever. It could be different kinds of love, maybe even selfishness or maybe not love at all for no one. It was just the opportunity to get the better of two different worlds; so many possible variables but not that one of being in love with the two. Justin wouldn’t accept it. He didn’t want to accept it. “I don’t know,” Brian told him. “I’m just a thing to you,” Justin pointed out. He knew that Michael and Brian had been together almost a life time. How he could come between that, he wondered. “Soon you will get bored and I’ll be history.” “That’s not true,” Brian protested. “I need you Justin.” “How could you know for sure?” Justin asked angrily. “You don’t know what you want.” Brian stayed silent for a few seconds. Then he pulled Justin into his arms. He kissed the blond on the forehead and moved his head to whisper in Justin’s ear. “I need you because I’m just not right when you’re not next to me.” Justin couldn’t do anything but melt into his lover’s arms. *** Brian kissed Justin one last time before he really left Justin’s loft. They had been back two days ago but Brian had stayed there. He got to his loft and put his carry on next to the door while he searched for his keys. When he was inside he locked and set up the alarm system. “Brian,” Michael said. Brian jumped a bit startled. “Jesus fuck, Michael!” he hadn’t expected the man to be there. “Did you just get back from your trip?” Michael asked. He hated when Brian had to take trips to do business. He had missed the brunet so much. “What do you think?” Brian asked. “What are you doing here?” “I was waiting for you,” Michael told him. “I’ve been here the last three days.” Brian shook his head as he grabbed his things and went to the bedroom. The dirty clothes went to the hamper while the things he didn’t use went back to the closet. Michael watched him in silence. “You don’t have your suits,” Michael pointed out. “What?” Brian asked as he turned to look at his boyfriend. “Your suits,” Michael repeated. “Oh,” Brian said. “I stopped by the dry cleaners to leave them there.” “We need to talk,” Michael told him. Brian stared at Michael not sure what was going to happen. He wondered if his boyfriend knew the truth. “Look I know that there are certain things about you that you can’t change,” Michael started. Brian used his tongue in cheek expression and kept quiet. “And I’m okay with that,” Michael told him. “I love you, Brian.” Brian swallowed and still kept quiet. “These past days I was thinking that we don’t spend too much time together. I’m okay with that. You have to work and then there are business trips. I can live with that. I just thought of a way to fix it,” Michael said. “Oh,” Brian said moving closer to Michael. “What do you propose?” “I think that we should move in together,” Michael said. “It would be perfect. Don’t you think?” Brian wanted to die. “I’m okay with you tricking so that won’t be a problem. Well, as long as you don’t bring them here,” Michael informed him and walked closer to the brunet. “I know you so well, Brian. We’re meant to be together and I think is time we moved in together.” Brian closed his eyes when he felt Michael kissing him on the neck. “I want to be with you,” Michael said. “I was so worried because you didn’t call. I can’t live without you.” Brian wrapped his arms around his partner. “Okay,” he whispered. “It’s going to be great,” Michael said happily. “I thought you wouldn’t want to. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Aren’t you excited?” Brian nodded a bit before he moved to the bathroom while Michael went to call everyone. The brunet stared at himself in the mirror. He was so lost. His life was so screwed up and he had let it get to that; it was his fault. He wished he could take it all back but that would only hurt Michael and he couldn’t do that. First, he hadn’t been able to break up with Justin and now he couldn’t say no to Michael, he was so messed up.