THIRTY SIX The next morning, Haldir had risen early and strolled leisurely down to the river to bathe. Feeling refreshed upon his return, he decided to exercise before starting breakfast. He filled two large buckets with water and balanced them on the ends of a thick, long pole and lifted them from the ground up over his head for fifty turns. As he set them down, he turned to see Galadriel smiling thoughtfully at him. He smiled in return and bowed before her. *“Quel amrun, Arwenamin.”* [good morning, my lady] *“Quel amrun,”* Galadriel replied in her usually soft voice. “Forgive my intrusion on your quiet time, but I could not help marevelling at how much you have grown and how far you have come. The years have been kind to you, Haldir. It seems it was only yesterday that you were a young Elf caring for two even younger ones.” Haldir grinned. “That is does, my Lady.* Hannon lle.”* [thank you] “Perhaps I shall stop in on your brothers also as I continue my stroll. It is such a lovely morning,” Galadriel mused. Haldir smiled. “You may find Orophin awake, but I am afraid Rumil is most likely still at slumber. It has long been his way unless prompted.” Galadriel chuckled. “As a child we were hard pressed to get him to sleep at all.” Haldir nodded. “For which he made up for ever since. However his slothful days are numbered. Now that he is of the Galadhrim, he will need to rise with the call of the birds.” Galadriel smiled and nodded in agreement. “My Lady, might I ask something of you?” Haldir said after a pause. “Of course,” Galadriel replied, aware now of Siddhir’s presence on the landing above them even though she could not actually see him. “I was wondering if it might now be a better time for Siddhir and I to bind? It has been a while since we last spoke of it.” Galadriel hesitated as Siddhir’s pleading voice resounded in her head. She understood Siddhir’s position, but at the same time she did not relish the thought of lying to Haldir. She decided on a measured response. “I will look into it again. I promise you.” Haldir smiled. “That is all I ask. Thank you, my Lady.” Galadriel tilted her regal head. “You are most welcome. I will be going along now. Enjoy your day.” Haldir bowed. “You as well, my Lady.” Haldir watched as she slipped off down the path that would lead to his brother’s talan. He smiled to himself knowing that they would be in for a big surprise with her visit, and he would wager a month’s stipends that their talan was in complete and utter disarray now that he was no longer there to clean up after them. Even though they had both come of age, their proclivities towards tidiness had yet to improve. He stifled a chuckle, lifted one of the water buckets and started up the ladder to his talan. He did not see the frown on Siddhir’s face as he slipped quietly back inside above him. ************************************* *“Quel amrun,* [good morning] sentinel.” Elviondel turned to look up at Melpomaen’s smiling face as he stood on the landing of one of the guest talans gazing down at him. *“Quel amrun,”* he replied politely. “Might you know when breakfast will be served? I am quite ravenous.” “I am certain it is presently being served in the common,” Elviondel answered, eyeing him curiously. “That is wonderful. Would you be on your way there?” Melpomaen inquired. “I would.” “Might I accompany you? I have not quite learned the correct path to take and I fear I may become lost.” “Is that so? I would have thought you knew the woods better by now. After all you have been here several times,” Elviondel replied. “No matter. You are quite welcome to accompany me.” *“Diola lle,* [thank you] Melpomaen returned with a wide grin. Elviondel waited while he descended from the guest talan wondering what the dark Elf was up to, because he was certain he knew the way. He nodded kindly when Melpomaen joined him, and together they set out for the common. **************************** Haldir entered the talan and set the bucket of water by the side of the door. He smiled to himself while considering what to make for breakfast, and went about making the preparations. Thinking Siddhir was still sleeping, he worked quietly. After several minutes he started when Siddhir cleared his throat behind him. “I did not know-” he started, and stopped cold upon seeing the disapproving look on his lover’s face. He also noted that he was fully dressed. “Siddhir, what is amiss?” “Do you think me to be a liar?” Siddhir asked in a cold voice. Haldir blinked. “What?” Siddhir’s dark eyes were blazing. “Do you wish me to repeat the question?” “No. I wish you to *explain* the question. I know not what you mean by it,” Haldir replied uncertainly. “I *told* you that our Lady would inform *us* when the time was right. Why did you go behind my back and ask her *again?”* Haldir’s features twisted into an expression of sheer bewilderment. “I did *not* go behind your back. She was here and we were talking and I simply *asked* her. What is so wrong with that?” “If you have no trust in me Haldir, then perhaps it is best we part ways before we go far enough to be bound.” *“What?* Siddhir, what are you saying?” “Am I speaking in *riddles?* Forget it. I am going out,” Siddhir responded flatly, turning sharply on his heels and heading for the door. Haldir moved quickly, blocking his exit and grabbing him by the shoulders. *“Why are you so angry with me? Why? What have I done? Tell me!”* “Release me, Haldir,” Siddhir warned. “I will not. You will tell me what is wrong with you, and you will tell me now,” Haldir warned, his voice deepening as he tightened his grip on Siddhir’s shoulders. *“Release me!”* Siddhir yelled, pushing violently against him. “No,” Haldir said quietly. Both were unaware of soft knocking on the door behind them. Siddhir suddenly relaxed his muscles. Feeling this, Haldir loosened his grip- only to have Siddhir rear back and hit him square in the jaw. Shocked and completely surprised, Haldir staggered back, hit the wall behind him- and fell to the floor. Siddhir immediately moved towards the door, but Haldir swept one leg around and tripped him. “I will not give you what you want, Siddhir. I will not fight with you,” Haldir uttered through clenched teeth, ignoring the searing pain in his jaw. “What I *want*- is to leave,” Siddhir spat back, picking himself up again. The door flew open behind them and Orophin ran into the room. *“Daro! N’uma ner!* [Stop! No more!] What is wrong with you both? Have you gone *mad?”* Haldir pulled himself up as Siddhir froze momentarily looking into Orophin’s horrified eyes. “Why are you fighting?” Siddhir quickly reeled his anger back inside himself because it pained him to see Orophin so upset. “Worry not, Oro. We are not fighting. I was just leaving.” He took a last look at Haldir and walked out of the talan. Orophin watched him go and then turned back to Haldir, who was just standing there. “Brother, what *happened?”* “I have no idea,” Haldir replied unevenly as he met Orophin’s questioning eyes. His anger was gone now. All that was left was his initial confusion; and rapidly blossoming bruises. ********************************* Siddhir dropped to his knees at the riverbank and struggled to regain complete control of himself. He felt miserable and his heart ached for Haldir, but he had to keep his feelings in check. What he was doing was for the best. He had to estrange himself from him, and the sooner he did so would be for the better. The only thing he could think of was to make him angry- angry enough to perhaps lose some of his devotion to him. He knew it was going to be hard to do, but he had to try. His time was near. He could feel it every waking day, and his dreams confirmed it almost every night. His sorrow subsiding somewhat, he pulled himself up, ignoring the dampness on the knees of his leggings and walked slowly over to a stone bench. With a heavy sigh, he dashed the back of his sleeve across his eyes and folded down upon it, staring up at the sapphire blue sky. Several hours had passed before the sound of twigs snapping behind him brought him back from his reverie. “Captain?” Siddhir turned to him. “Good morning, sentinel.” Elviondel blinked. “Begging your pardon Captain, but it is no longer morning. In fact, it is mid-afternoon. Have you been sitting here this whole time? Many are out looking for you and Captain Haldir appears to be quite distressed.” “Elviondel, have you yet found anyone to share your talan?” Siddhir asked, ignoring his question. “No, Captain. I hadn’t really sought after anyone,” Elviondel replied hesitantly. “That is good. I would wish to share it with you again- if you don’t mind.” Elviondel’s eyes widened. “Of course not, Captain. Um, when would you like to come back?” “I am not certain. I would still have to gather my belongings. I will let you know.” “Very well,” the shocked sentinel replied with a bow. “Captain?” “Yes?” “What shall I tell those who are looking for you?” Siddhir’s ebony eyes bored into his. “I do not wish to be found.” Elviondel bit his lip. “I understand.” *“Hannon lle,”* [thank you] Siddhir replied. Elviondel edged closer to the bench, “Captain, is there anything I can do to assist you? I would be glad to lend an ear should you need it.” Siddhir forced himself to smile. “And have my troubles relived over the cooking fires? I think not.” Elviondel looked injured. “I would not do that, Captain.” Siddhir chuckled lightly. “I was jesting, my friend. I do appreciate your concern, but I am fine, so worry not. There is nothing you or anyone can do.” “I will leave you now. Unless… you wish me to stay.” Siddhir smiled again. “No, thank you. I wish to be alone.” Elviondel nodded, turned and walked away. After several minutes, Siddhir rose and drifted off into the wood. ********************************* “Where can he *be?* No one has seen him,” Orophin questioned. Haldir sighed. “When Siddhir makes up his mind to do something, one would sooner stop the tide. It is obvious he does not *wish* to be found.” “I think we should keep looking. Something is *wrong,* brother. I have *never* seen him like that before.” “Nor have I, Oro. We have had a few disagreements, although never like this. However, there is nothing I can do if he does not wish to speak with me,” Haldir replied. “Is he on duty today?” Orophin asked. “Nay, he is not. He has all day and night to lose himself, Haldir answered morosely. Orophin stopped and turned to him. “You wish to stop looking?” “No, not really, but I do not see the point. I doubt we will find him.” Orophin threw an arm about Haldir’s shoulders. *“Someone* will find him. I say we keep looking.” Haldir forced a smile and nodded to reassure Orophin, but something deep within told him that if they found Siddhir now, it would not be pleasant. ************************************ Siddhir moved cautiously through the wood, careful to be as quiet as he possibly could. As Elviondel has said, there were several elves looking for him. He sighed. He was not quite ready to face Haldir. The fact that there *were* so many looking for him told him that Haldir was not as angry as he had hoped. Distracted for a moment thinking of what else he could do about the situation, he stepped out from behind a Mallorn- and ran straight into Melpomaen. “That was quite painful,” Melpomaen remarked, rubbing his forehead. “Forgive me. I did not see you,” Siddhir apologized. “Obviously. Then I suppose you are more than aware how desperately you are being sought after.” Siddhir looked at him. “I am, and I do not wish to be found. Say nothing to anyone.” Melpomaen raised an eyebrow. “No one? Not even Haldir?” *“Especially* Haldir.” “Now *that* is certainly surprising. To hear Anarin speak, one would think you two were joined at the hip. Lover’s quarrel, perhaps?” Melpomaen queried. Anger flashed for a moment in Siddhir’s dark eyes. “About which you are immensely overjoyed I am sure.” Melpomaen feigned being hurt. “You wound me, Siddhir. What would make you say such a thing?” “I have no time for this. It is none of your concern, and I have to go now,” Siddhir muttered with a frown as he moved past him. “Why don’t you come with me to my guest talan? I am sure no one will think to look for you there,” Melpomaen suggested quickly. Siddhir stopped abruptly in his tracks and spun around, ready to let him have it for being so doggedly flirtatious at a time like this and then thought better of it. “Perhaps that is a good idea.” “Wonderful! I would be glad to have company for a time,” Melpomaen replied. He waited until Siddhir joined him, and they warily made way for the guest talans.