Matrimony 1

Justin walked through the dark and desolate hallways, dreading his destination of what had become in the last two days, a shrine to his father. Sympathy cards and dying flower arrangements littered the large office upon the top floor of the Taylor Advertising.

Immediately, upon entering the cold space, he started to cry. “Fucking allergies!” He said cursing and trying to convince him that it was the pollen making his blue eyes water and therefore had nothing to do with the real reason Justin was in his father’s office at nearly midnight alone.

The young blond man was not there to reminisce or mourn. He simply needed to find his father’s spare P.D.A. to get a few numbers from it. Jo Anne, Craig Taylor’s assistant had not been much help with the arrangements. Justin called at least fifty people and told them of Craig Taylor’s death. Each time his voice was monotone and his ears only allowed the condolences into his mind for the duration of the call. 

He had seen the way Jo Anne had ‘handled’ calling him, and that was enough to sway him against asking for her help more than he had to; or anyone else, for that matter. Besides, she truly was rightfully more upset about his sudden departure from earth than Justin was. After all, she had known him better that he ever had. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that she’d been in love with the businessman for years, but Justin’s dad never returned the feelings for her or anyone else except of course for one person and that wasn’t him.

At these thoughts, Justin angrily flopped into his father’s large leather chair that was behind the huge mahogany desk in the corner. He began to rifle through the organized drawer’s items intent on getting what he came for and leaving as quickly as possible. But, Justin was stopped when he found an old drawing he and his brother Jeremy had done for him on one of the many trips to their daddy’s office that his mom had taken them and his sister Molly on.

For a moment, Justin lost himself in thinking of the many floor lunches attended on the office rug every Saturday in an effort to bring Craig home from the office early. It never took much convincing though, Craig could never resist his wife Jennifer or his three blond headed, blue eyed children with their bright smiles and ‘I love you’s.’ All mirrored his beloved and he used to say, “Jen, there is nothing of me in out kids. I think genetics was on our side.” To this, Jennifer would always kiss her husband’s cheek and give the same response. “Genetics was on our side because they are all lucky enough to have your heart and brains.” The kids would usually tease their parents afterwards and make faces when they would kiss and then pile them with tickles and hugs and kisses themselves. It had been an unspoken tradition.

Laughter filled Justin’s mind. The sound of what was once a happy perfect family. It was so long ago now, and it had been years since Justin had even thought about it. His heart lurched and his glassy eyes spilled forth onto his pale cheeks. A loud sob rang throughout the room and startled Justin. 

He looked around the room, squinting through tears into the dark and then turned on the small lamp on the desk, only to realize the noise had come from him. Disgusted with this revelation, Justin wiped at his eyes with the backs of his palms cursing and excusing his behavior aloud. “Don’t be such a baby Taylor. Do you want someone to come in here and find you crying over your faith, Craig Taylor?” He shook his head in answer and then he mentally told himself it had nothing to do with the Taylor that had died two days ago and everything to do with the ones that had passes years before.

Determined once again to get out of Craig’s layer A.S.A.P., Justin went back to searching for the blueberry. Jo Anne had done the initial call two days earlier, but Justin had been putting off calling this certain person ever since. He needed the number for his cell phone and Jo Anne had told him he would find it in there.

Dealing with this man was going to be unavoidable; Craig had made sure of that. Justin gave no care to any of the items placed so neatly in the wooden depths; he knew nothing of the Ad Business, or his father. He was sure he knew more about Craig’s protégé than he did his own father. He blamed this on the money grubbing beneficiary.

Yes, it could have been because of jealousy, but Justin had given up on that long ago. A tough fact to face, but a fact nonetheless, Craig Taylor knew nothing of the man his last living child had become and in return, the boy knew nothing of the man.

Finally, he located the small P.D.A. and was relieved to see it charged. Before he could start to explore it, his cell phone in his pants began to ring. “Hello?” He barked. After all, it was after midnight, who the fuck would call a so-called grieving son at midnight.

Only one person, and that thought made his stomach lurch. “Is this Justin Taylor?” A gruff voice shakily asked.

Justin sighed. “Yes, who is calling? Do you have any idea what time it is?” As though he had been sleeping, shit, Justin had not slept since the night of the accident, but HE did not need to know that. Justin knew exactly WHO was calling him. Jo Anne had forewarned him that morning.

“S..S..Sorry.” A deep breath released and buzzed through Justin’s ear. “This is Brian. Brian Kinney. This is you Justin?” The pained voice broke as it spoke his name. 

For a second Justin’s heart felt for the man, but that feeling quickly passed. “Yes.” He said coolly. “This is Justin Taylor.” 

“Jo Anne told me to call you when my flight arrived so we could discuss…” Brian’s voice trailed off.

Justin was not sure but he thought he might have heard a slight sob on the other end. Once again, his chest tightened and he had to remind himself that he justifiably needed to have no sympathy for the man. “You wanted to discuss?” Justin said this in an almost mocking tone. He had no idea how much he was hurting Brian, if he did he did not care.

“I wanted to get in touch with you about the specifics on the funeral arrangements for Dad. I tried calling you earlier today but...”

It took Justin a second but he had heard right. Brian Kinney was calling his father ‘Dad?’ ‘What the fuck is going on?’ He was angry and thrown. He may not have liked his father, but who did this free loader think he was? “I’m sorry,” Justin said snidely. “I wasn’t aware that your father had passed Mr. Kinney. What a coincidence, it seems my father died three days ago when his private jet went down on his way to the Pitts to see you.”

Justin heard a sharp intake of breath on the other line and then a click indicating the caller had hung up his end. He was not going to feel bad for acting like such a bastard. It may have seen that he had gone too far, but he’d only just started.

Pain coursed through his veins and began to blind him. His entire family was dead. And some stranger suddenly thought it was ok to include himself into it? Fuck that! He threw the small computer across the room, not caring if it broke into a million pieces. At least he would not be the only thing that was.

He stood up to leave when he caught site of a photo mixed in with the contents from the middle drawer and now laid strewn on the desk amidst the mess.

Slowly he sat down again and gingerly picked up the 8x10. It was the last of the annual Taylor family Christmas pictures. He had been six, along with his twin brother Jeremy. The identical front toothless boys kneeled on either side of a smaller blond girl, Molly, their four-year-old sister. The children wore green turtlenecks, while their parents sat behind them in front of the Christmas tree on the sofa in red sweaters. 

All of the Taylor’s wore bright smiles and their love for one another jumped out at you through the picture. Justin’s body started to shake as he remembered what had happened shortly after that Christmas.

Jennifer had been picking up Molly and Jeremy from school on their first day back from winter break. Justin had not attended to due a small fever; his immune system had always been weaker that Jeremy’s and his body much smaller ever since birth, Justin had just caught up growing with his brother the year before. Jennifer was some times overly cautious of Justin’s health for reason that he had not been expected to live through the night he had been born. So, with a small cough and temperature that Monday, Justin stayed at home to rest and watched movies with his dad.

‘Miracle and Angel’ were the nicknames Jennifer had given her twin baby boys, the significance of which Craig did not notice and appreciate after three of the Taylor’s died instantly after smashing into a semi on the highway head on.

Craig had immersed himself in suing the car company that had put faulty tires on the brand new SUV that had careened helplessly into oncoming traffic after one had blown out. It was not as though Craig needed the money, he needed the revenge. It kept his mind off what he had once had and consequently, what he still did.

Justin left with half of his soul missing. Yes, his mother and sister were gone, but losing Jeremy was, as he’d split in two. Jeremy and Justin had been inseparable and had still curled around each other at night to sleep; taking turns on whose twin bed they would crawl into. The instant Jeremy had left for the heavens Justin knew. 

Sitting up in his bed drinking flat 7up he nearly choked on it and felt a great pain rip through his body. A few minutes before his father had gone to answer the telephone that rang in the office down the hall. He stared at his cloud painted ceiling for what seemed to be hours hearing muffled sobs from down the hall. In reality only a half hour passed before his father held him crying and reluctantly telling him of the deaths.

That had been the last time his father had touched him, or anyone one else for that matter, with the exception of the occasion hand shake, pat on the arm, or any corporal punishment his boarding school wanted to give him, but really he never felt any of it.

Gallagher Boarding School on the outskirts of Las Vegas had provided him with the best education he could receive and a pseudo home only a month after the deaths. The only contact he had with his father was through a monthly letter he was sure Jo Anne had altered to make it sound as though his father cared. Mostly they told him of his business ventures and of course, of Brian Kinney. On occasion, his father would meet him for lunch on his birthday but was never able to look Justin in the eye.

Justin understood why his father did not want to look at him. It was the same reason he did not want to look in the mirror. With every glance, he saw Jeremy and then would think of his mom and Molly. He had become repulsed by the image a few months after the crash and could not blame his father for sending him away. Justin had overheard Craig telling his grandfather that looking at Justin was like looking at a walking ghost. Ever since that day that is what Justin has felt like.

A shell of a human being, who was now even more alone, he did not know that could be possible. Then, nothing ever went the way Justin thought or dared to hope it would be.

When he was younger he’d make up stories and tell himself that his father led a secret life; he was like Bruce Wayne, multi-millionaire by day, superhero by night. That was why his daddy couldn’t be with him. Justin even believed his father had a secret family because on his 7th birthday lunch Craig had answered his cell phone by saying, “Hello Sonny boy.” Later, he found out it was Brian Kinney.

Brian Kinney was an 18-year-old kid that had beaten up and scared off a pair of would be muggers that attacked Craig outside an office complex during one of his business trips to Pittsburgh. Craig had taken his rescuer under his wing. 

Brian had been loaned money for college to get away from a ‘tough situation at home’ as his father called it. Justin never cared what the ‘situation’ was. He had lost his mom, sister and twin brother, nothing could be tougher than that. And he was losing his father because of Brian.

He’d been beaten up and harassed daily at Gallagher and didn’t participate in any sports, much to his father’s dismay. “Brian is on the college soccer team.” He would tell Justin. “Brian is an amazing ad executive!” Justin was a lithe frail artist allergic to almost every thing in the world. “Brian will make an amazing husband to the right man one day.” Justin was sure Craig would try and set them up once he felt Justin was old enough but luckily, he thought, he had yet to meet him face to face and his father would not ever get what he wanted.

Craig tried to change that three days before yet again with compliments spewing forth about the ‘amazing young man’ he seemed to adore more than his own living son did!

“I want you to fly with me to Pittsburgh and take a look around Mellon this Friday before you decide on a college Justin.” Craig said solemnly.

“I have decided. It’s been decided for two years! My fucking tuition is paid and my classes are picked out!” Justin yelled much to Craig’s surprise.

“What do you think you are going to study? Be serious Justin? You can’t take over the business of you don’t get some kind of business degree.” Craig got up from his desk and placed his hand on Justin’s arm.

Justin flinched and then angrily backed away. “Don’t start feeling all parental all of the sudden. You haven’t wanted me the last decade and you are certainly not going to decide where I go to school!” He shouted. “Let alone what I choose to do with my life!”

Craig took a deep breath. “I know you are angry, but…. just come take a look at it.”

“You just want me to be under the watchful eye of your dear old ‘sonny boy!” Justin raised his voice louder and stood defiantly in front of Craig. “I don’t want to take over! Give the fucking company to him! He is the one you trust. He is the one you love as a son right Craig?” Justin said in a whisper. “And I am the son who reminds you of death.”

“Justin.” He was not sure what to say or do. He loved his son, all three of them as well as their sister and Jennifer. Yes, he had spent more time with the surrogate one, but that was because the young man had never really had a family. He looked at the ground shame started to fill his heart.

“Did you hear me? Give the company to him. I do not want anything from you! You can’t even look at me!” Justin squeaked. “Brian seems to be the perfect son. Just let me live off of Mom’s trust she left me and stay…the...fuck…out…of…my…. life!” With that Justin was gone from his office, vowing to never return to it.

Craig flinched once again, it was true he had not been able to look in his son’s eyes, the same eyes his dead family members had. He had to go to the Pitts but he was determined to get back what he once had with his ‘little miracle’ as soon as he returned.

Here Justin was, reliving memories, good and bad, both painful either way. He was crying uncontrollably and starting to feel the exhaustion the last few days had plagued him with. It was two a.m. He was completely alone.

He had no family now. Everyone had died. He was the last Taylor. He sat upon a fortune he didn’t want and was strapped to a business he knew nothing about. This was his curse, his hell. It fueled his anger and hatred and the only place he knew to direct it was at Brian Kinney.

Justin was now interested to meet the man his father called ‘sonny-boy’ for two reasons. One was that it felt good to tear him down on the phone and he could not wait to do it in person. The other, well, he was pushing that reason far away from his mind. He was a ghost that felt nothing.

Nothing but pain. Sobs racked his body again at these thoughts. He soon fell asleep in the large leather chair his ‘father’ would never occupy again, in the tomb that seemed to follow him no matter where he was. 

His last thought was an unconscious wish. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.” He nearly begged the night. “I just want to have a family again.”

((((THE NEXT MORNING)))

Brian stood over the drooling young boy who looked so small in the large black chair. After last night’s phone call he wanted to find Craig’s pride and joy as quickly as the morning came.

He’d never seen a recent picture of Justin Taylor. The kid was beautiful. 

Brian could not resist combing his fingers through the blonde locks that shone in the sun. The sleeping head instinctively leaned into his hand and sought the comfort he was providing.

The tall brunette crouched down to the chair and took in the small bond’s features more closely, moving his long fingers from the silky strands to the soft face. He stroked the skin on the pale cheek of the man he’d promised to protect.

He thought back to Craig lying on the hospital bed in Pittsburgh waiting for death to take him and reunite him with the family he lost. “Brian.” Craig took the younger man’s hand in his own. “You will be taken care of.” He whispered.

Tears fell from Brian’s eyes as he watched the man who had given him so much take his final breaths. “Craig, no, you’re gonna be okay.” Brian said and kissed the man’s cheek… knowing what he said couldn’t come true. The millionaires’ body was completely crushed. The doctor’s were amazed that Mr. Taylor was still alive, let alone talking and coherent.

“Justin needs you. You are all he has left.” Craig said sadly through the pain. “I haven’t done right by him and I know when I see Jen she’s gonna give me hell for it. It’s unforgivable. He’s so alone. I was too until I met you sonny boy.” Craig squeezed Brian’s fingers and let out a long breath.

“Craig I’ll do what ever you ask, but Justin doesn’t even know me.” Brian cried. “How can he need me?”

“You will need each other. And he does know you. I sing your praises all the time. You make sure he knows I sang his as well sonny-boy.” A loud cough sounded from deep within the dying man’s body,

Fear sliced through Brian. “Dad please you can…”

“No, Brian I can’t. I’m not strong enough, not like Justin was. He was our miracle baby. We thought we would loose him and he is so close to losing himself. You have to get him back. Give him what he needs Brian. Please. It’s what you need too.”

“Dad.” Brian held the man he thought of as his father as he slipped away. He cried onto his broken chest until the doctor’s forced him away.

Hours later he was summoned to meet with Mr. Keller, Craig’s lawyer. He was informed that he now was an equal partner in everything Craig had left behind. The business, the fortune, all assets, it was all half his, and half, Justin Taylor’s.

Immediately he began to make arrangements to fly out to Vegas and see to it that Justin Taylor would be all right. Even if he was completely unsure of how to do that.

Brian knew more than anyone what it was like to be alone. But this, Brian wasn’t sure he could survive it! Let alone help an eighteen-year-old kid through it. But he had to. It wasn’t Craig’s last wish. No, Craig had sounded so certain that Brian could help his son.

But Brian knew he was facing more than just Craig’s death. That had been confirmed by last night’s phone call as well as by all the things Craig had told him about the boy. 

The world was definitely on his shoulders, as well as every other part of his body. But Craig sounded so certain that he could do it. The same way he’d been when he encouraged Brian with school and work and he had been right in those instances.

Now Brian’s fingers trailed on their own over the pouty pink lips that held moisture in the corners. This time he felt guilty for the jolt that went through him and straight to his groin. He pulled his hand back as Justin began to smack his lips and make moaning noises. That only made it worse! A tongue snaked out and licked the lips sending chills through Brian’s body so bad he nearly fell on his ass and had to grab onto the arm of the chair to keep from falling.

The chair moved and slowly the blond lashes fluttered open to reveal the most beautiful sparkling blue eyes Justin had ever seen. The owner stared at him with a confused look and a goofy sleepy grin.

Justin thought he was dreaming or in heaven, which given the circumstances and ‘The Taylor Curse’ it wouldn’t have surprised him. He hoped it was heaven.

A gorgeous brunet kneeled at his feet looking up at him with trust and care. The bright light shone on the red in his hair. Justin closed his eyes and opened them again. He had to be dreaming. No man was as beautiful as the one before him. “Who are you?” He said sleepily looking around and disappointed that he was in his father’s shrine.

Brian smiled. Justin’s heart warmed for the first time since he was six years old. He felt like he was flying and gave the man an equally radiant smile. His blue eyes locked with the intense hazel ones. He raised his eye brows as in asking the question again.

“I’m Brian Kinney, Miracle boy.” Brian smiled again. He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to call Justin that name; it just seemed to fit for too many reasons.

Justin felt tears brim into his eyes. No one had called him that since his mother had kissed him before she left to pick up his brother and sister. He knew he should be angry. He hated this man, didn’t he? But he was far from angry, for the first time he could remember.

He felt alive. He didn’t feel like a ghost and by the way the Brian was looking at him it felt like he really did SEE him. Somehow that thought made his heartbeat faster and the warmth spread throughout his body and then he was in the man’s arms. 

Both men cried and held one another. 

They cried for the fear of the future.

The pains of the present.

And they cried for what they once had.