My Only Critic
Chapter 10 
My Only Decision
(All mistakes are now Helen's fault. Hahha, just kidding.  But she did beta it, and I am so happy she did. The reasons for my absence has been greatly exageratted.  Yeah, I know, barely anyone noticed I was gone.)  Helen I love you, and I'm blessed to know you. Enjoy! -Rory

"Oh my god!" Justin squeezed John's hand as his eyes filled with tears. "That....that...that's a baby." Justin's other hand reached up to touch the ultra-sound screen beside him. 

Dr. Stills moved the wand on her patients’ stomach. "And here's is baby number two." She said with surprise.

John fought the tears that wanted to spill so suddenly. He looked down at Justin's face; it was filled with the perfect mixture of shock and joy. What would Justin do now with more than one baby to consider? 

"Twins?" Justin said softly. "Are you sure?" He asked looking back and forth in between the doctors. 

"I'm pretty positive." Hailey said and touched her finger to the screen. "See, there is two heads." She pointed to the skulls that faced each other and then moved the wand down. 

"And look here." Doctor Stills laughed. "They're holding hands." 

John laughed along with her and smiled when Justin smiled up at him he knew that Justin wasn't going to terminate the pregnancy now. "You okay?" He asked the blond. 

Justin nodded his head and then looked back at OBGYN. "Can you tell how far along I am? What the sex is? If they are going to be okay?" He said all in one breath. 

Hailey laughed. "One question at a time kiddo. Between doing the oral exam and the ultra-sound. It seems that you are at 17 weeks. I'd put your due date as June 14th. But usually twins come a little early." 

"They'd be Gemini's!" Justin said happily. 

"That's fitting for twins then." John added. He gave a squeeze to Justin's hand. 

"To answer your second question, we might be able to tell what they are, but it seems that they're turned into one another so we really can't get a precise picture. Maybe on the next visit." Hailey suggested. “As you can see Justin, the babies limbs are now completely formed. See there is the skin and muscle and they look to be about 8 inches long.” She said. “Which is very healthy for a multiple pregnancy.” 

Justin stared at the screen in awe. The fetuses looked a little alien like, but Justin found them extremely adorable. "What about any...problems?" Justin asked the question again that he feared the answer to the most. 

"Well I haven't seen any deformities or malfunctions with either baby, but the best way to be sure is for you to get an amniocentesis done." She told him setting down the wand. "You will be continuing with the pregnancy?" Hailey asked the boy, pretty sure that now the answer would be yes.

"I'm...I'm going to keep them no matter what." Justin said firmly. “That is my only option. The only decision.”

John and Doctor Stills looked at one another and shared a smile. Both doctors happy that Justin would be able to experience fatherhood. Neither one had thought for a second that Justin would willingly terminate his pregnancy.

"Well then Justin, I’m going to give you some pamphlet’s to read through about pregnancy. You’re also going to have to get a tetanus toxoid injection. You can get that done in California, but you’ll have to have a second one about a month or so after that. There is also blood work and of course the normal visits that you’ll have to do. I have a friend who is an OBGYN in San Francisco, I’ll give you her number okay?”

Justin smiled. “Thank you Doctor. I’d appreciate that very much.”

“I put the scan of the babies on a disk for you to take home, and while that’s burning we can work out a date for you to have the amnio done when you come back from California, okay?" Hailey told him much to Justin’s joy. 

An idea popped into Justin’s head. It was going to be hard to talk to Brian, but it would be much easier if he could just show him. Wouldn’t it? "Yes. Thank you." He said.
***

Justin was sitting at a picnic table with John at the park wolfing down his second Big Mac. 

"Well you definitely are eating for three huh?" John laughed, taking a fork full of his salad. 

Justin looked up at John, his eyebrows raised, mouth stuffed, a piece of lettuce hanging from his lips. "Huh?" Justin asked. He'd been so intent on eating that he hadn't heard what John said. 

John laughed softly when Justin smirked at him. Another look he’d noticed that was very reminiscent of his father. "You remind me so much of your father." He voiced. 

Justin finished chewing his bite, took a big long drink of lemonade and looked at John with a smile. "I really wish he was here for me right now." Justin said, receiving a sad look from John. "But I am so glad to have you in my life. I'd be honored if you'd accept the role of 'Grandpa" to the twins." 

John beamed. "I'd be more than happy to." 

Justin took a handful of fries and stuffed them in his mouth. "I don't know how I'm going to tell Brian." He said in between chews. 

John nodded his head. "He loves you Justin." 

"But that doesn't mean he's going to be okay about the twins. Hell, I'm still in shock from it!" Justin said. 

"Well you have to do it before you go to California tomorrow. You'll be too far along to hide it from him when you get back." John said. He wished there was something he could do for the young blond, but this was something the boy would have to do on his own. However, he would be there for him no matter the outcome. 

Justin started to clean up the trash. He slurped the last drink of lemonade from the straw and threw it in the trash. "Brian should be getting home in about an hour. I guess I'm going to go meet him." 

"And tell him about the babies?" John questioned. 

"Yes." Justin said in almost a whisper. His hand touched his growling stomach lightly and he shook his head. He'd just eaten two Super Size Value Meals! And he was hungry? 

John and Justin walked back to their cars where John pulled the young man into an embrace. He hugged the kid and allowed Justin to sink into him for a moment before pulling back and looking down into his eyes. "You're strong enough to do this." He said. "But you know if you need anything at all, you can call me." 

Justin wiped the tear that fell and nodded. "Thanks John." He gave him one last quick hug and got in his car. 

John drove off, praying that Brian would accept his children and Justin. But he knew that there wasn't much hope of that. And for Justin's sake, that thought terrified him! 
***
When Brian got home from work he was surprised to see Justin sitting at his kitchen table. The blonde didn't even look up at him; instead he was focused on twisting, licking and dunking an Oreo cookie in a glass of milk. "Hey baby." Brian said. 

Startled, Justin dropped what remained of the cookie in the glass causing some of the milk to spill out onto the table. He got up quickly to retrieve a paper towel. "Sorry Brian." He said taking the towel from the roll and wiping up the mess. "I didn't hear you come in." Justin told him, throwing the towel in the trash bin and going to the sink to wash his hands. 

Brian noticed instantly that something was a little off with his boyfriend. "Are you alright?" Brian asked going into the fridge and taking out a bottle of water.

Justin nodded his head a little. "I'm fine.” He felt his skin blushing. “But, well, actually I have something I wanted to show you." Justin said softly. 

Brian drank the whole bottle in one drink and put the bottle in the trash under the sink before turning back cautiously to Justin. "What is it?" He asked with warranted trepidation.

Justin went to the closet to retrieve the cd out of his backpack. "Can we go in your office? I'll need to load it on the computer in there." 

"Sure Jus. But can it wait a minute I really need to take a shower." He said with a pained _expression. He was really beginning to feel uncomfortable.

Justin sighed. "Please Brian." He couldn't wait. The thoughts of what would happen were eating him alive. "It'll only take a minute." He said stepping toward Brian and kissing his lips. 

"Okay." Brian conceded; his shower could wait a few minutes, whatever it was Justin seemed to be really nervous about it, and Brian was trying to be stronger for him.

Brian sat down in the office chair in front of the computer. Justin put the cd in the drive and was pulled onto Brian's lap. He couldn't escape the giggles as Brian's fingers found the hem of his shirt and went under it and started to tickle the sides of his stomach. 

Justin's giggling stopped when the Window's Media Player Popped open. His body trembled a little when he felt Brian's fingers lightly rubbing the bulge that hung over his jeans. His hands shook as he pointed the mouse to open the file. He maximized the screen and pressed play, leaning back upon Brian. He would savor his lover's touch as long as he could. His fingers twined with the ones above his bare skin as he watched the screen come alive. 

Brian wasn't really sure what he was watching at first. He couldn't make out anything, and the sounds emitted were oceanic. But then, the picture got clearer as it was zoomed in. There was an obvious head like thing and when the picture moved he saw another head. And then it zoomed out again and he could make out the two funny objects. Clearly. They were babies. Two necks, two chests, he could see a hand from each baby. And it was obvious that they were holding hands. Hell, it almost looked like they were kissing. Their chests seemed to rise and fall with breath in unison and their hearts were clearly, visibly beating. "Justin." He spoke, his mouth dry. Fear crept from within him, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the screen. This wasn’t good.

"I'm pregnant." Justin confirmed, tears falling down his face. 

Brian realized where his hand was now resting. He moved it across the bulky flesh and then removed it from Justin's hand and body. "With two?" He asked in fear.

Justin leapt off of Brian's lap. The disappointment in Brian's voice was killing him. He turned toward the window and braced himself on the ledge, his back to Brian. "Yes. I'm seventeen weeks." 

"Why did you do this!" Brian spat. "You know how I feel about being a father Justin!" Brian could feel his insides coiling in on him. His hands were shaking and his knees felt weak as he leapt from the chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He concentrated on taking deep breaths because right now, he felt like he was going to pass out.

"I didn't do this on purpose!" Justin screamed turning to face the man. 

Brian jumped. He’d never heard Justin’s voice have such venom in it, he couldn’t recall a time the blond had ever screamed any time other than sex. He was strangely calmer though. 

Justin walked up to Brian. “I know you’re fucking scared Brian! I know you are. I know you don’t want to be a daddy. I knew that long before I found out I was pregnant and long before I got pregnant. So why don’t you stop thinking about yourself for a fucking moment and think about me! How fucking scared I must have been when I learned that I was pregnant with twins, and knowing with all certainty that the man I love will never want them and now me!” Justin turned to run but Brian caught him.

Brian pulled Justin close to his body. He embraced his lover to him and squeezed tightly. He could feel the bump of baby in between them and wondered how he’d missed it before. He let Justin sink into his strong body and held the boy as he shook with tears. 

“I’m so sorry Justin.” Brian whispered into the boy’s ear. “This has nothing to do with me not wanting you.” He moved one hand down to Justin’s belly. “Or them. I just can’t do it Justin. I love you and them too much to put you through the hurt I could cause you all.” Brian’s tears spilled into Justin’s blond hair.

Both of the daddies started to sob painfully as they gripped onto each other for strength and love through the scariest time of their lives. 


The End Of The Chapter, Cause I am Evil