My Only Critic
Chapter 13 "What Perfection Is"

Hey, I wanted to let you all know that I will be posting 3 new stories exclusively on my livejournal for the NaNoWriMo month, they will be completed by the end of November, so check out my LJ page. 
http://foreverfolked.livejournal.com/  

(Last time in MOC Brian met Justin at the airport, overcoming his fears and brought a sleepy Justin home after six weeks in California.)
<hr>
<i>“Failing down is your heart, Above the ruins of the thoughts
Trying to go in the uncertainty, Your dogma suffers in the shades
Condemned in the illusions of the perfection
Your sickness true. In tears, drowned
Holding for pain, Forging a smile
Come as flower, Beyond the nightmares
With the awake of the sun In ground of thorns
Returning to the Eden as delirium
Beyond the worry's walls
Returning to the dust of the essence
The crosses of the memory Come as flower
To the gate of your way
Failing down In the shades of your past
Your sickness true. In tears, drowned
Holding for pain
Then ignoring and you will be forging the paradise.”</i>


Justin woke up in the bedroom of his apartment. He turned from his back to his side and saw Brian lying beside him, staring.

“Good Morning.” Brian said softly. “Did you sleep well?”

Justin looked over at his alarm clock and saw that he’d slept the whole night without even having to wake up and go to the bathroom. It was nearly nine thirty a.m. “Yeah. I’m going to go to the bathroom.” He turned and got out of the bed. Not really looking at Brian. He was still very confused as to why the man had gone and picked him up in the airport in the first place. What was any of this going to accomplish?

Justin took in Brian’s appearance as he crawled back into bed after relieving his bladder. His eyes went wide from the quick observation. Brian was still completely clothed. That never happened! “What are you doing here? I thought you’d go back to your condo after I fell asleep.” 

Brian felt like he’d been slapped in the face and quickly sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He turned his back to Justin and put his head in his hands. “I thought you wanted me.” Brian said through a tortured throaty voice.

Justin yawned and sat up slowly. “Brian you know I do. It is you who doesn’t want me.” The blond touched Brian’s back with his fingertips. “Please look at me.” He begged, making the brunette turn to face him.

“That isn’t true Justin. You know that I love you.” Brian pleaded back at him. He moved his body so that he sat Indian style in front of Justin. 

Justin took Brian’s hand and put it on his belly. “But you don’t want them and they are a part of me.”

Brian looked down at Justin’s naked stomach. He’d been staring at Justin for the last couple of hours. He’d even gone out to his car and gotten his camera equipment to take pictures of the sleeping beauty. Brian had wanted to touch Justin but he had left him alone. He feared that he would wake the younger man up when it was obvious the blond needed to rest.

Brian’s eyelashes fluttered a little from the emotional sensations he was experiencing. Justin guided his hand all around to caress the creamy skin. Brian thought that Justin’s stomach would feel hard like a rock or something. Instead when Justin pressed a little it felt like a super soft plastic bouncy ball. The kind he and Cynthia would play with at her house. He really liked to touch Justin’s stomach.

Justin studied Brian’s expressions and felt his heart skip a beat. The beauty and contentment on his lover’s face brought tears to his eyes. He wanted so badly to be a family with Brian. He wanted to show Brian what love really was. “Brian?”

Brian opened his eyes and looked into Justin’s. “Yes?” Justin’s hand lifted off of his own but Brian still left his hand on the soft belly and moved it around. 

“I love you Brian. I do. But you have to tell me whether or not you are going to stick around. I can’t have you coming and going in my life! It will hurt me and our children too much. Do you understand?” Justin raised his hands and cupped Brian’s face in them. He stared deeply into the photographer’s hazel eyes, pleading with the man to understand.

Brian blinked a few times before closing his eyes and leaning into Justin’s touch. He’d missed it so much. His chest was tightening and he could feel the urge to cry but he wanted to get through this. He needed to. He opened his eyes and took Justin’s soft hands into his own. He asked the questions that had been plaguing him for far too long. “Do you think the babies will think I’m stupid? You know… when they’re older. I…I don’t want to be an embarrassment to them. They will be ashamed of me won’t they?” 

Justin felt his heart literally break at Brian’s words and serious expression. “Brian.” The blond leaned into his lover and put his arms around his waist. “We’ll teach our children to be respectful and accepting. There will be nothing to be ashamed of about you or me for that matter. There isn’t now Brian. I wish you’d only believe that.” 

Brian could hear the desperation in his lovers’ voice. He’d missed Justin so much. The last six weeks without the man had felt worse than the years he hadn’t been with him at all. Because he KNEW exactly what he was missing, it wasn’t just wondering. He KNEW. Justin returned his effects as deeply as Brian could have ever dreamed. He knew that Justin loved him and wouldn’t lie to him. He wanted so badly to believe what the blond said was true. “I want them to be proud of their father.” He said finally. “I know they’ll be proud to introduce you as their dad to people but…”

“Stop this Brian. Stop it. They aren’t going to be doing that for years from now. They’re just babies. We’ll take it once step at a time. They aren’t going to KNOW anything is different about you and the way you like things because all parents are different. That’s just how it is. All people are different and unique and it is okay to be that way. No matter what my parents,” he leaned his forehead against Brian’s and stared into his eyes, “or yours may have told us. I love you just the way you are. The babies will love you just the same way Brian Kinney. You have to believe that we can do this. But you have to decide now. I will be here for you and will help you but you have to at least agree to be here, with us.”

Brian didn’t want to lose his children. Sure, they may one day grow to dislike his weird ‘quirks’ and temperament but they would hate him if he didn’t know them at all. They would think he abandoned them and their other father. Because that would basically be what he’d be doing. Whether he supported them financially or not. Not that Justin even needed his money. He would have to stay with Justin. They would work out how to raise the children. There was nothing else for him to do. 

Justin watched as Brian soaked in his words. It did finally seem like the man was really listening to him. For once, the brunette believed in the faith Justin had in him. He knew that everything in their lives would take some adjusting to with the babies. But what parents didn’t make huge adjustments to their lives when a child came along? They could do it. Despite Brian’s doubts and fears, Justin knew they could. They would make great parents. He would be able to see Brian experience real parental love first hand.

Brian kissed Justin’s nose and drew back away from him and reached inside the pocket of his pants. He pulled out the item and opened it. He was a little uncertain about the shocked look on the blonde’s face. But, Brian knew this was what they both needed. More importantly this is what his family needed. 

“I want to be our children other father and I want to learn from you how to do that. And we can learn anything you don’t know together. I want you to be my husband Justin. I will try my hardest to be the husband and father you and the children deserve. Will you forgive me for letting you go and hurting you? Will you marry me Justin Taylor?” Brian opened his mouth to take a deep breath but it was instantly attacked by Justin’s lips.

Justin moaned and launched himself at Brian. “Yes.” He said in-between bathing his tongue with Brian’s saliva and taking a breath. “Brian I love you.” He whispered while he peppered kisses all over Brian’s face. He pulled back and laughed.

Brian was out of breath from the emotions inside him and Justin’s hungry quick exploration of their kisses. He gave Justin a lopsided grin and took the small silver band out of its box and held Justin’s shaking hand in his own. “I love you.” He spoke as he slipped the band onto Justin’s finger.

Justin looked at the ring on his finger and then looked at Brian. “You can’t take this back Brian. We’ll work through everything now, together.”

Brian nodded his head and leaned in to kiss Justin’s pink lips. Justin opened his mouth and mashed his tongue with Brian’s. His hands gripped Brian’s shirt and moved to the front where he started to unbutton it. 

Brian moaned and pulled away from Justin, panting. He stood up and started to undress himself. First, he finished what Justin had started and took off his shirt, folding it neatly and placing it on the top of the dresser. He did the same with his pants and underwear too. By the time he was finished Justin was lying completely naked in the center of the bed. 

Brian took a moment to look over Justin. His hair was messy around his head. He looked into Justin’s dark blue eyes and saw pure lust in them. His gaze traveled lower as he walked to and crawled up on the bed. Justin’s lips were red and plump from their kissing and open in an ‘o’ shape that made Brian’s already rock hard cock, harder. He really wanted to be inside Justin.

“This is safe for you and the babies’, right?” He asked concerned.

Justin smiled. “Yes, definitely.” He said quickly. “But, if you don’t touch me or get inside me soon, YOU won’t be safe!” Justin growled. He’d gotten so utterly turned on by watching Brian slowly and methodically undress. He knew the brunette wasn’t doing it to tease him, but still it felt that way to him.

Brian smirked at Justin and crawled up and over him on all fours. “What’s going to be comfortable for you?” He asked.

“I’m not that big yet so anything is fine. You know how flexible I am. Just, go slow okay?” Justin wanted Brian to fuck him immediately, but he knew that he was still very tight. It wasn’t very easy to play with a dildo or put his fingers inside himself with his stomach in the way, no matter how limber he was. 

Brian leaned down and pushed his lips onto Justin’s. They kissed and sucked each other for a few minutes until Brian’s erection started brushing against Justin’s as the rutted and he felt like he might cum. He crawled over to the night stand and retrieved a condom and lube. He sat the condom down and drew Justin’s legs onto his shoulders as he popped the cap on the slick. Pouring out a generous amount on his fingers he inched them forward and slowly slipped one into the opening to Justin’s body.

Justin’s back bowed with pleasure/pain at the entry and his skin broke out in goose bumps. “Brian…more.” He begged, not caring if he sounded like a slut with just the one finger gliding in and out of his chute making him mad with pleasure.

Brian took out the first finger, but then slid in two the next breath. He was going out of his mind as he watched Justin’s tight hole accept his digits and then squeeze and twist around them. He pumped the two fingers in and out of the blonde’s ass torturously slow. 

Justin was going out of his mind. “I’m ready Brian. Come on.” He begged. “Harder!”

Brian used his free arm to heft Justin’s body up closer to him. He nearly had the boy hang up side down as he plunged his fingers hard into his hole and with the same stroke he moved his head down and put Justin’s cock into his mouth. 

“Oh My God!” Justin yelled. Surprised by Brian’s action. Brian had NEVER blown him before. Yet, he was deep-throating his cock with grace and skill! The site of Brian sucking and pulling on his cock with his throat, mouth, and tongue had Justin squirming and on the verge of orgasm immediately. “I’m gonna cum Brian.” He warned the man.

Brian couldn’t believe he’d held himself back from this before! The taste flooding his mouth of Justin’s pre-cum was heavenly sweet and salty. He devoured all he could and suckled at the source like he was a starving man. Everything he did was pure instinct and reaction to the pleasure he found doing such a dirty and uninhibited act and also to the obvious pleasure he was giving his lover. 

He heard Justin warning him, telling him he was going to ‘cum’ so soon. Brian thought he’d pull off and milk the orgasm with his hand. But it was a fleeting thought. He didn’t want that any more than Justin did. So he continued to swallow, suck and tease Justin’s cock and finger his tender ass repeatedly; until he heard the boy roar out his name. He then withdrew the cock from his throat as he felt it twitch on the way up and splatter cum down his insides. He backed it away until the spurting knob was only in his mouth and he suckled the spraying rod greedily, luxuriating in the taste of the cum exploding onto his taste buds and saturating his senses with desire.

Justin was in complete and utter euphoria. His skin tingled and sweat ran off of his brow in rivulets. His eyes were blurry as he came down from his orgasm and tried to focus on Brian who was still digging his tongue into his slit for the last of his flavors. It made him moan involuntarily. 

Brian pulled off of Justin’s semi-hard cock with a plop. His fingers were still lodged in the blonde’s tight hole, feeling the aftershock sensations twist around them. His hazel eyes found Justin’s and he smiled and then licked a stray drop of cum from his lips. “I’m going to be inside you now.”

“What has gotten into you Brian?” Justin asked with labored breaths.

Brian shook his head and lowered Justin’s legs and body. He positioned himself so that his wet dick was placed against the hand that’s fingers were still resting inside Justin. The blonde’s legs went around his waist as he pulled his sticky fingers out and captured his dick with them. “I want to be in you.” Brian told him, his voice husky. “That’s all.” 

Justin leaned up and put his arms around Brian and brought their lips together. He kissed him softly and then leaned back down and grinded his asshole against the dripping warm cock nestled between his cheeks. “Come inside me Brian.”

Brian knew this was a huge step for them. He could easily lean over and open the condom and slip it on his dick, but; he didn’t want that. He would have to go back to wearing a condom once the babies came. However, there wasn’t any reason he couldn’t make love to Justin raw right now. It may not always be like this, this carefree. But today he had the strength to banish all the thoughts that normally upset their daily lives. Today he would make love to Justin Taylor, his fiancé and bearer of his children, with nothing between them.

“Take me.” Brian said, pushing just the head inside. 

“Oh, yes!” Justin cried out as Brian’s thick cock penetrated his body. He’d felt so empty for far too long. Now, being filled with Brian’s bare cock was everything he could have imagined. He wasn’t going to question this ‘new’ side of Brian. This controlled and confident man that hovered above him. He would lie back and allow his body to respond and show Brian the beauty in this act, this connection.

Brian pumped his hip and carefully braced his arms on each side of Justin’s chest, his hands resting in Justin’s sweaty armpits. His stomach rubbed against Justin’s soft one as he slowly backed in and out of the tight opening that squeezed in rhythm around him.

They locked eyes and then mouths as their careful beginning started to lead to a more hurried pace. Brian shared Justin’s flavor painted on his tongue and gave it to the boy, making them delirious from the taste of both of them together. 

Justin leaned his neck to the side when Brian started to whisper kisses along his cheek and throat. He gave access to Brian’s tongue and lips as they swirled and sucked his neck and collarbone; all the while their sexes collided in tandem thrusts and pushes.

Brian tasted everything Justin offered to him. He sucked Justin’s hard nipples and bit the nubs gently when he slowed the pace down; afraid he’d cum to soon. He moved his mouth back up to Justin’s and brought his pelvis down lower to brush against Justin’s cock. He could feel it leaking just under his belly button and knew it was time. “I’m going to cum inside you.” Brian whispered when he broke the kiss for a moment.

Justin’s eyes were squeezed shut from the hammering pleasure but he opened them when he heard Brian’s words. “Cum inside me.” He told him. “Cum inside me and stay with me Brian.” Justin ran his hands up and down Brian’s muscular back as the man pummeled his hole with hard rams of his cock, over and over again.

“Fuck Justin! Squeeze me!” Brian ordered as he plunged in quickly and out again. 

Justin listened and used his muscles to twist Brian’s cock upon entry and exit. His prostate was swollen and so tender he knew that on the next touch he’d be flying and seeing stars. “Ahhh! Brian!” He yelled out and his balls drew up so tightly to his body Justin was sure they were going to pump all of their cum out. And when he came it was a violent climax of his entire body being lost to his mind. 

Brian held his dick inside Justin as the blond orgasmed and shot around him. He closed his eyes from all the over sensitizing and cried out Justin’s name as the clamping on his cock took him into outer space.

For minutes they both shook and moaned and released torrents of expression. Justin became aware of Brian’s emission coating his insides like hot salve. It felt amazing.

Brian turned them to their sides, unable to support his weight but wanting to stay inside Justin. He hugged the blond to him staring into the glassy blue eyes that he loved. 

Justin smiled sleepily; exhausted from the climaxes he’d reached so close together after such a long time. They’d have to recondition their bodies to the pleasure once again. “Stay with me.” Justin said tiredly.

Brian kissed Justin’s forehead. “I’ll never leave you. Never.” He vowed and closed his eyes, joining Justin in a peaceful sleep. 

There would be a lot of stuff they’d have to work out in the morning and in the coming months. For now, everything was perfect. Brian felt perfect. For the first time in his life he knew exactly what that was and the way to accomplish it. Perfection was lying beside him in the form of a blond beauty that was carrying his children inside his body.