Thx again to my beta.Britt for the great job.Thx to the girls as well. Sid, thx for being there when I needed you. I love you all.<hr>


Justin POV:

It’s been a total of two weeks since Brian and I got back from the cabin. All we did was talk and it always ended the same way. I would want to be alone. I still can’t let Brian get close to my heart. We fuck, but I’m not ready to move on yet.

“Justin.” Brian calls me from the bathroom

“Yeah?” I ask as I walk into the bathroom.

“Is this a gray hair?” He pulls a hair up off his head. I laugh thinking how Brian feels about his looks.

“I don’t think so, it’s more of a blondish color” I tell him laughing. 

“It’s fucking gray” He yanks it out. 

“You know they say for each gray hair you pull out; two more grows back in its place.” 

“Shit!” He tries to put the hair back into his head. I walk out laughing.

“Ok, I am picking up some dye today.” He tells me as he slaps my ass.

“Brian, you are over reacting. No one would have seen it if you hadn’t searched it out” I laugh as I sit down, Brian pulls me onto his body.

He kisses my nose and looks into my hair. 

“Brian stop it, you won’t find anything” I scream as he pulls out a hair. 

“What’s this?” He asks me.

“It’s blond you asshole.” 

“Well you know what they say, for every blond hair you pull out, two brunette grows back in its place.” I slap his hip. 

“Not funny.” He laughs at my child-like look.

He starts to kiss me as he reaches between us, pulling off my shirt. “I’ll show you my kind of fun” He whispers into my ear.

I moan as his mouth covers my nipple, biting it a little as he pulls it with his teeth. He knows how much that turns me on. I pull his hair and he moans, moving his hand between us, rubbing the cloth of my sweats. “I want you” He bites my neck as he pulls his own shirt off. 

He stands up, carrying me with him into the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed, covering my body with his, rubbing his dick against mine. “Can you feel how much I want you?” He asks me seductively. 

“Yes.” I moan out as he leans up, pulling my sweats off my body. He looks down at me smiling. “You are so fucking gorgeous” 

“Flattering will get you everywhere.” I whisper

He leans over and takes my dick into his mouth as he begins to suck, like his life depended on it.  I push my hips up into his mouth and close my eyes.

He continues to ravish the rest of my body as he prepares me for his cock. Once I am prepared to his liking, he slides into me in one slow but sensual motion.

He moves in and out, slowly at first and then slams into me. I reach for my cock as he grabs my hand to stop me. I look up and he’s shaking his head, smiling. “I got plans for your cock”  He says as he pushes into me one last time, cumin into the condom, he rolls off and pulls me over onto him. “Fuck me” he tells me and I look down at him, smiling. 

I prepare him with my tongue and lube and place a condom on my cock. I slide in slowly. “Fuck me hard” He pushes his hips up into me. I start to move faster and deeper as I reach down; I open his ass cheeks and angle myself. “Put a pillow under your hips.” And he does, giving me the angle to slam even farther into him. As I do I feel my balls start to tighten I reach down and slide a finger in with my dick and slam into him again and again. Hitting his prostate and everything else inside him as I slam into him two more times, I feel the condom start to fill up, looking down I see Brian cumin as well. 

After we both come down from our high, I pull out and throw the condom away. “Fuck Justin, that’s the first time someone made me cum without even touching my dick.”

I look at him, smiling. “It’s a talent” 

“Don’t fucking lose it” He laughs and pulls me into a long kiss. 

We get up and shower and with one more fuck and a blowjob later, we are sitting on the couch watching TV when Brian hands me some mail. 

I see a letter addressed to me but with no return address. I see the handwriting and freeze. It’s Michael’s.  I look at Brian who is looking at some other piece of mail. He looks at me and I see his eyes change. “What’s wrong Sunshine?” He asks me. I lift the envelope and he takes it from me. 

He opens it and looks at it, handing it to me. “Justin, it’s a letter addressed to you, it looks like Mikey’s handwriting.” 

I open it and look at the date. It’s the date he killed himself. I look at Brian and look back at the letter in my hand and begin to read it out loud for us both to hear.

Justin, I know that if you are reading this then I succeeded in killing myself. I want you to be happy again and this is my plea to you. **<I>I hope he never hurts you like I know, I hurt you, but I was undecided and it was all that I could do. if he says he loves you like I know I loved you
then there's a way to trust him. And I’ll get over you. So let his heart surround you, and let his arms protect you. And hold you every morning the way that I could never do. Another life has blessed you; he wants the same as you do So, I must find the courage to send you on your way. All the nights reflecting in our chance connecting helped me to find meaning in the life I had with you. I wish I'd heard when you said that your heart could not wait but it was my decision to send you on your way. I hope he loves you like I loved you, I hope he knows you like I do 'cause if he loves you like I love you, then I can send you on your way. </I> ** Justin, I know that you need him, as much as he needs you. Please don’t be afraid to move on with Brian. He’s a great guy and I just want you happy. I will just wait here patiently until the day comes, which will be awhile. I love you Justin, and I know Brian does to, so like I said, find the meaning with him again. Let him protect you and love you, like I can’t do now. I’ll watch over you from here. Love always, Mikey.

I get up and walk over to the bar and pour myself a drink. I drink it down in one gulp as Brian watches me. 

“Justin, is he saying what I think he’s saying?” 

“If you mean having his fucking approval to move on with you and to let you in and love me, then yes.”

“J, this means you and I can be together, guilt free.” 

“What were you feeling guilty about?” I ask him.

“Nothing, but I know that you have been avoiding your heart with me. Justin, that letter is his way of telling you to let him go. That he is letting you go, and to be happy now. So now, it’s time to let go of him as well. Of the guilt you were feeling. Of everything and let me hold you and kiss you and love you like you deserve.” He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me back into his chest. 

“I know, it’s just odd. No, it’s fucked up that the fucking letter made me feel better when all this time I blamed myself. I still do in some ways, but I didn’t want to move on. I just kept hoping it was a dream and he would walk up to us and be okay, but the letter proves to me that he’s gone. No fucking return address.” I wipe a tear and Brian tightens his hold on me.

“Justin I know that I can tell you over and over I love you, which I do, but all my actions have also told you how I feel. They scream my love for you. I can’t promise we won’t hurt each other, but I can promise that we will always work through things and I will never lie to you or cheat on you.” 

“Brian.”

“No, look I know Mikey fucked up but I’m older, wiser and better looking then him and know what I have in you and I will NOT do anything to ruin that.” 

“Brian.” I say again.

“Sunshine, just grant Mikey that wish of you being happy. I know I make you happy.”

“Yes you do, but.” 

“No buts, unless it’s one of ours in the air. Justin, give me this chance. It’ isn’t your fault on what Mikey did, but it is your fault if you let what he did stop you from living your life to the fullest. Don’t let his death ruin your life.”

“Brian!” I say again. “Yes.” 

“I will do the best I can, I promise. But if you fucking hurt me, I will bury you next to your so-called best friend.  I loved him Brian and I gave him everything, if I do this with you, please don’t let it end like that.”

“First off, I don’t plan on cheating on you or killing myself. I’m too beautiful to die for any cause. I would die for you, but not FOR you or not because of mistakes. Shit! what am I trying to say?”

“That even though you would die for me, it would be to save my life. “ 

“Yes. That’s it.” He leans down and kisses me. 

“I can’t promise you that this will happen over night, but I will try my best. Getting over someone isn’t that fast, at least for me. I do have feelings for you, and I want to dig deeper into them, but it needs to be at a pace that’s good for us both.” 

“Sounds like a plan Sunshine.” 

For the next two days we’ve been getting closer. I’m slowly letting him into my heart and he is slowly showing me how he feels about me. Reading the letter every time I get worried, and see that Mikey wants me to be happy and he has given us his blessings to be together and be happy.

We were sitting on the couch watching Everyone Loves Raymond when there was a knock on the door. I get up and slid it open to see a man in a business suit. 

“The man downstairs let me in on his way out. Sir, I need to get something that was delivered here by accident. It wasn’t supposed to get here for another year when the person it’s addressed to will be back from Paris.” 

“Umm what letter?” I ask him.

“It was addressed to a Justin Taylor. The man who wrote it brought it in and paid top dollar to make sure it gets to Mr. Taylor in a year when he returns home.” My mouth went dry and I felt like Iwas going to fall over. 

“Are you talking about this one?” I take it out of my pocket and hand it to him.

“Yes sir. But you opened it.” The man tells me.

“It wasn’t supposed to get here for a fucking year?” I say for more myself then anyone.

“Yes sir. He paid us top money. Telling us he was leaving the country and wanted to leave something for Mr. Taylor in case he doesn’t return.” 

Brian comes over behind me and wraps his arms around me. “What’s wrong Sunshine? Who are you and what did you say to him?” He looks at the man in the suit.

*************************
“I was just telling him that there was a letter sent here by accident for a Mr. Taylor that wasn’t supposed to be delivered until next year. But he opened it. Sir, do you realize that it’s against the law to open mail that isn’t addressed to you?”

“It’s not illegal to open something if that something that is addressed to him.” I feel myself getting angry.

“He’s Mr. Taylor?” The man asks pointing to Justin. 

“Yes he’s Justin Taylor. Get out of here.” Justin walks over and sits down.

“Sir?” 

“Look, the man who paid you to send that letter NEXT FUCKING YEAR was his lover who killed himself the same day he arranged this little fucking charade. We just got him over this and moving on, and now this is going to fucking set him back. Knowing that his ex boyfriend, who killed himself, wanted him to suffer for a fucking year.”

“I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t know.”

“I know, sorry to yell at you. Just that, damn, he doesn’t need this on his mind now.” I look over at Justin.

He is sitting there looking at the letter. I look back to the guy and smile. “I hope you aren’t expecting a tip.”

“I’m not, I just feel bad for this. If there is anything I can do.”

“Just show yourself out. Here.” I hand him a five, “You did come over yourself to try to do what you thought was right. Have to respect that” He nods his head and hands it back. 

“Its ok sir, I should have asked his name first.” I nod and as he leaves I slide it into his jacket. Smiling knowing I always fucking win. 

I walk over to Justin and sit next to him as he stares at the letter in his hand.

“Justin. It doesn’t change anything.” 

“Yes it does. It changes every fucking thing.” He said looking from me to the letter again “Everything”