Thx again to my wonderful beta Britt and to the girls. This may seem like the end but there is still one more chapter to come.<hr>



Justin POV:

“Justin, what are you talking about?” Brian asks me.

“I said it changes everything” I whisper, looking down at the letter that I have now read close to a hundred times.

“Justin, you’re scaring me. What has to change?” He asks me again.

“Brian, don’t you understand? He didn’t want me to move on for a fucking year. He wanted me to suffer. How the hell do you say you love someone so much, that you kill yourself and WANT them to suffer? It makes no fucking sense to me Brian.”

“I know Justin. It doesn’t.” He tells me.

“So why the fuck am I suffering?” I start to cry again.

“Because you loved him and to find out about this hurts” He whispers from behind me.

“Brian, I know if I gave him another chance he would still be here, but after this shit” I throw the letter down, “I can’t believe he would do this. I mean hell, killing himself that he knew would hurt me and then he actually…fuck Brian” I scream out. 

“Justin, I know this is hard to digest but this is what he wanted.”

“I know, fuck Brian, I loved him so fucking much. How can you say you love someone and then to turn and do what he did? It’s going to change everything” I pick up some water and take a drink.

“What is going to change?” He asks me again.

“Brian, I am not going to just sit here and wallow in his pity. It’s what he wants. At first, hell yes I was doing that but after finding out the man I loved WANTED me to suffer puts a new perspective in my life. I am fucking moving on and letting him go. I am through wallowing and through crying over him.” I say crying.

“Ok, maybe after this cry” He pulls me into a hug.

After my ‘last cry’ I went to wash my face. I walk out and stand there watching Brian look out the window. 

“Brian,  I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, he was your best friend.” 

“Justin, don’t you fucking apologize for Michael’s actions. I am just as pissed at him for doing this. But not to me, for what he did to you. Justin I can deal with what he did to me. I am just pissed that he is pissing you off like this.” 

“Brian, look, I’m pissed because after everything he still has a way to get to me. I know I said it changes everything, but  can we talk about this?” 

“Of course.” Brian says as takes me over to the couch where we sit down.

“Ok, I want to continue what we have. I promise to try not to hold back. Yes, I am fucking terrified that you will hurt me somehow, or kill yourself even though you told me that you wouldn’t do that over a person. I never thought Mikey would either. I am going to move on. Let him go. Or do my best to do that. I can’t promise I won’t freak out about this every once in awhile. Just give me some time to get used to it.” 

<b>Six Months Later</b>

Brian and I have been together for six months now after the suicide of Mikey. He’s been really patient with me with my freak outs and my ‘one last cries’ 

We are sitting here watching Dirty Dancing and I get up to get some water, coming back in I see Brian watching the part where baby and Johnny are in the dance hall. I put the drink down and go in front of the TV. Mimicking what they say on the movie. 

I point to Brian “How do you call your lover boy” 

Brian looks up. “Come here lover boy” Smirking.

“And if he doesn’t answer” I smile back.

“Oh lover boy” he rushes out to me, grabbing my arm. 

“And if he STILL doesn’t answer” I lean over.

“I simply say, Baby “ and he pulls me into a kiss.

I pull back and put my head to his. “Brian” I whisper.

“Yes Sunshine”

“I’m horny” I smirk as he laughs. 

“Fuck don’t scare me like that. So you’re horny. Want me to help?”  He looks at me and I nod my head.



Brian POV:

I stand up, taking Justin with me as I just look into his eyes. I could stare at him forever.

Ever since that letter and finding out Mikey’s intentions with it, Justin has opened up to me more and I love what I have found out about him. How he smiles in his sleep and wakes up with a hard on. Or, how he smells after a shower or before a shower. I love the little things about him.

He always seems to shock me and he’s always making me blush with his way of fun. I won’t admit to blushing, but I do. Alone with him I do. The family have seemed to make up with Justin. They’ve never blamed Justin but only now Justin believes them.

Justin has even started talking to Ben, funny how tragedy brings people closer. He doesn’t blame Ben anymore. After making them talk about things, they find out that they share a lot in common and not only a dead lover.

Anyway, back to the present. I lay Justin on the bed and tear off his pants since we already removed our other clothes 

I hear him moaning as I kiss his stomach. He runs his hands through my hair. I reach over to grab a condom and the lube and place the condom on him. He looks up at me. 

“I want to feel you inside me Sunshine” He smiles at me. 

I get pulled down into a kiss and then he rolls me over, getting between my legs and licks down, taking me into his mouth. After he prepares me, I feel the head of his dick pushing in. “Oh god I fucking love that feeling” 

“Shit so tight Bri” Justin tells me

“Fuck me Sunshine.” I grunt through clenched teeth.

He starts to pound into me and I lose track of if it’s day or night and at the moment I don’t fucking care. I have my baby inside me, searching my insides for his buried treasure.

Before I could react I let out a scream “SHIT!” 

I look up to Justin and smile. “Feels so fucking awesome. Shit, fuck Sunshine, fuck me” I can’t believe I am begging someone to fuck me, it’s always been the other way around. 

He leans over and starts to stroke my hard cock and if I thought it couldn’t get better, it did. God! To have him in me, stroking me, nothing fucking better. He leans over and bites on my neck. Fuck, wrong again. 

He strokes with his thrusts and I feel like this is heaven. I look up at Justin’s face and he has his head tilted back and his mouth open. No, that is fucking heaven right there. He’s my fucking angel.

I feel him jab a few times at my prostate and before I knew it, we were both shooting our loads. 

Justin leans over onto me and kisses me. “Shit” He starts to chants “Shit shit shit” “That was fucking awesome.”

“Yes it was. Damn Justin, you  really know how to make me fucking beg.” He smiles at that.

“I like it when you beg, it’s so fucking hot.” He lies down next to me once he threw the condom in the trash can. 

“I’ll remember that” I laugh with him as he snuggles up to me. This is something else I haven’t done with anyone else. 

“Brian” He starts to say.

“What Jus?” I ask him.

“Thank you” 

“For what?”

“For letting me do this at my own pace.” 

“Sunshine, listen to me. I would wait forever for you. I love you. I know that those words get thrown out around a lot and can mean nothing to some but for me to say them to you, I mean them more then my own life means to me.”

“I know you do. And I can say I love you too without any hurt from the Michael thing. Yes, it gets to me sometimes, but I know that you are not like him.” He kisses my chest. 


Justin POV:

I’m being shaken and screaming out Brian “Justin, fucking wake up” I open my eyes and realize that I’m being held by Brian, who has a bloody nose. 

“Justin, are you awake?” I look back up to him with tears in my eyes. “What the fuck is going on with you?” He asks me. I get up and move away. 

“Justin?” He comes up behind me and I move away. “I can’t fucking do this Brian. He’s fucking with me in my damn dreams. Every time I get happy he has to fuck with me somehow.” I start to cry as he moves closer. 

“Tell me what the fuck happened.” He demands.

“I don’t want to talk about it” I tell him

“Well to fucking bad. When something messes up my looks you better believe we’re gonna talk about it. Now talk.” 

“I was just dreaming” 

“No shit Sherlock. And you said Mikey was in it?” 

“Ya, he was telling me that I can’t be happy. That I’m the reason he’s dead. He told me that no matter how happy I am with you that the death of him will always be in between us.” 

“You know that’s not true.” He runs a hand down my cheek and I move away.

“I’m sorry. I know he’s dead but fuck! Brian he was my lover, and your best friend.”

“But at the time he wasn’t your lover.”  

“I know. Brian listen to me. He is fucking right on so many things.”

“No he isn’t. Okay tell me why it got violent”

“He said that he won’t let us be happy and that I was nothing but a slut and that I never loved him or cared for him because I have moved on and that he won’t forgive me for what has happened. I told him that it wasn’t my fault and he went to swing at me and I swung back and I guess that’s when I hit you. I didn’t mean to do that, I thought you were him.”

“Yeah, I was trying to wake you up when you swung. You just saying ‘No Mikey’ and that’s when you swung.”

“Yeah, he was hitting me in the dream. He was laughing at me for being such a drama queen.” I wipe away my tears.

“Justin I want you to listen to me. Now, you are going to come with me right now. Let’s go. Get dressed.”

After getting dressed Brian drives up to the grave and I look at him, as he takes my hand.

We walk over to the grave and Brian let’s go of me. He kicks the tombstone. “Wake up you fucker and listen to me. You are going to stop messing with Justin. He is alive and you are fucking dead, so be dead and leave us alone. You left him, no you left us and we have grieved the right amount of time and you wanted him to suffer for a fucking year. You asshole. Now look, Justin was nothing but good to you so do something in return and let him be happy.” 

I look at Brian. He thinks I’ve lost it? 

“Mikey, look we both loved you, but you left us. We are happy together, let us be happy. I promise you that no more harm will come to him, but if you keep messing with him, harm will come to me with him punching at you but hitting me and then I will even be more pissed at you. When we remember you at least let it be with happy times and no violence.” He bends down. “I love him Mikey. Please let me love him like he should be loved and let him feel free to love me like I know he does. I am not a begging man, but I am begging this of you.”

He pulls me to him and hugs me. “Go ahead Justin.” He moves away from me.

I lean down and touch the stone. “Mikey, he’s right. I loved you more then anyone but you are gone. Please let me be happy. Let me move on without the hurt or guilty feelings. I need him Mikey. I need to move on. I grieved for you; I did in more ways then one. I will always love you, but you are gone. Let me love him in peace.” I look up to Brian who nods his head. 

“Mikey, he’s a great man and he makes me smile and laugh. If you loved me, please, let me go so I can let go and be happy too.” 

Brian gets behind me. “If you loved him as much as you told me you did, let him be happy, let me make him happy. At least with me you know he’s safe” 

We stand there a few minutes before getting up and going back to the car. As I get in I turn around and see Mikey standing there, with a look on his face, but I can’t tell what it is, as  soon as I blink he disappears. 

I get into the car, looking at the grave once more as Brian pulls away. I hear the voice I heard so many times in the past saying ‘I love you Justin.” I look back and see Mikey smiling at me.