By April 11th, the Titanic was steaming west off the coast of Ireland. It was a beautiful sunny Thursday afternoon, with not a cloud in the sky. There was barely a breath of wind on deck so many passengers decided that it was the perfect time for a stroll. Many people mingled together; talking about things like the weather and what they planned on doing once they docked in New York City; but not one of them spoke outside of their class status. Justin was sitting at the stern of the ship, on the port side. Daphne was posing for him as he sketched her lying on a bench with her hand drawn up over her face in one of those glamour poses that the silent film actresses of the time did. As his hand went over the sheet of paper, he was so consumed in his work that he didn’t even notice the person standing over him. “Nice work.” The voice said. Justin looked up in surprise. “Huh… oh. Thanks.” “I’m Michael. Michael Novotny.” Michael held out his hand to Justin. “Justin Taylor.” And a voice from the bench stated: “Daphne.” She winked. “Nice to meet ya.” “So,” Michael began, “where are you headed after we land in America?” “Well, me and Daph are pretty much… homeless.” Justin laughed at his own misfortune. “I suppose we’ll just travel around, like we have been for that last couple years.” He glanced from his work to Michael, and back to his work again. “So what do you plan to do?” Michael sighed. “Well, my uncle Victor had been traveling around Ireland, when we got word that he had fallen ill. So me and my mother traveled there to bring him home.” “Oh, that doesn’t sound fun at all.” Justin looked back up with a face of concern. “Is he going to be alright?” “Well, ma say’s he’s already feeling better, being on the sea and all.” Michael bent down and knocked on the deck. “This ship is the sturdiest ever built yet, you know.” “Yes, of that I am sure. But all of this ‘unsinkable’ talk is bullshit. If you ask me, I do think it foolish to play God.” “Ma would agree with you on that one.” Just then out of nowhere Daphne shouted in a pissed voice. “Justin, I do not intend to lie here all day long. If you would please continue?” “You mind if I sit with you?” Michael asked. “I don’t mind. But watch out.” He whispered in Michael’s ear. “Daphne is vicious. I’ve been seriously contemplating her sanity over the years.” They both laughed. “I heard that Justin!” Daphne screamed. They all burst into hysterical laughter. *************** Brian sat in the first class dining room, barely touching his lunch. He had way too much on his mind to even think about eating. The events that played out the night before with Justin were wonderful. But the events following were a reminder of his own status in the lives of the people around him. The Heart of the Irish was a cold stone; a dog collar that made him mindful of his duty as a member of the Kinney family. When he placed his fork on the plate before him, he felt a burning in his heart as he watched all the couples around him enjoying each other’s company. The way they stared at each other lovingly; he wished he could have that. As their lunches were taken away, and people began to pile out of the dining area, Brian didn’t move. He just sat there, staring into nothingness. Joan and Christopher made their way out the double exit doors, as Claire walked steadily behind. As they walked down the promenade deck, Joan broke the silence. “Christopher, darling, as you know, I have been quite fearful of the way my dear Brian has been acting as of late.” “Yes, Joan. I know.” “Well, I was wondering if you might be willing to keep an eye out for Brian.” “Oh, why yes. I would be pleased to do anything for you. I also have that valet I hired while we stopped in Ireland, so I’ll put him to good use tomorrow after the dinner party.” “Good.” They walked the rest of the way down to their staterooms arm in arm. Back in the dining room, Brian was becoming annoyed at the glares he was getting from the cleaning crew. Before anyone near him could ask if he wanted anything, he made sure he was on his way back to his room. On his walk back, he realized even more then ever that he was trapped. He knew in his heart where he wanted to be… and he was pretty sure he knew with whom. But his social structure just would not allow it. So he walked back feeling depressed, more then ever before. The light that he once had in his eyes the day before was slowly dimming. It was only a matter of time before it burned out completely. ******************** It was well after five in the evening as Justin was finishing his sketch of his new found friend, Michael. Daphne was sitting back on the bench that Justin had immortalized her on, reading a book with the name ‘Futility’ emblazoned across the front cover. The late afternoon sky brought out a myriad of colors, and the setting sun shone on them, giving the three of them a golden glow. Michael leaned over Justin's pad of paper and stared down into his own charcoal eyes. “Justin, your work is exquisite. Ma would love you.” “I’d really like to meet her.” Justin said while glancing back and forth from Michael to the drawing, giving it his finishing touches. “She sounds very… interesting.” He gave off his sunshine smile. “Oh, let me tell you what a nightmare it is dealing with her sometimes. She is defiantly a modern day woman.” Michael made sure to use the word defiantly in place of definitely, just to make certain he would get his point across. “Still, she sounds like my kinda gal.” Justin said, still smiling. “You guys!” Daphne closed her book, and put it down. “Are we just planning to sit here and talk all night?” she began to prance around the deck. “I want to go dancing… “ “Well, Justin,” Michael began, “I guess now is the best opportunity to meet my mother.” He grabbed Justin and Daphne both by the hands. “Come on!” ********************** The room was dark as Brian sat at his vanity. He’d been sitting in the same place all afternoon after lunch, just sitting, and staring at his reflection. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He didn’t bother to answer. “Brian, dear?” Joan let herself in. She gasped in surprise when she saw Brian sitting at the vanity after she turned the lights back on. Brian didn’t bother to answer her. Joan walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Brian, dear.” She began. “It’s dinner with the Countess of Rothes. Come now. Get dressed in your dinner attire.” She patted his shoulder before making her way to the door. She stopped, however, when she heard Brian mutter something. “No…” Brian muttered. “What was that Brian?” she had a look of annoyance across her face. “I said. NO.” this time his voice was strong. “Brian, don’t you dare think of embarrassing me in front of the Countess.” She stood her ground. “Now go and dress yourself.” She thought for a moment before continuing. “Or must I fetch Christopher’s valet?” “No.” he finally decided to just give in. it was futile he thought, fighting with her about it. “Good.” She relaxed her face. “Now hurry and dress yourself. We do not want to be late.” She turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind her. “GOD, help me!” Brian shouted as he dressed. This was a nightmare. He knew he wanted out more then ever… but there was no way out. As he slipped on his topcoat, he noticed The Heart of the Irish that was placed on the dresser. He picked it up and slipped it into his pocked before leaving the room. ***************** “I’m going to call you Sunshine!” the boisterous redhead shouted at Justin as she took a swig of her ale. Justin began to laugh at the way the woman downed her drink, just like a man would. “Just look at that smile… like a ray of sunshine, I tell ya!” “That’s what my mom used to call me.” Justin laughed again at the sight of the woman. She reminded him so much of his own mother. She had the same attitude about things. She was a modern woman. “And boy can you draw!” she pointed a finger directly at him. “You had better put it to good use, young man. A talent like that… it’s a rare thing.” “Would you like me to draw a portrait of you, Mrs. Novotny?” She just looked at Justin with a face that said, ‘hell no’. “Use the younger folk for inspiration. You don’t want to have to sit in front of an old hag for hours on end, drawing all of these wrinkles.” She brushed her fingers against her face, emphasizing her point. “And please, call me Debbie.” “Alright Debbie, whatever you say.” Justin could see that she was plastered. Before Debbie could say another word, Michael came up to the table. “Ma, would you please stop torturing him?” “I’m just talkin’ to the kid! And it’s not as if I'm holding him down! God Michael!” “Come on ma. I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.” “Will you stop it Michael! I’m fine. Let me have my fun!” Michael grabbed his mother from under her arms and hoisted her out of her seat. “Where are we going? Where are you taking me?” Debbie began flailing around in Michael’s arms. “We’re going to another party.” Michael lied as he helped her stand on her own. “Oh, ok then.” “I’m sorry, Justin.” Michael started to say as Debbie began dancing in place. “She’s so worried about my uncle that she drinks herself silly.” “Don’t worry Michael. My mother went through the same thing after father left her.” Justin said in a reassuring voice. “I understand.” “Maybe we could meet here tomorrow night.” Michael suggested. “There are supposed to be some Irish festivities here tomorrow around nine.” “Alright, sounds good.” “See you then Justin.” Michael said as he pulled his mother close, helping her out into the corridor leading to her room. “Night Sunshine.” Debbie shouted after blowing him a kiss and laughing her ass off. Justin waved to her and despite her being drunk, she was a riot, he thought. After regrouping with Daphne, Justin decided that he needed some air. “Hey Daph?” “Yeah?” Justin pulled her close so he could whisper in her ear. “I’m going up deck. I want to see if maybe Brian is there.” Daphne gave him an amused look. “Alright. Do you want me to wait up for you?” “No, that’s alright.” With that, Justin grabbed his sketchbook, and began his trek up to the decks above. ******************** Brian sat at the table in the dining room. He glanced around briefly before looking back down at his plate. Joan and Christopher were laughing together, while the countess regaled them with some boring story. Brian just continued to stare at his plate, barely listening to the inconsequential babble around him. Brian felt as if his whole life was just constant repetition. He felt he’d seen his whole life as if he’d already lived it… an endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches… always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. He felt as if he was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull him back, no one who cared… or even noticed. No one even noticed as Brian took the tiny fork from his crab salad and began poking it at his arm under the table. He continued to do it, harder and harder, until it began to draw blood. Brian grabbed a napkin, covering the wound on his arm and got up from his place at the table without being noticed. Everyone was too involved in his or her own life to notice him. That is, unless they needed him for something. Brian walked along the corridor outside of the dining area on B-Deck. A steward coming around from the other way greeted him. Brian just nodded, with a slight smile across his face. He was perfectly composed; not a thing looked out of place. When Brian finally turned the corner, coming to the B-Deck promenade, he noticed he was alone, and dropped to the floor while tears began to pour down his cheeks. He pulled his legs to his chest as he sobbed, feeling emotions he had never felt before. All of a sudden, Brian got to his feet and ran as he began shaking with emotions. He was angry. He was angry with his mother, he was angry about his situation, and most of all, he was angry with himself for letting it get to this point. He ran on, nothing crossing his mind, no clear thoughts could. He was furious. Emotions that had been bottled up for years came pouring out of his eyes as tears. He hated his situation, and he hated himself. A strolling couple watched him pass, gasping at the emotional display in public. Brian didn’t care. Why should he have? It didn’t matter to him. Not anymore. ******************* Justin looked up into the stars above, thinking artist thoughts while singing. “Come Josephine, in my flying machine, going up, she goes, up, she goes…” he began to think of Brian, and what they had said. ‘So. What did you wish for?’ he had asked Brian. Justin remembered the look of sadness wash over Brian and could see the sparkle in his eyes dim at the question. ‘Something I can’t have.’ Justin was pulled out of his thoughts at the sudden sound of footsteps on deck. He looked up over the back of the bench he was sitting on and saw a slender man running to the stern of the ship. When he squinted his eyes to get a better look, he realized that it was Bria ********************* Brian came to a complete stop as he reached the end of the ship. After bending over to look into the sea before him, Brian gripped the edge of the railing, and hoisted himself over, seemingly without any effort. As he positioned himself on the other side of the railing, he turned around to face the ocean. He was completely unaware of the blond that was right behind him the entire time. He took a last breath, as he was about to let himself fall into the water below, but stopped when he heard an angelic voice say: “Don’t do it!” “Justin!” Brian was surprised that Justin was there. “Brian…” Justin begged. “Please, don’t do this. Whatever it is, you can talk with me about it… just, please, don’t do this.” “Why not?” Brian yelled. “I am nothing.” “That’s not true at all.” Brian closed his eyes as his skin was brushed with a cool wind. “Then… what am I?” he turned to Justin, his face wet with fresh tears. “Can a bird fly without wings? Can a fish live out of water?” he began to sob as he continued. “I am isolated from everything, Justin. I am not even free to make my own decisions without my own mother’s approval.” Brian looked back into the water; his head hung low, tears falling into the sea. “I am being forced to marry someone I don’t even know, at least, not outside of dinner parties and what my mother has told me of her.” Justin tried to stop himself but he could not help but laugh at what he was thinking. “You were sent to the wrong address…” Brian, actually finding the humor in what Justin said, answered, “That’s for damn sure.” Justin walked closer to Brian, pulling him around, and bringing him into a tight embrace. “You are much stronger then you realize, Brian.” He pulled back to look him in the eyes. Brian’s were closed. “Look at me, Brian.” Brian slowly opened his eyes, and looked directly into the deep blues before him. “You don’t want to do this Brian… it will prove nothing.” Brian nodded in defeat, and pulled himself over the railing. Once he gained his footing, he grabbed Justin tightly and whispered into his ear. “Thank you… not only for pulling me back, but for your discretion.” He lowered his head onto Justin's shoulder and began to sob lightly. Justin pulled them over to a nearby bench and sat him down. They sat there for a while, Justin combing his fingers through Brian’s hair. “Justin?” “Yes, Brian?” Justin's voice was soft. “Do you believe in love?” Justin was somewhat confused by Brian’s question. “Yes, I do. Why? Don’t you?” Brian looked out into the night sky, spotting a shooting star. “I do now.” Those were Brian’s last words as he pulled Justin into a kiss. They both hesitated at first; stopping to look into each other’s eyes, before delving into one another’s mouths, locking together in a tight embrace. Brian nibbled at Justin's bottom lip before locking together with him for one last kiss. “I wish we could stay like this forever, Brian. Just you and I and the stars.” Brian looked up to the stars. “Maybe one day it can be that way. Maybe… some day.” As Justin rested his head on Brian’s shoulder, Brian was thinking about the rest of his voyage to America, and how bad things could get if someone was to find out about what was going on between himself and a certain third class blond boy. “Justin?” “Yeah?” “Would you like to join me tomorrow at dinner?” “Is that allowed?” Justin was a bit perplexed at the invite. He thought third class passengers weren’t allowed to enter without special permission. Then he thought about the suit he had back in his room, and the day before. “It’s allowed now.” Brian had a smirk cross his face as he thought of pissing off his mother in front of all her high society friends. He kissed Justin one last time before taking his hand and pulling him up.