-------------------------------

BRIAN

I was at the desk working when Justin walked out of the bedroom. He was dressed in his usual cargo pants, t-shirt and tennis shoes. I was hoping that my sense of style would eventually rub off on him but it hadn't so far. Although, I wasn't complaining, Justin had a way of looking sexy in almost anything. 

He bounced over to me, leaned across my back, and wrapped his arms around my neck laying his face next to mine. I minimized the screen so he couldn't see what I was working on.

"What are you doing?" he asked kissing me on neck.

"Trying to buy stock in a grocery store," I teased. "You are about to eat me into bankruptcy."

Justin's throaty laughter floated around me, "You didn't complain about me eating you this morning," he breathed in my ear.

I thought about our marathon session from last night and this morning. My ass was still sore. I knew Justin's ass was probably humming from the vigorous workout I had put him through. Together Justin and I had a sexual appetite that was almost insatiable. I turned, ushered Justin around, pushed my chair back, and pulled him in my lap. 

"Maybe I need a little reminder of this morning," I told him as my lips captured his in a heated kiss.

I caressed the inside of his mouth with my tongue. I wondered if I would ever get enough of Justin. I was addicted to him. I was addicted to his taste, his smell his touch. I loved the feel of his skin sliding against mine. I loved the way he smelled during and after sex. I loved the way he tasted. I loved tasting his cum running down my throat. Damn! I was ass whipped. If he ever found out, I'd never win another disagreement.

Justin leaned back from the kiss. His sunshine smile plastered on his face. He touched his forehead to mine. "Damn I wish we had more time, but we don't. I promised Daph I'd have lunch with her today."

I slapped him on his hip. "Well get going." I raised my eyebrows suggestively, "Don't make any plans for the evening," I said huskily.

"We already have plans...remember? We are invited to the GLC awards ceremony."

I let out an aggravated moan, "You mean the GLC's fundraiser cleverly disguised as an awards ceremony. I didn't go to the damn ceremony when they were offering me one of their dickless awards. Why the hell would I want to go tonight?

"Because Eve is getting an award and because she asked us to attend and because you had your tuxedo cleaned and you bought me a new one. AND don't forget Stockwell is expecting you. You have to maintain the charade of support for a little longer."

I grunted, "Yeah, whatever."

He had the nerve to laugh at my defeat. He softened it with a quick kiss. "I've gotta go. Daph's waiting. Then we are going to stop by Eve's. I'll be back in a few hours."

I slapped his ass as he bounced away from me. "Be good," I said as I watched him leave.

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a sexy grin, "Aren't I always?"

I had to smile. Yes he was. He pulled the door shut. I let out a sigh. We were all taking turns watching over Eve, whether she liked it or not. Most of the time she mumbled that we treated her like a child. That was because she was stubborn and didn't seem to realize that she was fighting a disease that had the potential of being terminal. It had been difficult giving Eve our help. Eve fought against our intervention but we presented a united front. It didn't take long to persuade her to our way of thinking. We had worked out a schedule. Daphne had more time so she spent the most time with Eve, then Justin and I were the fallback person.

I had gotten a copy of Eve's schedule from Shirley. I had no idea how Eve was able to keep up with her hectic schedule while she had been ill. It was a difficult schedule for a healthy person. The first thing I did was called and made sure that no personal appearances would be scheduled without my knowledge. The second thing I did was to make sure Ty would no longer be responsible for setting up any appearances without getting prior approval from me. The third thing I did was cancelled half of her personal appearances. I knew that would piss Ty off but I didn't give a fuck. From the looks of Eve's daily agenda, he had been over scheduling her for months. No wonder she was exhausted. 

She had a personal appearance at the GLC that I had been trying to get her to cancel, because she also had a personal appearance to help raise money for a homeless shelter for the same day. I tried to get her to cancel one or the other. She refused. Not only did she refuse to let me cancel one of the appearances she got tickets for everyone to attend the GLC awards ceremony. I tried to bow out using one excuse after the other but I wasn't able to. Plus Stockwell had been invited to speak and he was adamant that I attend. He wanted me standing by his side as proof that he was not Anti-gay or homophobic.

I know how much it pained Justin to see me standing in what he called the enemy's camp but as long as I was on the inside Justin and I could gather all the information we needed to sabotage Stockwell's campaign. So far our efforts were paying off. Stockwell's lead was dwindling and he was now struggling to maintain the minimum lead he had. It wasn't easy keeping his lead and Justin and I were making sure of that. Justin's posters were attracting a lot of attention. A lot of the right attention. Last week an editorial was written focusing on the posters. Stockwell had been livid about the posters and demanded that I do something to stop them. He had tried to stop them legally but he was told that the posters were an expression of freedom of speech.

I had told Stockwell that the posters couldn't hurt his campaign unless he panicked and allowed it to happen. In actuality, the posters were hurting his campaign severely. People were paying attention to the posters and their content. People were looking more closely at what Stockwell was doing compared to what he was saying. People were realizing that Stockwell's words of acceptance and tolerance of all of Pittsburgh citizens didn't match his actions. That Stockwell's family friendly Pittsburgh didn't include many of its citizens.

I let out a sigh, stood up and stretched. It was Saturday and I was working on some ideas for my own business. I hadn't mentioned it to Justin but once the Stockwell election was over I was going to try to start my own business. I was trying to come up with a list of accounts that might follow me when I left Vanguard. It was a very short list.

I rubbed my neck. Going out on my own would be risky but if I didn't do it now I'd never do it. I had so much too lose but so much to gain. I also had to think about those that depended on me for support. Gus and Justin were my major concerns because they needed me; Justin more than Gus. If I failed financially, the munchers would be able to support Gus without my added financial support. They would have to cut back but Gus would be taken care of financially. Justin thought that he was supporting himself and he was to a degree, but if he was going to move back in with me his salary at the diner would barely cover the utilities and food bill. 

If it took awhile to get on my feet, financially the loft was paid for, I had my stock portfolio, and I had a little money in savings. Justin and I wouldn't starve if it took me awhile to get my business off the ground. We would just have to cut corners. 

I walked over and poured a drink. It was getting closer. I could feel it. I had been telling Stockwell for months to just ignore the posters they didn't mean anything but I don't know if he paid me any attention. I had suspicions that Stockwell had hired a private detective to try to find out who was hanging up the anti-Stockwell posters. I swallowed the JB and poured me another one to take back to the computer. I had a lot to do before tonight's ceremony. The expression *the shit hits the fan* ran through my mind. Something told me tonight was the night.

-----------------------------

EVE

I was irritable and I didn't care who knew it. I was nauseated and hadn't been able to keep anything on my stomach most of the day. I'd spent the morning doing a fundraiser for a homeless shelter. Justin and Daphne had stopped by and insisted that I take a nap. I tried but I just couldn't fall asleep. I ended up laying in bed until it was time to get ready for the award ceremony.

I had made a decision that I knew would be unpopular with the family. I had called Heather and told her about the cancer. I spent most of the call convincing her not to drop everything and fly to Pittsburgh. After she had calmed down we were able discuss options. Heather wanted me to agree to stop working until I had regained my strength. It seemed like the most reasonable solution. I couldn't continue like this. I would never admit it to Brian but he was right, the illness was taking a lot out of me. I needed rest. I needed time away from the radio show, TV show, and personal appearances. I needed some time where I didn't have to do anything but rest and follow the doctor's orders. I knew as long as I stayed in Pittsburgh that would never happen. I'd always agree to do a fundraiser, or benefit dinner or a personal appearance. I had to get away. My health...my life depended on it.

I let out a sigh and looked at myself. I was sitting at my vanity table piling on the make-up to hide the dark circles under my eyes and blotchiness of my skin. Daph was in the other bathroom getting ready for the awards ceremony. I knew my decision would hurt and anger her but hopefully she'd get over it and forgive me. It wasn't like I was leaving Pittsburgh permanently. I was only leaving for a few months at most. Just long enough to beat this illness and get well. I stared at myself. I looked tired. I couldn't go anywhere without make up now. I quickly and expertly applied my make-up. 


"You’re still not dressed. Do you need some help? Are you feeling okay?” I turned around to see Daphne fully dressed walking towards me. She was in a black silk cocktail dress. Her hair was pulled up into an elegant sweep and she was wearing 3-inch black satin sling backs. She looked absolutely beautiful.

"I'm fine. Stop fussing over me." I winked at her, "Looking good, girl."

She smiled from ear to ear. "Thanks. I'm so excited. I've never been to the GLC Outstanding Awards ceremony before,” she said excitedly.

I snorted, "If what Brian tells me is true you haven't missed anything."

She laughed as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Brian would say something like that. He hates the GLC."

I nodded, "Yeah I know." I turned around and finished my makeup. I kept sneaking glances at her. I decided to talk to her one on one.

I twirled around in my chair to face her, "Daph, I've always told you that you are special and how much I love you right?"

She looked puzzled, "Yeah. Why?”

I let out a deep sigh, "Daph, I've made the decision to leave Pittsburgh for a few months."

"Leave?"

"Yeah. Daph, I'm tired baby. Even with you, Justin and Brian helping me it's getting a little too much...the work, the personal appearances, the cable show, trying to hide my illness from the family...especially from Daddy."

"We will help you Eve! I mean can't you just quit your job and we'll take care of you. You don't have to leave Pittsburgh."

"Daph come her," I motioned for her.

She walked over, kneeled before me as I grabbed her hands, "Daph, I need to get away. I'm not trying to run away from you or the family. I just need some time to heal. If I don't get better in a few months I'll come back."

"Who will be with you? How will you manage without help?"

"Heather will be with me."

"I should have figured,” Daphne said sourly.

I lifted her chin on my finger and stared in her eyes. "Remember what I said to you. You are the most important woman in my life. I love you. Never forget that."

"Then why don't you take me with you? Why didn’t you choose me to take care of you?" She wailed.

I tenderly trailed a finger down her cheek, "If you leave and I leave everyone will start asking questions. It's just easier this way. I promise to call you everyday. And when I get back we will have the biggest private party ever...just you and me. I promise."

She looked steadily in my eyes. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know, maybe three or four months at the most. My doctor said I just have to give the treatment a chance to work. Then I'll be back and you and I will raise a little hell in Pittsburgh. First thing we will do is get Justin and Brian drunk and high and have them do something totally embarrassing.

That made her laugh. I continued. "The only thing that will keep me away is death and I'm not ready to die. Understand?"

I could tell by her expression Daph wanted to argue but she saw the determination in my features. For the time being, she let it go. 

"Okay, three months isn't that long, but if you aren't back in three months I'm telling the entire family and we are coming to get you."

I had a vision of my family with their flair for the dramatic and quirkiness storming in the condo or apartment Heather and I would be living in to bring me home. 

I laughed loudly, "I'll make sure that it will only be three months."

"I'm holding you to that," she choked with emotion before hugging me tightly.

I held her close for a few minutes before gently pushing her away. "I need to get dressed and you are ruining my make up."

She laughed as she fought back the tears. "Well hurry up so we won't be late." 

Daphne went to sit on the bed and I stood up to dress. I was going for shock value tonight. I was about to give the conservative GLC members a little shock. I slipped in to my black dress. Although the dress was loose and flowing, it barely brushed the top of my thighs. I slipped into a pair of black silk four-inch heels that fastened around my ankle. I checked my appearance in my full-length mirror.

"You look great,” Daphne complimented. 

I turned and smiled. "Thanks. It's getting harder and harder to look good these days."

"Well you are doing a great job,” she encouraged.

"Well then let's get the hell outta here. I have an award to accept."

I wished I had taken Brian's advice and declined the invitation to speak at the awards ceremony but I had some things that I had to say. The expression *the shit hits the fan* ran through my mind. Something told me tonight was the night.
-------------

I had a slight headache and all the talking, music and backstage activity wasn't helping my mood. I was wearing a long black cover over my dress. 

Brian was talking to Stockwell. I don't know what he was telling Stockwell but Stockwell was shaking his head in agreement. I still didn't understand how Brian could associate with that homophobic prick but that wasn't my business. I had to respect Brian and the decisions he made even if I didn't understand them.

Howard Bellweather had been on stage for close to 45 minutes. He was giving another one of his long-winded speeches. I barely listened to him. If there was ever a man that enjoyed the sound of his own voice it was Howard Bellweather. I heard applause and realized that Bellweather had finished his speech.

Tannis and Phillip walked on stage praising Bellweather. They introduced Chief Stockwell and he walked on stage. Brian came over to stand by me. He looked me over. I felt like I was under inspection.

“Well do I pass?” I asked irritably.

He had the audacity to laugh, “Not feeling too well, huh?”

I pursed my lips and didn’t answer. The asshole pulled me to him and hugged me holding me close to his long, muscular body. I inhaled deeply taking in the scent that was a unique mixture of Brian’s natural scent and his expensive cologne. Surprisingly his touch soothed me.

He leaned back and looked down at me. “You should have cancelled this ceremony. These dickless wonders are not worth your time.”

“I just need to do this tonight. Then I’ll slow down.” I took a deep breath. “Brian I need to talk to you.” I knew that I needed to include Justin in this discussion. “Bring Justin. It will save you from having to repeat what I tell you,” I teased.

Brian laughed, “You think you know soooo much.”

I smirked. He didn’t deny it. “Well, just be at my house tomorrow.”

“I will,” he promised. He kissed me on the forehead. “I better go out before they send a search party.”

I kissed him quickly. “Okay.” I held on to his fingers until he was too far away and his fingertips slowly slipped from my hand. I watched as he walked off stage.

I turned to listen to the last part of Stockwell’s. For a few minutes, I blocked out his voice. I could only here the distant muttering of the audience. My eyes fell on the table with my Daddy and family. They weren’t even pretending to pay attention to Stockwell’s speech. Daddy was whispering to Rodney. Deb was smacking on her gum as she held a conversation with Daph and Jennifer. Emmett was fidgeting and looking around the room. Ted looked like he was about to doze off. Michael had a blank far away expression on his face. I doubted very seriously if he even knew what Stockwell was saying. Ben was studiously listening to Stockwell like a good professor. Justin and Brian just looked happy and content. They both had a glazed expression on their face. I looked closer and I couldn’t see their hands. Then it hit me. They were probably giving each other a hand job. They were in public at an awards ceremony and they couldn’t keep their pants zipped and their hands to themselves. I chuckled to myself. 

A wistful smile lingered on my face. As I looked at Brian and Justin, I could only wonder at the kind of love they must share. Then it hit me I’d never have that type of love with another human being. Not this one sided love I had for Brian but the type of love Brian and Justin had where they both knew their feelings were returned. 

I let out a sigh of regret for the type of love I’d never experience and gave thanks for the type of love I did have and the people that did love me. These people were my family. The people I loved more than anyone else on this earth. 

I zoned back in and heard Philip’s annoyingly high-pitched voice introduce me. I ditched the long black coat I used to cover my outfit. I walked out on the stage. I heard the murmurs as the audience got a good glimpse of my dress or better yet lack thereof. I couldn’t help but smile. I accepted the award from a shocked Tannis and Philip and turned to address the audience. I sat the award on the podium and adjusted the microphone.

I looked around at the audience smiling into shocked, surprised and some supporting faces. I took a deep breath and began to talk. “I would like to thank the members of the GLC for inviting me here tonight. I don't feel as if I deserve the honor. There are just so many people in the Gay and Lesbian community that are more deserving of this award than I am. It is an honor to be here tonight and to be able to speak to you. I will assure you my speech will not be as long as our other honorees." The crowd laughed. "I guess it has always been easy for me to be outspoken and supportive of Gay rights. My mother was a lesbian; my father was Gay and my daddy is Gay. I have Gay family members and some of my dearest and closest friends are Gay. I didn't learn tolerance growing up, I learned something much more important. I learned love and acceptance. Tonight as I listened to the two other speakers, Mr. Stockton and Mr. Bedwetter…" I purposely mispronounced their name.

In the background Phillip whispered, "Stockwell and Bell-weather." 

I cut my eyes in annoyance at the interruption, "I stand corrected. As I listened to *Mr. Stockwell and Mr. Bell-weather,* in particular, I was struck by the thought that this center feels that there is a need for one person to be the social conscience for Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community. WHY? No group should need a separate conscious from the rest of society. We are all one people. Yes, there are those in our community; in our country that would try to make Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community second-class or even non-existence citizens, but those are their issues not yours. Mr. Bellweather has the right to think as he chooses but he does not have the right to impose those beliefs on every person in the Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community. Not everyone shares his beliefs and that too is their right. And Chief Stockwell can use as many fancy words as he wants and try to use as much camouflage as he can but the bottom line is quite simple...His family friendly Pittsburgh does not include the Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community. Anyone here tonight that can't see that might need to have a mental cleansing.

The only thing that Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender community should concern themselves with is lobbying to be accepted for who you are and all that it entails. Your lifestyle should not be put under a microscope and judged by a group of *holier than thou* people. My father once told me something that I try to live my life by. It was really simple. He said: ‘Be able to live with the person that stares back at you from the mirror.’ That's the goal I strive for every day of my life. 

As a straight woman, I don't apologize you the people I love. I never have and never will. As Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community why do you feel you should? Straight men and women have had porno sites, strip clubs, and houses of pleasures for years. Oral sex and sodomy have been a part of heterosexual mating from the beginning of time. It's nothing new and we have not tried to hide it. We do not apologize for it. The only time society wants to criminalize the acts are when they are associated with Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender community. That's sanctimonious and frankly hypocritical. If a straight person can look you in the eye and state they have never indulged in oral sex or sodomy, I say you may have just found a liar." There was applause and laughter.

"I don't allow one person or organization to dictate my sexual behavior. The laws of this land govern me. I follow those laws. Laws that violate my right as an individual to express myself and hinder me from living my life as I see fit are laws that I strive to change. I'm vain, egotistical, narcissistic, and sometimes totally promiscuous. I make no apologies for it. To be exact I am proud of it. I guess what I'm trying to say is if I decide to suck and fuck everyone in this room tonight," in the background, I heard Tannis and Phillip gasp. I continued speaking, "to have every orifice of my body infiltrated, and I should be able to as long as we are all consenting adults. No one should place his or her moral beliefs or restraints against me because of my decision. The decisions I make in my sexual life do not alter who I am or my obligations and my commitments to the things I believe in. 

I don't need the Howie Bellweathers or Jimmy Stockwells of the world dictating my moral behavior. Mr. Bedweather and Mr. Stockwell should concern them self with what they do each night. I’m sure neither man is a stranger to oral sex and sodomy.”
I hear Philips over dramatic gasp. I looked out at my family and they were all smiling encouragingly at me. I figured it was time to wrap up my speech.

“I don't need them in my bedroom or commenting on my sexual habits. Although I'm sure I could teach them a few tricks," a mixture of laughter and shock greeted my pronouncement. "Isn't freedom from censor what Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community have been fighting for all these years? To get the Moral Majority out of your bedrooms and the backrooms of private clubs? So tell me why would you allow one man and a *homophobic prick* to be your moral conscience and try to dictate your sexual behavior as you fight to get others out of it? There are enough people in the country that will try to judge you and apply their morals to you, your lifestyle. Do not give them more ammunition by helping them. I will fight for Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender Community to be treated as equal citizens. You are all Americans and deserve the rights and protections allocated to citizens but most importantly Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender or Straight we are all humans. That is the most important part of all of this. We are human beings and deserve to be treated with respect.” 

I looked around the room my eyes touching the audience. I lifted the sphere shaped frosted glass award. “I'd like to share this honor with my family and friends. My Daddy, My Aunt Deb, My cousin Michael, my friends Daphne, Emmett, Ben, Jennifer, Lindz, Melanie, Molly and Ted. But most importantly I'd like to dedicate this award to Justin Taylor and Brian Kinney. Two men whose love for each other almost ended in tragedy because our so called moral straight society couldn't stand to see two men express their feelings for each other. A society that allowed a homophobic would be murderer to walk away with a slap on his wrist. A society that would rather place blame on the victims of hate crimes than the assailants that perpetrate them. After all that they have been through...the pain, the censor, and the blame Brian and Justin still remain strong and true to whom they were. 

I raised the award, “So to Justin and Brian. Two men that live their lives openly and unapologetically. I commend each of you for your courage and strength. I also want to recognized my Daddy, Rodney, Emmett, Ted, Michael, Lindz, Melanie, Ben and all Gay, Lesbians, Bi-Sexual and the Transgender persons that are living their lives openly. While others try to hide who they are, what they are or try to assimilate into a so-called straight society you stand as symbols that you can be proud productive members of society. You are my heroes. Thank You. 

I walk off the stage to thunderous applause. I didn't get a standing ovation. There are Bedwetter and Stockwell supporters in the room, but the majority of the room is standing and applauding. It doesn't matter to me. I came to make a speech, to voice my beliefs, to stay true to myself and that is what I did. It was my way of allowing the *shit to hit the fan.*
------------------------------------
BRIAN

I can’t say that I was surprised that Eve wanted to leave Pittsburgh for a few months to rest. I will say that Justin and I tried hard to convince her to stay and let the family take care of her but she was adamant. She’d made up her mind and she couldn’t be persuaded to change it. Justin had been visibly upset that she was leaving but she promised to call us once a week. Justin was very concerned about how Daph would take Eve’s departure. In the end we agreed to keep her secret. We warned her that if she was not back in three months we were coming to get her.

My intercom sounded. I answered it. “What is it Cynthia?”

Her voice came through the intercom, “Vance wants to see you. He says immediately.”

“Yeah, tell him I’ll be there in five minutes.” I released the talk button and leaned back in my chair. I purposely waited ten minutes before leaving my office.

Vance’s assistant showed me in his office. Stockwell was standing near the window. His back was turned. He didn’t turn around as I came in and sat down. I knew something was up by the stoic expression on Vance’s face. I sat comfortably and met his hard stare. If he was waiting for me to break the silence or trying to make me uncomfortable he was wasting his time. After several minutes Vance tossed a folder to me.

“I think you will find these interesting,” he said tapping the folder.

I didn’t respond. I picked up the folder and looked through it. I didn’t let the shock register on my face. There were 6 pictures of Justin hanging up his Anti-Stockwell posters. In most of them he was alone. On some of them Daphne accompanied him. I was surprised there were no pictures of me. I glanced from the pictures and looked back up at Vance. There was no reason for me to pretend I didn’t know Justin he had been at the office many times and they had seen him at the GLC awards ceremony with me.

I raised an eyebrow, “Why are you showing me pictures of Justin? I know who he is.”

“Did you know he was doing this?” Vance asked.

I evaded the question, “I don’t keep up with Justin’s every move.”

Stockwell finally decided to turn around and join the conversation, “These poster are hurting my campaign. You should have been keeping up with your,” hesitated looking for the right word. Finally, distastefully he said, “boyfriend’s activities. His little antics could very well cost me the election.”

I shrugged nonchalantly, “I doubt a few posters have that kind of power.”

“I want you to make him stop,” Stockwell demanded.

My eyebrow went higher, “Excuse me.”

“You heard me Brian,” he hissed. “I want you to make him stop. Not only do I want you to make him stop, I also want you to set up a news conference where he sincerely apologizes for these posters and convinces the audience that he has changed his mind about me, my campaign and fully supports me.”

I couldn’t believe the gall of Stockwell. I laughed bitterly, “I doubt very seriously if I’ll be able to get Justin to do that. AND even if I could I wouldn’t. I respect Justin’s right to express his opinion in any way he sees fit.”

It was Vance’s turn to pipe into the conversation, “Well Brian you have a choice. You can either convince Justin to stop making these posters, issue a public apology and give his support to Stockwell or you can consider our partnership null and void and you are out of a job.”

It was my time to be surprised, “I’m a partner Vance.”

Vance gave me a malicious smile and tossed by contract to me one clause had been underline. As I read it Vance was more than happy to paraphrase it for me.

“In layman’s terms Brian, if you participate or have knowledge that one of our ad campaigns or one of our clients is being sabotaged and you do nothing to stop it you are basically in breach of contract. In this case you knowingly and possibly helped sabotage one of your clients campaigns. It’s more than a breach of contract, it’s a conflict of interest, not to mention your professional ethics are at question here. So, you have a choice Brian. You either convince Justin to agree to our demands or as Senior and controlling partner I’ll kick you out of this agency on your ass. Plus there is another consideration you need to make.” 

Vance’s cold smile should have been warning enough but it wasn’t. So I asked, “What other consideration?” 

“Your young friend Justin Taylor could suffer also. I know he is a student at PIFA. I think they would be very interested in knowing his activates of late.”

I shrugged, “Why would they care about his political choices. It has nothing to do with the school.”

“It does when he uses the university equipment and supplies to print up his political statements. I’m sure he didn’t have permission to print up his posters. That alone is grounds for suspension. And believe me Brian I will insist on his suspension. Your choices are quite clear Brian, you either agree to our terms or I’ll personally ruin you financially and blacklist you at every ad agency in this state, New York, Chicago, California and a few others.” Vance leaned back and smirked, “The ball is in your court, Brian.”

I looked at the determined expression on Vance’s face and the malicious smile plastered across Stockwell’s face and weighed my options. Was I willing to give up my career for a *piece of blonde boy ass?* Was I willing to let Justin sacrifice his education for his political beliefs? I knew that eventually the expression *the shit hit the fan* would happen, I just didn’t think it would happen so quickly.
-----------------------

JUSTIN

I was busing tables at the Diner. Unbeknownst to Brian I had picked up and extra shift. Brian had been fired over a week ago but we had yet to tell the family. Brian had told me Stockwell and Vance’s terms. I refused them. As promised I was suspended from school on some bogus trumped up charges. The bottom line Vance was a major contributor to their internship program. The school stated that I participated in behavior unbefitting a PIFA student and I used school resources with out explicit permission. Whatever the fuck. 

With everything going on with Eve’s departure Brian didn’t think the family needed the additional stress. We hadn’t talked a lot about it but I knew Brian was worried about money. He didn’t say anything to me and he never would but Brian had a very high maintenance lifestyle and I didn’t think he could go many months without replenishing his cash reserves. I shook off the thoughts and wiped down the table and took my tray to the counter. 

The bell over the door jingled and I barely glanced up. I was wiping down the counter when a guy sat down. I walked over to take his order. As I looked at him his face was vaguely familiar. I just couldn’t quite place it. For all I knew he was one of the faceless guys I’d fucked.

“Can I help you?”

“Hi, Justin.”

I didn’t know him but he knew my name. “Hi,” I muttered. I hoped this wasn’t another fuck that had tracked me down and thought we could be a couple.

“Ethan asked me to contact you.”

I pursed my lips. Now I could place the his face. He was at the lame ass party I had gone to during the time I was living with Ethan. He was one of Ethan’s stuck up ass friends. I shuddered. I didn’t want to be reminded of my stupidity of leaving Brian for lying ass Ethan.

“I’m not interested,” I said firmly and started to walk away.

“He’s in the hospital. He’s asking for you.” 

That stopped me in my tracks. I turned around and walked back to him. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He was in a car accident. I told him I’d come and find you. He really wants to see you. It is important to him.”

I looked at the guy. As much as I hated to admit it at one time I did have feelings for Ethan. I couldn’t see how it would hurt for me to see him at the hospital. I looked at the clock. I would be off in about an hour.

“Where is he?” I asked. Something told me I would regret it but I didn’t follow my instincts.

“Pittsburgh General.”

I nodded. “Tell him I’ll be there as soon as my shift is over. In about an hour or so.”
-----------------

They were releasing Ethan when I arrived at the hospital. He was a little banged up and bruised from the accident but other than that he seemed okay. One of his friends, Bernard was there to drive him home. I’m not sure how put I let Ethan guilt me into coming home with him. I made him understand that I could only stay for a few hours.

I helped Ethan to the couch in his apartment. Nothing had changed since I’d left. If anything it was worst. It didn’t look as if Ethan had cleaned the place in weeks… months. Brian and I had planned a movie and Pizza night. It felt like a date to me and I was really excited.

“I realized today that I didn’t have many true friends.”

I wanted to tell him I had warned him his little snooty music friends weren’t the dependable type but I didn’t. I wanted to ask what had happened to the guy I caught him fucking when we broke up but I did ask him. It was in the past. And it really didn’t matter to me. 

“Thank you for coming Justin.”

“You are welcome. I’d like to think that we can be friends,” I said honestly.

“So, do I.” Ethan said. “Where are you living now?” he asked. 

I knew what he really wanted to know was if I was living with Brian. “Daphne and I are roommates. I’m back with Brian.” I had to make sure he understood I was here only as a friend.

“I’m surprised that the two of you are back together…so soon.”

I could tell he wanted to say he was surprised that Brian had taken me back. I let it go. I wasn’t here to argue with Ethan. I was here to offer him support as a friend.
I helped Ethan get in bed. 

“Can I get you anything?” I asked. It didn’t seem as if he needed a lot of help. I thought he was just whining for attention but I didn’t want to be insensitive. 

“Maybe something to drink,” he said.

I looked in his refrigerator and noticed there was nothing in it. I had a little money. There was a store around the corner. Once Ethan was settled, resting and snoring loudly I left for the store. I checked my watch. I’d only give Ethan another hour or so then I was cutting out. He’d have to call one of his snobby ass friends. I had no intentions of missing my date with Brian.

I picked up some soda, a few microwave dinners, ice cream and chips. Unlike Brian, Ethan really wasn’t into gourmet food. I checked my pocket for my cell phone. I wanted to call and tell Brian I would be a little late. My cell phone wasn’t in my pocket. I knew I had it with me. I hoped I had left it at Ethan’s apartment. Brian had bought me the cell phone during the time we were living together. It was still apart of his account. Even after we broke up Brian continued to pay for it. It was the one thing that I felt kept me bonded to Brian during our break-up.

After I arrived back at Ethan’s apartment I checked for my cell phone. I found it by Ethan’s bed. That was unusual. I didn’t remember laying it there. I shrugged and checked the caller ID. Brian had called earlier. 

Ethan looked up from under the shabby comforter he was covered in, “You had a call. I told him you had gone for groceries,” he grumbled and rolled over and started snoring again.

Shit! I didn’t like the sound of that. Worst I didn’t know what must have been going through Brian’s mind. I tried his number and got the voice mail. I left a message and decided to be helpful and clean up Ethan’s apartment a little. After a little over an hour and not return call from Brian I tried Brian’s number again. He answered on the second ring.

“What the fuck do you want Justin?” He asked irritably.

I was shocked at the anger in his voice. “Brian let me explain,” I started only to be cut off.

“What’s to explain,” he snapped. “Can you tell me you aren’t with the Fiddler?”

“Yes, I’m here but...”

The telephone clicked in my ear. Brian had hung up in my face. The shit had really hit the fan.


DAPHNE

Eve and I were having our last day together. It had been a whirlwind week. Between taping her last cable show, taping a few radio shows to be aired in her absence and just calming down the family it had been hectic.

Unfortunately, it was showing on Eve’s face. In makeup no one would guess Eve was sick. She had become a master at hiding the signs of her illness with perfectly applied makeup. Today she was without makeup and the signs were clearly visible. I had tried to confide my fears to Justin but he accused me of being a drama queen. He had never seen Eve without the makeup, I had. Today she looked so tired and worn out. Regardless to how much I wanted her to stay in the Pitts if leaving for a few months meant she would come back rested, healthy and energized I was more than happy to support her decision.

I had come over to help her finish with packing but there wasn’t much to do. Deb and Vic had been over all week helping her pack. Her Dad and Rodney were coming by later for dinner and then they would be by tomorrow to take her to the airport. 

Eve had told the family that she was worn down and she needed a little rest. She said she was taking a few weeks off to travel with Heather and she’d keep in touch. She thought it would be easier to wait before she actually told them the few weeks were actually a few months. She said after a month she’d call and tell them she was extending her stay. She told me it would be easier for everyone to accept and it would cut down on the number of questions she would be asked.

We had ordered a veggie Pizza, hot wings, fried veggies, chocolate ice cream and cola. I had eaten most of it. Eve had a slice of pizza, some veggies and a little of the ice cream. It wasn’t much but it was more than I’d seen her eat in quite awhile.

She was lying on the couch now with her eyes closed. I knew she wasn’t asleep because every so often I’d hear her let out a long drawn out sigh.

“Are you okay, Eve?” I asked after her last drawn out sigh.

“Yeah, just a little tired. Thinking about how much I’m going to miss everyone while I’m gone, especially you.”

I stared into the flames of the fireplace, “I’m going to miss you too.”

Eve rolled over on her side so she could look directly at me. “You have my cell number, call me any time. I’ll answer. I promise,” she said sincerely.

I smiled and reached over and squeezed her hand. We were silent for a little while. We both stared into the flames. The ringing of my cell phone broke the silence. I clicked in on. “Yeah,” I answered.

“He hung up on me Daph. He won’t answer his cell phone or home phone. He won’t talk to me. He won’t let me explain. He doesn’t trust me,” Justin was rambling. I could barely make out what he was saying. “Calm down,” I ordered, “and tell me the whole story.” Eve sat up and looked at me expectantly as Justin rattled off the whole story to me. I let out a sigh. “Where are you?” I asked. He told me. “I’ll see you in five minutes,” I told him and disconnected the call.

I gave Eve the condensed version. She was off the couch in seconds. “Eve, I’ll handle this,” I told her. “You need to rest.”

“Well, you know the old saying…no rest for the weary.” She ran her hands over her face. “Lets try this differently. You take Kinney and I’m on Taylor.”

I thought about it. It sounded like a good plan. “Okay, sounds good.” We both grabbed our keys and headed to the door.


JUSTIN 

I was surprised to see Eve at Ethan’s door. I was expecting Daphne. Eve didn’t look good. I thought about the concerns Brian voiced last night. Eve was without make up and her once flawless skin was a little blotchy and she looked…exhausted was the word. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face was a little pinched and drawn. That air of energy that always seemed to crackle around her was gone. Maybe Brian was right. I’d spent so much time right under her nose I’d missed some of the signs. 

Daph had been telling me for weeks Eve looked like she was getting worst. I brushed it aside as just Daph being overly dramatic. She always called me the Drama Princess but in actuality I couldn’t hold a candle to Daph. I had seen her at the awards ceremony over a week ago and at her house for brunch the next day. She looked fine at time. She didn’t now. I was realizing maybe this time Daph wasn’t being the Drama Princess but she was seeing something in Eve that for months Brian and I had missed. The one time I did notice that she wasn’t looking so well, that maybe she needed to cut back a little more she’d joked that she’d spent too much time drinking and not enough time fucking. I’d laughed with her and made her promise to get more rest. It was good she was taking this break. She needed it. 

Eve moved aimlessly around Ethan’s apartment. She didn’t turn her nose up like I expected she would at the shabby and cheap furnishing. She just seemed to take in the surrounding. 

“It’s not really you.” 

I looked around the apartment with a critical eye. She was right the apartment wasn’t really me. I had never hung any of my art stuff around and even when I was living with Ethan I had very few personal items in the apartment. Although I’d purchased the majority of the furnishing it wasn’t actually my taste as much as it was what I could afford or what had been given me. The rest of the stuff was *junk* Ethan had collected off the street. Truthfully when I left I just filled my duffle bag with my clothes, grabbed my computer and my sketchbook, the rest of the stuff in his apartment I had left. I hadn’t even missed it. 

“No, I never exactly put my artistic stamp on it,” I stated playfully. 

Eve smiled at my joke. Her smile seemed so listless. We were both quiet for a few minutes as she stared out the window. She seemed to be in a reflective mood. I didn’t want to disturb that. 

“You were wrong.” 

“Huh?” I asked totally confused as to where this conversation was going. 

She finally turned around and looked at me. Eve looked so weary. 

“You were wrong,” she repeated. “You lied to him, cheated on him and then left him for another man. Not in private where it should have been handled but in public, in front of his friends, his peers and his enemies. You embarrassed him, you hurt him, you broke his heart, but most importantly you betrayed his trust. He gave you more than any person he knew. More than his parents, more than his sister, more than his friends...more than Mikey. He supported you financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. I once told you that I admired him because without any guidance he was able to form binding and loving relationships. He loved his friends and he loved you. More than that he was…is in love with you. After all that has happened he is still in love with you. He always will be. He may not have given you roses, chocolates, sweet words, candle light dinners and violin music but he gave you something much more romantic. He gave you honesty. He gave you *himself.* Brian may never bring you roses, or play violin music to you or tell you *I love You* in words but he will show it to you in his every action. It may lack the romantic overtures that Ethan has down pact but it will have substance. It won’t wither and die like a rose or empty sweet words or fade away like music. It will be as strong today as it was yesterday and as it will be tomorrow.” 

I could barely meet her penetrating gaze. For every word she spoke was the truth. 

“I know,” I muttered weakly. “But he doesn’t even trust me. He didn’t even give me a chance to explain. He just jumped to conclusions,” I stated bitterly. 

“He’ll never admit it but he’s still a little insecure about your feelings for him. I know that you love him.” 

“Yes.” I said with conviction. 

“Do you want to be with him? In a relationship with him?” 

”Yes. Yes, I do.” 

She shook her head to acknowledge my answer. “Then you have to go to him. It’s up to you now. These last few months he has been trying to give you what you want without sacrificing who he is. He isn’t romantic, dreamy eyed or idealistic. He’s realistic. But that’s why his love is so much stronger and sure than anything else. Because he doesn’t see your love through rose or smoke colored glasses, there is no veil over his eyes. He sees his love for you clearly. He sees it as it is with all the problems that will arise and have arose, yet he still wants to be with you. He loves you.” She let out a long sigh and turned back to the window. “If I had someone that loved me as much as Brian loves you I would be running to them. It’s time for you to make a choice now Justin. If you want Brian you have to let Ethan go…at least until Brian is more secure in your love and can accept Ethan as your friend.” 

“But what if he doesn’t really want me? ” 

She glared at me as if I should be sitting in a corner with a Dunce hat on. “Brian will always love you. When you are old and gray and hobbling around on a cane, Brian will still love you.” She paused. “It’s time Justin for you to have Faith and Grace.” 

I looked puzzled. She correctly read my expression. She gave a little laugh and walked to me and grabbed my face between her hands. She pulled my head down and kissed me on the lips our foreheads touching. 

“Baby you just have to have Faith that he loves you with all his heart and that deep down where it counts the most…he trusts you. You have to have the Grace to forgive him for his momentary vulnerability. Believe me Brian knows you aren’t cheating on him. He’s just feeling insecure and it has manifested itself in a show of…a jealous tantrum that he will never admit to having. It’s time to move forward. I know in the past the two of you have hurt each other deeply. But that is the past. It’s okay to look back in the past. Don’t live in the past. Don’t let the past ruin your present...your future.” 

She looked at her watch. “I have a dinner date with Daddy and Rodney. You need to go find your man.”

I gave Eve a big hug. “I’m going to miss you.”

She held me tightly. “I’m going to miss you too. Take care of my girl, okay?”

“I will,” I promised.

I looked around Ethan’s apartment. I wish I could say there were some good memories but there weren’t. All my memories were tainted with the knowledge that I had cheated on Brian and after I left Brian all my memories were of crying inside wanting him back more than I could bear. I picked up my bag. Eve was right. Ethan had other friends. If he needed someone to help him it wasn’t me.

“Justin,” Ethan whined. He sat up in his makeshift bed looking up at me. The sheet fell to his waist giving me a clear view of his pale thin chest and flabby waistline. I cringed inside. Ethan looked much better in clothes than he did without them.

“I’m leaving Ethan. I won’t be back.”

“But…but why,” he asked confused.

“Because my place is with Brian not here with you.”

“I need you,” he whined pitifully.

“Ethan call one of your friends. I won’t be back.”

“It’s because of her!” Ethan shouted pointing at Eve. “She is a malicious troubling starting bitch.”

Before I could form a retort Eve did.

She laughed, “Oh, the widdle violinist isn’t getting his way and he’s having a tantrum. How cute.”

I laughed at Eve’s antics. Ethan was chagrin. His face had turned bright red. I opened the door. “Ethan I wish you the best,” I told him. And I did. I only wanted the best for him just as I knew Brian was best for me.

BRIAN

I was trying to ignore the banging on my door but it was no use. Whoever was at the door was insistent. I was trying to get so high that I wouldn’t remember the voice of Ethan answering Justin’s cell phone and gleefully telling me Justin had gone to the store to get something for dinner. I didn’t listen to more I just hung up the telephone. 

I mumbled under my breath as I stalked to the door and pulled it open. I was expecting Justin or maybe even Eve. I wasn’t expecting Daphne.

“What took you so long?” she asked as she pushed past me and flounced in the loft. I didn’t bother to shut the door. She wouldn’t be here long. 

She turned to face me. I had a good idea why she was here I just decided to let her have her say. I’ve learned that Daphne couldn’t be put off.

“Okay say what you have to say and get out,” I barked.

My tone would have made other shutter. It only made Daphne purse her lips in annoyance.

“You don’t have to bite my head off,” she retorted. “I’m here to keep you from making a colossal mistake and losing Justin.”

“And what makes you think I care.”

“Because a man that didn’t care wouldn’t be getting shit faced drunk,” she shot back.

I had to give it to her she had me that one. I raised an eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

“Had you given Justin time to explain you would have found out Ethan was in a car accident. He was asking for Justin.”

“He sounded fine to me,” I mumbled remembering the short conversation I had with Ethan.

“He is fine just a little banged up. Justin was at the hospital when he was released. You know how Justin is he couldn’t just leave him. He went home with him and got him settled in and bought him a few groceries. That’s it. No sneaking around behind your back fucking Ethan. He’d never do that again. Justin loves you. He’d never cheat on you again with Ethan or anyone for that matter. You should be ashamed of yourself for not trusting him,” she blasted.

I almost hung my head. She was right. I knew Justin better than that. I knew he would never cheat on me…again. It’s just that I was still vulnerable where Ethan was concerned. Because Ethan could give Justin all those verbal expressions of love, he knew how to appeal to Justin’s romantic side. I was still struggling with that. I wasn’t at ease being romantic with Justin, no matter how much I tried. Still I should have known Justin would never cheat on me. Hell, I’d done a lot to hurt Justin in the past and he’d forgiven me and we’d both made promises to each other. I knew Justin wouldn’t break those promises. I felt like a stupid love sick, jealous lezzy. 

“You are right. I should trust him. I know Justin wouldn’t cheat on me.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Justin said.

I turned to see Justin standing at the door. He walked in and dropped his bag. I opened my arms he was in them. I buried my face in the clean citrus smell of his golden hair.

“My job here is done,” Daphne teased. 

I listened to her footsteps as she walked out of the loft closing the door behind her. 

Justin pulled back from my embrace and looked me in the eyes. “Brian I love you. I was stupid once, I’ll never be that stupid again.”

“I know I should have let you explain. I should have trusted you,” I admitted.

“Yes, you should have.”

We didn’t need any other words. “Let’s order that Pizza and watch those movies,” I suggested.

“Sounds good.” Justin slipped off his coat and ordered the Pizza. As I set up the movies I realized how fortunate I was to have Justin in my life. For the last week the expression the *Shit hits the fan* had been playing in my head. I realized that as long as Justin was in my life shit could hit the fan every day and I’d still have a great day.