EVE I watched as Heather walked out the room. I didn’t know what to say to her to make the pain less. It somehow made what I felt for Harrison a little bittersweet. My happiness was causing one of my best friends pain. Maybe if there were Next lifetimes everything would work out. Everyone would be happy. It wasn’t Next Lifetime. It was this lifetime and things weren’t perfect. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked out at the storm filled sky. The soulful crooning of Next lifetime’s melody blended with the patter of the rain against the window. I wondered if I had Next Lifetimes what I would do with them. What in my life would I change? The ringing telephone temporarily took my mind off my melancholy. I walked to the desk and picked up my cell phone. I checked caller ID. It was Daphne. I took a deep breath and dried my tears on my sleeve before I answered. “Yeah,” I answered. “Hey, I listened to your radio program last night. It was really cool. It made me wish you were here,” she said wistfully. “So, when are you coming home?” “Next month.” “What?” She yelled excitedly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back so soon?” My spirits instantly lifted at Daphne’s excitement. Talking to Daphne always put me in a good mood. “I’m telling you now sponge brain.” “I can’t wait to see you. I have so missed you. We can go out together and pick up men.” I thought about Harrison. The idea of picking up men wasn’t as appealing as it once was…then again flirting never hurt. “We’ll see,” I responded. “Men probably won’t be my priority for a little while.” “You are better now right? The cancer is cured?” I could hear the worry in her voice. “Yeah, the cancer is cured.” I heard her sigh of relief. “Then that’s what we should celebrate. We will have a victory party when you get back. With male strippers!” I laughed at her enthusiasm and insistence on a party with men. “I guess watching a naked male body gyrating is a good thing.” “I thought men were your favorite hobby, but I guess being sick has probably slowed you down.” “Hmmm,” I muttered. I thought about my four days with Harrison. I was going to make Harrison my favorite Hobby. I was so thrilled about Harrison I decided to share it with Daphne. “Actually Daphne I’ve met someone…someone I *like* a lot.” “What?” She squealed. “You’ve met a guy! Only you would go away to rest and recuperate and find a man. Tell me about him. Is he some hot, hunky guy? Does Heather know about him? How did you meet?” Daphne rattled off questions so quickly I almost lost track of them. I tried to answer them one at a time. Since Daphne didn’t know I was in Philadelphia I had leave out a few facts and I decided to keep Harrison’s identity a secret for the time being. “Well we met while I was sitting at this outside café. I thought he was Brian.” Daphne interrupted me, “So, he looks exactly like Brian?” “Not really. From a distance he does, but up close the resemblance is purely superficial. He’s about 6’0” tall, muscular, he has light brown hair, a smile that can make you have a wet dream and his eyes…oh Daphne he has these incredible clear green eyes. They are so sexy, so seductive…and when they are glazed with passion…” I had to pause just the thought of his eyes made me long for him. “So, you are in lust?” Daphne asked. I thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I’m in lust but more than that I’m in *like.* I’ve felt lust before its nothing new, this other feeling…it’s more than lust. Most men I don’t want to know more about them than the size of their dicks, the flexibility of their tongue and their willingness to indulge in kink. After I’ve fucked them I just want them to disappear. He’s…different. After the sex, which by the way was absofuckinglutely amazing, I wanted to stay with him…spend time with him…get to know him. That’s quite a novelty for me.” “Wow,” Daphne said in awe. “Yeah, Wow,” I agreed. “So, does he know you are ill?” “He knows. We talked about it at length. He’s even been through it himself. A few years ago he had testicular cancer. We shared war stories.” “This is so romantic,” Daphne said dreamily then she asked solemnly, “Have you told Heather?” The edges of sadness were still in my voice as I answered, “Yeah. She was hurt, but she took it pretty good. She’s coming back to Pittsburgh and stay with me for a while. Thankfully we are still going to remain friends. That’s what was most important. I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship.” “I’m glad it’s worked out. I can’t wait to meet him. So, is he coming back to Pittsburgh with you?” Daphne was full of questions, “He flew to Canada a few weeks ago on business. He’ll join me in Pittsburgh when he gets back in the States.” I thought it was time to distract Daphne from her endless questions. “So, who are you dating now?” “Well, that was one of the reasons I called you.” There was something in her voice that caught my attention. “I’m listening?” “I told you I was dating this guy Bruce, right?” I racked my brains and vaguely remembered her rattling off about meeting a hot, hunky guy. “Yeah, what about him?” “Well,” she paused. "Well what," I pressed. "Bruce wants to have anal sex. I'm not sure about it." I had been leaning on the desk as we talked. I decided I needed to sit down to continue this conversation. I let out a sigh and walked around the desk to plop down in the chair. "Do you want to do it or is he pressuring you to do it?" There was a pause on the other line. In my mind I could see the array of emotions floating across Daphne's expressive face as she contemplated my question. "I don't know. I mean I've thought about it. Having a Gay best friend I’ve always wanted to know what all the hype was about...." "I hear a *but* in there." There was a long pause before she answered. "I'm not sure I’m ready, Eve. I mean you've done it before. How painful was it?” The first time with Brian flashed before my eyes in an instant. My lips quirked up in a small smile at the memory. It had been beautiful, memorable and painful. "The first time was very, painful. I thought my ass was going to split in two. The second time was better, much, much better. Then again Brian is an expert in anal sex. Most Gay men are." "Have you had anal sex with anyone other than Brian?" "No." I thought about Harrison and my advice to him to read up on anal sex. "In the future I'm sure I will. Anal sex between two men and between a woman and a man is totally different. First, with men there is the prostrate gland. It’s what men stroke or hit during anal sex to illicit pleasure for their partners. Of course, women don't have a prostrate gland so our pleasure has to be derived another way. Mostly stimulation of the clit during the act either by the woman or her partner. Plainly put someone needs to have a little experience or at least some knowledge before you engage in it. Does Bruce have any experience in anal sex?” "I don't know," she answered. I snorted, "Well, you need to find out. The last thing you want is to have some guy that doesn't know Jack shit about anal sex ramming a dick up your ass. He could hurt you. He could cause some damage." "I haven't thought about that." "Well think about it," I advised. "To be on the safe side go out and buy a book on anal sex. Better yet call Justin and ask him about anal sex and to refer you to some websites. Don't depend on Bruce to know what he's doing you need to know too. Brian was my first but I knew a lot about it before hand. I'd read up on it and bought some books. I was amazed at all the things that go into anal sex. It's definitely more than just a dick." I heard Daph laugh at my pun. “There is the....cleanliness that goes along with anal sex," I let out a quick breath. I would really have preferred to be having this talk with Daphne face to face not over a telephone. I decided she needed a one on one hands on talk. I wiped my hand across my face. "You really need to go talk this over with Justin. He can tell you things you need to know and answer all your questions." "I thought about that. I just didn't want to creep Justin out. Plus he's only had sex with one woman and that was me. He's not exactly and expert on hetero sex." "True, but he knows a helluva lot about anal sex and that's what you need advice on.” "You have a point," she conceded. "Pfft, of course I do," I said arrogantly. Daphne laughed. "You are a real know it all big sister." I smiled, "All big sisters are." Daphne laughed again, “Whatever.” I saw a flash of lightening. I knew it was time to end this conversation. "Daph, I’ve got to cut this short. It's storming. I don’t much like being on the telephone during storms." "Okay. I’ll we can talk again tomorrow. Wait until I tell Justin and Brian that you will be home in a month. They will freak." "I hope freak in a good way," I said laughing at her enthusiasm. “Talk to you later.” “Later,” she said. I flipped the telephone shut and looked out at the raging storm. I couldn’t wait to get home to my family ----------------------------- BRIAN I thought I had hit the dickload when Deb told me about some information she had gotten from a hustler named Hunter that frequented the diner. Following the leads I gained from Hunter I found incriminating information that Stockwell covered up a murder of a Gay man. Although, Carl and I didn’t get much support or help from the police community I followed the lead up on my own. When I couldn’t get anyone to touch the information I’d found I had to come up with a way to get it out. I completely maxed out my credit cards to finance the TV commercial exposing Stockwell’s cover-up of the Gay man’s murder. It took more than that to defeat Stockwell. It took the help, and most importantly, the vote of the community to defeat Stockwell at the polls. That didn’t mean that his defeat hadn’t come at a high price to me, it had. I was certainly suffering from my victory over Stockwell and Vance. I put on a nonchalant attitude around the family. No one would ever realize the stress I was under. The family all thought that I was unconcerned about being fired from Vanguard and that I had great prospects for employment, after all I was the great Brian Kinney. I let them continued to believe that. Too bad it was all a sham. I pushed my chair away from the computer and rubbed the tension from my neck. Time was moving by fast. It seemed like it was another lifetime, but it wasn’t. It was this lifetime. In the months since I was fired from Vanguard my employment prospects were almost none existent. I‘d tried every agency in Pittsburgh and the surrounding area. I’d even sent resumes to New York and Chicago. Vance and Stockwell’s contacts were wide ranging. I had been literally *blackballed* in the advertising community. Those that were willing to hire me offered me a mere fraction of what I was worth. I couldn’t possibly work for the pittance the few companies that had offered me positions were willing to pay. It would seem that I was screwed and without benefit of lube or a condom. I walked to the windows and stared out at the view. This loft with its Italian fixtures, hardwood floors and amazing view were one of the few assets I had left. It was going to be the next thing I had to sell, along with my Corvette. My savings and checking account balances were going fast. I had gone over my budget, how I hated that word, and at the rate I was going within the next few months I would have to start liquidating more than just the contents of my home, and that‘s if I was frugal which wasn‘t something I knew how to do. I knew that Justin was worried. He pretended that he wasn’t but I could see the concern in his eyes. He had stopped asking me about my job prospects after I had snapped at him last week. Now when he came over, which seemed to be every night, he waited until I brought up my job search. If I didn’t bring up the subject he didn’t either. He was encouraging as well as supportive of all my efforts. There was one career move that was floating around in my head…starting my own company. Each rejection I received or dead end I reached made the idea more and more appealing. If ever there was a time to put my plans in motion it was now. It wasn‘t as if I didn‘t have the experience and expertise to run my own company, I did. Plus I had brought many, many accounts to Vanguard. All I needed to do was see how many of those accounts were willing to follow me to my new company. I had to do something fast. Each day my financial situation got worse. I walked back to the desk stopping on the way to pour another shot of JB and light another cigarette. I sat back down and blew a stream of smoke out. I pulled up the business plan I‘d been working on for over a year. If I was ever going to be my own boss now seemed like the best time. I heard the door open. I quickly closed the file. I didn’t know why I was keeping this from Justin. Maybe I just didn’t want to see his look of disappointment if he didn‘t believe that I could make a go of my own company. I turned to face him, “You’re early.” “Yeah, I told Deb I needed a break.” He dropped his satchel on the floor as he walked to me. “Well since you are here I have something that needs your attention,” I said trailing my hand down to my cock. Justin gave me a sexy smile. The one that made my dick rock hard in seconds. “A little later,” he promised. “Right now we need to talk.” I leaned back and studied him. He seemed pretty serious. “About what?” I asked. He took a breath and puffed out his chest. I knew that move and that stance. I knew I wasn’t going to like this. “Brian we can’t avoid it any longer. We need to talk about money issues.” He rushed on before I could protest. “I know you don’t think this concerns me, but if I’m your partner then your financial situation concerns me. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think I’ve come up with a plan.” He finally paused. I studied him as I let the smoke trail through my lips. As much as I hated this I knew I had promised Justin that we would share everything. My financial situation came under the heading of everything. Justin was still staring at me expectantly. I let out a loud sigh and waved my hand in resignation. “I’m listening.” A bright smile spread across his face. He seemed speechless for a moment. I could tell he was expecting more of an argument from me. I quirked my eyebrow, “I’m waiting.” He snapped out of his trance. “Okay. I know about the money issues. I know you have money going out and not much or none coming in. We have to deal with the *one hundred thousand dollar credit card debt.* Plus there is the issue of the interest that is steadily accruing on the debt. How much do you have in savings, checking, stocks and the sale of the loft’s contents?” I shrugged, “I checked this morning. As you know, I placed the airtime for the TV spots on my credit cards. I didn’t max out my platinum card. So, it’s still available for use. I was desperate and took a big loss on the sale of the contents in the loft and I returned the Plasma TV.” I let out a loud sigh. “I paid off a few other obligations to get them out the way. I’m not sure about my stocks. I have investments in Vanguard. I have a meeting to go over my stock portfolio tomorrow. I was fired from Vanguard for sabotaging a client. I’ll be lucky if Vance doesn’t sue me.” Justin was quiet for a moment walking back and forth. I could actually see his mind working. “Okay, what about the mortgage on the loft and the payment on the ‘vette?” “They are paid for. I already have a buyer coming by to look at the ‘vette tomorrow. I’m going for a quick sale so I’m taking a loss.” “Okay, why don’t we earmark some money from the sale for you to get another less expensive car.” “I don’t need a car.” “Of course you do. We need some sort of transportation. Plus I can’t see you on public transportation. It’s not your style.” I grimaced thinking about riding the bus, “You are so right. There’s no need to buy another car. I still have the Jeep. I’ve been meaning to sale it but I never got around to it. It’s still in the underground parking.” The truth was I hadn’t wanted to sale it. I had a strange attachment to that car. “Good. That’s one less thing we have to worry about. So we take the money from the sale of the loft contents and the ‘vette and pay that on the credit cards.” I watched as Justin did some quick calculations in his head. “We need to get the credit card debt paid down as quickly as possible. We don’t want to continue to accrue interest on a debt that high. We haven’t even found out what you have in investments. It will probably be enough to pay off most of the debt. We’ll see. The main thing is making sure we don’t have to cash in your IRA. I know that is for retirement.” He gave me a mischievous smile. “Let’s face it if it was me we could cash it in. I’m young. I have plenty of years to think about retirement. You are an old guy. Retirement is just around the corner for you.” I laughed and tossed a pillow at him. One of the few things left in the open living space. He laughed back. I knew Justin was trying to keep this serious conversation as light as possible for my sake. He was trying to keep from embarrassing me. I loved the kid for that. That’s in a non-conventional, non-defined way, of course. Then I realized that Justin kept referring to *we* and *us* when he talked about repaying my debt. I looked at him incredulously, “What do you mean us? I incurred this debt, I’ll pay it off.” Justin pursed his lips and gave me his patented don’t fuck with me look. He then went back to pacing. “We are partners,” I heard the slight catch and hesitation in his voice. “You said so yourself. Remember?” He pinned me with those serious blue eyes. ”We’re in this together.” I knew how important this was for him. That I give our relationship some kind of importance in my life. If I couldn’t tell him I loved him I had to at least let him know that I did. I nodded in agreement. He was right we were partners and we were in this together as long as I was sure he wouldn’t suffer from my mistakes. “Yes, we are partners. We are in this together. I’m sure I have more than enough in investments to pay off the remainder of the debts and the interest.” “Great, one less worry. We’re going to have to replace a few things in the loft. We can’t continue to sit on the hard floor and as much as I know you like being in bed we can’t suck and fuck the entire time we’re at home.” I playfully arched my eyebrows. He laughed. “Okay we could fuck the entire time we were home, but my ass would be so sore and I wouldn’t be able to sit down.” I liked the way he referred to the loft as home. He continued. “So, we get some new furniture. We need a sofa—no make it a futon, a coffee table, dining table and chairs. Nothing designer of course. We’ll stop at Ethan Allen and look around.” My eyebrow arched at the place he wanted to shop. I would much prefer not to have anything Ethan in my home. He finally saw my look and got a sheepish grin on his face. “Okay, we’ll by past that and shop at another furniture store. We’ll go where Mom shopped to get the stuff for her condo. It’s not designer but the quality is good. We can pick something out tonight and get it delivered within a few days. It will be the first time we shop for furniture as a couple.” I could see Justin was really excited about that. He was so easy to please. Well at least I’d get a chance to shop something I hadn’t done in a while. “We can’t spend over $5,000.00 for everything.” He saw my look of shock. Hell the coffee table I sold cost more than $2,000.00. The chaise lounge cost more than that. “Sorry label queen but we are on a budget. I could say we couldn’t spend more than $750.00 on all that stuff. I spent less than $500.00 on the shit I had at Ethan’s. At least I didn’t say we’d go to the Big Q.” I made a mocking grab at my heart feigning a heart attack. He laughed. “Don’t worry once this has passed we’ll replace all of your Italian designer furniture and your liquid TV. Speaking of which we need to purchase a TV and a stereo system. I can’t live in a home without one. I have about $3,500.00 in savings. So, I’ll go in half on the furniture.” I smiled. I started to ask him when did he decide to tell me he was moving back in but I decided to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want to jinx it. He continued to take charge. “We need to hold on to the rest of the funds left in our savings and checking for unexpected expenses. There may be other repercussions that will develop. We’ll have to live off my salary from the diner for living expenses. Now that I’m working full time we should be able to make things work until you find another job. Plus I’m still getting money from *Rage.* It’s sold almost 5,000 copies so far.” I started to tell the kid that his cut from the sale of Rage comic didn’t even begin to cover my expenses but I kept silent. “Maybe I can pick up a little freelance art work. I’ll put an ad in *Out.* and see what happens.” “I don’t want you taking on more than you have to. There will be no overtime at the diner. I don’t want you working yourself into exhaustion. Freelance artwork is a good idea. It will give you a chance to work on your art until PIFA lifts your suspension. I don’t know how much I’ll get from cashing in my stock but, whatever the amount we’ll put away enough for your tuition.” “Brian we can’t afford that now. I’ll go back to school later,” he argued. “No school. No deal. It’s important to me that no matter what’s going on with me you finish your education. Is that understood?” I know he didn’t like it. I could see he wanted to argue but he let it go. “Okay. *If* the suspension is lifted I will go back to school. As long as it is absolutely clear that I will not apologize to Stockwell.” I snorted derisively, “I doubt very seriously if they’ll ask that again.” When Justin was suspended from school he was issued incompletes for the classes he was taking. I wanted Justin to be allowed to complete all necessary class work and take his exams for the semester he’d been suspended. I also wanted the suspension lifted from his record. I knew it could be done. With Stockwell being exposed for covering up a homicide and facing indictment the possibility of Justin returning to PIFA was looking better each day. If that failed I’m sure Mr. Van Austen had the contacts to do it. Justin had allowed me enough control. He steered the conversation back to finances. “Now let’s get back to our day to day living. What are your monthly expenses?” I had no secrets from Justin so I gave him a complete rundown of all my expenses which included child support, utilities (including internet), cellular telephone, insurance including life, health, car, homeowners insurance, property taxes, satellite television, cleaning services, hair stylist and toiletries. Justin let out a little gasp at the amount of money I spent on my hair stylist and toiletries. “Do you want me to continue?” I asked irritated at his interruption. He looked contrite. “Yes, I’m sorry. Continue.” Then I gave him an estimate of the amount of money I spent on entertainment and drugs. This received another shocked gasp from him. I ignored him and continued. “Dry cleaning I’m not sure how much I spend. I don’t really keep up with it. Cynthia has always handled that. Household items, Food usually handled by the domestic service I use. I don‘t know how much they spend on groceries but now that you are here we might need to double….no triple that.” Justin stuck out his tongue. I ignored it for now. Later I’d show him what to do with his tongue. “Oh and of course there is Take Out/Delivery Food, the Gym and the Security Company.” “Expand on what’s under Toiletries, entertainment and household items,” he said tapping his pencil on the pad like a little general. “Toiletries include my facial moisturizers, anti-aging creams, shampoo, conditioner, soap, shaving cream, tooth paste, mouth wash, deodorant, styling lotions, cologne, shower and hair gels.” “Okay I’ve checked. You have enough of that to last for a while. At least for 3 or more months. You’re quite the pack rack. For once that’s good. We can completely eliminate that from the budget for several months. Go on.” I smirked at him. The little shit thought he was in total control. “Entertainment is my membership at Babylon which has to be renewed by the end of the year, Condoms, lube and sex toys. Drugs include weed, a little coke and a few designer drugs including E.” “Again I’ve checked your stash and the liquor cabinet. You have about a case of JB and some assorted other liquors. The wine cellar is stocked. You have plenty of weed and E.” He hesitated briefly. “Brian how dependent are you on drugs?” I looked over at him. I guess in his eyes I was a drug addict. There was rarely a time he hadn’t seen me doing some type of drug or drinking. Even I didn’t know if I could do without them. I answered his question honestly. “I don’t know Justin. I’ve never had to spend any length of time without drugs.” “Well we are about to find out. What we have now is what you’re going to have to use. So, I suggest you do so sparingly. We can’t afford to replenish your stash right now. Maybe in a few months or so when we see how well we are doing budget wise. And as for entertainment, no new sex toys for a while. We will continue to replenish the condoms and lube. It’s not entertainment, it actually should be listed under health. We’ll have to see if you can afford to renew your membership at Babylon. From now on it’s Woody’s once or twice a week and the same for Babylon and Cocks & Tails. AND no being Mister Big Spender and buying drinks for everyone, we can’t afford that now.” I was a little chagrin listening to Justin tell me what we could and could not afford. Listening to him issue orders about what I could and couldn’t buy with my money. Then I realized he was only trying to help and truth be told I didn’t have a lot of money. “I can do that,” I agreed grudgingly. Justin let out the breath he’d been holding. I could see this wasn’t any easier on him that it was on me. “Let’s finish,” he said. “What about household items?” “Household items are sheets, towels, pillows.” Justin sat at the computer table and started typing vigorously. It was a good thing that I didn’t sale my computer. As he put together his list I idly walked around the empty loft. I went in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “Brian,” he called. I slowly approached him and looked at the budget on the screen. I’d already added it up and the kid was at the low end of my monthly expenses. “Geesh, Brian that’s almost more than I make a year!” He placed a printed page in my hand. This is the new budget.” I went over it carefully grimacing at the new budget. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my lifestyle and beaten it in the ground. “Okay this is where the belt tightening begins. We cut back to the basic channels on Satellite. Which shouldn’t be too hard since you don’t even have a TV right now. We’re going to have to stop going on the porn websites. They are expensive and we can’t afford them right now. If you want to see a naked body you’ll have to be content with the porn movies you have, go to the backroom or you’ll just have to look at my body. If you want new porn movies we’ll have to make our own,” he gave me a sexy smile. I was definitely going to take him up on that. “Entertainment will have to be cut down to the bare minimum. Maybe we can squeeze $50.00 out and that’s splurging. We’ll try to conserve a little more on utilities. Clothing is completely cut. No more new clothing until you find another job. Cleaning Service completely gone. We clean the loft. We do our own washing. Dry Cleaning bill we’ll just have to keep an eye on. Most of your casual stuff we can—I’ll wash. Say good-bye to your hairstylist or your gym. You can only keep one. And that’s a splurge.” I cut my eyes at him. He stopped pacing for a few minutes to stare at me. “I know it’s asking a lot Brian but we have to get through this. It’s only temporary until you get another job. We’re going to have to completely cut out *your* household items and add some new ones. You have enough sheet sets and towels to change them every day for two months maybe more. We will add laundry detergent, fabric softeners, bleach, cleaning supplies, stuff like that. No more take out food. From now on we cook. It’s cheaper.” I cut my eyes at him. He relented a little, “Okay we can go to the diner, occasionally.” “Oh, wow the diner. What a thrill,” I said with feigned enthusiasm. He ignored me. I wanted to strangle the little twat as he stood their looking absolutely innocent. I was hoping the talk would be over soon. All this talk about my impending poverty was making me horny. He took a deep breath and looked at me. I could tell by his steely gaze I wasn’t going to like this next part. “I know how important it is for you to take care of Gus and I won’t demand you cut your payment to Lindsey.” I could tell by his hesitation there was a but so I asked, “You have more to say. What is it?” “Perhaps until you get back on your feet financially you can talk to Lindsey about decreasing those payments. I’ve seen the pre-school fee. You are paying his monthly pre-school fee plus giving Lindz money. Maybe you can just make the payment for his pre-school fee and a little over until things pick up. It’s just something you might want to think about. It’s totally up to you of course.” Justin had really given this a lot of thought. The truth was I’d already called Lindsey and we’d agreed until things picked up I’d only be responsible for paying Gus’ private pre-school fee. “Now. Let’s look at what we have with the cuts.” We both looked over the budget he’d printed out. He got up from the chair and let me sit down. He started pacing behind me. I cut my eyes at him. He stopped pacing for a few minutes to stare at me. “I know it’s asking a lot Brian but we have to get through this. It’s only temporary until you get another job. Plus if things get tight we’ll make more drastic cuts. Like completely getting rid of the entertainment, dry cleaning, satellite, cutting toiletries down to $50.00 per month, get rid of the gym/hairstylist, cut back more on utilities, food. Plus we need to reduce the insurance. I’m sure you had the house insured based on all the designer stuff that was here before. All of that is gone now so we can reduce the homeowners insurance for the contents of the home. If we make the majority of these cut backs we should be able to float for quite awhile.” I added my stipulations to the budget he had made. “First, child support is my responsibility not yours. So, the first thing we do is subtract it from the budget. Second, we will open up a joint account. I‘ll transfer the money from my checking account into it. You can deposit your money in it if you want. We can pay the bills from that account. Is that acceptable?” He stared at me and then another smile crossed his face. “You are going to open an account with our names on it? He asked incuriously. “That’s what Joint Account means,“ I answered. “So, is that acceptable?“ The smile never left his face or eyes, “Yes, that’s very acceptable.“ “And you will stop the double shifts at the diner. If I have to give up my internet porn I’m going to need something to entertain me,“ I teased. I waited for him to argue. I could tell he wanted to but he gave in. Not gracefully though. He let out one of his dramatic long suffering sighs. “Okay Brian. I won’t do any more double shifts at the diner.” “If this little budget meeting is over I have another pressing issue that needs some attention.” Justin looked down at my fly. “Why don’t you come down here and help me with it,” I said unzipping my pants. Justin gave me a lewd smile as he dropped to his knees and freed my cock. “I guess this means our meeting is adjourned,” he laughed just before his lips engulfed my cock. Damn I wished all my meetings could end this way. ---------------------------------------- I rolled on my back bringing Justin with me. I pushed his sweat soaked bangs away and kissed him on his forehead. No matter how many times we fucked it was always amazing. Justin echoed my thoughts, “That was fucking amazing.” “Yeah,” I agreed. He snuggled closer to me lying his head on my chest on my sweaty chest. “Maybe we should move to the bed. This floor isn’t the most comfortable spot.” I laughed. “Sure.” I slapped Justin’s hip. “We have to protect that tender ass of yours.” “Whatever,” Justin laughed as he rolled to his feet. “I’m going to shower. Then I’ll fix us something to eat.” I didn’t move. My eyes followed the delectable image of the twin globes of Justin’s ass as he walked to the bedroom. The persistent knock on the door broke my concentration. I let out a sigh as I struggled to my feet. I took a few seconds to pull on my jeans and zip them before opening the door. The woman standing at the door looked familiar. I was trying to place her face when she spoke. “Hello, Brian. You may not remember me. I’m Shirley. Eve’s assistant. Can I come in?” I stepped back. “Yeah, sure.” I walked over to the bar. Other than my desk chair the bar stools were the only place to sit. “Have a seat.” I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Can I offer you something to drink.” Shirley shook her head, “No thanks.” I opened the water and leaned against the counter waiting on Shirley to speak. “I went by your office today. I spoke with your assistant and with Vance. Cynthia told me what had happened at the office. I called Steve, the manager, when I found out you weren’t at Vanguard any longer. He called Eve. That’s why I’m here. We tried to call you, but we didn’t get an answer. I left several messages and I didn‘t get a return call.” I had forwarded all calls directly to voice mail. I wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone. “So, I came over. I hope I‘m not intruding.” I cringed just thinking about the blast I would get from Eve for not telling her about being fired. I‘d have to worry about that later. “It’s fine. What can I do for you?” “I guess what started every thing were these,” she explained handing a manila envelope to me. “I sent them to you express messenger and the messenger called and said they were undeliverable. He said the receptionist informed him that you were no longer at the office. I decided that I would take them over and that’s when I had a talk with Cynthia and Vance.” I put my water on the counter and opened the envelope. I spread the contents on the counter. It was a series of photographs of Eve. In total it was six full sized photos. Four of the photographs were done in dramatic black and white that emphasize light and shadow. I looked at the photographs. The four black and white photos were full facial shots. I knew Heather was the photographer. I had to give her credit. She captured everything that was unique about Eve. Eve looked exotic, striking, breath taking. In the months that she had been gone she had allowed her hair to grow. It brushed her jaw, the nape of her neck and framed her face in thick black curls. She had that half secretive smile curving her lips. That smile drew in men and women alike. I studied the pictures with a critical eye. I liked the new hairstyle. The longer hair softened her facial features while still accentuating her slightly almond shaped eyes, high cheekbones and the exotic beauty mark. I loved the dramatic look of the black and white photographs. They were simple, exotic and sexy. I was already thinking up ad copy for her new season of her television show. The Black and white photo that stood out the most was the one with her head tilted back, her arms raised brushing the hair from her face as the water cascading down her face, drips falling from her long lashes, to splash on her checks and trails down her chin and flowed down her graceful neck to her bare chest, and the water ran between the visible cleavage. I stared at the photo for several minutes before setting it to the side to look at the rest of the photos. I looked at the two color photographs. Both were head and shoulder shots. Her face had filled out. It looked much better than the gaunt look she had before she left Pittsburgh. The healthy glow was back. Eve’s skin glowed under the soft lights. As always the contrast of her skin and hair and eyes were dramatic. Eve looked absolutely radiant. The pose was a simple one. She was looking over her shoulder, her eyes seductive her lips moist and slightly parted, a silent invitation seemed to hover. Anyone looking at the picture would want to see more, would wonder what invitation she was issuing and hoping they could be the one to collect. From the look of the pictures the rest had been just the thing Eve needed. She looked great. I looked up from the pictures. “Thank you for bringing these to me, but I don’t understand why the station made a special trip.” “That’s what I’m here to explain. After it was learned you were no longer at Vanguard Steve asked me to call and set up a meeting with you for tomorrow. When I couldn’t reach you by telephone I decided to stop by. So, that’s why I’m here. I want to set up an appointment tomorrow that is if you are available?” I shrugged nonchalantly as an answer. Shirley seemed to take it as a yes. “Is 10:30 a.m. a good time for you?” She asked. It took me a moment to register what she had said. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I wasn’t sure what this meant. “Yeah, set it up. I’ll be there.” Shirley hopped down from the barstool. “Great.” I saw her eyes take in the scattered clothes and discarded condoms on the floor. “Sorry I disturbed you. I’ll get going. Tell Justin I said hello.” I started to ask her how she knew about Justin, but being Eve’s assistant she probably knew the names and relationships of most of the family. “Sure,” I said as I let her out the door. I shut and locked the door behind her. I started towards the bathroom. I wanted to tell Justin about my unexpected visit. ---------------------------- EVE I was still a little pissed at Brian. I had talked to Dad, Brian, Daphne and Justin daily. Sometimes two or three times a day. I couldn’t believe Brian had been fired and no one in the family had bothered to tell me about it. I know Brian, Daphne and Justin were trying to protect me, but this was carrying things to far. Hopefully my call to Steve had set things right. I was quite clear. My contract with the station was contingent on Brian handling my publicity. If Brian was no longer at Vanguard then the contract Vanguard had with WPITT was null and void. It was the way it had been written up when I came to WPITT. Brian was the talent and the brains of Vanguard. Without his talent Vanguard was just another over rated ad agency. Hell, it was Brian’s idea for me to still do my radio show. He’d handled having the necessary equipment provided. I simply set one of the bedrooms up as my office. I had hired a technician to set up all the equipment and I kept my regular radio schedule. It was great idea. My voice was still out there. I still had a loyal following that were eagerly awaiting for me to start personal appearances and the new season of the “Night Beat.” I looked at the clock. I had called WPITT’s office and I was informed that Brian was out of the meeting and they had gone to lunch. I was waiting impatiently for Brian to call. I had left a voice message for him requesting…fuck that, demanding that he call me as soon as he received my message. I was thinking about calling the station again when Brian called. I grabbed my cellular telephone and flipped it open. I didn’t bother with preliminaries. “Well, what’s the verdict?” I asked. I heard his sexy laughter, “Hello to you, too.” “Whatever the fuck.” I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. “Spill.” I heard his exaggerated sigh. “The verdict is Vanguard offered to bring me back under conditions.” “What fucking conditions?” “Conditions I wouldn’t accept.” "Okay. Now what?" "I came up with another solution." I waited but he didn’t continue. "What solution?” I asked impatiently. In my mind I could see him shrugging nonchalantly, "I'm starting my own agency. WPITT is my first customer." "It's about fucking time," I yelled excitedly. Heather pushed open the door. "Are you okay?" She asked. I walked over and kissed her. "I just got some really good news. I'll tell you about it later." I ushered her out the door. She was reluctant but she left. "Kissing your girlfriend," he taunted. "What do you have bionic ears?" "I know certain sounds." “I’d imagine you would since you’ve probably made or been the cause of those sounds more times than anyone could count,” I said. “Look whose pointing fingers,” he laughed. I joined in. “Enough. We are talking about your new agency. So, when do the doors open?” “Well, it’s going to take a little while.” He seemed a little uncertain. “Right now I’m going to work out of the loft until I can find office space. Jennifer should be able to help me with that.” “Are you worried?” “It’s a big step. It might take awhile to make a profit. I don’t want to have Justin missing out on things while I struggle to make a profit.” “Being with you is the only thing that will matter to Justin. He doesn’t care how much money you make. He just cares about being with you. Brian you’ve got to believe in Faith and Grace.” “Faith and Grace?” He repeated. “Yeah. Have Faith that you will succeed and have the Grace to ask for help when you need it. “I’ll remember that,” he promised. “You do that. So, have you thought of a name for the company?” “Kinnetic,” he answered proudly. I scrunched my nose up repeating the name in my head, “Very catchy.” “It was Justin’s idea. He’s at home now working on the design for my business cards and letter head.” “I can’t wait to see what he comes up with,” I said. “Well, you can drop by and see it in person. Daph, tells us you will be back next month.” Just talking about home had me both happy and excited. I couldn’t help the smile that crept across my face and in my voice, “I’m ready to come home. I miss everyone. I saw a guy yesterday that had on an outfit that would make Emmett proud,” I laughed. “It just drilled home how much I miss everyone.” “Well, in a month you will be able to see everyone.” “Well, actually I’ve sped up the process. Instead of a month I should be home in about a week. We are packing up the condo now.” Brian was silent. I didn’t know what I expected when I told him I was coming back so soon, but silence wasn’t it. I didn’t expect him to jump up and down but I was hoping for more than silence. Just as I was about to say something sarcastic he spoke. “That’s quick. It will be good to see you again,” he paused. I heard him clear his throat. “I…I sorta missed you.” I could feel the smile lifting up the corners of my lips. “I missed you too,” I said softly. We were both silent. I let all of the old feelings for Brian float away. I had loved Brian the way a woman loved a man. Those feelings were gone now. They had been replaced with something just as substantial just as deep. I now loved Brian the way a woman loved a man, she knew she could never have, but wanted the very best that life could offer him. I loved him the way I should have loved him in the beginning. As a very, very special friend. “Yeah, you are sorta annoying but I had gotten used to you.” “Asshole,” I laughed. “You sound good, Eve. I saw the pictures. They are magnificent.” “You have to give a lot of the credit to Heather. She really is a great photographer,” I demurred. Brian snorted, “Can the modesty. It doesn’t suit you. The camera loves you, always have. The pics look sexy and hot because you are sexy and hot…to lesbians and straight guys.” I laughed, “Okay, you are right. The pics are hot and sexy still, Heather is a great photographer. She knew how to get just the right pose to accentuate all my positives.” “Yeah, she did,” he agreed. “Maybe she can do your next photo shoot. These pics are good for a few preliminary publicity ads but we will need a few full body shots when you get back. That’s if you are up to it.” I could hear the concern in his voice, “Yeah, I’ll be up to it. On my last doctor’s visit I was cancer free. Still, I’d like to wait at least another month or so before we do the full body shots. I’ve been a little lax with my workouts the last few months. I need to work out with my trainer for a few weeks get my muscles toned and firm again. After that you can take all the full body shots you want. Now, enough about me how are you and Justin doing?” “We are *doing* it in every room.” I could envision the smirk on his face at his reply. “Hell, I know that,” I shot back. *Doing It* was never the problem. How are other things…like your relationship?” I knew how sensitive Brian was about the word relationship but to my surprise he didn’t scoff at the word. So, I continued, “I heard you mention Justin was at home, as in, the loft?” “Yeah,” he said softly then firmly. “Justin is living with me now. He’s decided that he can pull me out of my employment and money woes. After today the employment picture is looking better.” He paused. “Well, go ahead I know you have a lot to say because I didn’t and I wouldn’t allow anyone else to tell you I had been fired.” “You are so right. I have a helluva lot to say, but I’ll wait until I see you in person.” I know he didn’t miss the fake sweetness dripping from my voice. “I can’t wait,” he replied sarcastically. “Neither can I,” I countered. “And Brian there are other things we need to talk about, but not over the telephone.” “Okay,” I could tell he was confused but I knew he wouldn’t push me. “We will talk when you get home.” Heather stuck her head back in the door. “If we are going to go to that flea market we need to leave now.” I smiled in acknowledgement, “Brian I have to leave. I’ll talk to you tomorrow night.” “Deal,” he said. ------------------------------------------------ BRIAN I was sitting at my desk working on the new layouts for Night Beat when Justin walked behind me and hugged me laying his smooth face against mine. I could smell the citrus shampoo he used for his hair and the crisp cologne he favored. He reached forward and picked up the board with the color photo of Eve. It simply read *Come spend the night with me* WPITT’s Night Angel and the times for her radio show. It was only a facial shot but it was sexy, erotic and alluring. It was something about Eve’s eyes and smile. “She really does look good,” I was concentrating so hard I hadn’t heard Justin walk up behind me. “She looks much better than she did before she left. Daphne told me that she was cancer free.” I reached behind me to rub his smooth arms, “Yeah, she is. I guess that homeopathic shit she tried worked. Plus the rest was good for her.” Justin studied the board. “This is a great ad. Its simplicity is powerful.” I took the board out of his hand and critiqued my work. “Yes it is,” I agreed. “Such modesty,” he said playfully. I returned his playful smile, “I’m still working on it.” Justin reached around and picked up the black and white photo of Eve. The photo was the one with the water cascading down her face, neck, over her shoulders to end at the valley between her breasts. “I can only imagine the reaction this photo will get. This would be a straight guy or a muncher’s wet dream.” His words clicked. I had been looking at the picture most of the night trying to think of the right words. I jotted the words down as the idea formed and cemented in my mind. “That’s exactly what I should put on the board.” I told him. He gave me a superior smirk. “How did I ever make it without you?” “You didn’t,” he replied arrogantly. “But don’t worry you’ll never have to worry about making it without me ever again.” I put down the photo and pulled Justin around to sit in my lap. He straddled me. “This can wait,” I said pushing the ads aside as I ground our lower bodies together. I could feel his lengthening, hardening and pressing against mine. I cupped his hard on through his jeans. “This can’t.” --------------------------------- EVE Heather and I had been packing most of the morning. Heather had left earlier to run a few errands. I was left to finish packing. Although I had to admit most of the stuff was mine, still a little disgruntled that I had been left with the packing. It didn’t seem as if we had that much but I had bought a lot of clothing and furniture that we had to have shipped to Pittsburgh. The ringing telephone gave me a reason to stop packing. I checked the caller ID before I answered. It was my Daddy. “Hey Daddy.” “How’s my Angel Cakes?” I wondered if I would always be Daddy’s Angel Cakes and I hoped I always would. “I’m great as usual. I have some good news.” “Well, don’t keep me waiting what is it?” “I’ll be home in about a week. Sooner if Heather and I can wrap things up.” I had to stop there. Daddy still didn’t know that I was in Philadelphia. So, I couldn’t tell him I was only a few hours away from him. “I can’t wait to see you baby ! It seems like you’ve been gone for ages. I really miss you,” he said softly. I could hear the love in his voice. It reached out and drew me in. “I love you too Daddy.” I took a deep breath. It was time for us to be honest with each other. “Daddy when I get back we need to talk. There are some things that I have been keeping from you. When I get home we are going to have a talk just you and me. I’m your daughter and I should be able to tell you everything and you should be able to tell me everything.” I thought about my kinky side. I did a little grimace. “Well almost everything,” I said. “You are right baby. We do need to talk. There some things I haven’t told you either. When you get home I’ll cook you a great meal, your favorite chocolate, coconut, caramel cake and we will talk.” I let out a soft sigh. Everything was going to be right. I knew Dad was talking about his HIV status. “I’ll be home soon Daddy and you will be the first one I call. I love you Daddy.” “I love you too baby girl.” We talked a few more minutes and then hung up. I thought wistfully about my conversation with my Daddy. I couldn’t wait to get home. I cut up the volume on the stereo and continued to pack. I was happy. I had to admit it had been a long time since I had felt this good. The telephone started to ring again. I thought it was Heather but it was the flea market Heather and I had visited last weekend. I wondered why they were calling then I remembered I'd given the antique dealer my number to call me if an item I was looking for came in. I grabbed the telephone. “Hello.” “Can I speak to Ms. Worthington-Grassi.” “This is she.” “I was calling to tell you we got a set of antique rocking chairs in today. I know when you were at my shop last week you were interested in them. If you would like to come and take a look at these I can put them on hold for you.” I was excited. I had been trying to find a matching set of antique rocking chairs for months. “I’ll be there in about an hour.” I hung up, grabbed my purse and keys and wrote a quick note to Heather. I put the note on the refrigerator where we left all of our messages and left the condo. It looked like rain when I stepped outside. The drive to the flea market was uneventful. The chairs were exactly what I was looking for. The vendor and I haggled over the price for almost fifteen minutes. He knew I wanted the chairs and he was playing hardball. I was too. I liked being screwed but not when I was trying to buy something. We finally came up with a price we both felt good about. I paid for the chairs to be shipped to Pittsburgh. I was in the parking lot when my cellular phone started to ring. I opened my car door, pulled my cellular telephone out and tossed my purse on my seat. I leaned my hip against the car as I answered the phone. “Hello.” “Miss me?” Harrison’s sexy voice came across the line. “Maybe,” I answered playfully. “Well, I certainly miss you. More than I thought possible,” he added softly. I believed him. His tone was so earnest. “I miss you too,” I replied. “I don’t have much time I have to be on the set in about a minute. I...I just wanted to tell you something. I said I’d wait until we were face to face…give you time to adjust, but this can’t wait,” he said seriously. He paused. I became impatient and curious. “Harrison?” I heard him release a breath, “I love you, Eve.” I was utterly speechless. Sounds…syllables came out of my mouth but no words. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if he even expected an answer. “You don’t have to say it. You just have to tell me accept my love.” “Accept it,” I said incredulously. “Harrison I treasure it. Your love is a gift I didn’t know I needed or wanted until I heard you utter the words.” “I love you, Eve,” he said again reverently. I could hear someone calling him in the background. “I have to go they are calling me. Call me later. We’ll talk.” “Yeah, we’ll talk,” I repeated. I stood there in shock. It took me several minutes to realize Harrison had hung up the phone. I held the phone bemused. *Harrison loved me.* I let the words repeat in my mind over and over again. He wasn’t the first man that had uttered those words to me, BUT he was the man that mattered. The rain hitting me brought me out of my thoughts. I slid behind the wheel of my car and pulled out of the parking lot. The rain was coming down in a steady down pour. I cut on my defroster and wipers. Put in Next Lifetime in the CD player. I was thinking about going home to Pittsburgh. I was so excited. I was humming along to Next Lifetime thinking about Harrison. He’d told me he loved me. I missed him. It was still amazing to me how a man I’d only known for a few weeks was so important in my life. I was thinking about how my life would change when I got back to Pittsburgh. With Harrison it all just seemed so complete now. I’d have the complete family. I could feel the corners of my lips lifting up into a wide smile. As I listened to the words of the song I realized that I didn’t have to wait to a next lifetime. It was all going to happen for me *this lifetime.* If I could hold on to this moment. This euphoria I was feeling I’d never have to worry about a next lifetime. This lifetime would be all I’d need. I was stopped at the red light. I was humming and bobbing my head to *Next Lifetime* when my lifetime changed. It all happened in a matter of milliseconds yet, in my mind it was all in slow motion. For some reason I looked up in the rearview mirror. The visibility out of the back window wasn’t very good, but still I saw the lights of the car coming. It was traveling at a high rate of speed. A very high rate of speed. Even from the distance I knew that the car would never be able to stop on time. As all of this was going through my mind I looked around for a way to avoid the impact I knew was only milliseconds from happening. I had nowhere to go. If I drove forward I would hit other cars and I couldn’t risk endangering someone else’s life. My only avenue of escape was to try and move my car a little to the left and just hope it was enough. It wasn’t. I clutched the steering wheel with all my strength and braced my self. I heard the crash before I felt it. The crunching of metal crumpling filled my ears. The car hit the side of my car sending my car careening to the side only to be struck by another car. I was trying to grasp what was happening but it was all happening too fast. At one point I knew my car was air born. I should have been afraid, but before the fear could register my car was landing on solid ground jolting my entire body. Before I could register the pain the car was flipping over and over and over. People say that your life flashes in front of your eyes. My life didn’t. The only thing flashing in front of my eyes were a myriad of colors as the car flipped. My thoughts were jumbled … chaotic. I couldn’t think or concentrate. I was simply holding on in survival mode. Then when I thought the car would continue to flip over it finally stopped. For a few seconds there was a eerie surreal quality about atmosphere. Silence. I realized the car was still. The pain came so quickly and so intensely it was hard to register exactly where the pain was. It was nowhere…everywhere. It just seemed to vibrate through out my entire body. I could hear activity above me. I wasn’t sure what it was. I tried to turn and couldn’t move. I realized I was trapped by the air bag. Something wet was trickling in my eye. I tried to raise my right hand to wipe it away. My hand wouldn’t move. It was twisted at an unnatural angel. I used my left hand to wipe at my eye. I could see, but it was blurry. My car had landed on its side. I tried to take a deep breath and couldn’t. My lungs wouldn’t expand. I tried panting. It only helped a little. I was trying to stay alert but I couldn’t. The pain was constant and so intense I couldn’t concentrate on my thoughts. . *Faith and Hope.* I kept muttering. *Faith and Hope, *Faith and Hope…* Those were my last thoughts as I lost consciousness. I regained consciousness to bright lights being shone in my eyes. People were lifting and poking and pressing on me. I tried to mutter for them to stop, but my lips seemed to be too swollen for the words to past. I could feel my clothes being cut away. I heard the beeping of machines. People were running and talking all around me. I wanted to tell them to call my Daddy. I wanted to tell them to call my family. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Brian. I really needed to talk to Brian. I tried to move my lips and I felt blood gurgling out of my mouth and nose. I tried to hold on to the euphoria I had earlier. I thought about Harrison. He loved me. I tried to recall the words and music to Next Lifetime. I had to have Faith and Grace. It was all that mattered now. All I had left. “She’s crashing, she’s crashing!” Someone was yelling. It didn’t matter to me. I was floating in a place where the pain and hurt couldn’t get to me. *Faith and Grace* it was all I could think about. *Faith and Grace were the last thoughts on my mind as I lost consciousness for the last time.* ------------------------------- BRIAN Justin and I were looking through a list of commercial properties that Jennifer had given me. Justin had pulled up a chair next to my desk. “I like that one,” Justin said pointing to the picture on the screen. It was a building in the warehouse district that had potential. “It has a lot of windows. Lots of light and that area is being renovated. It will probably be cheap and it’s not too far from Liberty Avenue.” I had to admit that Justin’s reasoning was sound. I put the property on the list of my favorites. “Yeah, it’s so close to Woody’s and Babylon I can go and get a blow job on my lunch hour,” I quipped. Justin gave me a lewd smile, “You can order in a blow job. I’ll deliver just for you.” “I feel privileged.” “You should,” he replied. “Can I get a sample of the delivery service,” I said pushing my chair from the desk. I rubbed my cock. Justin pushed his chair back. The ringing of my cellular telephone put a temporary halt to our play. “Hold that though,“ I said as I flipped open the telephone. “Yeah,” I answered. I could literally feel the color draining from my face as Heather talked. My eyes met Justin. I conveyed the seriousness of what I was hearing to him with just a look. Justin didn’t say anything. He just gripped my hand. “We’re on our way.” I closed the telephone. “What?” Justin asked anxiously. “Eve has been in an accident.” I took a deep breath. I didn’t even want the next words to leave my mouth. I took another deep breath in an effort to steady myself. “Heather said we need to hurry.” Justin didn’t ask any more questions we were both moving to the bedroom. I grabbed my car keys and put on some shoes. Justin was right behind me as I left the bedroom. “I’ll call Vic,” Justin said. “What do you want me to tell him?” “Just…Just tell him to get ready. Tell…tell,” I took a deep breath to calm my racing nerves, “Tell him we will explain when we get there.”