Month Two: Week Two It was lights-out, but as per usual Justin’s bedside lamp was on and he was sketching. Brian sat up in his bed and looked at the teddy bear. “He needs a name,” Brian said casually rotating the bear to face Justin when the blond looked-up. Blue eyes narrowed as they met Brian’s gaze, and Justin returned to his work. “You know it’s true,” Brian commented. “You probably have one picked out. What is it? I’m sleeping with someone I haven’t been formally introduced to. It’s awkward,” Brian joked. Justin shook his head, and Brian wondered if that was a blush coloring the boy’s cheeks -- but in the dim light, it was difficult to tell. “Okay, Boys,” Daphne said as she entered the room. “Lights are out in a bit. Pleasant dreams!” she waved as she sauntered out of the room. Brian had come to an important realization involving his roommate. After two years of steady silence the staff of Liberty, and even Justin’s friends, had come to accept his silence and accommodate it. This was completely reasonable and understandable; the staff had no choice but to work around it if they had any desire to make progress with Justin. Likewise, if Justin’s friends wanted to remain his friends, they had to understand that Justin just wasn’t going to speak. The problem came when everyone around was compensating for the blond. Justin had no reason to talk; there was absolutely no pressure to get him to do so. Brian had no idea how he intended to succeed where many had failed before. He had no special knowledge that might help him, only a determination to hear his roommate speak. He rationalized this determination with ease. When you are assigned to live in one place for four months that was regimented, stressing and also mind numbing, you needed all the distraction you could get. When Brian awoke the next morning the first thing he saw was the teddy bear sitting on his night stand wearing it’s purple sparkling movie-star sunglasses and it’s purple shirt and holding a piece of paper. ‘Hello, my name is Gus’ the paper read, and Brian smirked. “Gus, huh? Why Gus?” he asked his roommate. Justin was already awake, reading a book on his bed. In response, Brian received only a brief glance and a raised eyebrow. “Quit stealing my looks,” Brian said, and Justin smiled innocently. ....... Brian’s intention when he had decided to quit smoking had been, firstly, to prove to himself that he was capable of it and that he was really working through the program to get better. The second reason had been that hopefully the irritation of quitting smoking would distract him from the other irritations he was enduring , such as daily sessions with Lindsay. He had not anticipated that when Blake handed over a small box of gum, that he also had a stress reliever that he could take with him into his session, and his therapist couldn’t say a damn thing about it. In fact, the only times he wasn’t chewing gum was when he was eating, or in his bedroom. “Congratulations, Kiss-ass,” Melanie said as breakfast. To his quirked brow she elaborated. “Blake gushes all over the people who quit while they’re here.” “That’s almost enough incentive for me to take up smoking again,” Brian said. “You boys are far too hard on Blake,” Emmett said, smacking Mel in the arm. “He’s a miracle worker as far as I’m concerned. Why he ---“ “We know!” Brian, Michael and Melanie chorused. ....... It was a relief to Brian that, after the revelations of the prior week, Lindsay didn’t press him to talk about his time spent in other institutions growing up, or those years where he had lived with his mother and father. He was aware, of course, that circuitously, that was what she was focusing on, but he found he preferred talking about the subtle affects his childhood had on who he had become, rather than focusing directly on what had been done to him. What had been done no longer mattered, what mattered was how it had affected him and it was a relief that she, for the moment, seemed to agree with him on that point. Once or twice, Lindsay had even brought in a short story that they had read together, and then listened as Brian gave his opinion on the story and the characters, and possible motivations. Brian wasn’t quite certain what it was she was learning, though he supposed it was insight to his outlook as well as clues to how he had been affected by his life experiences. “Does anyone in your family know you’re here?” she asked that morning, near the end of the session. “I suppose it’s possible, but I didn’t tell them. I don’t talk to my mother or my sister, if I can help it. My father gets in touch with me sometimes when he needs money, but beyond that we never see each other.” It struck him, then that every time his father came to him, sought him out because he needed money, Brian never turned him down. Every time his mother called, he was hard pressed to even give her the time of day. Every time Jack had hit him, smacked him, kicked him, locked him in the dark basement , that didn’t compare to every time his mother had stood by, silent, and let it happen. For all he knew his mother drank to forget her sins, and prayed to have those sins erased. Jack, however, didn’t seem to feel he’d done anything wrong at all. In the middle was Brian, who couldn’t stand to look at his mother, but still wanted so badly to make his bastard father proud. “I’m an adult,” Brian said when Lindsay pressed him. “I no longer have to care what my mumsy and daddy think.” ...... The next morning, Brian set Gus-bear on Justin’s night table, purple sunglasses back in place, holding a card: I feel it’s my duty to inform you that you snore in your sleep. When Justin saw the card he smiled and gave that soft laugh that always left Brian wondering what his roommate would sound like if he ever laughed fully and freely. Justin didn’t snore. Sometimes he screamed, and he snuffled a little when he was falling asleep. Brian could tell when the blond slept deeply because sometimes his breath was audible from across the room , like waves. Still, Brian felt he’d made some kind of connection with his roommate, and Gus-bear would be his emissary, another battlefront in the war to get Justin to speak. Justin flung the card, Frisbee-like across the room and rolled his eyes. “What did I do?” Brian asked. “It’s Gus’s fault.” He rose to wash and when he returned to the room, he paused, leaning against the wall at the foot of Justin’s bed. “I think Gus is gay. That is just not a manly T-shirt.” They both turned to look at Gus-bear’s purple-sparkly movie-star glasses, and the purple T-shirt that proclaimed the teddy: Queen of Fucking Everything. Justin blushed lightly and didn’t quite meet Brian’s eyes, but Brian watched the blond carefully adjust Gus-bear’s T-shirt, Brian read the words behind the movement: I don’t care, I love him, -- there’s nothing wrong with that, anyway. “Come on, Princess,” Brian said. “Let’s go for breakfast.” ....... Michael was taken to solitary mid-week because he and his roommate had a fight. Apparently, Michael was moping and it had driven his roommate (who was also moping) into a depressed sort of rage, and Brian wasn’t exactly sure how two unhappy men could find within themselves enough will to live (or even care) to fight with one another, but they did. “My poor baby,” Debbie said as she fretted. “His roommate is going to be moved, though. There’s a new patient who’s coming in and Michael will be his buddy.” Brian never paid any attention to the new patients. Surprisingly, once The Gang had adopted him, he moved in different circles that somehow separated him from the majority of the other patients. For instance, Brian didn’t even know the name of Michael’s roommate. In fact, the only detail he could remember about Michael’s roommate was the scar on his face, beyond that, he was just another Liberty patient who had little to no significance in Brian’s opinion. “An entire week alone!” Debbie moaned. “He’ll be fine,” Emmett soothed the nurse. “We pop by and press our faces against that little window every so often. He’s probably happy to finally get some peace and quiet.” “There’s a window?” Brian asked, curiously. “Oh, sure,” Emmett said. “A little one for the nurses to use to check on the patient.” Brian filed the information away. The truth was he was aware of date, and whether he was motivated by boredom or something else, he wanted to know what the hell was going on with his enigmatic roommate. “Maybe we should visit him,” Brian offered. It was just he and Emmett that afternoon. “Sounds like a plan. We’ll put your mind at ease, don’t worry,” Emmett said to Debbie. Brian followed Emmett through the halls, memorizing the path they took. The solitary rooms were located in a hallway as far from the rec room and main entrance as it was possible to be. The hallway was long, lined with doors on one side and windows on the other. Brian didn’t think the floor could be any quieter, but it was infinitely quieter here. “Here we are,” Emmett said, his voice echoing. “Mikey, Babe?” Emmett asked, tapping on the glass. “You have to be quiet because the nursing staff don’t like us pestering the patients here.” “Isn’t the point of solitary to keep the person isolated?” Brian asked. “Well, sure,” Emmett said. “But the nurses like me.” Brian watched as Emmett pressed his face against the small square window. “Michael!” Emmett exclaimed, sounding shocked. “Oh my,” he said, though he didn’t back away from the window. “I probably shouldn’t be watching this.” “What?” Brian asked, clearly amused when Emmett finally stepped away from the window. “He’s, uh, he’s having a little Mikey time.” “I bet,” Brian said with a devil’s grin. “We should probably go,” Emmett said. He looked flustered, smoothing out his uniform and strutting down the hallway. “Oh my.” ...... Thursday evening, following dinner, Emmett corralled Melanie, Justin and Brian into the rec room. “They’re showing ‘Titanic’ tonight! The whole thing , though they probably edited, the bastards,” Emmett said. “Party night!” Emmett called. The other two seemed to understand this better than Brian did. He would soon learn. Party night, occurred whenever a movie that struck Emmett’s fancy was on TV. Apparently, it was a mandatory event as Brian learned when he tried to sneak-out. It consisted of everyone eating the candies or chocolate they had purchased on their field trip, and acting like idiots. Justin munched chocolate and held Gus-bear in one arm, and Emmett in the other, as Emmett grew emotional. Brian found, surprisingly, that it was easy to succumb to the spirit of the evening. “Oh my god!” Daphne exclaimed when she stumbled on them sitting in the rec room with the lights off. It was a commercial break, which was the only reason why she had each of their full attention. “I’m getting a picture!” She went flying from the room and returned with a camera. In all honesty, they likely were an absurd sight. Emmett had a ridiculously large stockpile of candied jewellery, which he and Justin wore like Mardi Gras beads. They’d even draped some of it on Brian. Melanie, a fan of liquorice, had a long liquorice rope coiled around her neck. For the picture, Justin sat between Mel and Brian on the couch; Emmett sprawled across their laps in a swoon, all of them laughing -- the sugar proving very potent after being deprived of it for so long. Increasingly, Brian caught himself commenting on the movie, sometimes even reciting a line or two. “Honey, loving ‘Titanic’ is everyone’s guilty secret,” Emmett said, when Brian tried to say he hated the film. By the time Rose was cornering a nervous, and clearly horny Jack in her rooms, Brian had pried Gus-bear from Justin’s grasp. “I want you to draw me like one of your French girls,” Brian said in a high-pitched falsetto drawl, as he walked Gus-bear across Justin’s legs. “Wearing this,” he yanked a candied bracelet off Emmett’s wrist, grinning like an idiot as the others laughed. “Wearing only this,” he said. “Oh Jack!” he said, making the bear swoon against Justin. “He’s lost it!” Mel proclaimed. “That’s what I’m here for,” Brian said. ......... The next morning Brian awoke to see Gus-bear sitting on his night table. As was the tradition, he held in his paws a piece of cardboard. Instead of a written message, as was usual, Gus-bear held a picture. The sketch was of the teddy without his purple T-shirt but still wearing his movie-star glasses. The pose was a mockery of the sketch of Titanic; Justin had even included the candied necklace. Brian tucked the sketch into his drawer where he’d put all the messages Justin had given him. ....... “He’s doing just fine,” Emmett proclaimed a moment later. “Here, he wants to see you.” Emmett started pushing Brian towards the window. Brian peered into the small room, surprised that it wasn’t white, as he had expected, but instead was light, robin’s egg colour. Michael was sitting on the bed, and looked slightly stricken when Brian caught his eye. “Oh he’s fine,” Emmett said when they headed back to the main section of the floor. “He has a bit of a crush on you.” “I hadn’t noticed,” Brian drawled. “Really? I would have thought it was obvious!” Emmett said, not catching Brian’s sarcasm. “Michael’s a sweet-heart, but he’s really needy. You two would kill each other before the end of a week. You’d make a cute couple, though.” “Don’t play match-maker with me,” Brian said. “Suit yourself,” Emmett said. ......... Brian wrote the note early in the morning, having woken from a dream only to find returning to sleep impossible. He wrote the message with a thick black marker without even thinking about it, but once he’d capped the pen and re-read the message, he was slightly stunned to realize he was flirting, had been flirting, in fact, all week. Justin was not the type of man Brian was usually attracted to. He was young, blond, blue-eyed and barely muscled. He was pale, and looked like a schoolboy , hell, he was a schoolboy, if he weren’t in a hospital. True, he had a very fine ass, but when Brian tricked it was about power. It was taking someone who was bigger and stronger than he himself was, and bending him to Brian’s own will. Justin was a complete contradiction. Physically, his lithe young roommate wasn’t at all the sort of thing Brian would have entertained. Yet, the blond was tougher than any of those outwardly godlike men Brian had been taken with before. Maybe that was a bigger challenge. Or at least, maybe it was one that was more worthwhile. Brian didn’t want to entertain the other possibility, which dealt with the difference between a trick and , something else. Like it or not, the sexual undercurrent had been present since he’d awoken to find Justin asleep in his bed. Maybe even before then. Maybe as early as when Brian had walked through the door and seen Justin sitting on his bed sketching. It was getting more difficult to ignore, though. Especially after an entire week of exchange messages that became increasingly loaded with innuendo as the days passed, using Gus-bear as their mouthpiece. “You are one dirty, dirty bear, my friend,” Brian whispered to the teddy. He looked across the room to where Justin lay, still asleep. They had shared a bed only once, and Brian didn’t remember any of it, except how it felt to wake with the blond in his arms. They didn’t touch frequently, had never kissed, had certainly never done anything more. Hell, he’d never even seen his roommate naked. Justin always made certain to change in the bathroom, though Brian was far more casual with his body. He set Gus-bear on Justin’s nightstand before returning to his side of the room. It would be easy to pretend he was only teasing, that Justin’s reactions were amusing. Brian didn’t usually lie, though. He picked-up his book and settled down to read. When Justin woke, Brian watched as he found the note and read it. The blush started slowly, crept up the pale cheeks until he was a dusty rose colour. Justin didn’t meet his eyes, but there was a shy smile on the blonde’s lips. Justin sat Gus back on his nightstand, made his bed and quickly went into the bathroom to wash and change, leaving the note on his bed: Was it good for you? ------------------- Chapter Six: -------------------