“Try not to burn the loft down,” Brian said, reaching across the table and snagging one of the sliced peppers Justin usually served at breakfast. Brian had soon learned that Justin liked the sweetness of the red ones best. “Have a good day at work, dear,” Justin teased in a falsetto. “Christ,” Brian snarked. Justin laughed and waved Brian out the door. He’d officially lived at the loft for three days and three nights, and Brian couldn’t have been happier to see Justin settling in. “Oh, that would be your babysitter,” Brian said when someone buzzed. He pressed the button to allow the person entry while Justin huffed. “I don’t need a babysitter,” Justin said. “After yesterday, I’m not taking any chances,” Brian said. In an effort to find a place to store Brian’s large collection of shoes which were ‘summer wear’ apparently, he’d pulled a chair to the closet and proceeded to clear a place for the shoe boxes on the top shelf. He’d discovered a large black box pushed towards the back. Curiosity having gotten the better of him, Justin had reached on his tiptoes to pull the box out, but he’d lost balance and the box had tipped over and spilled its contents down on Justin, who had fallen onto the floor. In anticipation of Justin’s presence in the loft, Brian had cleared all his sex-toys from the drawer by the bed where he usually kept them, and it was these that now came spilling out, pelting Justin as the blond stared wide-eyed at the dildos and beads and various and sundry toys that had come tumbling out as if he’d opened Pandora’s box itself. Brian had made it to the top of the stares to see Justin laughing so hard tears streamed down his face, in a puddle of sex toys. “I can’t leave you alone for a minute!” Brian had complained. It had taken considerably more than a minute for Justin to stop laughing. He had bruises from some of the larger dildos that had fallen on him. “Baby!” Emmett said, when Brian had pulled back the door. “Emmett? What are you doing here?” Justin asked, running over and hugging his friend. “Yes, yes, it’s all very touching, and we’re all so very happy. Excuse me, I have to go to work,” Brian snarked. He picked up his briefcase and stalked towards the door. “Remember to set the alarm,” Brian reminded. “Sure,” Justin said. “Later.” “Later,” Brian responded absently as he headed out. “Oh my lord! I’m so excited!” Emmett said. “But what are you doing here?” Justin asked. “Well, Mr. I Have to Work phoned me and said that you, Honey, were in desperate need of some beautiful clothes! I’m more than happy to help, though he’s vetoed some of the stores I would highly recommend. I’m afraid we’re working with several restrictions, but I think we can manage.” “Let me get my shoes and my wallet,” Justin said. ...................... They took the bus to the mall and proceeded to peruse every store -- within reason -- until Emmett declared it was time for a break. They ate food at the food court, and decided on a strategy. They started with underwear. Justin couldn’t see how this was any of Emmett’s business, but the man kept bringing over different styles. “Ooh! These silky ones, I bet Brian would love those!” “Why would Brian care about my underwear?” Justin asked, his face red. “Honey,” Emmett said. “Tell me you’re not serious.” Justin turned even redder but added them to his pile. “I think I’ve got enough,” Justin said. He’d vetoed some of the crazy undergarments Emmett had brought over, no stripes or bright colours. He stuck with plain white and plain black. They picked-up socks as well, before Justin purchased everything and they moved onto the next stage. Justin liked the low-rise jeans they picked-out, and he picked-up cargo pants as well; and T-shirts, and plain shirts and sweaters. Because he knew he would be looking for a job soon, Justin picked-up some business-casual clothes. He was feeling very spoiled, even if he was paying for it all himself and by the time Emmett suggested they moved onto shoes and accessories, Justin was ready for another break. “I think we’ve done quite well,” Emmett said. “And I bought you a little something special to celebrate your freedom.” They’d taken a cab back to the loft and Justin had spread all his purchases out surveying his accomplishment. “You didn’t have to do that,” Justin said as Emmett handed him a bag. Emmett dismissed this comment with a wave of his hand and Justin opened the box. “You’re kidding, right?” he asked. “They’ll look amazing!” Emmett said. “For clubbing! You’ve got to experience Babylon, and in this, Honey, you’ll make a splash!” Justin pulled out the black leather pants and the sheer black shirt that would offer just a hint of the skin it covered. “Thanks Em,” Justin said, though he wasn’t certain he’d ever wear something like that out in public. He’d try it on in the bathroom and see how he looked. “I should probably put all this away before Brian gets home.” “Oh Baby,” Emmett said. “I’m so happy for you!” ......................... Brian’s day had been agony after agony. Files lost by incompetent once-employees, wire transfers getting delayed because of bank issues, ad boards looking like something a baby might cough up on noodle-night. He’d yelled, he’d paced, he’d pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t throw anything or punch a wall out, so he was certain both Lindsay and Dr. Erik would agree he had handled his stress quite well. The point was he just wanted to go home, drink a bottle of JB and collapse onto bed after watching some bad TV. Stepping out of the elevator, Brian had his keys ready and the loft door was open in a minimal amount of time and just as quickly he became acquainted with the irritating, grating sound of pots striking pans. He took a bracing breath, reminding himself Justin was not responsible for his shitty day. Tried to prepare himself for Justin’s running description of his own day, because Brian was certain the blond at least had a good day and was now eager to share every second of it. When he thought he was ready he closed the loft door and stepped forward, peered into the kitchen to see only Justin’s bottom half sticking out of a cupboard. He admired the view, but it raised his spirits only slightly. Dropping his briefcase on the table, Brian was removing his suit jacket when Justin popped out of the cupboard and sprung-up to his feet with ease, his bright smile disappearing when he noticed Brian’s face. Brian wasn’t sure what he should say, was surprised he felt a bit guilty for bringing his bad mood home because it was dampening Justin’s good mood and the blond needed good memories. Still, it was his home as well, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to come and go from it as he pleased. He was cut-off when Justin stepped forward and covered his mouth with one hand and kissed his temple. Then he was pushed up the stairs to the shower. Justin grinned a little and then pulled the bathroom door closed with just dramatic slowness that Brian got the point. He showered and tried to put the day behind him, like Lindsay had taught him. Feeling a bit better when he was done and grateful enough that he thought he might be prepared to hear Justin’s monologue, Brian threw on some clothes and stepped out to the main living space, but the Justin only glared at him when he opened his mouth to speak, and so they ate the soup Justin had prepared silently. They left the dishes on the table as Brian was once again ushered in a direction, this time to the couch. Brian sprawled out while Justin flicked on the TV, and instead of sitting on one of the other chairs, Justin climbed onto Brian’s sprawled body and settled himself. Brian felt a gentle kiss placed at his throat and then got a mouthful of blond hair as Justin shimmied down and rested his head on Brian’s chest. So JB was replaced by JT, which just might be an improvement, Brian thought. ................................ Justin lasted four nights, which was huge, in his opinion. Still, that was four nights of climbing into bed beside Brian and dreading falling asleep. And since Justin didn’t do anything halfway, when it happened, it happened on a grand scale. He slid into wakefulness like a baseball player sliding into home plate. He already knew what had happened, wasn’t quite sure how Brian would take it and didn’t think he was prepared to talk about it anyway, so he kept his eyes closed, tried to breathe and tried to put the images out of his mind. Brian touched his shoulder, likely to comfort him or to catch his attention, but coming down from the nightmare as he was, the unexpected contact made Justin’s entire body jerk so violently he almost hopped right off the bed. “Justin,” Brian said, withdrawing his hand, but Justin could feel the bed shifting and knew Brian was sitting close to him. “I’m sorry,” Justin said, covering his face with his hands. He listened to Brian let out a slow breath of air, and didn’t remove his hands from his face. “Every night?” Brian asked. “This is the first time since I came here,” Justin said, finally dropping his hands. “I should have told you, but I don’t think it occurred to me. I think I forgot about it, for a while.” Brian nodded and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “This is why you didn’t have a roommate?” “Part of it,” Justin confessed. “I used to be able to keep awake for a while, and then if I had a nightmare whoever was sharing the room would be so fast asleep I wouldn’t bother them.” “I remember.” “But now, I’m just loud. I can’t help it. Sometimes are worse than others. I spoke to Lindsay about it and she said if that made me uncomfortable, then I didn’t have to share a room. So I got the room to myself. I’m really sorry.” “Justin,” Brian said. “Don’t be sorry, not for this, not for fucking anything.” “Okay,” Justin said. “Can you get back to sleep?” Brian asked. Justin shifted, digging through the sheets until he liberated Gus-bear from the tangle of bedding. Holding Gus-bear close, Justin turned his back to Brian and lay very still. Brian’s hand touched his waist, then moved slowly, like a snake, until his whole arm had looped around Justin’s middle, and Justin felt his body being pulled backward until he had settled against Brian’s chest. “I think I can get back to sleep,” Justin said, smiling a little. “Then do it,” Brian said. Justin closed his eyes. ........................... Justin had decided to live off his inheritance for a while, until he got adjusted to living away from Liberty. He distracted himself with sketching, going for walks, and sometimes he’d visit the local galleries. Justin refused to tell Brian that sometimes the crowds on the sidewalk were daunting, so much so that he often ducked into a small store or coffee shop until he got his bearings. Lindsay had already explained that this sort of reaction was to be expected, and Justin thought exposure to such environments in small amounts would help him adjust, so every day was a sort of test. He would go for a walk, see how he handled the crowds. On really good days he’d reward himself with a good book, or a video he’d always loved. On Saturday Justin had rewarded himself with ‘Yellow Submarine’, which had always been his favourite film, liking the animation as much as the music. He tried not to get lost in memories of all the times he’d watched it when he had been living with his parents as he’d walked home with his new purchase. For distraction, Justin had worked on convincing Brian that being ‘subjected to that crap’ was a good thing. He’d won, naturally, he always won; but he enjoyed the way Brian tried to resist. Brian had brought home a black P-coat and a scarf saying it was so he would never have to look at the hideous thing Justin had been wearing up until then. It was getting cooler and Justin appreciated the warmer coat. They’d made-out after that. Justin was enjoying those small intimacies, but he wanted more so badly. Worry filled him, however, because he knew he wasn’t ready for everything. He wondered if he ever would be. “First things, first,” Justin breathed, straightening his shoulders and heading out for his walk. He wasn’t going to let what Hobbes had done come between him and Brian. He wasn’t going to let that asshole win. He was going to get better, it wasn’t an option, it was a fact. .................. A few days after Justin had moved in, Brian had purchased a drop cloth and a large easel. Justin had been sketching and using the supplies Brian had brought him when he had still been in hospital, but Brian thought Justin might want to paint. He went-up a few times a week to Liberty to work on the mural, and have a session with Lindsay. They’d gone to get the art supplies, and Brian had watched as Justin ran his fingers gently over every brushed, gaped at every canvas, handling everything with a reverence Brian had never seen. Justin painted at odd hours, and when he did he got the paint all over himself. Brian had restricted him after the first day, to that same outfit whenever he was painting so that the blond didn’t ruin everything he had. “I don’t even want to know how you got paint in your hair,” Brian said as Justin walked passed him, setting his cleaned brushes back in the canister by the easel. “Shut up,” Justin said with a mock-glare. “I’m having a shower.” They’d made plans with Emmett to go to Woody’s. Brian didn’t want to jump right in and show Justin Babylon, he was still concerned about how the blond was adjusting. Justin tried to hide it, but he tensed and sometimes flinched when they were in large crowds. It made sense to go only with people Justin trusted and try something on a smaller scale. So Brian and Emmett had agreed and Woody’s was the place. Flipping through channels, Brian finally settled on a show that he was only half paying attention to as he waited for Justin to shower. The knock on the door wasn’t entirely unexpected. He and Justin had made bets concerning Emmett, Justin convinced that he’d meet them at Woody’s as planned, Brian almost certain that Emmett would show-up at the loft to dress Justin and then get a ride over. He had a witty comment on the tip of his tongue as he slid open the door, but he froze on the delivery because it wasn’t Emmett it was his mother. “Brian,” she greeted, pushing her way into the loft. She was carrying another cake, which she deposited on his counter. “I was just in the area and after Claire told me what you did for the boys, I’ve been meaning to ...” “Brian! Do you think this would be ... Oh. Hi.” Justin’s skin was glistening, wet from the shower. His blond hair was tussled, and he was clad in only a towel. His right hand, which had frozen the moment he had seen their guest, was grasping one of his FCUK T-shirts that Brian would never admit to liking. Brian watched as his mother’s eyes very slowly ran up the length of Justin’s body, settling on a very open and shocked expression that made Justin look even younger than he was. The little noise his mother made was something he had never heard, a cross between a whimper and a moan and something else, as if she were going to be physically ill right there. Then she turned on her heel and sped for the door. “Mother,” Brian called, turning on his heel, ignoring Justin’s frantic apologetic expression. “Don’t you dare!” his mother said, spinning back suddenly at the door. “Did your father know? Oh, Lord help me!” she moaned. “You’re going to hell for this! You’re burning in hell for this! Oh,” she seemed part enraged and part concerned for his welfare. “And with -- with that boy! -- Oh, Brian. It makes me sick. How could you? How could you?” Brian was ready, armed with sarcasm and taunts, to carry on this grand Kinney tradition. The voice that followed Joan Kinney’s statement, however, was low and controlled, and the most threatening sound Brian had ever heard. “Get out of my home.” “I--” Joan seemed just as shocked. She blinked and gaped slightly as ‘that boy’, still in only a towel, stalked forward, glaring. He was small, but Brian didn’t doubt that Justin would do serious damage. He could recognize the same dark expression that he had found on Justin’s face several months ago in a brightly painted room in solitary. “Get out,” Justin said. “Hey,” Brian said softly, intercepting Justin and pulling him close to his chest. “She’s leaving. Don’t let it throw you,” he said. Justin’s body was shaking in his arms, and he reached out with one arm to shut the loft door and lock it, his mother on the other side. “How could she say those things!” Justin said, fighting against Brian’s embrace. Brian fought to maintain his hold, and finally Justin relaxed again and let out his breath, his body going somewhat limp. “Are you okay?” Brian chuckled. “Nothing I hadn’t figured she’d say,” Brian said. Justin pressed a kiss to Brian’s chest, covered by a black silk shirt he’d planned on wearing out. “Come on.” Brian deposited Justin on the couch, poured them each a double shot of beam. Justin sat and stared at it a while before he knocked it back, gagging only a little. “I’m going to go get dressed,” Justin said, his voice sounding flat. Brian watched him go. Brian had gotten used to seeing the blue, ratty sweater. He wasn’t sure of its story, but he imagined there was one. When Justin came back down the steps from the bedroom, he was bearing it, with a long-sleeved shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans. He settled onto the couch, tucked his knees to his chest and pulled the ratty sweater over his knees. Brian poured him another short, and pondered what he should say. The buzzer rang fifteen minutes later, and Justin’s entire body, which had been relaxed, jerked in response. Brian asked who it was and it was Emmett. He let the man up, but decided not to bring-up the money Justin owed him. “What happened to you?” Emmett asked when Brian had slid open the loft door. “Change of plans,” Brian said. Emmett had been more than happy to sandwich Justin on the couch and watch ‘Dark Harbor’, which was playing on TV. “This is the worst movie I have ever seen!” Brian declared, partway through. “It’s worth it for the kiss at the end! Ooh, Alan Rickman is dreamy,” Emmett said. Brian quirked a disbelieving eyebrow. “Well, his voice his very hot,” Emmett said. “I’d do him.” “You’d do anyone,” Brian muttered. “I’m missing valuable plot because you two are bitching!” Justin said. “What are you missing? Emmett already told you the ending,” Brian snarked. Justin grinned and nudged him in the side, and Brian settled back down happy that, at least, the crappy movie had distracted the both of them from the events of the evening. ---------------------------------- End Chapter Seven: