Molly had eaten breakfast with them, and they’d driven her home. Justin had hugged her tight, but hadn’t stepped out of the car. He’d watched the house in the rear-view until Brian had turned onto a different street. By the time they cleared suburbia, Justin had pulled out his phone and was telling Merrik he wasn’t feeling well. “Do you want to go back to the loft?” Brian asked. “What?” Justin asked. “You said you didn’t feel well.” “No, it’s fine,” Justin said. The more they drove, the more agitated Justin became. Brian didn’t want to leave him by himself, but he’d shifted his morning meetings from the day before over to the next day and he had work to do. He let Justin off at the loft, then drove out again. Brian called the loft to check-in at midmorning. Justin was out of breath and said he’d just got in from walking Goose. He was distracted. “I’m gonna go over to the gym, okay?” Justin asked. “Sure,” Brian said, wondering why Justin asked. It was something Justin might have done in the beginning, when he hadn't been used to living together. He checked-in all the time and asked permission. It had been a relief to Brian when Justin had stopped asking and wondering without Brian having to have some sort of talk with him about it. “Okay,” Justin said, and then hung-up. Brian frowned at the receiver. When he returned from work, Goose practically pounced on him and it took a moment to realize the reason for the dog’s exuberance was because he really needed to go outside. Brian took Goose out, and then checked around the loft. There was no sign of Justin anywhere. Since the last place the Justin had said he was going had been Street Smartz, Brian headed there. Justin was in black sweats and wasn’t wearing a top. The boxing gloves on his hands looked strange -- he looked small and fragile beside his opponent -- but he was moving like lightning. There was a sheen of sweat on Justin’s body, Brian watched as he licked his lips, braced his body and took a punch, then struck out just as fast. It was a dance Brian had never seen before. Had never pictured Justin partaking in. He knew the young man was graceful, knew he balanced like a cat on a guardrail. He knew Justin was strong, knew he was tough. Had never envisioned him beating someone twice his size with determined efficiency. It scared Brian, because it seemed entirely too clear to him that Justin wasn’t seeing his opponent at all, but was lost somewhere else -- was fighting someone else. The two men moved in the ring, Justin striking hard coming like an avalanche at his partner, until the other man struck out and landed a lucky punch to Justin’s head, ad Justin fell over. “Fucking hell, Charlie!” Justin cursed. “Sorry man,” the other man, Charlie, said. “I had to land you one for lying to dear old Merrik. You should be at work.” “So should you!” Justin said, taking off the gloves, still glaring. “Yeah, but you were beating the shit out of me already, man. What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” Justin said. “Fuck off.” “Hey,” Brian said, catching Justin as he came down from the ring. “What are you doing here?” Justin asked, the earlier anger Brian had seen not visible any longer. “What time is it?” “It’s late. Get changed, I’ll give you a ride back.” Justin showered in the change room and dressed quickly, meeting Brian at the front of the gym. “Feel better?” “Lots,” Justin said, smiling broadly, his fingers tapping on the door handle. Brian glanced over and watched the fingers tap and nodded. .................... “Where have you been?” Jennifer cried when Molly stepped inside. “Out.” “For an entire night?” Jennifer said. “Without calling and letting anyone know where you were? I’ve been worried sick!” “I was never in any danger. And I’m home now, so you can stop worrying,” Molly said. “What’s going on with you? What’s happening?” Jennifer asked. “Why do you want to know? So you can try to fix me? If I’m too broken, will you send me away too?” “Molly, your brother was very sick,” Jennifer said. “Says you! You don’t even know what was wrong with him. Did you even ask? He won’t tell me. Nobody tells me shit.” “You watch your language in this house,” Jennifer said. “Dad swears all the time, you gonna yell at him, too?” Jennifer pursed her lips. “Didn’t fucking think so,” Molly said and climbed the stairs to her room, slamming the door. "Molly!" Jennifer called. ...................... Justin returned to the Nook to work his usual morning shift. Merrik greeted him warmly, and didn’t pester him about how he was feeling. Grimm greeted him happily when Justin headed into the storage room. After the snowfall, with Brian’s imminent return, Justin had made arrangements with Merrik to keep the dog at the Nook. Since no amount of working out at Street Smartz had quite settled him, Justin took to sorting the shelves, organizing everything. He worked without stopping, even when Merrik pestered him about eating. Finally, the other man left him to it, and by the time Justin had to drive out to Liberty, the Nook was in perfect order. Justin took Grimm with him out to Liberty; the black ruffled dog sitting happily in the front seat of Brian’s Jeep as Justin drove. Justin didn’t trust himself alone. He’d started freaking out the other day once Brian had left for work. It wasn't like the sort of panic attacks he had become accustomed to following his father's mistreatment of him and Chris' attacks. This was something else. Lindsay didn’t have any helpful advice. “Just relax and take it easy on yourself. Talking and thinking about your parents is hard. Dealing with your sister was even more difficult because it underscored the differences between you and your sister, and how your parents treat you both. Give yourself time to adjust.” Except Justin couldn’t sit still. Kept wanting to fly apart into a million tiny pieces. He worked on the mural, Grimm adding coloured Doggy footprints onto the drop cloth after he got into the paint. Michael talked incessantly which kept Justin’s mind off of everything else. He stayed late, and by the time he reached the loft. Justin felt tired and exhausted and couldn’t do much of anything except peel off his clothes and slump into bed. Brian, who had been working at the computer when Justin had come in, watched as the blond man collapsed into sleep, and sighed. It was a step-up from painting through the night. Then he frowned. Goose was happily sharing his food bowl with a scrawny black dog that Brian had never seen before. “Justin,” Brian said, closing his eyes and shaking his head, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. ........................... Justin seemed completely normal the next day, and Brian observed him closely as the blond man made omelettes. “I was wondering where the little black hairs came from,” Brian said casually. “What little black hairs?” Justin asked. The dogs barked, and Justin turned his head to where Goose and Grimm were sitting side-by-side, pink tongues hanging out of their grinning mouths. “Uhm.” “You didn’t think I’d notice little black doggy hairs all over the loft?” “I vacuumed,” Justin said defensively. “That’s not the point. What the hell is that?” he pointed to the black dog. “Goose has been really lonely. We’re both away for so long, and the radio can only do so much. It's got to be boring. I found him on the street. He doesn’t have fleas,” Justin was quick to assure Brian. “I took him to the vet and he’s healthy -- well, as healthy as you can get for a street dog. ... You bought me a dog, so I bought you one,” Justin finished. “I bought you a purebred, trained, polite little dog that had white fur that wouldn’t stick-out like a sore-thumb when he sheds on the couch. Not a street dog.” “He’s as unique as you are,” Justin said, then kneeled down and draped his arms over Grimm. “Can we keep him?” “Justin,” Brian said. “You can’t return a gift, that’s just bad manners,” Justin said. Brian snorted. “This is a trial period,” Brian said. Justin grinned and kissed him hard. “I didn’t say it was definite!” But he wasn’t fooling anyone. Even Grimm was yipping and dancing around his feet. “Get him a different food dish, I’m not having him eating out a bowl with a fucking goose on it.” “I can paint a little black dog on his bowl,” Justin said. “Why, what’s his name?” Brian asked, a look of trepidation on his face. “Grimm,” Justin said. Brian covered his eyes with one hand and shook his head. ............................. “How do you seduce someone?” Justin asked Emmett over lunch at the Diner one week after Molly had returned home. “Who are you trying to seduce, Baby?” Emmett asked. Justin gave him a look, and Emmett clapped his hands. “Ooh, do you need help setting the scene?” “I don’t want to go over the top,” Justin said. “We’ve been taking it slow -- because -- well, we have. And I don’t want to make this huge production and then, if it doesn’t work or something.” “Honey, it will work just fine,” Emmett said. Justin didn’t want to explain more. Both Emmett and Michael were all too happy to forget what had happened at Liberty, but Justin could never forget Chris, and as much as he wanted Brian, he was worried. “I’ll pick-up all sorts of romantic things!” “Don’t get carried away,” Justin warned. “Absolutely not,” Emmett said. “And you don’t have to use everything. Sit tight and finish your lunch, auntie Em will be right back with your bag of goodies.” Justin was almost worried about that, but he smiled and watched Emmett leave, and then pulled out his sketchbook. He sketched the waiters and waitresses, a table-full of a smiling friends, and was in the middle of a sketch of the growling cook who he could see from his booth when a woman bent over his shoulder. “That’s lovely,” she said. “Thank-you,” Justin said, somewhat hesitantly. “I’m sorry, my name is Fran. I’m doing some work over at the GLC -- may I?” she asked, gesturing to the sketchbook. Justin allowed her to look through the pages, flattered when she handled the book with such care and pored over each sketch. “I hope I’m not being too forward. But would you consider contributing some of your work to the show we’re running?” She rifled through her purse and handed over an official-looking sheet of paper that explained about the show and the kind of things they were looking for. “You’re asking me to show my work?” “Well, yes,” Fran said. “It’s not much. A few pieces, and there are many artists contributing. The proceeds go to charity, of course.” “I’d love to,” Justin said. Fran gave him the details of where to submit his pieces, and they were just finishing up when Emmett returned. “Who was that?” “I’m going to show my work over at the GLC,” Justin explained. “My, my, things are looking up for you on all sorts of levels,” Emmett said, dropping a large back on the table. “Now, you take those home and do something romantic.” Justin grinned and took the bag, tucking his sketchbook back into his messenger. He was about to get up when Emmett grabbed Justin’s wrist. “You be careful, Baby. Some people around here, they’re not so sold on the idea of their stud being a one man kind of guy all of a sudden.” “Some people around here don’t know Brian, or me, or what goes on at our home,” Justin said. “Ooh, I’m so happy for you,” Emmett said. Justin blushed and rolled his eyes and hurried home. ...................... Justin emptied the contents of the bag, worried about what he might find. He wanted something simple, but romantic. He had no idea where to start. Emmett had started him with candles. There were all sorts, different sizes and smells. Justin picked the less obvious smells, and settled for the large vanilla candles. He set them on the counter, on the table, on the floor, and then frowned when he eyed the dogs. Both Mother Goose and Grimm were sitting side-by-side and looking at him. “This is just too much,” Justin said. He snapped on their leashes and caught the bus. Emmett was more than happy to baby-sit, though he laughed at the idea. "Not in front of the kids, hm?" he teased. Justin ignored him. On his way back to the loft, Justin stopped into the store and picked up some ice cream, and then finished setting up. With everything ready, Justin grabbed the icecream and ate some in an attempt to settle his nerves. It didn't quite work. As it got later, he showered, lit the candles, and then paced. He wasn’t sure how to do this. Should he be naked? Should he sit on the reclining chaise, or at the table? On the table? Justin snickered, and shook his head. He paced until he heard the key in the lock, and then he threw himself at the chaise. ............... “Justin?” Brian called when he stepped inside. The loft was dimly lit, there were candles everywhere and it smelled like vanilla. He stepped further inside and saw Justin sitting on the chaise. “Hi,” Justin said. “Hi,” Brian greeted. He bent down and kissed Justin. He'd meant it to be quick but Justin wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down into a deeper kiss. Brian felt Justin’s hand guiding his own until it stopped at Justin’s groin. “Justin,” Brian gasped. “Come on,” Justin encouraged, shimmying back onto the chaise and tugging Brian further on top of him. Justin was thrusting up into Brian’s palm, which he still held in a firm grip. Brian tried to clear his thoughts. “Wait,” Brian said, pulling back and getting off the chaise. Justin stayed in place, his legs spread obscenely, his hair already ruffled and his eyes looking worried. “You want me,” Justin said, not sounding as certain as he wanted to. “That’s not what’s been holding us back,” Brian said. “I’m not fragile,” Justin said. “You can’t treat me like I’m going to break!” He was off the couch, walking passed the candles towards Brian. Brian turned quickly and pulled Justin roughly to his chest. His hands gripped Justin’s shirt, keeping him close, and he used his lips and tongue to pry Justin’s mouth open, devour him with a strong kiss. When they stepped back to breathe both of them were dishevelled. They looked at each other and then came crashing together again, Brian's handsgoing to Justin’s shirt and unfastening the buttons, while Justin freed Brian of his tie and suit jacket. They kissed ferociously, still ridding the other of their clothes as Brian stepped them backwards towards the bedroom. At the base of the stairs, Brian released Justin’s belt and smirked as he discovered Justin wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Justin kicked off the cargos and pulled Brian close again. “Don’t stop touching me,” he pleaded. Brian picked Justin up, the young man wrapping his legs tight around Brian and pressing his arousal against the other man’s bare abdomen, his mouth occupied with Brian's earlobe as the older man carried Justin onto the bed and then dropped him down, pressing their chests close as he kissed the blond’s sensitive neck, bit at his collarbone. Justin’s fingers scratched at Brian’s back and he pressed his hips upward, spread his legs wider. Brian licked his way down Justin’s pale skin, avoiding the long length of Justin’s cock, and then flipped hip over, and repeated the same procedure down Justin’s back, except he pressed his tongue into Justin’s ass, flicked it around his opening. “Oh fuck,” Justin whispered like a prayer. Brian smirked, teased with flicks and gentle circling, and then pressed his tongue into Justin, loving how Justin’s hips tilted making his entrance more accessible. Brian rimmed the blond until he was shivering and panting, then he turned Justin over again, and knelt up above his body, looking down at ruffled blond hair, dazed blue eyes, pink lips glistening in the blue light, and the smooth pale skin beneath him. Justin dropped his hands to Brian’s thighs, squeezing slightly. He was nervous, Brian could tell, but that was overlayed by lust and wanting. “You have to talk me through this,” Justin said, looking somehow even younger as he asked. Brian ghosted his mouth over Justin's hear, flicking his tongue along the shell of his ear as he reached for the lube and a condom. “Put it on me,” Brian said, pressing the condom into Justin’s palm. Justin took a shuddering breath, then shifted upward so he could reach Brian’s cock. He tore the packet open clumsily and rolled the rubber onto Brian’s arousal, while Brian flipped the cap open on the lube and warmed it between his fingers. Brian pressed his fingers passed the ring of muscle as Justin finished rolling the condom on and the sensation of being penetrated sent Justin's eyes closing tight and he flopped back onto the bed, his hand going to Brian’s upper arm, following the motion. He kneaded Brian’s arm as Brian stretched him. “Puts your legs on my shoulders,” Brian said, slipping his fingers free and guiding Justin’s legs into place. “Just relax,” Brian said. “I’ll get you there.” Justin braced himself, wrapped his fingers in the sheets and took a breath to relax. Brian held Justin’s gaze and began to push in. Justin’s body arched this time with pain, but he rode it through, gasping when Brian was fully seated. He felt stretched and full and was trying desperately to keep his mind in the present, to stay with Brian where it was safe. Brian waited, wondered if it had been too fast. Justin’s gaze kept flicking away, and every time he closed his eyes, Brian worried about losing him to a flashback. But then Justin’s hand gripped his arm again. “Move,” Justin ordered. “God, you have to move.” So Brian moved. Each time Justin broke his gaze he moved faster, thrust hard, more deliberate, skirted over Justin’s prostate and took the flashback away, overrode it with pleasure until Justin couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but breathe and form unfinished words, issuing them like prayers. “Bri ...” The sensation was unlike anything Brian had felt before. He was gasping and couldn’t think of anything except the sensation, except that he was with Justin, was inside Justin. That it was happening, that it was real. He was getting close, was trying to hold out and make it last longer, but each grunt, each mewl, each unfinished word that Justin made was an electric jolt that ran down Brian’s body. When Justin came his body tensed, bowed upwards pressing into Brian’s. Justin bit at Brian’s neck and mewled and gripped Brian’s cock inside him. Brian’s senses overloaded, carried over by the pleasure and the pain, and he came hard. He collapsed onto Justin, barely managing to brace himself on his arms. He looked down at Justin, but the blond seemed completely content, lost in a blissful afterglow. “Don’t move,” Justin said, holding Brian still when Brian tried to pullout. “I won’t,” Brian said. “Just stay with me,” Justin said, still a bit incoherent. “I’m here,” Brian said, dropping his body down over Justin’s. Justin turned his head into Brian’s neck and kissed him. “God,” he breathed. “Just stay.” “Okay.” ------------------- End Chapter Fifteen: