Beta: Helen Banner: Helen Proof: G.M. Note: I want to thank everyone for following me on this road with Jason, Brian and Justin. I hope you all enjoy the last chapter. This story has been my strength and my weakness. I have called this story my “baby” too many people. I want to personally Thank Helen for all her amazing help and the wonderful banners she continues to make for me. Gerri, for always being there when I need a friend. G.M., For helping me when I needed it as well. I also want to thank every one of you reading and commenting.
You want to catch your breath you want to get out But as you surface you don't really know how How to live upon the solid ground Sometimes it's easier to let yourself drown Love is Thick like Blood like Honey
Chicago Northwestern Memorial Hospital Jason was standing outside of Richard’s room just staring at the man who has been his partner for more than ten years. He couldn’t believe that it had only been 48 hours since he got the phone call that changed everything for him. He hated that he was waiting to see if the man, he realized that he was in love with, would live or die. 48 hours ago…. Jason arrived in Chicago in less than 6 hours. He took a cab and when he got to the hospital, he was told to go to the third floor where Richard was in surgery. After waiting and pacing up and down the corridor for 20 minutes, the nurse came over to tell him that Richard suffered from a torn spleen which was causing major bleeding. They had him stabilized right now but she said they were still very cautious of everything. He quickly thanked her and asked if he could see Richard. The first time he saw Richard he was horrified by the black and blue bruises that covered his lovers' face. Of course, the doctor said it could have been much worse than it was; he also informed Jason that they were still optimistic about it and now they had to wait and see. Waiting and seeing was killing him. He made sure Richard had a private room; he never left the room, only once a day when he made sure to walk around outside to breathe in the fresh air. He didn’t know how he could have missed it. These feelings of fear and everything in between. He knew he cared for Richard but to actually feel this way was unbelievable. He was finally going to see a professional oncologist about treatment. He knew he had to be strong to help Richard recover but first, he had to figure out if Richard would even still want him. Also, he needed to make sure Brian didn’t hate him. He never meant to hurt so many people but he had. At Britin ~ Brian stood stunned the way Jason flew out of the house; he knew that he cared for the other man but it never compared to what he felt when Justin was around. Shortly after leaving the front room he went to check on his son and to see if Justin wanted to finish their talk, Yes, Brian fucking Kinney wanted to talk about his feelings. He had to laugh at the thought but in all honesty, he wasn’t the same sarcastic asshole he was seven years ago. Yes, he could still be an asshole in the board room but he now knew that his time away from Justin gave him a chance to grow up and he was ready to be the type of partner that Justin wanted and needed. He just needed to make sure he was wanted by the blond. As he walked in the master bedroom he stopped at the door at the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. His son was curled into Justin while Justin had his arm protectively wrapped around Gus. He couldn’t believe that he even had to think of who he wanted more but in some ways, it wasn’t thinking of who he wanted; it was about who he thought he needed. A part of him wanted to be with Jason because that was who he wanted when he was still insecure; but Justin showed him the man he was and could be and not the boy he used to be. Justin encouraged him to stop at nothing and accept nothing but the best and the best was right here in his bed with his son curled inside his arms. Brian shed his clothes and put on some sleeping pants; he walked over and pulled down the comforter and curled up behind Justin and held him like he was holding Gus… Safe…secure And fully in protective mode. Richard’s POV I slowly open my eyes; I feel like I was hit by a semi trailer truck, my eyes slowly blink open. The light blinds me. I feel like something is stabbing me but that I am floating at the same time. I regain my sight, the blurriness slowly fades away. I look to my right and there is a door and then to the left is a window… I’m in the hospital. Then I look down and curled up in a chair is Jason. God! How can one idiotic man look so beautiful, completely all ragged? He looks like he hasn’t sleep in weeks. "Jason," My voice comes out ragged, my throat is dry. He slowly opens his eyes and I can tell he has been crying. His eyes are blood shot, swollen but to me he has never looked more beautiful. Jason POV Him, calling my name had to be the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. That’s when I knew what I was doing was completely stupid and selfish and I had to make it up to people; I could do it as long as I had Richard there. Jason’s face was buried on the side of Richard’s left arm, holding his arm crying. "I’m so sorry." ~Britin~ Brian, Justin, and Gus were still sleeping into the mid-afternoon. Slowly, Justin moved a little and began to stir. He looked to his right and saw a smaller version of Brian laying there still half-asleep and half-awake. Then he turned to his left and looked into the hazel eyes that made him fall in love. Brian was looking at Justin, he blushed a little at being caught. Justin smiled at the beauty of Brian and brought up his free hand that wasn’t tucked under Gus and stroked his cheek. Brian leaned down and gently brushed his lips against Justin’s. Justin: “Morning.” Brian: “Morning or more like afternoon.” Justin laughs quietly. Justin: “How did it go?” Brian: “Okay, but he ran out in the middle.” Justin: “What does that mean?” Brian: “I don’t know but I don’t really care.” Justin: “Oh, how come?” Brian: “Because I have you again and…” Suddenly, Brian becomes really shy and nervous; he isn’t sure if Justin would still want him. Why would he? I mean, he basically fucked around for the last month, but in all honesty, he wasn’t sure. He knew in his heart that he wanted Justin and no one else but it was his head that was clouded. He didn’t know. He knew that this would be it. Could he promise himself to Justin forever? Justin: “Brian, Earth to Brian!” Justin smiles a little. Brian: “Oh, Sorry.” Justin: “It’s okay. What were you saying?” Brian: “That this is where I want to be.” Justin smiles that smile that doesn’t even begin to compare to the rising sun in the morning and he pulls Brian down for a soul-crushing kiss. The men were so lost in their passion that they didn’t know Gus had woken up and was looking at his daddy and Justin sucking each others' breath out. Gus started to giggle. Brian and Justin suddenly were brought back to reality with the small sound of giggling; they stopped and rested their foreheads on each other. Gus: “Daddy, Justin… Can you breathe?” They both look at the small boy who is smiling at the two of them. Brian: “How are you feeling sonny-boy?” Gus: “Really good, Daddy. What were you doing?” Justin: “Kissing.” Gus: “Oh, Okay. Can I have breakfast now? I’m hungry.” Both Brian and Justin laugh Brian: “He’s back.” Suddenly Brian pulls Gus between him and Justin and they both gently tickle the little boy. They both don’t care if they can’t finish what they started right now. ~Inside Richard’s Hospital room~ It had been a long morning. They had taken me to run every test imaginable and not to mention the fact that I was still confused for the reason of Jason being here. I was more than happy to see him but then again, he hurt me in so many ways. But I did know what I was getting into. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with him but some how it happened. Jason~ I have to make things right. I know what I have to do and I know he is probably blaming himself right now for falling in love. It’s not like I didn’t expect it for me too, I did but I didn’t realize it. I thought I could only love one person and when I got the phone call it all became clear to me. I wasn’t in love with Brian and probably never was… Richard was the one I wanted. Suddenly, I am pulled for my own thoughts with the sound of Richard’s voice pulling me in. Richard: “What happened with Brian?” I pull my chair closer to his bed. Jason: “We slept together once but…” Richard: “What?” Jason: “I realized that he isn’t the same boy I knew.” Richard gives me this "no shit" look. Jason: “It was a mistake, one that I don’t hate because I needed to know, but I am sorry.” Richard: “You’re a piece of shit and I am so pissed and hurt but…” Jason: “Yeah…” Richard: “I love you and I don’t want to waste our time.” Jason: “Neither do I.” Richard: “Good.” Richard scoots over in his hospital bed and reaches for Jason to sit next to him. They sit there holding onto one another. No matter what Jason had ever said before, this is where he wanted to be. Christmas Eve New York City Justin was standing in the middle of the gallery that was showing his show for the final night. After tonight he would be living near his family once again. He wasn’t disappointed about leaving New York; it had served its purpose mainly the fact that he would become the biggest success and he was well on his way. Justin stood looking at all the people that filled the capacity of the Gallery. His whole family was there and for that Justin was grateful. Suddenly he feels the firm arms of Brian. He turns around and comes face-to-face with the man who stole his heart all those years ago. Brian: “Good Evening Mr. Taylor.” Justin: “So, what do you think?” Brian: “Fucking fabulous.” Justin laughs, Justin: “You sound like Emmett.” Brian: “Fuck You!” Justin smiles at him. Justin: “Later but first kiss me.” Brian: “Always.” Brian leans down to capture the lips of his one true love. He hadn’t heard anything from Jason but then again he was okay with that. Jason disappeared from his life 18 years ago and made room for something more important and something he couldn’t live without. Brian: “How long till we can leave?” Justin: “10 minutes.” Brian: “Good, I need to fuck you.” Justin: “Oh, like when don’t you.” Brian and Justin laugh a little. Justin: “Let me go say good bye.” Justin walks off to start to say his goodbyes and Brian can’t imagine him and Justin not being together and he won’t have to. They may fight but to them, each other’s always worth fighting for. The End~