A/N : This is Brian`s POV, and timeline could be set in the "honeymoon period" aka second half of S3. :) Song lyrics come from Nine Inch Nails' special remix of a song called "Closer To God".
...you tear down all my reason
you see through what I hide
you make me perfect...
There are moments, when all you want to feel is hot lips tracing your skin, sweat dripping between your shoulder blades, nimble fingers burning into your hips in frustration and your name tumbling over silky lips. The times, when walking on the wild side of desire fogs your brain and leaves a metallic taste on your tongue. A breath stuck in your lungs, that is so filled with passion, it burns you inside out. Leaving you completely breathless and spent, before anything even happens.
Tonight was such a time.
After you fought tooth and nail to get through the insanity called traffic, passing by small, almost virginal family houses, that stood in a neat line along the street, your eyes found their ultimate goal. Imperceptible, yet such obvious choice for the very thing you wanted to do. Needed to do so badly.
When, after spending fifteen mind numbing minutes to find some space, you finally left your corvette in the endless row of bleak looking SUVs, that you are 100 % sure every average nuclear family owns, it was all instantly clear. You could feel it in your bones.
Sexily strutting your stuff in the face of every God-fearing, Bible-thumping, homophobic prick, that even dared to look your way at that moment, you entered the building, leaving the cover of a warm autumn night far behind you. As your eyes scanned the room of the nondescript bar, not bothering to file away any of the faces that meant absolutely nothing to you and never will, you felt the fire invading your veins. Your breath, anxious and excited at the same time, providing your brain with more than needed amounts of oxygen.
It made you so fucking alive. And waiting for the one you came here to see tonight.
All tables that were filled with half-drunk men, probably delaying their trip home as long as possible, did squat for you. You didn't even feel sorry for the fuckers. After all, they dug their own graves, more than likely, decades ago. All in the name of some demented "true love" fairytale. But knowing all you learned in the last three years, who were you to judge. You were probably confused and mistaken as much as they were. Of which you're made aware more and more, with every passing day.
Out of nowhere, your horizon shrunk, eyes falling on your target. Lightly caressing the soft line of strong shoulders, one of his arms casually leaning over the bar. Just the sight of him took your breath away. He is the one, that makes your heart beat harder. Your blood course through your veins a little faster. One person that makes you break all your silly rules and throw all your misguided decisions out the window. For him, you try to be a better man.
Slowly, you almost glide over to where he stands.
Luckily, his position at the bar is out of direct line of sight. And you do the one thing you wanted to do since you entered this place. You bury your face in the silky, sun-faded strands of hair and just inhale deeply, breathing him in. Your hand trailing the way down to the center of him. Cradling him, through his clothes, in the palm of your hand. His tiny whimpers are setting all your senses on fire, leaving your mouth dry and hungry for the taste of only him. And if an eternity had gone by, neither of you has noticed a thing. Both still safely cocooned away in the tangled web of sighs and whispers.
No real words have been uttered yet, no sane thoughts exchanged. Just two men sharing the same air, bodies screaming to be united. Hard and fast. Gentle and slow. Big contradictions in itself, but really, more similar than either would ever be willing to admit.
Your fingers tangled with his in an open invitation to the world both of you know better than anything. Because, together, you have read this scenario more than once, right down to the last letter. Enacted it numerous times. These lines are so well known, that voices are completely redundant and even vulgar, floating almost ugly in the air surrounding you. So, you say nothing at all. But the need for him gets louder and even more ruthless than before.
Obviously, you can't delay this anymore.
The second your bodies separate, even if it's only for the smallest amount of time, you feel it inside you. A screaming, loud pain rearing its ugly head, making your chest its home. Trying to divert your mind from it, you walk slowly to the bathroom. You know he is not far behind you. And he is all you can think about.
As you enter, you have only enough presence of mind to realise there is noone else in the room. Turning around, seemingly in slow motion, you pull the man closer, close enough to drown in his eyes and share his breath. The second your lips meet, fiery tongues fighting for dominance, you know you've been captured eons ago. There is no turning back. And you don't even mind.
You manoeuvre both of you into the first stall, locking the door behind you expertly. A heavy breathing, needy moans, both delicate and masculine at once... That is all that it's heard. He pulls your head closer, mashing your mouths together again. Losing all inhibitions, when your hand travels lower and you push his pants down. Milliseconds later, you're holding him, hard and wanting, in the palm of your hand. A smallest of sighs escapes his lips, making you lose your mind with such ease.
You know what he wants, what he fantasizes about. What you fantasize about sometimes.
You slide down his body, falling to your knees, as his fingers pull at your hair. Achingly slow, you trail tiny kisses down his abdomen, all the way to his navel. You tongue is burning its path down his skin, scorching and merciless, finally reaching the finish line and taking him into your mouth. His eyes are closed tightly, as his breath stumbles, sighs and whimpers falling over his lips. You almost fear you will come before you can even enter his body. It's all too much, too soon. And it has always been like this. Right from the very start.
You trace your tongue over his smooth porcelain skin, sucking and kissing, sliding your warm mouth up and down the length of his hard cock. By the reaction of his body, you know he is close. A few moments later and your mouth is full of hot and salty goodness. His moans bouncing of walls, the mind hazy and slow, leaving a content little smile on his pouty lips.
Carefully, you slide up his body, arousing all the right places, and take his lips. His tongue over yours, marking you relentlessly. Over and over again.
"Oh, God... Fuck me..."
You share another steamy kiss, as you turn him around, his face almost meeting the hard wall of the stall.
"Put your head on your hands, when you lean against the wall. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
You whisper it into his ear and although you don't actually see him smile, you can feel it, instantly warming you all over. It's these little things, that always make him happy.
"Come on!"
OK, so patience isn't his strong suit. Well, nobody has to tell you twice. Hands trembling, you take the lube and a condom from your pocket and clumsily unbutton your jeans, pushing the damn thing down over your hips, letting it drop to the floor. Impatiently, you drench your fingers with lube, warming it between your palms, as the first night together flashes through your mind. Few little circles around his hole, and you push fingers inside of him, coating his anal walls with the sleek liquid, preparing him as best as possible.
A couple calculated motions, and you feel him almost teetering over the edge, so you pull out slowly. Which, of course, leaves him frustrated and annoyed. And, strangely, makes you smile.
To know him like this.
Tearing the package, you slide the condom over your cock, the latex burning its way down, teasing you. And then, you are entering him finally, pushing slowly inside his body, giving him enough time to adjust to your size. Once you're all the way in, you know you don't want this to ever change. And if you have anything to do with it, you'll make damn sure to keep it that way. Because, never before has it been like this. Ever.
It's almost like you don't have a past at all, when it comes to him. As if he was your beginning. And will be your end.
The coming of a full circle, of sorts.
Feeling you loosing your focus a bit, and to bring your mind back to reality, his fingers palm the back of your thigh. He pulls you unbelievably closer to his back, making you bury yourself even deeper. And the sensation of it is so damn strong, you can hardly catch your breath. He isn't in any better state than you are. Gradually, you start to move. Inside and out.
In.
Out.
Pushing slowly in, your hips are pumping in a rhythm oh so known between lovers. His moans, loud and arousing as hell, are tearing down all the walls you so carefully built, making you open and new. But, leaving you almost too bare to the world. Too vulnerable. And entirely too sure, that you would fall apart if he ever went on his own merry way.
Fuck!
It's as if lower part of your body has a mind of its own...
You tease him a little at first, then bury yourself deeper and deeper each time you thrust. Sliding inside his ass with sweet possession in mind, as you leave a trail of small kisses on his shoulder. Your hand hungrily reaches down to his front to stroke him. The air that surrounds you is thick with lust and just when you think there is no way you will get alive through this, he is pushing heavily against your chest, convulsing in your arms, his inner muscles squeezing your cock deliciously. Leaving you empty and panting in a matter of seconds.
No, you are absolutely sure it was never before like this. And you kinda like that.
As desire clouds your brain for another moment, your nose buried in his neck, smelling of sugar and spice, of elements so connected to him, that you can't help but smile softly.
He is what you know. What you want to know.
"Christ, Brian... that was-..."
You hear amazement in his voice and it makes you inexplicably happy.
"Ah, sunshine, you know I always aim to please."
He turns his head and grins evilly.
"Oh, you definitely aimed at something."
Your answer to him is just a kiss. A kiss that lasts for long minutes, somehow making reality fade away into nothingness, leaving you two behind. On your own.
Lightly you pull out of him, throwing the used condom in the trash. In a fluent motion, you pull first his pants up, turning him around, then your own.
"Lets go, hot stuff."
You simply smirk and stick your tongue out at him at his words. Which he greedily accepts, taking you inside his mouth. When you grab his ass, he laughs in your mouth. Cheeky bastard...
"You are the worst tease, Justin Taylor. The worst." You shake your head at him, when he winks at you.
You unlock the stall slowly and dart your eyes around, to see if the coast is clear. Realising it's a fucking miracle, that noone caught you. Blindly, you reach behind and he automatically slides his warm hand in yours. And with such certainty, you feel the need to just kiss him senseless, before you pull him out of here. Steadily, without attracting even one glance in your general direction, with half of the bar dead drunk, the two of you walk out in the street.
Still high on adrenaline, you pull him toward the car, and lean him against it with a kiss. A kiss so soft on his lips, it leaves him with a distinct hunger for a lot more. Maybe little too much for two men alone, on this kind of street, at two in the morning. But it was worth it. Like it always is.
"So, sunshine... You liked our little walk on the wild side?" You ask, although you already know the answer to your question. He nodes and just laughs sweetly.
And nothing else matters, because when he laughs, you know you have done something good and true. And that is all you'll ever need to know.