Dancing 'Till Dawn Part 1 “Look bitch” the sound of his hand hitting her face echoed in the large marble floored foyer. She crumpled to the floor sobbing. Neither of them noticed the door at the top of the stairs slowly closing. “Leave me alone, I won’t tell her, I promise I won’t tell her.” The heart break was evident in her voice. “I told you to get rid of it. I gave you the money.” He screamed at her “What part of that didn’t you understand?” His voice became deadly calm. “You had your chance. I’m not taking the risk of you blabbing or some fucking kid turning up fifteen years from now.” Her screams began again in earnest. The sound of the silenced gun as it fired didn’t even register only the sudden abrupt end of her voice spoke in the emptiness of the large house. A pair of green eyes looked out through the crack formed by the open door. He could see Marie sprawled on the marble floor, such a small amount of blood, her open eyes staring in horror at the ceiling, her small frame still in the lamplight, her life over and that of her child when only that morning she’d been smiling and telling him her plans. He looked out further. His step father was standing over the dead housekeeper, a gun in his hand. He backed slowly up into the dark room, hoping that the man didn’t remember that he was home. He was terrified; his mother was in the States. Her film wouldn’t be done for at least another week. What was he going to do? He couldn’t let Poppa find him. He’d kill him for sure and no one was going to believe that the Finance Minister of France had murdered in cold blood his mistress and his unborn child. His mother would believe him, she would help him. But what if Poppa hurt her, would he do that to his mother? He heard footsteps climbing the stairs, moving with slow precision from one to the next. Pausing and waiting, listening for sounds from his room. Poppa was coming. He was looking for him. He moved with a speed born from terror stepping through the patio doors onto the balcony. He didn’t look back to see if the door had opened. But instead reached for the heavy ivy vines climbing up the side of the house, swung his legs over the side and scrambled down. He huddled at the bottom, hidden from view by a large oleander bush. The light in his room flashed on, spreading out onto the balcony and spilling over to the lawn, he waited, holding his breath while the heavy footsteps moved across his room. The outline of someone standing on his balcony and looking over appeared as a shadow on the lawn. “Louis, Louis, are you out there?” his step father’s voice called to him. He wouldn’t answer. He couldn’t answer. His voice stuck in his throat. If he kept quiet he’d be alright. He’d wait for his mother. But where would he be safe? Poppa would find him before the week was out if he hid in the house or with his friends. He made his way down the long driveway, stumbling in the dark once in awhile. He ended up on the dark Paris street, no coat, knees scraped, panting with terror. He turned and ran. He ran until he could no longer see the street where he’d lived for the past sixteen years. He was trying to out run the demon from hell his step father had become. He ran for his life and for the life of his mother. The streets became darker, unfamiliar. The residential area had turned industrial. Empty warehouses, windows boarded shut loomed over his head. He huddled in a doorway, only his panting breath making any sound in the still of the night. He was cold and he was scared. Fear was something he’d known for awhile now. His step father wasn’t the most pleasant man to be around and his mother traveled a great deal. Having his one and only son, even a step son, be queer. Have him be sixteen and look twelve. This wasn’t the public look that his step father was going for. He had the bruises to prove it. He pulled himself into a ball, making his body as small as possible. His eyes remained glued to the street, looking to see if he’d been followed. Finally exhaustion won and his eyes slowly closed as his mind retreated into welcome black oblivion. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin lay in the large canopied bed, his head on Brian’s chest. “Did you know he’d commit suicide?” he looked up into the hazel eyes. “I mean he did all those bad things, even killed that poor kid and what he did to the others, well it was just sick. But to actually kill himself…..” Justin’s voice trailed off. “I don’t even want to think how a guy like that’s mind works. I’m only sorry that Mattieu had to be involved. He’s a good guy. It’ll be a long time before he trusts another man.” “I guess the only decent thing he did was write out that confession letter. It kind of tied up some lose ends. Even finding out that he did stuff to Nicki, which was pretty unspeakable, but it should allow Nicki to get past it with therapy.” Brian pulled Justin up turning him so that they lay face to face. “Enough about Alex and the rest of the world tonight is about you and me. It’s about the fact that the boys are safe in Rainbow House, Emmett is having the time of his life with Marcel, Gus is happy and Stephen, well Stephen is Stephen, what can I say.” He paused and kissed Justin on the nose. Our entire little world is running along smoothly at least for the next couple of hours. So it’s you and me baby, all alone, no phones, no visitors. “Promise?” “Promise,” Brian looked into the blue eyes, the blue eyes that only reflected trust and love now and he realized that for some time he’d been content with his life. For some time now he’d been happy. He couldn’t remember a time when he had felt this much at peace with himself. It was an amazing feeling and he owed it all to the one night stand that wouldn’t leave. “Thank you” he said, his voice husky with emotion.” He leaned it for a kiss, a gentle kiss that spoke to Justin of promises made in the past and promises of the future. Justin knew what Brian meant and he knew that it took a lot for Brian to be open with him like he had been since they had met again. “I love you Brian, always have and always will, so anything I’ve done, well it’s been easy, the way I feel about you.” This time it was Justin who initiated the kiss. This time the two of them let their passion for each other take over. Words weren’t necessary to show how they felt for one another when they had lips to kiss with, tongues to taste the soapy sweetness of their freshly washed skin. When their finger tips could read the contours of their bodies. The evening hours turned into night and the only sounds in the apartment apart from the soft music playing in living room, were the cries of passion, the groans of satisfaction and the shouting of names called in moments of release. Brian held Justin’s warm body close to his. Enjoying the sound of the gentle snoring and the feel of Justin’s arm over his chest and his legs tangled with his longer ones. Since the morning when Alex and been found dead in the guest room of the apartment across the foyer from theirs, their lives had been full of pain, sorrow and regrets as they shared with first the police and then with Sebastian and Jennifer the events of their adventures. Only the fact that they were together, that they had each other for support, made life bearable for the two of them, as the story unwound and the details of all that Alex had done became more clear. Mattieu still hadn’t reopened the gallery and even Stephen and Emmett who had taken on the job of answering the phones and meeting the press and others who stopped by, even the two of them were subdued. Brian, his hand absently stoking the back and shoulder of his sleeping beauty stared into the darkness. He looked at the window, the gauzy curtains hiding the star lit sky and he realized that a small young man was slowly appearing. It was Zip. “Hey” he whispered. “We got him.” For the first time, Brian saw the young man smile and realized also that for the first time, there were no bruises, no blood. “Thank you Brian Kinney” he said. “What, I’m not Remington Steele anymore?” Brian teased. “You don’t need to be anyone other than yourself. You’re pretty special just the way you are. I wanted to say thank you” “Can you tell me your name?” “It doesn’t matter Brian” he paused “Does it?” “Yes it does, I know why you called yourself Zip, it was because you felt you meant nothing, you meant zip. But that isn’t true; you were responsible for Alex to be found. It was you that made it so other boys will be safe. You are important Sonny Boy, you are important to me and who knows how many more. I’d like to tell my son about you some day. I’d like him to know the boy who cared enough to stick around and save others before he went on.” “Aubrey James Lerouix” “Well Aubrey James Lerouix, you won’t ever be forgotten, I’ll see to that. Your life meant something.” And like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland, Aubrey James Lerouix slowly faded from Brian’s sight, his beaming smile the last to go. “Brian” Justin enquired sleep evident in his voice. “Are you talking to someone?” “Not now Baby, go back to sleep, I’ll tell you all about it another time” he kissed the soft blonde hair, and marveled at how fast Justin could return to sleep with only a wiggle to get closer and a soft sighed ‘I love you” as he drifted back. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian had made coffee and was sitting at the kitchen table reading when Justin walked in. He lifted his face for a morning kiss. Not satisfied with the brief tooth pasty kiss, he let his long arms wrap around Justin’s waist before he could walk away and pulled him onto his lap. “Us kept ‘boys’ expect a little more action than that from out ‘sugar daddy’s’” Brian grinned at him. Justin laughed; he loved to see Brian so relaxed. “Is this better, and you are no damn ‘boy’ old man.” His lips crushed Brian’s, his tongue seeking in the warm coffee flavored mouth of the man he loved. “I think the president has been set and ‘boy’ is the word. Actual age doesn’t count.” Brian countered letting his long fingers rub the front of Justin’s trousers stroking through the cloth the rapidly stiffening cock. “You are so bad Brian Kinney, you know I have to get to the campus in half an hour.” He leaned his head on Brian’s shoulder, reluctant to leave the protective embrace. “You know I can’t resist your kisses.” Brian unceremoniously dumped Justin on his feet and slapped his ass, sending him in the direction of the freshly poured cut of coffee waiting for him on the counter. “Just testing, wanted to see if I still had it.” He teased and looked pointedly at Justin’s crotch. “I still have it.” “You behave its French tradition for us ‘rich’ guys to take a mistress in addition to our main squeeze. If it’s a slow morning at school, I just might start auditioning.” “Don’t even joke about it Sonny Boy. You are ALL mine and don’t you forget it.” He was serious “I don’t share my toys anymore.” Justin’s heart filled with happiness. “I’m glad Brian” he kissed him on the forehead “I’m glad.” His sunshine smile filled the room as he walked out the door to heading to the school. It was almost ten o’clock before Brian made it down to the foyer; he looked over at the reception desk and saw that Marcel was manning it for some reason. “Hey Marcel, the reporters still at it?” he inquired. “Not so much now, Mr. Kinney.” Marcel said. “Stephen is showing Emmett something at TeeKay Design; I said I’d look after the front.” “How’s Sebastian doing? I know you two are close.” “Not too good right now, but he has Jennifer and the kids. I think he blames himself for not recognizing that Alex had a screw loose.” “It’s not always easy to tell Marcel. That’s how these guys get away with it.” “I know that Mr. Kinney, but Sebastian always thought he was close to his brother and now he finds this out about him. It’s a hard thing to deal with. And then there’s Mattieu, he hasn’t come down to the Gallery since that first day. I try to talk to him and Chef brings him meals, but he won’t talk and he won’t eat.” “I’ll go there now and see if I can talk to him. Keep an eye on our two nelly boys. I don’t want any more cat fights during office hours.” “Don’t worry Mr. Kinney, I’m watching them. I think they might even be getting along a bit better since the last case closed.” “Uh, Marcel, there was no case, we aren’t a detective agency, we are a design studio.” “What ever you say Mr. Kinney,” Marcel smiled to himself. He’d made an appointment for the Finance Minister of France to see Remington Steele at two that afternoon. It must have something to do with the murder at his home. He was pretty sure that M. L’Heureaux didn’t want to have something designed for him all of a sudden. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It was one thirty in the afternoon; Brian had talked with Mattieu for almost two hours. He’d managed to get him to eat something then showered and dressed. He was going to ask Justin to talk to him later this evening. Justin was always so positive in his outlook that he would be good for the sorrowing man. He was going over the latest orders and doing a first proof of the designs that Justin’s apprentices had submitted. He wrote his ideas in pencil on the edge of each page then put them aside for Justin’s input. His blonde lover should be back by four. He was about to go find some coffee when Stephen popped his head in the door. “Your two o’clock appointment is here now Mr. Steele.” “What the fuck are you talking about and I told you not to call me that? You and Emmett have enough delusions without me adding another.” Brian growled. “Your two o’clock appointment, Mr. Steele” hissed Stephen with a shade more force than necessary. “M. L’Heureaux, the Finance Minister is here.” “Well tell him to go away, I don’t have a two o’clock appointment and my name is Mr. Kinney.” Brian hissed right back. All of a sudden the door swung the open the rest of the way. Stephen almost fell into the room his balance unsteady on the platform heels he was wearing. Brian had to admire his nerve. Today he had on a black lycra mini dress, thigh high stockings, white lipstick and massive amounts of eye makeup. “Twiggy in the sixty’s in mourning” thought Brian as he watched the long ball earrings swing back and forth like miniature wrecking balls. A tall distinguished looking gentleman made his way to Brian’s desk. He held out his hand as he said “M. L’Heureaux and you must be M. Steele.” He paused while he shook Brian’s hand. “M. de Cervens is a mutual friend. He suggested I contact you regarding my little problem.” “M. de Cervens did – did he?” Brian looked grim. Now what? “You might have noticed, the press and all, well there was a problem at my home a couple of weeks ago.” He paused, looking at Brian for acknowledgement. “I don’t read the papers. Not here in France anyway,” Brian said. “My partner and I have been busy lately, family business.” “I’m sorry to hear that Mr. Steele. My problem has taken up my time as well, so I understand.” He watched for Brian’s reaction. “There was a murder at my home. A young woman, our housekeeper was murdered. That same night, my young step son disappeared. I’m afraid he might have witnessed the murder.” “Did you go to the police? That’s what they’re there for.” “I have reported the boy missing, yes. His mother, she’s distraught, they are very close.” “You’ve checked all his friends and close relatives?” “Of course, but he has few friends. He thinks he is gay. I blame his mother for that she’s in the theatre you know. She’s always bringing home these friends of hers, these homosexuals that gravitate to the theatre and the arts. There is nothing wrong with the boy that a few years in a good military school won’t cure. She should have friends around like your young receptionist, beautiful woman that one. Louis could learn a thing or two from a woman like that one.” “Riiiight I’m sure he could, well keep your slimy hands off my receptionist. I wouldn’t want her to hurt you.” Brian stood up all six feet four inches of him. He walked around his desk and had the satisfaction of looking down at the short man standing in his office. “I don’t know why M. de Cervens thought I could help you. Because quite frankly I think you’re a homophobic asshole and I wouldn’t let you lick the sweat off my ass.” He opened his office door. Stephen was standing with Emmett inches away. “I’ll let my receptionist and my assistant show you the door. Don’t come back.” M. L’Heureaux began to bluster when Emmett grabbed one arm and Stephen the other and started to frog march the man out the door and then out into the foyer. The last thing Brian heard as the door swung shut was “Now dearie, you mustn’t get Mr. Steele angry. He has a very low anger threshold and he never did take well to bigots.” The two tall men opened the outside door depositing him on the large front porch unmindful of the liveried chauffer waiting patiently beside a long black limo. “Y’all don’t come back now” shouted Emmett as he wiggled his fingers in a wave” He turned to Stephen. “Can you imagine having that jerk for a step father? He sounds worse than that bitch stepmother in Cinderella.” The two queens stood on the front porch both with their hands on their hips a look of smug satisfaction on their lips as the long black car drove away. The each lifted their hands in a perfectly choreographed move and waved bye bye. “Stephen, Emmett, my office – now” Brian barked. The two of them could hear him through three closed doors. They looked at each other and grinned. “Wow he sure can make himself heard” Stephen said impressed. “It’s from years of talking at Babylon, a club we used to go to back home.” They both swished back into the building, Emmett stopped at the main reception desk only long enough to give Marcel a quick kiss then followed Stephen into Brian’s office. Brian stood up and began to put his coat on. “I’m going to see M. de Cervens. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. There was a problem at M. de Assholes house a while back, probably in the last two weeks. I want you boys to find out about it and I mean everything. All the gossip and all the facts, I’ll decide later what’s important.” He was almost out the door when “Is this another case” Stephen could hardly contain his glee. “It appears so” Brian looked at the two of them. Both were grinning ear to ear. “I don’t want word of our enquiries to get back to anyone” the name ‘Justin’ was unspoken but the Kinney stare reached them bother loud and clear. “Mums the word Brian” Emmett said his finger making a closed zipper motion across his lips. Brian looked at both of the again, he was going to say something else but decided against it, he shook his head and left. Emmett and Stephen turned to give each other high fives. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Curiosity killed the cat Hope you remember that Justin stared at the words that played across his computer screen along with a series of gruesome pictures of dead cats. “What the fuck is this all about?” he wondered. He turned the computer off and rebooted it. This time his usual wallpaper played across the screen. “It must have been some kind of a web glitch or something” he thought. What ever it was, it was gone now. He checked his email and answered the ones that required it. He sent off a picture he’d done of Brian sitting in the park watching the ducks to Gus. He wrote to his mother and to Sebastian as chatty and upbeat as he could his mother had told him that Sebastian was still not able to accept what his brother had done. The apartment always seemed so empty without Brian in it. It was funny he’d never noticed anything different about the place until the day he’d shown it to Brian. The colors came alive and the place seemed to take on another life. Brian Kinney magic was what it was. The tall handsome Irishman had that effect on everything he touched. There was a knock at the door. Justin went over and opened it without asking who was there. Something that Brian had told him never to do. “Hey Mattieu” Justin said to the broken man standing at his door. “Come in” Mattieu walked in, gone was the dapper Frenchman, his clothes impeccable, his bearing regal. The man who walked in the door had somehow shrunk inside his clothes, his eyes were filled with grief and his shoulders slumped. “thanks Justin, hope I’m not intruding.” He looked around unsure of what he was to do. Justin walked into the kitchen and he followed. “Sit down Mattieu, I’ll get you a coffee.” Mattieu sat at the table, his hands on his lap staring vacantly at the wall. He startled when Justin sat the coffee mug down in front of him. He looked too thin; Justin was used to feeding thin men who never realized they needed food to survive. While he chatted about his day at the school, about Stephen and Emmett he quickly made a plate of thinly sliced sandwiches adding a few pieces of apple and cheese to the patter. He put it in front of Mattieu who began to eat automatically. Justin refilled his coffee cup and replaced the empty sandwich plate with one filled with slices of cake. Again Mattieu ate. Justin was pleased with the results when Mattieu looked up at him with some color in his pale cheeks. “How did you know I needed to eat?” Mattieu wondered. “It’s the nurturing part of me. I see a thin man and I want to feed him.” “Brian is lucky” “Make sure you let him know that, I think he forgets occasionally.” “I’m not a bad man Justin.” “I know you aren’t Mattieu” “I really didn’t know what Alex was doing.” “There was no question of that Mattieu. I know that, Brian knows that and so does Sebastian and everyone else who is your friend.” “I killed him. I did and now I can’t forgive myself.” “You didn’t kill him. He did it himself.” “I took those pills and told him that I knew everything then told him how much of them it would take to wipe his perverted face of this earth.” He looked at Justin, his eyes filled with tears. “I told him and then I went to bed in our room, in our bed. I was so angry with him. I felt used and betrayed. What if he’d hurt Guy or Jon that’s all I could think of. I was glad they were in the States with their father. But when they came back, they would be at his mercy.” “We all have been granted free will Mattieu. It was his choice to do what he did.” “He killed Lilly, she was black mailing him. Our business account is almost wiped out not to mention our personal account. He paid her everything we had. I always trusted him with things like the finances. What a mess, I’m such a fool.” “Do you want to continue the Le Gallerie Mattieu?” Justin asked. “I don’t know if I can Justin. It isn’t only the lack of money that might shut me down, it’s the scandal.” “Do you want some advice from a kid?” “You aren’t a kid Justin. I think of you as a friend, the younger brother I never had.” “Ok then I say we go with the one of the famous Brian Kinney queer rules. Rule number twelve ‘If the straight world doesn’t like what we do – then fuck em” He grinned at Mattieu. “So tomorrow you go back down to Le Gallerie and open up shop. Get someone good in to go over the books and when you find out what kind of money you need I’ll make you a loan.” “Regular payments and interest rates” Mattieu said his eyes brightening. “Definitely” Justin beamed remembering similar words. “A man has to know when to ask for help.” Mattieu was leaving when Brian opened the door. Brian couldn’t believe the difference in him from earlier in the day. “Hey Mattieu” he said. “Brian, your Justin is the most wonderful young man. You are very lucky, I envy you.” He kissed Brian on both cheeks, grinned at Justin and walked jauntily out the door toward his own apartment. Not quite the man he’d been before the tragedy, but close. “What was that all about Sunshine?” Brian asked “It’s a mystery.” Justin said and he put his arms around Brian holding him close his head on Brian’s chest. Letting his heart beat sing to him of the love they shared. Brian allowed Justin’s words to satisfy him for now. He knew they meant that Justin was up to something. But he trusted his blonde partner enough to let him have his little mystery. He’d tell him eventually. From the look of Mattieu when he left Justin had probably done something for him, he smiled to himself and leaned down to kiss Justin’s hair. “I do appreciate you Boy Wonder.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching a movie, his head on Brian’s lap. Brian reached for the control turning the movie off. He sat in the darkened room, his fingers combing through the soft blonde hair. He couldn’t get his meeting with M. de Cervens out of his mind. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Mr. Steele, so nice of you stop in and visit an old man.” M. de Cervens smiled up at Brian from his seat at the window. “Forgive me for not getting up, today is a day for sitting with these old bones.” Brian walked over and kissed the old man’s cheek. He handed Raymond the flowers that he had brought, removed his overcoat and sat down on the other chair. “M. de Cervens, you’re looking well.” He started. “I want to know why you sent that pompous asshole L’Heureaux to see me.” “You should learn the fine art of conversation Remington. You lead up to these questions not jump right in.” M. de Cervens teased. “I don’t have time for all that shit.” Brian stated. He nodded his thanks to Raymond when the manservant handed him a mug of coffee. “He seems to know you. I want to know what’s wrong with him, beside the fact that he’s homophobic.” “I’ve known of this man for a good many years. We have mutual friends. He’s not well liked but he is in a position of power and that in itself provides a certain kind of friend. He married the lovely Helene, almost fourteen years ago. She had a two year old son, Louis, named for his dead father. Helene is famous here in France for her work in the film industry, and a little bit so in the States.” He paused to take a drink of his coffee then looked at Brian again. “Louis is sixteen now, though he looks much younger. He has the kind of blonde good looks that will have people questioning his age for many years. I think you understand about that with your Sunshine. Louis is delicate, a gentle young man, very possibly gay, though he’s never said as much to me, and why would he.” “That must be pleasant for the kid living with that piece of shit.” Brian muttered. “No, not pleasant, but tolerable.” He stopped again weighing his words. “Almost two weeks ago Louis disappeared. I’ve had my men looking for him, but he’s vanished.” “I don’t have him.” “I know you don’t Remington. But I want him found.” “What and turn him over to his prick of a stepfather?” “That I can’t answer you; his stepfather is involved with a murder investigation. The housekeeper was murdered and the stepfather was found at the scene. His fingerprints are on the gun.” “Then why hasn’t he been arrested?” Brian enquired curious. “His finger prints were on the gun, but there was no gunshot residue on him. There is no proof that he fired the gun. The cook swears that he was the only one home other than Louis and we can’t find Louis.” “Did you ask his mother?” Brian asked the obvious. “Of course, but Helene is also not to be found. We know that she returned from America early to do some publicity shots. But both her and Louis are missing.” “Maybe she’s with the boy and they are lying low to avoid the publicity.” “I did think that at first, but I’m not so sure now. Something doesn’t feel right about this murder.” M. de Cervens seemed to look inside himself then continued. “The housekeeper who was murdered, she was carrying a child, M. L’Heureaux’s child. This is something that isn’t known yet to the public. And Louis, sometime when I would see him in the park returning from school, Louis would have bruises on his wrists.” He put his hand around one wrist to demonstrate “like this, like finger prints.” Brian was silent, he remembered another boy in another life wearing his sweater sleeves pulled down to hide the markings his father’s large hands had made as he was dragged to his room. He unconsciously rubbed his hand over his right wrist. “What do you think I can do about this?” Brian asked quietly. “Shit” he thought “I have to help this kid and M. de Cervens knows it.” “You have the trust of the young ones at Rainbow House. Together with them they will hear things on the street if Louis is hiding there.” His steely grey eyes looked at Brian. “Talk to them. Tell them he needs to be found for his own safety.” “It doesn’t sound to me like he’d be all that safe with M. Asshole.” “You find Louis; my men will deal with his safety from that point on.” M. de Cervens looked grim “Louis will be safe, you have my word, the word of a Legionnaire.”