Justin gasped when Brian’s lips engulfed his cock. It was always like this; every time was like the first. He hoped it never changed. This was the best part of reunion sex; the tummy tingling thrill that set his skin on fire at Brian’s touch.
“God I can’t get enough of you,” Brian gasped, moving his mouth down Justin’s cock. Sucking, licking, breathing deeply of the musky scent that was his lover. His fingers pulled lightly on his balls, rolling them back and forth in his hand. Suddenly he stopped and then felt again, only this time he’d taken his mouth off of Justin’s cock.
“Don’t stop,” Justin moaned.
“Put your fingers here, do you feel anything?” Brian directed Justin’s fingers to one of his testicles.
“I feel my balls,” Justin said mystified. “Now let’s see if you can go back to feeling them.”
“No, really feel that one.” Brian directed Justin’s fingers back.
“Oh, it has a bump on it. Can you get pimples on your balls?” Justin asked his finger’s busy.
“It’s a lump, we need to get it checked out,” Brian said with concern in his voice as he sat up.
“Well, we can’t do it now, so let’s just go back to what we were doing.” Justin, being young and feeling invincible, was horny and with one thing on his mind, and it wasn’t a lump on his balls.
“Justin, this is serious, or at least it could be.” Brian felt cold inside; terrified and cold. It couldn’t be possible. Justin was too young to have cancer. It had to be cyst or something. He had just completed a campaign for public awareness of testicular cancer, and his brain was filled with stats that made his blood run cold.
“If it’s serious, I’ll deal with it,” Justin said, his voice reasonable. “But right now something else is serious; my cock.” He got up on his knees and moved to where Brian was sitting on the end of the bed. He leaned over the older man’s back and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Look, it has to be nothing. The earliest we can see a doctor is in the morning, but for right now we need to live and love and laugh. It’s the only way I can deal with this shit.”
Brian turned and pulled Justin into his arms. His lover was right, nothing could be done until tomorrow. Tonight; Hell was just a possibility, tomorrow it could be reality. It was time to reconnect.
And so began an hour filled with soft and tender touches that turned urgent and demanding as each tried to climb right inside the other’s skin. There was desperation and there was love, but they needed this time together; this tiny bit of normalcy.
Afterward Brian lay on his back with his lover in his arms. “I’m going with you tomorrow,” he said and Justin knew there was no point in arguing.
“Thanks,” Justin murmured doing his best to keep his fear inside, and refusing to let it replace the mellow warmth he was feeling. “Don’t you have to go and wow your public?” he glanced over at the clock.
“The reception isn’t for another hour,” Brian said as he stroked Justin’s bare shoulder. “There are times when I wish we could forget about this secrecy and actually be an out and proud couple.”
“Oh my fucking gawd! You said the ‘C’ word,” Justin giggled.
“What can I say; post coital brain freeze,” Brian sighed. “Will you be here when I get home?”
“Yes dear,” Justin snuggled closer. “I’ll be here… hard and horny like all good little house husband.”
Brian snorted his laughter. “That’s why I love you,” he kissed the top of Justin head, not realizing what he’d just said.
But Justin heard it and he glowed all over. Once said the words were said, they couldn’t be taken back, but just in case, he didn’t dare draw Brian’s attention to them; preferring to savor them in silence.
Justin felt as if his body was mush. He allowed Brian to pull the duvet up to his chin and kiss him tenderly. “You look so handsome,” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Of course,” Brian snarked as he adjusted his tie.
“I’m going to call Daphne. Maybe she’ll come over and we can watch a movie.”
“Already called her. She’ll be over in half an hour, and she’s even bringing popcorn and a pound of butter.” He made a face. “Don’t get grease on the sofa.”
“You get lube on it.”
“No ‘you’ get lube on it,” Brian laughed “And that’s water soluble; it’s not grease.”
When Brian left the loft, Justin lay in bed for a few minutes then pulled himself together and took a shower. The lump felt even larger when he was wet and slippery with soap and he wondered if he was making things worse by touching it; perhaps he was irritating the thing and making it grow. With this in mind, he sat at Brian’s computer and began to research testicular cancer. By the time Daphne arrived, he was a mess.
“Geeze, what happened?” Daphne asked as she let herself into the loft. Brian had long since given her a key and the codes. “Is it Brian? Did something happen to him?”
Justin looked at her, shook his head and burst into tears, pointing at the computer monitor where the latest scare sight on testicular cancer could be seen.
Daphne looked at what he’d been reading and sat down abruptly on Justin’s lap. “Fuck, Brian is sick.”
“No, it’s me,” Justin squeaked. “Get off me you weigh a ton.”
“I do not weigh a ton. What do you mean it’s you? You aren’t old enough for this?” her finger hit the screen.
“Cancer knows no age,” Justin said with drama. “I’m going to die horribly and soon.”
Daphne leaned forward and began to do her own research, finding the John Hopkins medical site where she quickly read as much as she could with Justin mumbling and crying behind her. “It says here that early detection is good, and that if they remove the tumor and you have the treatment there’s a good chance you’ll recover fully.” She figured that there was no point in mentioning anything negative. He’d already read it and he needed to focus on the positive. “Hey can I feel it?”
“YOU ARE SOOO NOT TOUCHING MY BALLS,” Justin said in horror, jumping up off the chair and dumping Daphne on the floor.
“Purely for research purposes, I am pre-med you know.”
“Find someone else to do your research on; someone who wants you to touch their balls.” Justin stomped over to the sofa and threw himself down. “Brian isn’t going to ever want to touch me once I’m scarred for life. I probably won’t even be able to get it up again. It says impotence is a side effect of the treatment.”
“It says temporary,” Daphne reminded her friend. “Besides, you haven’t even seen a doctor, you don’t know what it is.”
“I know.”
“You don’t know shit! I’m making popcorn, find a movie. This sucks, but you have to deal with it.”
“Thanks for coming over Daphne. I can’t let Brian see how this is affecting me. I have to be strong for him. He’s not really Mr. Tough Guy you know; in fact he’s kind of mushy inside.”
“Justin, it’s scary. I mean cancer is supposed to happen to other people.”
“Yeah, sucks to be me.” He turned to her. “I wish I hadn’t come here this week.”
“No you don’t. If Brian didn’t find it, things could get a lot worse.”
“If it isn’t one thing it’s another. First my parents don’t want me and then I end up with this stupid hand.” He held his trembling hand up in front of Daphne. “And now I’m going to be a fucking eunuch. Maybe my parents will like me better if I can’t fuck anymore.”
“At least your drama princess part is still working,” Daphne snickered. She sat on the sofa and leaned into him, letting her friend wrap her in his arms. It was their favorite position for watching movies. “Eat some popcorn and shut up. We’ll deal with it tomorrow. You can be damn sure that with Brian in charge, you’ll only see the best.”
Justin closed his eyes, the better to concentrate on his friend in his arms. He breathed deeply. “I love your shampoo. I want some,” he sighed. “Brian will be tickled pink; he can organize and delegate and generally run my life through this.”
“Are you going to let him?” she asked.
“Hell yes! I’m soooo not going to deal with this on my own. I’m admit I’m a coward.”
“You are not. You’re just a nineteen year old kid who has to deal with something really fucking scary,” Daphne shivered. “Hey let’s find Brian’s stash.”
“You’re weird,” Justin laughed, but smoking a joint sounded like a good idea.
An hour later, both teens were high and eating the pizza Justin had ordered, when Brian opened his loft door to the smell of both. Daphne was a good friend he decided, to both of them. “Hey, I hope you two saved some of that for me,” he said and shrugged out of his jacket.
“BRIAN!” they both shouted happily. “How cool, you came home.” Daphne waved the joint she held in the air. “You have some good stuff.”
“Yes, I do little girl and someone is going to get spanked for showing you where I kept it.”
“Promise?” Justin asked wiggling suggestively.
“Ewwwwe,” Daphne groaned. “Would you guys stop it.”
“Sorry Princess,” Brian said before he headed for the bedroom to change his clothes. “What are we watching?”
“Some old movie with James Dean,” Daphne answered.
“Brian, why are you here? Don’t you have a grand opening to be grand about?” Justin asked.
“I have a silent alarm on my stash, and when it went off, I figured I’d better get back and make sure you two didn’t over indulge.” He returned from the bedroom wearing a comfortable pair of sweats and a well-washed white T-shirt. “We have an appointment tomorrow at nine Sunshine, so don’t overindulge tonight.”
“We do? Christ you work fast.” Justin poked Daphne and mouthed, I told you so . Daphne grinned at him and winked at Brian. Who shook his head and grabbed a cold beer from the refrigerator.
The three of them settled down to watch the movie; Brian in the corner of the sofa, Justin between his legs and leaning back and Daphne at the other end, her feet in Justin’s lap so he could massage them. She maintained that it was good exercise for this gimp hand.
The phone rang a few times, but they let it go to voice mail. No one wanted to bother with whatever drama was unfolding. There was enough going on where they were.
A week later Justin found himself in a hospital room, doped up and ready to be wheeled into surgery. Between Brian and Ricky Nester, he had the best doctors that could found looking after him. He’d discovered a number of interesting things during the week, the fact that he was fully insured under Brian’s group policy. Something that Ted had put in place to carry on after Brian left Vanguard. The second thing he’d discovered was that Brian was indeed Rage the superhero of his dreams. From the first visit to this hospital room, he had not only operated Kinnetik flawlessly by signing two new contracts, but he attended each doctor’s visit including the one counseling session that the hospital had insisted upon. He’d fielded Ruby and Reggie in their attempts to make him feel better and calmed LV who had a sudden attack of Justin fever which made him want to be with him constantly. Justin wasn’t sure when the man slept.
“They shaved me,” Justin mumbled to Brian who held his hand.
“Kinky.”
“It feels funny.”
“Let me see.” Brian peeked under the blue sheet that covered Justin. “If you wanted to keep the prepubescent look, I’d suggest that should be a no. It’s definitely too young for me.”
“I’m glad. I was worried,” Justin joked.
“Mind you, if Ted’s site was still up and running, you might make some good money.”
“Ewwwee,.” Justin wrinkled his nose. “Keep him away from me.”
“Have no fear JT, Rage will keep all the evil accountants at bay.” Brian kissed his lover on the forehead. “It’s time to go. I’ll be here when you get back.”
In Pittsburgh,Michael called Kinnetik for the tenth time that day. “Well if you aren’t going to put me through to him, will you at least tell him I called. It’s about tonight.”
“I’m sorry Michael, but Brian has gone to Ibiza for a short vacation. We don’t really expect him back for at least a week,” Cynthia smirked to herself. It was a spur of the moment excuse; she knew Brian was with Justin at Johns Hopkins, but it was an excuse that would surely piss off Michael.
She held the phone from her ear when he exploded as she expected,. “IBIZA, WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT GUS?”
“Should Gus need his father, Brian will be contacted; but only if it’s an emergency. And Michael, Brian was very specific about what kind of emergency, so don’t get any ideas.”
“Did he go alone?”
“I don’t discuss Brian’s travel plans with anyone
“Fine then,” Michael said and hung up. He turned to Ben and Hunter who sat across from him at the diner. “He’s gone to Ibiza.”
“We heard and oddly enough we don’t care,” Ben commented and went back to reading the paper.
“I care; I would have gone with him and been his towel boy,” Hunter smirked.
Four weeks later Brian found himself checking airline schedules again. Justin had insisted on heading back to L.A. from Johns Hopkins despite everyone’s advice. He’d arranged to have his treatments there. But it had been three weeks and other then the odd short phone call, Brian hadn’t heard from him at all. Even Daphne had been cut off from her friend. He let his finger trace the outline of Justin in the picture on his desk. It was from the calendar shoot and Brian loved the whole suggestiveness of the thing. Cynthia had gone out and bought her own calendar when she’d discovered it was Justin and had it displayed in her office; not caring what anyone who wandered in said.
“Reggie, I think I should come.” Brian was talking to his in-house spy while he surfed for flights.
“Brian he isn’t at his best right now. He has two more treatments and then if things work out, he’ll be ready to see you.”
“I don’t care if he isn’t up to fucking if that’s what you mean. I just want to see for myself that he’s alive and well. Fucking ten second phone calls don’t tell me shit and he won’t answer any emails.”
“He doesn’t have the strength to sit at the computer right now. He’s frail; you have to understand and stay away.”
“Reggie, I need to see him,” Brian begged. “It’s driving me crazy.”
“Brisie, I know it’s driving you crazy, the dozen phone calls a day tell me that. I’ve seriously thought about blocking all your numbers. Daddy is going to send him to a place in Switzerland to build up his strength after the last blast of radiation. It’s famous, all the movie stars go there. He’ll come back as good as new and then he’ll feel like seeing you.”
“Is it because he’s sick after the treatments?” Brian asked for the hundredth time.
“I’ve told you no. He doesn’t get sick. He just feels like shit, has no appetite and no energy. His body is doing everything it can to fight this thing.”
Brian sighed, “I’ll stay away but honest to God, Reggie if he’s in trouble and you aren’t telling me, there’ll be hell to pay.”
“I know that Brisie. Don’t worry, he’s important to all of us. We may not love him the way you do, but we love him like a favorite brother. Even daddy loves him. He says he thinks of him as a son. So between everyone, he is getting the best of care.” She wanted to tell Brian to stop sending things to the apartment, but instead it seemed like every day something arrived for Justin. If it wasn’t books, it was potted green plants, or video games, or DVD’s of obscure movies; even a cell from the old Yellow Submarine movie. The place was big, but if he sent one more damn big leafy plant she’d scream. She knew that sending these things was the only way Brian had of touching the man he loved. It was actually kind of cute in a bizarre sort of way.
“I’m sorry Reggie,” Brian sighed. “I know you, your sister, and LV are doing your best for him, and I know that you’re only telling me what he wants you to say. But I want him to know that I care about him. I don’t want him to think that because of the damn cancer that my feelings about him are any different.”
“Fuck! You men and your dicks and balls, you let them rule your lives,” she snickered. “In case you were wondering, he still can’t get it up and it’s like a major queen out every morning when he wakes up without his morning woody.”
“I’d think you’d understand; after all, don’t you wish you had a dick?” Brian snarked.
“Don’t be a bitch Brisie. It’s only temporary, that’s what the doctor says, but you’d think his dick had fallen off if you had to listen to him every morning. LV isn’t helping matters any either; he’s all but taking pictures of his morning wood to give Justy inspiration. I don’t think I’m ever going to understand men.” She was laying on the sofa staring at the larger than life acrylic Justin had done weeks ago. It was something she did often, losing herself in the colors and motion of the piece. It had all of Justin’s feelings for Brian laid out for the world to see, if you wanted to stare at it long enough. It made her feel happy and sad at the same time, but filled with love and longing, so it had become her favorite place to lose herself.
“Good-bye Reggie.” Brian needed to stop talking so that he could analyze what she’d said. He turned to his computer and began to research side effects of radiation therapy on testicular cancer. Reggie may not think impotence was a problem, but Brian certainly understood Justin’s concern. And yes, it was a guy thing.
Brian and Reggie spoke for a few more minutes before disconnecting. “Is he still upset with me?” Justin asked. He’d come into the room part way through the conversation. Does he think I’m a freak ‘cause I can’t get it up anymore?” He lay on the floor, his head on a throw pillow and stared at the painting. He found it comforting and if there’d been even a little bit of wall space in his room, he’d have moved it in there.
“No, he doesn’t think you’re a freak and you know it’s only temporary.” Reggie handed Justin the phone. “Call him. What can it hurt?”
“Not yet. I don’t have the energy to deal with him,” he sighed. “I love this painting; it’s like Brian is in the room with us, but without the talking.”
Reggie laughed, “He sure does a lot of that.”
“Did you tell him to stop with the plants?”
“I can’t do that,” Reggie sighed. “I think I’m beginning to like living in a jungle.”
“He’s kind of cute; remembering about my allergies and things,” Justin said with a dramatic sigh. “I finalized a contract for another website design today and gave Alan a bonus. He’s brought in four clients this month.”
“I thought you were sleeping,” Reggie said looking at him.
“No, I’m sick of sleeping. Only a couple more zaps with the ray gun and I’ll either be cured or not,” Justin sighed. “And I never thought I’d say it, but I’m sick of smoking dope.” He’d been smoking after each treatment to counteract the nausea. It took all the fun out of it, having to smoke the noxious weed.
“I’m sick of you smoking dope too, so we’re even.” She pointed to the top left of the painting. “Whenever I look at that spot I’m sure I can see Brian’s lips.”
“Interesting,” Justin snickered. “I see his dick.”
“You always see his dick.”
“No, what I mean is that I really, really, see his dick. It’s like it’s right there; the curve of it, the veins, the way the head turns purple, the tiny scar at the tip where he caught it in his zipper when he was thirteen.”
“Hey, that’s cool. Is it a big scar?” Reggie looked at the corner of the picture with interest sure she could see the scar.
“I said tiny scar. What part of that did you manage to translate into big?” Justin glared. “It’s actually what makes his cock beautiful. You know, like a beautiful woman with a small imperfection that emphasizes the whole beauty thing.”
“Doesn’t this seem just a tad bizarre, you two discussing the merits of Brian’s cock?” LV entered the room with a plate of cookies he had just baked. “Try these, I think they’re perfect this time.”
“I’m not hungry,” Justin said doing his best to ignore the sweet chocolate smell that filled the room. His stomach roiled and he wondered if he should have stayed in his room.
“I’ll have one.” Ruby bounced into the room and snagged one from the plate. “Do we have milk?”
“We always do,” LV laughed. “I’ll get you a glass.”
“Hey LV, you’re going to have to remind Daphne of the time difference. This morning she called at four.”
“She was thinking of me before class. I can’t help it if I’m the love bug.”
“Oh puleeeeze,” Justin said and rolled his eyes. “It’s hard enough to control my nausea.”
“When are you going back to Pittsburgh; inquiring minds want to know?” LV asked.
“I don’t know. My schedule is a killer for the next few months. I’m finishing up my second year and starting my third, and I don’t have time for running back east. Besides, you don’t need me to go. You can visit Daphne yourself.”
“I know,” LV grinned. “But Daphne is as bad as you. She’s doing her premed at warp speed. Can’t the two of you do anything normal?”
“Nope,” Justin grinned. “We’ve been overachievers and competing against each other since kindergarten. She’s already pissed that I make more money than she does, and that I found someone to love before she did.”
“Life isn’t a game Justy,” Reggie reminded as she tossed half a cookie at him.
“Well it is to me.” He shut his eyes and ate the piece of cookie. “Not bad LV,” he said when he finished. “I may not even puke.”
“Good.” LV headed back to the kitchen. “I’m going to Ottawa for the next three months. I was accepted into a cooking school there that has amazing teaching chefs.”
“Ottawa?” Ruby asked.
“Canada.” LV turned around like a model. “Do I look Canadian, eh?”
“Not a chance,” Justin laughed.
“I’m going with him,” Ruby said. “I’m going to be his girl Friday.”
“Daddy will never let you go,” Reggie snorted.
“Yes he will. He has a movie filming in Toronto and that’s not far from Ottawa. He said LV can visit us.”
“I have to live in a residence while I’m there. The hours are long and I do mean long and in our spare time we do catering for various high-end hotels. I won’t be doing any visiting in Toronto.”
“We’ll come and visit you then. But I think I could be a real big help to you if you let me stay with you.”
“No way. Daphne would freak.”
“I’m a dyke, what does it matter if I stay with you?”
“You could be secretly in love with me,” LV snickered. “You might want my big, black assets.”
“Would you guys stop it? Laughing hurts and make me want to puke,” Justin snickered. “I’ll call Brian tomorrow if you all promise to stop.”
Ruby, Reggie and LV exchanged high fives and cheered. Justin rolled his eyes and then shut them again to make the room stop moving.
“Hey,” Justin said when Brian answered the next day.
“You okay?” Brian asked.
“I’ll be okay.”
“Two more treatments.”
“Who’s counting?” Justin tried to joke.
“I want to come and see you. I know you’ll be too busy with school to come here.”
“Please don’t Brian; not now. I just can’t deal with you right now.”
“Deal with me? You have to deal with me?” Brian’s voice spoke more than words, the hurt he felt showed through.
“I’m sorry Brian, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It’s just that right now, things aren’t really right with me. If you’re here it’ll only be worse. I don’t want to have to deal with it right now.”
“I know about the impotence,” Brian’s voice was soft. “I also know that it’s not unusual considering what you’ve been through. You need time, that’s all, just time.”
“That’s what they say,” Justin sighed. “Remind me to smack Daphne.”
“Don’t blame Daphne.” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, his head ached and so did his heart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Daddy, more.” Gus looked at his father, love in his eyes. It was his third birthday and Brian had been playing a computer game with him.
“Not now Gus, I’m tired.” Brian sat on the floor resting his back against the sofa. Gus sat beside him a miniature version of his father.
“Tired too, daddy,” Gus yawned. “Want cake.” He got up and toddled to the counter where the remains of his birthday cake sat just out of reach.
“No more cake. You’ll never sleep,” Brian laughed and got up off of the floor. The boy’s third birthday party had been held at his house this year, and now everyone was gone leaving Gus to spend the rest of the weekend with his father.
“Call Justy,” Gus said as he handed his father the phone. Justin had become a mythical man, someone Brian often talked about to his son, but someone the boy had never seen. Brian had taken to telling Gus long and involved stories of what Justin was up to. It helped him to be able to talk to someone about the man he loved. It made his lover more real, because sometimes he seemed like a figment of his imagination because so rarely did they see each other.
“He’s still at the school,” he replied but took the offered phone. “Today he’s taking an exam.”
“On my birthday?” Gus shook his head. “Bad.”
Brian laughed. “I guess Justin’s teachers just didn’t schedule the exams right.”
Gus wasn’t sure what that meant, but he didn’t like that his father was always sad unless he had spoken to Justin recently. “Call Justy on little phone.” Gus pretended his hand was a flip open cell phone. “Little phone in Justy’s pocket.”
“We’ll call later when he’s finished school. I’ll tell you what, I’ll leave him a voice message. He can call us when he’s finished with his exam.”
Gus thought for a moment, “Okay.” He climbed up on the sofa and waited for Brian to call, his hazel eyes serious.
Brian tried to out wait his son, but he knew it was useless so he hit speed dial for Justin’s cell phone. He knew that the blond would have it turned off for the exam, so he just smiled and left the message.
“Brian you know I’m taking an exam. I told you I’d call later.”
Justin rarely used his cell phone for anyone other than Brian. “Hey Brat, Gus and I were just wondering when you’d be free. Seems the birthday boy wants to say hi to the one who is responsible for his name.”
“Say love you,” Gus said standing on the sofa so that he was closer to Brian’s height. “You say love you before you hang up.”
“Uh… love you Brat,” Brian said slurring his words together and wincing only slightly. Gus was right, he always said love you to his son. But that’s the only one he’d ever said the words to these days.
Later when Justin heard the message he froze. He played it again and again but he didn’t return the call. It made no sense, Brian saying those words. They were at best very good friends. He had made sure of that ever since his cancer. He’d buried himself in his school work and his company; anything to forget the pesky little impotence problem.
Finally he decided to pretend the words were never spoken and he called Brian’s number. “Hey,” his voice was soft; almost nervous.
“Sunshine, how did the exam go?” Brian had been sitting on the side of Gus’ bed. The boy had finally succumbed to sleep.
“Not bad.”
“You aced it.”
“Maybe.” Justin smiled; Brian could always make him feel good. “It’s the last one of the year. In two weeks I start my final year of school. I’ll be finished and hold two degrees. Why I need two, I don’t really remember now, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“I think I asked you about that at the time,” Brian had to laugh. “I thought it was because you were avoiding coming back to the Pitts and I still think so.”
“It’s not all about the Pitts,” Justin sighed. “I guess it’s because I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. I know I’m not going to be building websites and doing graphic design for ever.”
“I…” Brian wasn’t sure how to say this. “I heard you have a pretty amazing painting in L.A.” While he’d been there frequently before Justin’s cancer, he hadn’t been back since by request.
“I like it,” Justin said silently cursing the girls or LV for telling Brian about his painting.
“Maybe you can spend some time painting.”
“I haven’t had the training. I only paint what I feel. I can’t copy stuff and make it look any good.”
“Anyone with a fucking photocopier can do that,” Brian huffed. “An artist paints what he feels.”
“And slowly starves to death. Painting what you feel isn’t going to pay the rent.”
“Considering you own the condo with the kids, what does that matter.”
“It won’t pay the condo fees,” Justin laughed. “Hey Brian, don’t worry about me. I have another year of school before I have to worry about this shit.” Trying to change the subject he asked, “So did you decide to buy Babylon?”
“I think I might. I don’t need the aggravation, but at least I won’t have to pay the cover charge on Saturday night.”
“You never paid cover in your life,” Justin snorted.
“True, but you never know. If I buy it can I send you the layout prints? I think I’d like to change a few things.”
“Make a bigger back room?”
“Perhaps.” He smiled to himself; Justin at least seemed interested. He’d buy the moon if it would bring the blond back into the world from wherever the boy managed to isolate himself.
“Okay, I’ll look it over and give you some suggestions.”
“Good, because I sent them by courier yesterday, you should get them today.”
“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?” Justin laughed, but there was more life than there had been earlier.
They spoke for a few more minutes before agreeing to meet online about the plans in two days. Disconnecting, Brian checked on his sleeping son before making a decision he hoped he wouldn’t regret. He wandered through his home enjoying the spaciousness of the place. He’d decorated his bedroom and Gus’ room first, followed by the living room and his own office/den. Justin had been there all the way with the decorating although his young blond had never actually been to the house. It was Justin’s expertise that had made the large house a home. Only it wasn’t truly a home. To be that he needed the man he loved to move in.
As always Brian’s mind traveled to the difference in their ages. Twelve years sometimes seemed like a hundred and at other’s it was barely a blip. Of course that was when he had his dick up Justin’s ass. Which had been a damn long time ago, because the boy was sure he was unfixable. He felt his impotence was forever and he ‘wasn’t about to subject Brian to a life with a eunuch’. Justin’s words not his.
Twelve hours later Justin lay in his oversized bed dreaming; of Brian as he did most nights. He’d fallen asleep looking at some of the pictures he’d placed in frames on a floating shelf he’d fastened on the wall by his bed. It also served as a bedside table yet took up barely any room at all. He constantly changed the various pictures depending on his mood, but they mostly consisted of Brian and Gus. He’d told his roommates that he could look at them whenever he wanted; he didn’t need to look at their pictures before he fell asleep. Consequently the wall opposite his bed now held a poster sized comic graphic of the 2R’s and LV. It had been the only way to shut the three of the up.
He was exhausted. He’d put in a full day at the university and then almost seven hours in front of his computer. His only relaxation, if you could call it that, was the hour and half between school and home that he’d spent in the gym with Ruby and Reggie. This dream was different than most he’d been having. In this one he could smell Brian’s ridiculously priced citrus shampoo, and his fingers traced softly down whiskered cheeks. He loved Brian’s evening whiskers even though they played hell with his skin. Kisses that began on his nose, something the man did often to tease him, then traced his own face, butterfly soft on the lids of his eyes and more demanding on his welcoming lips.
Justin knew he was hard; harder than ever. In fact, he was as hard as a rock. He knew he could conquer the world and certainly he could have the lover he needed. In his dream he began an assault on Brian’s chest. Demanding that his lips, teeth and tongue place their brand on the older man. He was Justin, he was invincible and he was in love. He let his right hand, the one that never trembled in his dreams, but was steady and firm, grasp Brian’s engorged cock at the very root, cupping his balls before letting his finger find it’s way to his tightly closed hole. The hole that was his, Justin Taylor’s, for tonight he was the stud of all L.A. and Brian was his.
In his dream, lube was unnecessary, for his cock dripped copious amounts of it’s own natural lube, precum slick and wet. Justin placed himself between Brian’s legs, enjoying the momentary feeling of their two cocks rubbing against one another. His breathing was ragged; he was going to make long, gentle love to his man. It was his dream after all. He continued to kiss and nuzzle at the base of Brian’s cock, sure he could hear his man groan his name demanding to be serviced.
Justin smiled triumphantly, he would show Brian that he was a man above men. He would fill him with his cum. Slowly, in his dream world, he rubbed his natural lube on Brian’s hole and slicking his fingers with spit, he inserted two of them as gently as he could. But his lover bucked forward, demanding more and more, in a whisky voice that made Justin even harder… if that was possible.
He needed no other urging and slowly the hard yet soft mushroomed head of his cock began its assault. He sat on his legs, supporting Brian’s ass on his thighs, his legs held high and wide as he used his newly won muscles to thrust long and slow, fast and shallow, until the familiar heat of his orgasm and the tightening of Brian’s anal muscles, caused them both to orgasm in heated spasms that seemed to go on forever. Satisfied and more in love than ever, he collapsed on his dream Brian, allowing strong arms to hold him tight as rough breaths and wildly beating hearts calmed. His cock softened and slipped out but he didn’t notice that as he slept soundly he had truly made love to his man.
Brian, surprised at what had happened, had realized almost immediately that Justin was sleeping. He let his lover take command, interested in what was about to happen. When Justin began to fuck him raw, he was about to stop it when he realized that it had been almost a year since the cancer and he knew for fact Justin had been with no one since then. And to be perfectly honest, neither had he, although it wasn’t something he’d tell any of the Pittsburgh crew. His annual check up had been a month ago and he knew he was HIV negative. Justin would have been routinely checked when he’d been ill, and he was negative, what the hell, why not do it raw.
It was late when Justin woke up. At first he wasn’t sure if he was still dreaming, but the crusty stickiness of his chest sealed to Brian’s told him he wasn’t. “Brian?” he asked opening one eye.
“Go to sleep Sunshine, you’re dreaming,” Brian yawned. One hand went up and smoothed he hair.
Justin paled as he remembered the dream. He put one hand between his legs and surprising enough his cock was hard, not to mention slightly gummy. “Fuck!”
“Yes you did and it was rather good,” Brian drawled. “Though messy, but I guess that’s what showers are for.”
“Raw… we did it raw.” Justin tried to sit up slightly panicked.
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Now that you’ve had my virginity, I demand you marry me.” Brian reached over to the shelf on his side searching for cigarettes that he hadn’t used in years.
“What?” Justin really was confused now.
“You really aren’t a morning person,” Brian shook his head and pulled Justin back down so that the younger man was cradled in his arms. “Your choice; a shower and a fuck, or a fuck, shower and another fuck. You know I’m going to like this no condom thing, it’ll make the line of my trousers nicer without condoms in my pocket.”