Little White Lies Part 1 An alternate universe that takes place after episode 201 Justin put his paintbrush down and stretched the kinks from his body. He flexed his hand, amazed that it had held up all afternoon. He stepped back from the painting on the easel appraising it carefully. The subject was the same and he knew it would earn him considerable derision from his almost eleven-year-old daughter. He couldn't bring himself to cover it yet, instead he pulled up his office chair and sat staring at the never aging face of the man he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. A face that was in his thoughts and dreams continuously, one that would never fade with time because whenever he shut his eyes, he could see it as clearly as if the man stood inches away. He heard the front door slam and he knew Brianna was home from school. He replaced his latest painting with the book illustration he'd been working on earlier, carefully tucking the kissable lips and the hazel eyes away to join the hundreds of others that were stored in the room next to his studio and office. "Hi Daddy" Brianna bounced in the door and gave him a quick kiss. She was heartbreakingly beautiful already. Her features were immortalized in his series of children's books called Adventures in the land of Rainbow Skies. The combination of Daphne's fine African features combined with his blonde WASP genes had produced a child of amazing beauty. "Hi Bree" he smiled when she stopped to check his latest illustration. Her talent as an artist would probably exceed his eventually and she was very conscious of everything he did. "How was school today?" "Ok" "Learn anything interesting?" "No, but I got an email from Aunt Molly. Grandma Jen is coming to visit for spring break and Aunt Molly said she might come too." "Gawd, three females and me in this small house." Justin teased his daughter. "Mom said she might come to so that makes four." "Maybe I should go on a vacation and leave all you women here." He sighed. "Imagine ten whole days all to myself." "Maybe you could go to Vancouver and meet some hot guy" "I already have met a hot guy." "I mean a REAL one, not Mr. Mystery of the other room." She indicated with her head his room full of the man he loved in a hundred and more different poses. Justin smiled at her. He knew it was beyond stupid to still be in love with Brian Kinney almost twelve years after he'd last seen him. He told himself that every day and every day his heart ached knowing he'd never see him again and wondering what had become of him. Did he ever think about him? Did he ever wonder where he went when he got out of the hospital and Brian had sent him away that day at the loft? His whole life since the year he'd turned seventeen had been governed by little white lies beginning with the one he'd told his parents the night he met Brian. Little white lies would haunt him forever. Believing Daphne when she gave him the condom to use for her initiation into sex. Brian had always told him to use a condom that he himself had provided. Instead he had used one Daphne had given him that turned out to be one she'd gotten from a friend who had put pin holes in it. Daphne had assured him it was new, a little white lie. Brian letting him believe he'd never visited him in the hospital. A little white lie that still made him want to scream. His mother telling Brian to stay away from him and making him believe Brian didn't want him. Another little white lie that would haunt him forever. He looked at his daughter and realized that at least some good had come of these lies. Their early years together had been rough, but his mother had helped him and Daphne had worked hard at menial jobs barely missing any school. The memory of the look on Brian's face when he shut the loft door could bring him to his knees even after all of these years. It was the same day he discovered he was going to be a father, the same day his mother sent him and Daphne to her cousin in Sumas. It was a day of tears and terror and he still had nightmares from it. With each passing year, with each additional little white lie exposed, his heart had fractured until now he was sure he'd never be able to repair it. He spent hours on the Internet reading the Pittsburgh papers hoping to discover little bits of the lives of his former 'family'. It was never enough. Bree was sitting at her desk in his office surfing through various sites. "Hey Dad, have you ever heard of Parent Find?" "No, I can't say that I have. Why?" "There's some kid on here who's looking for a Justin Taylor. It just seemed kind of weird seeing your name on here." "Well, even your old Dad would remember if he'd had sex with any other women besides your mother." "I'm not even sure I want to know you had sex WITH my mother" Bree teased him. "There are probably lots of Justin Taylor’s in the world." "It seems kind weird though, he says his Justin Taylor comes from Pittsburgh and went to St. James Academy. I know you and mom went there." "I'll give you points on that one Bree" Justin was curious. He looked at Bree "What's that site addy? I think I'll check this out." Bree told him the address. Justin keyed it in. In the meantime, Bree had gone on to another site and was paying no attention to him. Justin looked at the site. It was obviously done by a novice in web building. As he scrolled down he realized that the site had to have been built by children. It was a Yahoo free site and the messages looking for parents were heart breaking. His name leapt out at him and so did the name of the child looking for him. His heart began to race and he used all his control not to have a panic attack in front of his daughter. He calmly reached into the side drawer of his desk and palmed one of his pills. He surreptitiously slipped it under his tongue and waited for the drug to kick in. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gmarkus12@hotmail.com I am searching for Justin Taylor of Pittsburgh. He went to St. James Academy. He was a really good artist and might still do art. My mom says he is about 29 years old. He has blonde hair and my mom says he has a nice smile. He left me when I was almost one year old so I don't remember him but I have a picture that I can send anyone who answers in case they might recognize him. It's really important that I find him so if any one knows of any Justin Taylor’s please email me. Gus Peterson-Marcus xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin sat in front of the screen reading and rereading the short post. He printed it out and his hands shook as he removed it from the printer. "Bree, I need to talk to you." His voice trembling, his daughter turned to him in alarm. "What's wrong Daddy?" He handed her the printed email. "I know this boy." His voice broke "I named him. I was there the night he was born. He's looking for me. He should know I'm not his father. I'm sure his mothers still see his father." "His father is Brian, isn't it?" she asked, but she knew the answer. The story of her father and Brian as told to her by her mother had always seemed so romantic and heartbreaking. "Yes" his answer - barely a whisper as the angst filled days of his hospital stay and the days following his release came flooding back. "Well, email him and see what he wants." Bree was being the practical woman, a role she had to assume often, as the daughter of a gay man. "I can't" "Oh for heaven's sake Daddy, he's just a kid like me. It's not a big deal." Bree turned to her computer and wrote: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx To: Gmarkus12@hotmail.com From: Breetaylor@uniserve.com Subject: Justin Taylor I know a Justin Taylor, why do you want to find him? Is he in some kind of trouble? My Justin Taylor is an artist from Pittsburgh and he's blonde and he attended St. James Academy." Brianna Taylor Abbotsford, British Columbia xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "There," she said, "Now if he's interested, he'll email back with more information." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Mom, MOM" Gus yelled "I got an answer" the taller than average twelve year old impatiently brushed his auburn hair out of his eyes. He looked toward the door willing his mother to run into the room. "Hurry up" Melanie, drying her hands on a dishtowel hurried into the room. "Calm down, the letter isn't about to self destruct. She reached for her glasses and Gus handed them to her automatically. She squatted down to read the screen. "Who in hell is Brianna Taylor?" she wondered. "I'm afraid to answer." Gus looked at her, his hazel eyes wide "What if it's the wrong Justin?" "Then we wait for another answer." Melanie said as matter of factly as she could. But time was running out and she knew they couldn't wait much longer. "Send her a short email and give our phone number. Ask her to have 'her' Justin Taylor call you." Melanie bit her lip. "tell her it's about Brian Kinney, tell her he's hurt." "What if he doesn't care? It's been a long time. I'm almost grown up." "If it's the right Justin Taylor honey, then he cares." Melanie knew that Justin had truly loved Brian at one time and that it would count for something. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx To: Breetaylor@uniserve.com From: Gmarkus12@hotmail.com Subject: Brian Kinney If this is the right Justin Taylor, can you have him call 555-791-9234 please anytime day or night. It's about my father Brian Kinney, he's hurt real bad. Gus Peterson-Marcus xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Gus hit send and Melanie gave a silent prayer that this was the right Justin. If it wasn't she didn't know what she was going to do. The two of them, mother and son sat staring at the computer screen willing it to give up its secrets. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Shit Dad, it's something to do with your Brian." Brianna printed out the email and handed it to her father. She was sure he hadn't moved since she'd hit the send button. Justin read the email and his face lost what little color it had left when he read that Brian was hurt. He blindly reached for the small telephone that was sitting on his desk and Brianna seeing how upset he was picked it up and dialed the number. She handed it to him when it started to ring. The ringing of the telephone startled both Melanie and Gus and they looked at each other not comprehending the sound. Finally Melanie picked it up. "Hello" she said. "Mel, is that you?" Justin asked. The years that had separated them fell away and it was the eighteen-year-old Justin calling the young mother. "Justin, Justin I can't believe it." Melanie burst into tears. Gus shook his head and took the phone from her hand. "Justin, this is Gus. Mom is kind of not able to talk right now." Justin could hear sounds of Melanie's crying. "Hey Gus, it's alright. What's wrong with Brian?" Justin's voice trembled but he was determined to be strong. "It's not too good Justin. He was in a real bad car accident and he's got a lot of injuries." "But Gus, I haven't seen your Dad for close to twelve years. Why do you need me there?" "But you loved him once didn't you?" Gus asked, and Justin could hear the child breaking through the almost grown up voice. "Yes I did." Justin's voice was low. "He loved you too and he still loves you." "He did? He does?" Justin wiped at his eyes, his emotions high. "How do you know?" "Because he has your picture in his office and he has a bunch of them in his house. And since his accident he has these real bad dreams and he's always talking to you in them." His voice caught. "Someone is always sitting in his room at the hospital, everyone takes turns and they talk about what he says and I listen." "Gus, can I talk to Melanie now?" "Sure Justin" Gus was about to hand over the phone to Melanie "Justin, I don't really remember you, but I've seen your pictures in the album and at Dad's. There are lots of them with you and me together and you always looked happy with me." "I was happy with you Gus. You were part of my family and I loved you very much." He said. Then quietly whispering “like a son Gus.” "Why did you go away from me and my Dad then?" "Your Dad told me he didn't want to see me anymore and at the time I was not thinking straight. I'd been hurt and had been in the hospital. I guess I let my mother and others think for me. It was only much, much later that I found out I was wrong and I'd been lied too, but by then I thought it was too late, so I stayed away." "It's never to late Justin, we really need you." Gus handed the phone to Melanie. "Justin, I'm sorry we're intruding in your life, but we're all desperate here." Melanie paused. "Brian needs you, we all really think that you're the only one who might make a difference with him." "Melanie, can you tell me just exactly what in hell is wrong with him." "The accident was pretty bad, he was rammed from behind by a drunk driver when he was stopped at a red light. The force pushed him into the path of another car. The injuries to his body aren't that bad, I mean he has a broken ankle and a couple of fractured ribs. But the worst is the head trauma. The airbag didn't deploy and his face was broken up when it connected with the steering wheel. He has a compressed fracture of the skull that caused pressure and some nerve damage with his eyes. The doctors' feel that while his sight is gone for now, it will return. He may need one or two surgeries for that but they figure he'll see again. It's his face that's the worse. No matter what kind of surgery they do, he'll never look quite the same. And you know Brian; he hasn't dropped his pursuit of everlasting good looks." "Does he know about the injuries?" "No he doesn't, not yet. He's been kept sedated, almost coma like to allow his body time to heal. That's why we know how he still feels about you. Lindsay always told me that he still loved you, but I never believed it. After sitting with him and listening to him ramble on about you, I know I was wrong." "I still don't know how I can help. He may have loved me once, but Melanie it was Brian who told me he didn't want to see me any more." "Justin, he was depressed before the accident. When he comes out of it --- well we're all afraid of what he'll do. Ever since his 40th birthday it's been bad." Justin had a good idea that Melanie wasn't exaggerating. He'd been there when Brian had turned thirty, Brian was vain then, he didn't think he'd be any less vain now. "He didn't want me around before Melanie, I'm not sure he'd be too happy seeing me now." "He didn't mean it Justin." "I know that now Melanie, but he didn't have to say it. He didn't have to listen to my mother." "He did it because he loved you Justin. He wanted you to have the best and he thought your mother could give you that. He didn't understand because his own mother would never have done for him what yours did for you. He had no basis for comparison and he was wrong. By the time he figured it out, well it was too late you'd gone away and your mother wouldn't tell him why or where and then she left town as well." "He came back to my mother's for me?" "Yes he did Justin. And he's spent a lot of money on private detectives in the first few months looking for you." "Melanie, did Gus ever read Adventures in the land of Rainbow Skies?" "Yes, he still does, the series seems to grow with the two children in the book. He's always liked it because the boy's name is Gus and the girl's name is Brianna, like the feminine of his dad's name." Melanie was silent for a moment. "Oh my gawd, it's you isn't it? It's you who writes those books? You're JT Bryon?" "That's me. I finished school in Canada and the first book was published before I graduated. I used a pseudonym at the time because I didn't want my sex known. The books always paid my way and I just continued using the name for any of my work, both the books and my painting. That's why he couldn't find me I suppose. Different country and different name." "Justin, do you still have any feelings for him? Is it too much to ask, for you to come and see if you can help?" "Melanie, I've never stopped loving him. Not for one damn minute have I ever stopped loving that man. Of course I'll come. Melanie, I'll be bringing my daughter with me. She's part of this too." "Your daughter Justin?" "Daphne's her mother. I think you remember my misguided efforts to help Daphne out when she wanted to lose her virginity. Well, Brianna is the result. It's a long story, I'll tell you more when we get there." "Justin, please hurry, they're going to start weaning him off the worst of the sedation tomorrow. He's not going to react well to the fact he can't see and everyone is afraid to tell him about his face." "I'll be there sometime tomorrow. I need to check out flights." "You and Brianna can stay with us." "I'll take you up on that until I see which way things are going. You do know that you'll have a couple of horny pre teens living together don't you?" "I think mine plays for the other team, but we aren't sure." Justin laughed at Melanie's attempt at code. "You don't dare ask, do you?" "No, thanks Justin, I'll tell Lindsay." She hung up the phone and turned to Gus. "Justin's coming. If anyone can help your father he can." "If Dad loved him so much, how come he let Justin leave?" "Your dad is very complicated man Gus. It's taken me a long time to figure that out about him. He does things that sometimes the rest of us don't understand, because he thinks he's doing the right thing. A lot of time he's wrong and it makes him sad. This was one of those times when he was wrong. It's made him sad for a long, long time." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Bree, I shouldn't have said we'd both go. I know that's not how we make big decisions in this family. I can call your Grandmother or your Aunt Molly to come early. They were going to be here for spring break anyway." "No way Dad. I'm going to see the famous Brian Kinney." She giggled. "It's high time we got the man out of the closet." Brianna made a pointing motion to the room where Justin stored his paintings. "Then it's decided. You book us tickets to Pittsburgh for the earliest flight we can get. I'll call your Grandmother and listen to her yell at me for a few minutes when she finds out where we're going and why." Brianna kissed her father's cheek then sat down and began to book their flights on line. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin stood in front of the ICU window and watched Brian. He steeled himself to enter the room of the sleeping man. Michael looked up from the comic book he was reading and to Justin's surprise, smiled in relief at seeing him standing in the doorway. He put his finger to his lips indicating silence and tiptoed out of the room. "Hey Justin, you look great" "Thanks Michael. Brian?" he asked. "He's sleeping naturally now. They began to take him off the sedation late last night." "How's he doing?" "I don't know, he seems like he isn't really here with us. It's hard to tell with all the bandages on his face. And he's in a lot of pain. He knows what happened; at first he thought it was your Dad again. But that was just because his mind wasn't firing with all pistons at the time. He's restless, but they don't want to give him any more drugs tonight if it can be avoided. They need to do some tests first thing in the morning." "I'll stay with him tonight Michael. You go home. Melanie tells me you've had a partner for a long time now. He'll be missing you." "You sure you don't mind Justin. You've flown across the country today. You must be tired." "I'll rest here. Michael, he sat with me every night I was in the hospital. It's time I returned the favor." "I didn't know that Justin, he never said." "No he didn't. That's the kind of guy he is." He looked hard at Michael "I guess his little white lie about that didn't count as a full blown lie by Brian Kinney rules." Michael patted Justin's shoulder in sympathy. He'd been on the receiving end of Brian's good intentions himself a time or two. Justin walked quietly into the hospital room. He stood beside Brian watching him sleep. Brian was moving, restlessly dreaming. He could hear him muttering his name and he wondered what was happening in Brian's dream world. He pulled up a chair beside the bed and rested his hand on the top of Brian's. Instantly the tall man was soothed, his hand turned and he clutched Justin's hand as his breathing evened out. Justin sat watching him, never taking his eyes off the still form, never removing his hand even after the pins and needles of inactivity had set in. He sat there silently willing Brian to be all right until the noises in the hospital corridors told him that a new day had begun. Gently he removed his hand. He kissed Brian's lips that peeked out of the heavy bandages, barely touching them and left the room. For the next week, Justin relieved Michael promptly at ten. He'd watch until he was sure Brian had fallen asleep, then he'd sit and hold his hand offering silent comfort as he watched over him. What had surprised him the most was the intensity of his feelings for the man laying on the bed in front of him. He'd been almost hoping that the feelings he had for Brian had almost died down. Justin looked with sad longing at Brian, before once again letting their lips touch and leaving him for the day. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin woke to the whispered voices of his daughter and Gus. "Ask him" Gus said to Bree. "He'll freak" Justin smiled at his daughter's words. "No he won't, it's the sensible thing to do." "Maybe to you, but you don't know my Dad." "Please, please, please" Gus pleaded. "You are such a Drama Princess." Brianna said in disgust. "I can't believed you talked me into this." "You love me bunches?" Gus said with a question in his voice. "Geeze Gus, can you butch up?" Bree was mocking. "I can be as butch as the next guy if I have to." Gus had deepened his voice. "You are such twat" "Don't let the moms hear you calling me that you bitch" Gus giggled. Justin rolled his eyes, hmmmmm, Melanie and Lindsay hadn't a clue. "Ok you two, I can hear every word. Now that I'm awake, get in here and spill." "Hi Daddy, sorry we woke you up." Bree bounced on the bed beside him. "Yeah, Justin, we were trying to be quiet." Gus bounced on the bed and ended up with his head on Bree's lap. Bree absently ran her fingers through his long chestnut hair while she thought about how she was going to broach the subject of staying in Pittsburgh for school. "Daddy dearest, Gus and I have this absolutely marvelous idea." "Let me guess, you two want to run off and get married?" "Like that's going to happen with junior gay boy here." Brianna said. "Owww, don't pinch" she glared down at Gus. Justin had to laugh. "Always the bridesmaid and never the bride huh Bree?" "I thought, maybe now that spring break is going to be over soon, that maybe Bree could enroll in school here. Then you could stay and look after Dad. Bree said you're a registered nurse." "I haven't done any nursing in a couple of years Gus, and Bree knows that." He looked at his daughter and contemplated what she'd said, a germ of an idea forming. "I make my living with my books and free lance illustrating now." "He's also painted your Dad's picture about seven zillion times, but he won't sell those." Justin still regretted selling the ones he'd done years ago. The paintings of Brian had sold well and made him more than enough money for all the extras that raising a child had brought. Those early years were pretty hard for all of them. His biggest mistake had been selling the life-sized portrait of Brianna running naked through the ocean waves when she was three. That sale had paid for five months of freedom from working at the hospital while he finished his first book. He still remembered how pissed Daphne had been when she'd dropped in for a visit and found he'd quit his job. It was a long time before she'd returned and he'd had a hell of a job explaining to Bree why her mother was such a prick without actually saying it. "I suppose you'd want to go to St. James with Gus?" Justin looked at his beautiful daughter and smiled. "I'd have to, Gus is like a complete wuss, he could use the protection." Gus rolled on his back and smiled up at Justin. "I really am in need of protection and Bree is very tough" Justin looked at his daughter and inwardly laughed at this boy who stood at least a foot taller than his daughter, needing her protection. "Bree never struck me as being a jock kind of girl Gus." Bree smiled at Gus fondly, stroked his hair. Justin took stock of what Gus must see when he looked at the girl. She was barely five feet tall, had waist length blonde hair that was a mass of curl, her skin tone was the creamiest coffee and she had his smile that she used to her advantage whenever she could. And he saw what Gus must see as well. Brianna had strength of will that was stronger than anyone Justin had ever known. She was a champion of causes and loyal to a fault. Gus couldn't ask for a better friend. "I'll tell you what. I'll make a decision before spring break is over." The two kids piled on top of him like two puppies. "Thank you Daddy" "Thank you Justin" he wrapped his arms around them both and kissed them on the cheek. "Off of me, I have things to do before I go to the hospital tonight." A quick shower and a cup of coffee later, Justin sat down and called all the friends to meet at Melanie and Lindsay's. Lindsay agreed to sit with Brian so Michael could attend the meeting. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin looked at all of his old friends, all of whom were still like family. "I had a meeting with Brian's doctor today before I left the hospital. They want to send him to a rehab hospital to finish healing. It would be better for him while he begins some of the reconstruction surgeries that will be needed. But all of you know how Brian is going to react to that idea. He's barely spoken to any of you since he regained consciousness. He pretends to be asleep, but we all know he isn't. His doctor feels that his depression is becoming worse and wants to begin therapy for that on top of everything else." He looked at them all. "I have a plan that may work and I want you all to hear me out. If we agree, it will take all of us to pull it off, because I'm sure Brian hasn't improved any in the stubbornness department. I've already talked to his doctor about it and he's agreed to go along with the plan." "I'm going to start with some of my story. When I left here I was an emotional mess. I thought the man I loved hated me, I wasn't able to draw, and I'd just found out I'd managed to get Daphne pregnant. My mother and Daphne's mother came up with a plan to satisfy both of their versions of what Daphne and I should do to lessen some of the supposed scandal that seemed to taint me and now Daphne. They shipped the two of us off to my mother's cousin in Sumas, Washington. It's a little border town, actually more like a village. Mom's cousin worked across the border in the Abbotsford Hospital as a nurse. We were both enrolled in Simon Fraser University and would go with Helen, mom's cousin every day. We'd drop her off at the hospital and Daphne and I would drive to the SFU. Our day ended at three, but Helen's didn't end until seven. She worked twelve-hour shifts, seven to seven. Daphne and I would spend our waiting time at the hospital doing our homework and eventually getting to know the staff and then doing odd jobs for them. By the time Daphne had Brianna, we actually were earning some money working part time at the hospital. Daphne had the baby and she began taking some pre med courses and now she's a Pediatrician. I spent more and more time at the hospital and began to tailor some of my course to medical ones and eventually became a Registered Nurse. This by the way guys is the condensed version of the first six years we were gone. The hospital and SFU had great day care, Brianna was happy, I was happy and Daphne was happy, though we rarely saw her and she soon moved to Vancouver because of her hours." "Of course I never stopped painting and my first children's books were the result of Brianna's constant nagging for a story." He smiled at his daughter. "I sold some paintings, I have to admit I regret selling a few of them. But they brought in enough money for me to concentrate on my writing and illustrating full time. My books are published under the name JT Bryon." He grinned at them. "And that's the name my paintings have sold with as well." "The point of this long story is Brian. He needs to have nursing care for the next few weeks, maybe months. He would be miserable in a rehab place so he really should recover at his home. It would mean round the clock care at first and eventually not quite as much. I propose that I be that care at least for the first few weeks. He doesn't have to know it's me. The doctor will introduce me as JT Bryon. That way he doesn't have to do his usual misguided effort of pushing away someone who cares about him, figuring he's doing it for their own good. It will be known from the first that it's only a temporary job for me and that more suitable care will take over as he progresses. Perhaps a housekeeper or something." He looked at all of them. "Brian did so much for me and this is a way I can repay him. By the time his sight is back, I'll be gone." "Justin, honey, we don't want you to go again. There must be some other way." Debbie began. "Deb, you know Brian, he's a proud man. Do you really think he'd let me do this if he knew it was me? Not to mention the problem with his face, I can't see him ever letting me or any of you see him less than perfect." "Justin's right" Michael said. "Brian wouldn't let any of us look after him. I think we should at least try this idea out. If it doesn't work, well he won't be any more pissed with us than he usually is when we try to run his life." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Brian woke up and once again had the feeling that Justin had been with him. He was sure he could tell when he'd leave the room. It was somehow colder and impersonal and lonely. Just another hospital room. He wondered if he'd ever wake up and not think of the young blonde that he'd fallen in love with and then pushed out of his life so many years ago. He wasn't looking forward to another day of interviewing prospective live-in nurses. He'd finally managed to get his doctor to agree to let him return to his own home. And then convinced all of his friends that he had to have qualified nursing care, not well meaning friends who would soon tire of some of the more unpleasant aspects of his recovery. Unfortunately the nurses that his doctor had found and the ones Cynthia had turned up were all something out of central casting for a very bad grade B movie. If he didn't find one today, he'd go to the rehab place. At least there he'd be far enough away from everyone that he’d be able to deal with this damn depression that was driving him nuts. "Good morning Brian" Dr. Barrett walked into his room. "I see you didn't make a decision yesterday. I have to tell you son, I'm running out of options here." "You have to admit Doc that you've found some pretty bizarre home nurses." He shuddered. "There aren't that many out there who are willing to live in with the patient seven days a week with no time off, twenty four hours a day." "You make it sound bad Doc. I just don't want a lot of people in and out of the house." "I have one more to send you. This is a young man I've known since he was a small boy. He's a Registered Nurse, though he hasn't worked at the job for a couple of years. He has a young daughter who has decided she wants to complete her academic year here in Pittsburgh, at St James Academy where her mother attended. He's been staying with friends and while he does have another income, he would like to keep busy for the next few months of the school year. I mentioned you to him and he said that if you and he were compatible he would consider a three-month contract." "I don't know Doc, that means the kid would be living with me too." "She is a very nice young lady, almost twelve years old and a talented artist even at such a young age." Brian sighed, he really had no choice, he would interview the guy. "Could you have him come in after lunch and Doc. Have him bring his daughter too. I need to meet both of them if I'm going to have them live in my house." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Justin was nervous; he kept fidgeting with his hair. "Dad, I thought you said Brian couldn't see yet." Bree looked at him with exasperation. "He can't" "Then does it really matter if your hair looks good?" Justin laughed, "I suppose not." He began to pace the waiting room down the hall from Brian's room. "Where is the damn doctor?" he asked for the umpteenth time. "The damn doctor is right here." Dr. Barrett said with a smile. "Come on you two, we'll meet Mr. Kinney now." The three of them walked into Brian's room. "Brian, I've brought JT Bryon and his daughter Bree to meet you." If Brian's face hadn't been covered in bandages, they would have seen him go pale. "What the fuck is Justin and his daughter doing here?" he thought to himself. "Hello Mr. Kinney, I'm JT Bryon, you can call me Jay and this is my daughter Bree." Justin walked over to the bed and took Brian's hand in his and shook it. "Hi Mr. Kinney," a soft feminine voice said. "I'm Bree." She leaned over and kissed his hand. "It's the only part that's not covered" she explained. "Or else I would have kissed your cheek. Dad says I'm very affectionate." "Apparently" Brian said. He was having a difficult time controlling his breathing and could barely talk. "Mr. Kinney, Dr. Barrett has explained the job requirements. He has checked my references and qualifications and has found them satisfactory. While I know you weren't expecting to have a young person living in, I assure you Bree is easy to get along with and rarely any trouble." "Jay" Brian cleared his throat. "Have you been in town long?" "Almost two weeks" Brian knew now why he'd felt Justin was watching over him every night. He had been. "Why come to Pittsburgh, I've even heard of your fame as an artist not to mention I understand you're the author of a number of children's books. I have one or two of your paintings and my son Gus has all of your books." He paused. "Why go back to nursing?" "Let's just say my daughter would like to attend her mother's school for this semester and I find myself at a loss for something to occupy my time. You will only require the care that I can provide for about the same time as it takes Bree to complete her school year. This will give us a place to live and me something to do that I love doing." "Jay, you really want to do this? I won't be easy to live with and they tell me I'm a terrible patient. I understand that under these bandages it's not a pretty sight. I'll be having surgeries, usually on a day patient basis, so you will have me both pre op and post op." "Mr. Kinney, there isn't anything you could dish out that I can't handle." Brian made a quick decision. He didn't know why and he didn't know how Justin had found him. But there was no way he was letting him get away now that he was here. "Call me Brian. Bree, I have a son about your age. Maybe you'll get to meet him." (Like you haven't already, he thought) "Cool" Bree said. "You have the choice of going to your home by ambulance tomorrow, or I can drive you. It's up to you. You know your pain tolerance and how the ride will affect your ribs. I understand that you're having a walking cast put on your ankle this afternoon so I don't believe we'll need a chair." Justin was very matter of fact and professional. "I'd rather you drove me Jay. I'll have my assistant replace my car. She should have the new one here for eleven-tomorrow morning. We'll use that. Or I guess you'll use it. I don't think I'll be doing much driving for a few weeks." Brian heard Justin smother a yawn. He'd been up all night and must be tired. Brian held out his hand to Justin. "I'll see the two of you tomorrow then." Justin took Brian's hand to shake it and was surprised when Brian clasped it with both of his hands. "Jay, thank you, it means a lot to me that you're doing this." Justin blinked back tears. "I want you to get better Mr. K - I mean Brian." Brian heard the catch in his voice and smiled to himself at the familiar sound. "Do you have allergies Jay?" he asked his voice was light. "I do have a few Brian." "I'll remember that." Brian leaned back into his pillow and listened for Justin and his daughter to leave. For the first time in years he actually felt light hearted despite everything that had happened to him. Brian lay on the bed and regulated his breathing so that he would appear to be sleeping. He needed time to think about what was happening. For some reason Justin was here, had been here since very soon after his accident. He suspected all his well-meaning friends had some weird ass idea that he'd be pissed if he knew Justin had come to his rescue. Actually it kind of made him feel good that the kid still cared enough to come. As soon as he mentally said 'kid' he realized how stupid that was. Justin was almost twelve years older, he had a profession, a daughter and he'd made a name for himself. He was amazed that what had cost him hundreds of dollars in fees to a Private Investigator years ago had been accomplished so quickly and probably with little cost. It took him almost an hour of thinking to come up with the only one who could have known how to locate Justin. He cleared his throat and said "Who's sitting with me today?" "Hi Brian, I'm glad to see you're awake. Are you feeling ok, should I get the nurse?" Lindsay looked at him not knowing what to do. He usually remained silent during her shift at the hospital. "Linds, I'm going home tomorrow and I know I won't be in any shape mentally or physically to have visitors for a few days. Could you bring Gus in to see me later today? I'd really like to have a talk with him if I could." "Why Brian, is there something I should know? I can call Melanie to bring him right away." "Don't go all weird Linds, I just want to talk to the boy. I'm not about to make some profound statement to him and then 'off' myself. I haven't talked to him since before the accident. No one ever brings him in. I'd just like to reassure him I'm alright and will eventually be my usual fun self." Lindsay laughed at that. "You were never all that much 'fun' Brian. But I'll call Mel and she can bring Gus in when she comes to pick me up." "Thanks Linds." He sighed. "I'm going to sleep again. Wake me up when Gus gets here." "I will Brian" she said and patted his hand. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Hey Dad" Gus was nervous looking at the still form in the hospital bed. His face in bandages, mysterious tubes and monitors around him making him look pretty scary. Gus was afraid he might hurt him if he touched him. "Hey Gus, I'm glad you could come." Brian felt for the button that would move the top half of the bed. He managed to make the bed rise a few inches before the pain of moving was too much for him. "Who else is in the room?" "The moms are here." "Lindsay take Melanie for a walk. I want some private time with my son." "But - "I don't think that what I'm asking is too unreasonable. I'm not about to strangle him or anything." He smiled to himself when he heard Gus giggle. He heard footsteps start to leave the room. "We'll be right outside if you need us." Melanie offered. "Gus, will you need them?" Brian asked. "Moms, I'm like twelve and in way better shape than Dad is right now. I think I can handle him." "Gus, can you shut the door. I don't want anyone listening in." "Sure Dad. Hey Dad, they aren't worried about me you know. They're worried about you." "I know that Gus, I just like to bug Melanie." "How come you wanted to see me?" "I think you have something to tell me don't you? About how you managed to find Justin and get him here." "Shit Dad, how did you know? They're going to kill me if they find out I told you anything." "Gus, I've known where Justin was for many years. In fact I knew where he was two months after he left. I've followed his career and kept an eye out for him and helped him whenever I could." "How come you never said anything? Everyone always talks about Justin and you and stuff but you never said anything at all." "Because Justin had a life that he'd made. He seemed happy. I couldn't interfere in that." "But he loved you Dad, that wasn't fair." "Maybe not, but I did what I thought was the best thing for him." He paused. "How did you find him?" "I put a message on "Parent Find" an Internet group for kids looking for their parents." "Now that was ingenious. Did it take long?" "No, Brianna emailed me the same day I put my message on the board." "What happened? "Justin called me right away. He was really scared for you Dad. I think he was crying. I felt kind of bad that I'd scared him. He talked to Mom for awhile and the next day he was here with Brianna." "I was so sure he was with me every night. I started to feel - I don't know - I guess 'safe' is the right word." "Yeah, he's here every single night. He stays until the hospital kind of wakes up for the day. He said you used to stay with him when he was in the hospital a long time ago. Is that right Dad?" "I didn't think he knew about that." "He said it was one of the misguided 'little white lies' that seem to rule his life." "I'm going to ask you to help me with another 'little white lie' misguided or not. I don't want you to tell anyone that I know it's Justin who's here and moving in with me. For two reasons, the first one is that I need him. He's trained to deal with someone in my situation and I know that he'll do his best for me. And the second reason is probably more selfish than the first. I don't want him to leave again. I've wasted too many years without him. I want to find out if he still loves me enough to stay and become my partner." "Wow, no shit Dad, that's so cool" "You don't have a problem with this?" "Can I tell Bree? She's my best friend and she could help." "She's your best friend already?" Brian was amused. "She must be some hot chick" "She's really pretty, but she's the toughest, bravest person I know. We were in the park hanging out on the swings and these guys from school started bugging me about stuff and she just walked up to the meanest one and talked to him in this really scary sort of way and he looked kind of funny and took off with his friends. They've never bothered us since. In fact yesterday we saw them come into the park and when they looked at Bree, they turned around and left." "What did she say?" Brian was curious "I have no idea, but whatever it was, they sure didn't like it. She said she'd look after me at St. James and no one will bug me twice." "I didn't know you were having problems in school. Why didn't you say something?" "It's no big deal Dad. Some guys are just assholes just because I'm in the drama club and choir. I mean not every body likes to play football. I've got the lead in the school play this year and it usually always goes to one of the seniors." "So Bree, is she tall, short, fat, skinny. Describe her." "She's shorter than me." "How much shorter?" "A lot shorter, and she's kind of little, and she has blonde hair that's all curly. Her hair is really cool; when she takes it out of her braids she can sit on it, that's how long it is. Oh and she has blue eyes and is kind of golden all over." "She sounds beautiful." "Hey Dad, you know the picture in the den, the one with the little girl on the beach? Bree kind of looks like that only older and with clothes on." "That is her Gus. Her Dad painted it when she was about three." He thought for a moment. "Gus I need you to do me a favor. Could you ride your bike to my place and lock the door to the den?" "OK, Bree can borrow one of the moms' bikes. Do you want it locked because of all the Justin pictures and stuff? I bet the other pictures are one's he's done too aren't they?" "Are you sure you're only twelve?" "I'm almost thirteen. Bree is practically one year younger than me." "Yes she is. I'd forgotten that." Brian heard the door to his room open. "So Gus that's really great about the school play. Have one of the mom's video tape it for me. I won't be able to watch it for a few weeks, but eventually I will." Gus realized that Brian didn't want his mother to know what they'd been talking about. "Ok Dad" he kissed Brian's hand. "Mom says that I can come and visit you next weekend if you're doing ok. Is that all right?" "I guess we'll just have to wait and see Gus. If the swelling is down, I think they are going to start the first of my face reconstruction." "Ok Dad. I love you." "Bye Gus, I love you too."