Silent Night-5 By Elsa Rose Plot Bunny by Amanda Brian sat with Raj, Josh and the parents of the twins, front and center of the large auditorium. He could see Justin standing nervously in the wings of the auditorium with the rest of his graduating class. One by one their names were called. As each name was called their graduation picture was flashed on a large screen. Even knowing this, Brian was startled by the surge of emotion that went through him when they called Justin Kinney and a larger than life picture appeared on the screen. Justin all but bounced up onto the stage, receiving his diploma and shaking hands with those presenting. Then he paused as they announced the two bursaries and the scholarship that he had won. Brian blinked back the tears that threatened to fall and almost laughed out loud when Justin locating him with his eyes, blew him a cheeky kiss before descending the stairs. Instead of taking his place beside his fellow students, Justin returned to the line up. “What’s up?” Brian whispered to Josh who was sitting beside him. “I’m not sure, with Justin it could be most anything.” Dorian’s name was announced ten minutes later and the boy walked sedately across the stage to receive his diploma. He whispered something to the presenter and then turned and flashed his parents a smile. Max’s name was announced. It had been agreed previously that Max would receive her diploma at the end and the presenter would come down to her and her chair. The whole graduating class stood and cheered as slowly and painstakingly Max, with Justin at her side whispering encouragement, climbed the steps and walked across the stage, never faltering. She received her diploma and was also awarded the same scholarship that Justin had been awarded. Between the two of them, Justin and Max, their smiles were blinding as they made their way down the steps on the other side and over to their class. Brian had never been prouder. It was a moment he’d never forget. He looked over at Max’s parents and wasn’t surprised to see tears streaming down their faces. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ He found Justin sitting on Max’s lap while she wheeled her chair and Dorian moved backwards in front of them video taping The crowd of parents and friends were milling around and Brian was surprised that he’d located Justin so quickly. “Hey Sunshine, Max, Dorian.” Brian drawled. “It’s nice to see you children playing like good little boys and girls.” “Where’s Raj and Josh?” Justin asked. He kissed Max’s cheek and hopped off to throw his arms around Brian’s neck. “I’m all growed up Professor and I’ve got the piece of paper to prove it.” Brian shook his head at Justin’s giddiness. “Raj and Josh have gone home to make sure the lunch is ready for everyone. I understand that we have something to celebrate.” Max and Dorian and Justin all grinned at him. “It’s so cool that you convinced Justin to stay Brian.” Max said. “I knew you could do it.” “Ultimately Max, it’s Justin’s decision. But he knows how I feel.” “Well all I know is that I get to have him for a whole year.” Max beamed. “Mom and Dad said that if you approve, we can all get an apartment near the University.” “Geeze Max, hit him with everything at once why don’t you.” Dorian griped. “He’s barely recovered from last night’s little drama.” “I think it’s a great idea.” Brian replied surprising all three of them. “Maybe the two of you can keep Sunshine out of trouble.” “Ha ha” Justin said. “Max is the WORST trouble maker of anyone I know. She’s responsible for every damn detention I’ve had.” “He was such a goody, goody.” Max said with a trill of laughter. “I bet in his old life he never did anything wrong. I bet he never had a detention before.” Brian could see the clouds flash over Justin’s face. He hated being reminded of his old life. “Mr. Kinney, welcome to the world of adults.” Brian said formerly as he bowed low. “I’d suggest you get your bubble butt in the car so that we can eat. I never did have any breakfast.” He turned to the other two. “I believe your parents are driving you. We’ll meet you back at the house. We’ll talk apartments when you get there.” Brian put his arm around Justin’s shoulder and began to lead him away from the other two. “Say goodbye Sunshine.” He whispered in his ear. “Later guys.” Justin said absently. When they were almost at the car, Justin slowed down. “I don’t know if I got any detentions Brian. I mean I don’t think I ever did. But I don’t know for sure. I remember being pushed into my locker. I remember someone setting my locker on fire and losing my sketches and my math homework. I even remember giving this hot guy a hand job one day after class. But that’s it.” “It’ll come eventually. As long as you were never married or fathered any children, I think we can work it out.” Brian attempted levity and he managed to get a half smile out of the young man in his arms. “I’ll leave the fathering of children to you thank you.” Justin said. “But I wouldn’t mind being married someday.” “Fags don’t get married, or haven’t you heard?” “Actually they do.” Justin replied. “But then I believe we’ve had this conversation before.” “I don’t remember.” Brian grinned down at Justin and Justin grinned up at him. Justin took Brian’s hand and they both ran laughing toward the car. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The party was in full swing when Justin noticed that Brian was missing. He looked around the room full of people who cared for him and had become like family. Melinda was enjoying herself being wheeled around in Max’s chair by Dorian; Max was sitting at the kitchen table playing a heated game of chess with Raj. Max’s mother was holding Will and cooing at him and he at her. But there was no Brian. Justin slipped outside. He walked to the back of the garden and sure enough Brian sat on a stone bench smoking. “Professor, I missed you.” Justin sat down beside him and took the cigarette out of his fingers. “Smoking is bad for you.” “So is hanging out with all of you.” Brian said, his voice dry. “Does Max ever stop talking?” “Not for long.” Justin laughed. He ground the cigarette beneath his feet. “There’s a possibility I might strangle her when we live together.” “About that, I realized that if you are sharing an apartment with those two, that you and I won’t have any time alone.” “It would be an apartment, I’d have my own room.” “Yes you would, but I think you and I both know that we have on occasion gotten rather noisy, not to mention the fact that you like to have sex in every conceivable spot in the house.” “I never thought about that. I don’t want to disappoint them. Max especially, she’s been over protected and has never been allowed to do anything since her accident. I think her parent’s figure I’m a good catch.” “They have good taste.” Brian chuckled. “I think you’re a good catch.” “Yes but I told you, you’re easy.” “But not cheap.” Brian joked. “I agree that it would be a good idea for you to live with your friends. I’m going to get a place here where we can spend time together and where you can escape when thoughts of murder hit you.” “That’s what you were doing out here, thinking of our rather active sex life?” Justin ducked his head under Brian’s arm, forcing Brian’s arm over his shoulder. “I like how your mind works Professor.” He kissed Brian’s cheek that was already growing prickly with a dark auburn beard. “We only have one more night Sunshine. Are we going to waste it here watching everyone stuff their face and tell one story after another?” “It’s only four in the afternoon, hardly night.” Justin leaned into Brian and Brian clutched him close. They sat side by side like that until a small voice said. “Daddy says you have to come back inside Sunshine. You too Uncle Brian.” Melinda looked at the two of them. “Sunshine you promised you’d swim with me.” “That I did, but I was waiting until the sun wasn’t so high in the sky. The Professor doesn’t like it when I’m all red and glowing.” “He does if it’s not the sun that caused it.” Brian whispered in his ear. “Will you come swimming too Uncle Brian?” “I can do that.” Brian stood up and offered his hand to Justin. “Come on Sunshine, let’s get soaking wet.” Melinda held out her hands. “Swing me Uncle Brian.” “I’ll take one hand and Sunshine can take the other, we’ll swing you on the walk back to the house. We need to find our bathing suits.” “I already have my bathing suit on.” Melinda said indignantly. “It’s my red one.” “So you do Melly my girl.” Brian said, “But Sunshine doesn’t.” “Sunshine swam in the pool naked. I saw him.” Melinda said. “He was swimming with Max and Dori. Everybody was naked and they were smoking and laughing.” Brian stopped and looked at Justin. “Sunshine?” “It was hot, we were…… we needed to cool off.” He looked at Melinda. “It was night, why were you looking out your window?” “You woke me up. You and Max and Dori kept laughing.” She looked smug. “Daddy said you guys were baying at the moon. I don’t know what that means, but daddy said that teenagers do it a lot.” She smiled at Justin. “You looked silly and so did Max. Max kept almost falling down.” Justin looked at Brian and flushed. Brian rolled his eyes. “We’ll chat later Sunshine.” “Brian, we were high.” Justin began. “What’s high?” Melinda asked. “Later.” Brian turned and kissed Justin on the nose to show that he wasn’t angry with him. Justin was fragile as far as feelings were concerned. He still couldn’t believe that he was good enough for anyone to love him. It was one more reason that Brian didn’t want to jump into a more permanent relationship. He didn’t want to find out later that Justin’s love was for the wrong reasons. “Uncle Brian, can I take my bathing suit off and swim naked?” “Not today Melli, today I’d like to see you in your suit. After all it’s so pretty and pink with butterflies on it.” “I bet it looks cool under the water Melinda.” Justin added just as he and Brian, each holding an arm, swung her high making the little girl squeal. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After their swim, when everyone had gone with promises of early morning phone calls and lots of laughter, Brian and Justin were finally alone in the small guest house. “From what Max was saying, the three of you have already scoped out a few apartments.” Brian began. “Actually Max and her mother have, Dorian and I remain passive, it’s really Max who wants to escape her mother’s clutches. I’d be content to stay right here and Dorian doesn’t care one way or another.” “Then why are you moving?” “It’s for Max Brian. She’s……” Justin searched for the word. “I don’t know, since the car accident, she’s always babied by her mother. That’s probably why she’s still in the chair. She could learn to walk focusing like I’ve taught her, with maybe a cool looking cane for balance. She would gain her independence. I think the last few months with me and Dorian, she’s finally figured it out. Not that we didn’t already know it. But she’s a girl; you can’t tell her a damn thing. She has to figure it out for herself.” “She’s not the only one who needs to figure things out for himself.” Brian smiled. “You do know that she has a massive crush on you. It could be awkward if you were living together.” “I know she has feelings for me. I’ve explained to her that I love her, but like a sister, not like I love you.” Justin shrugged and turned away. This conversation wasn’t what he’d wanted. “It didn’t work when I explained that to you. I found a certain blond in my bed inching his way into my heart.” Brian was behind him. The tall man rested his chin gently on Justin’s head and wrapped his arms around him. Justin turned in Brian’s arms and placed the side of his head on Brian’s chest. He listened to the steady beat of Brian’s heart for a few minutes and heard the truth in the words that had been uttered. “I love you. It’s different.” He whispered. “She loves you too Sunshine. I don’t want you getting into something you can’t handle.” Brian rubbed Justin’s back. He could feel tense muscles. “Why don’t we table this conversation? You’re an adult and you’re aware of the situation. I trust you Justin.” “That’s kind of the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Justin sighed. “I’ll be careful, after all Dorian is there to keep an eye on both of us.” “Somehow I don’t find Dorian’s presence all that reassuring. “ Brian chuckled. “I wish I could be here. I think I’d be paying more attention than Dorian.” “Are you really going to rent a place for the year?” “No, I’m going to buy a place. It’ll be an investment in your future and mine.” Brian kissed Justin. His lips lingered and soon Justin’s hand cupped the back of Brian’s head pulling him closer. In a frenzy of sensations their kisses heated up as the two of them hungrily devoured each other. “Justin.” Brian breathed barely able to catch his breath,so heady were the kisses that were being exchanged. “Shhhhh” Justin managed as they sunk to the floor, thoughts of the bedroom never entered either of their minds. Justin felt the cold tiles on his back; it was a welcome relief to the fire of his body. He shut his eyes so that he could feel each touch of Brian’s fingers, his lips, and his skin. Though he ached to watch, he couldn’t resist the heady drug of sensation that Brian made him feel each time they made love. Instead Justin used his imagination and memories of Brian’s lust filled eyes. He loved to see the hazel darken into the deep green of a hidden forest. Hidden away in the recesses of Justin’s mind were fantasy visions he’d woven of Brian’s seduction. There would be a day when he’d transfer those hidden scenes to canvas. But now, it was time to give himself to Brian’s expert and demanding touch. As Brian made love to him Justin wondered if the man knew that he was constantly talking, whispering, murmuring, words of love and adoration that Justin committed to memory for those long empty nights filled with silence. As Brian’s lips moved lower, his fingers caressing, touching, pinching, Justin’s legs spread open wider in wanton abandon, allowing the older man easier access to all that he desired. Unable to remain silent any longer Justin groaned, the sound ripped from deep inside him. It was a game they played, Justin trying to remain silent, while Brian worked his magic. It was a game that Justin knew he would always lose. And he didn’t mind one bit. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin woke to the sound of Brian’s voice on the telephone Sunday morning. He stretched the kinks out of his back. He couldn’t remember everything about going to bed. He remembered the delicious feel of Brian’s lovemaking. He remembered falling into a sated sleep and had vague memories of being carried to bed and a tall thin body snuggling close before sleep overtook them both. This time when the nightmares began, the haunted shadowed dreams of shouted terror and pain, Justin had Brian’s strength to ward them off and change his dreams to something wonderful. Brian’s conversation was coming to an end. Justin couldn’t make out the words, but the man seemed pleased with what had been arranged on the phone. Justin stretched again and then forced himself out of bed. He stood by the rumpled sheets hating to move, but did after all, heading toward the bathroom. “You’re awake finally.” Brian spoke in his ear before bending down and kissing the tip. “I have to piss.” “And a very friendly and sunshiny good morning to you too.” Brian laughed. “Get your ass moving. We have an appointment in an hour.” “I’m not going anywhere until I eat.” Justin mumbled. Fuck he hated getting up in the morning. It was worse if he’d smoked up the night before, and of course last night he’d done just that after their swim. “If you want to eat, move your ass.” Brian left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen where he put on another pot of coffee. The sound of the shower filled the small guest house and Brian smiled. He pulled out the ingredients for an omelet and began to assemble them. The food should be ready by the time Justin finished. While he worked in the small kitchen, Brian let his mind wander over the last day. He’d never felt prouder than he had when Justin had walked down the aisle. Justin had more than excelled in his studies. He’d worked hard and he’d been rewarded with grades he deserved. Justin reminded him a bit of himself when he was the same age. A contradiction of adult and child, wanting to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted, yet wary because life had dealt him a bad hand up until now. Brian had put his own emotional life on hold, he wasn’t about to have Justin do the same. “I smell food and coffee.” Justin grinned at him and kissed Brian’s cheek as he moved past and sat at the table. Brian poured him a cup of coffee and placed the omelet in front of him. “Eat, we have a few minutes until we have to leave.” “Where are we going?” “To look at a couple of apartments.” Brian smiled at the surprised look on Justin’s face. “I do have a few connections here in Phoenix Sunshine.” “Cool, I can’t believe you found something to look at so fast.” “Actually while you were getting your beauty sleep, I was on the internet looking at places that my friend recommended. I found a couple that just might work.” “For you or for me?” Justin asked. “For both of us. They’re all in the university district.” Brian took the dirty dishes and put them in the dishwasher. “Remember, Max and Dorian have to be able to afford the rent too. I mean their parents have to pay two thirds.” “Why don’t we cross that hurdle when we come to it Sunshine. You know if you worry too much, it’ll cause wrinkles.” “I’m too young for wrinkles.” Justin said with a laugh. “You on the other hand should worry about the harsh sun here.” “Brat.” Brian made a show of swatting Justin’s ass as the two of them went out the door, each of them laughing. It was a better start to Justin’s day than an hour earlier. There was a bit of a tussle over who was going to drive before they were on their way. Brian sat behind the wheel of the car refusing to move until Justin had applied sunscreen to his face and arms as well as putting on a hat. He almost laughed out loud at the mutinous look on the teen’s face, but refrained at the last minute. “Can we start driving now?” Justin asked staring straight ahead. Brian turned the key as an answer, backing out of the driveway and heading toward the city and the University. “You would have lost a lot of time each day driving in from Josh and Raj’s place.” Brian observed. “ “But I could have used the time to relax.” “How much relaxing would you get listening to Max?” “Point taken.” Justin enjoyed the sun on his face and the wind in his hair. It was an unexpected bonus having Brian drive, though he hated the feeling of the sun screen and the hat made him look like an idiot. Justin was determined to lose the hat at the apartment building they were heading for. “It doesn’t look too bad.” Brian had parked in front of a large building that seemed to reach for the sky. “It’s new and the units are well laid out.” “It looks too expensive.” Justin observed. “Anything this good looking is going to cost an arm and a leg each month. And it probably won’t have any three bedroom places. New buildings hardly ever do.” “A three bedroom apartment is not going to happen Sunshine.” Brian stated as he got out of the car. But I think you’ll like this alternative.” “I don’t know Brian,” Justin hesitated. “Look at this place. I bet they don’t even allow students in the front door.” “Maybe there’s a ground floor suite, all of you could climb in through the balcony.” Brian suppressed a chuckle at Justin’s eye rolling. It was apparent immediately that the apartment wasn’t going to work for the three students. Even Brian had to admit it. The realtor handed Brian another address. “These just came on the market yesterday. It’s a new loft building. We haven’t even begun to advertise. There are two on the top floor that could work for you and one on the lower floor. Why don’t we drive over and see them?” “How far is it to the University?” Justin asked. “Close enough to walk.” She replied. “In fact the building backs onto the University grounds.” “Now that sounds interesting.” Brian had his arm over Justin’s shoulder. “Come along Sunshine.” “Yes Professor.” Justin quipped back. Both Brian and Justin grinned at each other when they pulled up to the building they had been directed to. It wasn’t a large building, only four floors, but as far as they were concerned it had charm. Inside the industrial looking lobby was an elevator. “Should we check out the upstairs first or the main floor loft?” Justin asked. “Let’s do the main floor since we’re here.” Brian decided. The realtor walked in and agreed with him. She walked over to a large door across from the elevator and unlocked it. Brian followed Justin inside. “Wow” Justin said. “It’s huge.” He walked to the center of the big empty room. “It’s like one huge room with support pillars.” “That’s what lofts are Sunshine, you can make them over however you want to.” “I don’t know how to do stuff like that.” Justin turned around and stared at Brian. “How many square feet?” Brian asked the realtor. “Fifteen hundred.” She replied. “Upstairs we have a corner unit with seventeen hundred square feet and another one identical to this one.” “Let’s look at them.” Brian took Justin’s hand and headed out of the large empty room. Standing inside the corner unit, Brian made his decision. “I’ll put in an offer for this one and the downstairs one. I need the name of a good general contractor. The downstairs unit has to be move in ready in two months.” He turned to Justin. “With fifteen hundred square feet, I don’t think there’ll be a problem putting in three bedrooms. I think maybe we’ll do two bathrooms and a smallish kitchen. Perhaps a laundry area off the kitchen and the rest of the space will be living room. I’ll have my architect look it over and see what he can come up with.” “Brian, I start school next week.” Justin protested. “I know you do Sunshine, but the other two don’t start for two months. You can drive in while the work is being done.” Brian stepped over to where the realtor had walked. His quiet voice calmly gave the woman his requests and he arranged for her to have the necessary paperwork done for him to sign later that day despite the fact it was Sunday. “Brian, we won’t be able to afford this apartment.” Justin began, his brow was furrowed as he worried about what Brian had done. “Sunshine, you let me worry about that.” “But Brian.” Justin looked frustrated. “I thought that you were going to go easy on the ‘buy Justin a new life’ thing.” “Justin, I know that you think this is probably excessive.” “Duh” Brian resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “But I’ve taken on a client here in Phoenix and I’ll be down here fairly often over the next few years. Having a place for myself to stay is going to save me a lot of grief. I hate hotels. The apartment that you and the other two will share does a couple of things for me. One it keeps me happy knowing that you’re safe and for another when you’re ready to move back to Pittsburgh, we can sell it and make a profit.” “We, what do you mean we?” “Well the apartment is going to be in both of our names. After all the building bylaws don’t allow for rentals. You’ll own the place and be renting the Max and Dorian a room. There’s no bylaw that covers that. I asked the realtor as well as made it a subject for the sale of two units. If they want to sell them, they’ll agree.” “You can’t put the damn apartment in my name.” Justin glared at him. “That’s going too far Brian.” “If it makes you feel any better we can have an agreement drawn up that you’ll return your share to me when you’re ready to move out.” “Will that be legal?” Justin asked. “Of course.” Brian pulled him close and kissed his forehead. “Now shut the fuck up. I’m hungry. Do you know anyplace that serves something not greasy?” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Once Justin got used to the idea that he now owned a loft jointly with Brian, he got caught up in the excitement of the renovations that were being made. It was fun to stop in each day after his classes and see the progress that was being made. From: JTKinney@kinnetik.com To: BKinney@kinnetik.com Subject: the LOFT Yes I know I’m shouting Professor, but today Max and I picked out the colors for our bedrooms. Dorian said he didn’t care what color his was, but he’d already picked his the week before and didn’t tell us. What a shit. Hey and the big news is Dorian got the job as the model for Mr. James’ class. Woo hoo, naked Dorian, what if he gets hard while we’re all staring at him. There is NO way I’d that. But the pay is awesome and Dorian figures he might meet some hot guy. Max is doing the whole girly nesting thing with the loft. I have to be really mean sometimes and tell her the landlord won’t allow stuff. I’m glad that I decided not to tell them I own the place with you. That way I can blame the landlord for not wanting pink walls and shit like that. Though in Max’s case it was black walls. I soooo could not live with black walls. I like how the bathrooms worked out. Max has her own and Dorian and I share one. What’s happening upstairs in your place? The contractor said you told him I couldn’t go there. Is that true? And if it is, why? I turned in two projects today. Did I tell you that I miss you? You should come down and visit. I know, I know, you can’t come until the long weekend in September. I still think that sucks. Hey did you buy Gus the game I told you about. It’s supposed to help babies develop their reasoning skills. I figure with you as his dad, he’ll need lots of help in the reasoning department. You’re pretty stubborn. LOL Max is going to start a class with me on Monday. She says she needs something to keep her mind off of the loft. She’s been working on walking and is doing a lot better. Kiss the kid for me. Do you ever tell him about me? I mean it’s not like he’s going to tell anyone. You sure know how to keep secrets. But you can talk to Gus. Maybe someday he’ll even remember the stories and kind of know me if I ever get back to the Pitts. Love and Hugs Justin Brian read the email and smiled. Justin managed to send one every day, though Brian didn’t always answer him each day. The things he wanted to say, were best left unsaid. Maybe he should reconsider and head to Phoenix before Labor Day. “Cynthia” Brian called out. “What’s my schedule for the next week?” “You actually don’t have much scheduled. It is the summer you know Brian. Most of our clients are on vacation. That toy you ordered arrived. Do you want it gift wrapped?” “No I’ll take it over today.” Brian smiled. “I want to see Gus’ face when I give it too him.” Brian was later than he’d wanted to be when he left Kinnetik. He gathered up his briefcase and the package with the beginning computer game that Justin had suggested for Gus. Lindsay and Gus were sitting on the front porch when Brian arrived. “Hey Sonnyboy.” Brian kissed his son on the top of his head. He felt warm and full of love when he’d seen the small boys face light up as he walked toward him. “Hi Brian.” Lindsay said. “I didn’t know you were coming over.” “I’m going on a short vacation, I thought I’d drop off something for Gus before I go.” “You spoil him.” Lindsay admonished. “He’s not spoiled.” Brian picked up his son and tickled his tummy making the boy laugh. “He’s loved.” It was the first time he’d admitted out loud that he loved Gus. It felt good. Brian sat down in his Armani suit on the top porch step. He put Gus on one knee and opened up the parcel. Soon he and Gus were playing with the computer game that had been developed for children Gus’ age. Gus was taken with the game immediately. He caught onto what he was supposed to do and quickly surged ahead. Brian beamed proudly at his son’s prowess, pleased that everything had worked out so well. “Brian, earth to Brian.” Lindsay said after watching for a quarter of an hour. “Where in heaven’s name did you hear about this? I would never have even thought that Gus was ready for something this advanced.” “A friend told me about it. He insisted that Gus would do well.” “Brian, I don’t like you discussing Gus with your tricks.” Lindsay glared at him. “He isn’t a trick.” Brian’s voice was quiet, but the tone of his voice told Lindsay that he was not prepared to discuss it any more. She knew him well enough for that. And Lindsay wondered again if Brian had founds someone to love. And if he was afraid to talk to the family about it for some reason or another. Maybe the guy was ugly, or maybe he was from another country. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin managed to hail a taxi. He couldn’t remember being so drunk. Actually he’d never been drunk before. He giggled. He was going to his own apartment. He and been living there for a week now. Brian was going to shit when he found out how awesome it was. He giggled again. He’d helped Max and Dorian move in today and then Dorian had insisted that they go out for a few drinks with some of his friends. Max had stayed home. Justin laughed to himself. She was such a girl. She wanted to make the place hers. He looked around for Dorian, but couldn’t find him. Dorian must have gotten another taxi. The drive to his new apartment wasn’t long but Justin still found himself almost asleep. He jerked awake when the cab driver shook him. Max had dreamed of one day finding herself alone with Justin so that she could make him clearly aware of her deep feelings for him. She would spend endless hours arranging and rearranging in her mind just how it would come down. It would be such a wonderful experience that he could not help but fall madly in love with her and the two of them would live happily ever after. She smiled to herself and almost realized how ridiculous it all was. That flicker of recognition soon dissipated as her long time fantasy firmly regained control of her every thought. Of course he will fall in love with me…….. So on the evening when Justin returned home late and in an obvious state of intoxication, Max soon realized that this was her opportunity. She quickly checked on her brother Dorian to see if he was asleep in his room. Second goal achieved. Dorian was sound asleep. Max moved quickly to head off Justin before he disappeared inside his room to sleep off the results of his evening on the town. She went up to him and offered her friend a cup of coffee to combat the effects of the alcohol. “Hey Maxie, how are you doing?” Justin’s slurred words only confirmed for Max just how drunk he was. This is going to be easier than I thought she smiled. “Oh Justin, what have you been doing? You’re in terrible shape. Here, sit down on the sofa and I’ll make you a coffee. A really strong coffee,” she laughed. “No coffee, I won’t sleep.” Justin mumbled, but he sat on the sofa. Max was making him dizzy. Quickly heating up some hot water Max made an instant coffee in record time and soon was sitting down beside Justin on the sofa. Even in his inebriated condition Justin was her knight in shining armor. She so loved the deep blue of his eyes, the blond silk of his hair and that radiant smile. “Here drink this Justin, it will sober you up and make your head feel a lot better in the morning.” Justin smiled at his female friend. Max was someone that he trusted and felt a strong bond for. He once had the stray thought that if he were not gay then Max was the kind of girl that he could go for. She was extremely cute with her dark brown curly hair and deep brown eyes. Her laugh was contagious as it echoed around their shared apartment each day and she made him feel good just being his friend. “Max have I ever mentioned how beautiful you are?” he managed to say, though the words were slightly slurred. “Oh Justin you’re so drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying. I am hardly beautiful and the falling on my face thing sure isn’t attractive.” “Oh but you are Maxie, you’re really beautiful.” Justin said his voice serious. “And the falling down thing, well we’re working on that aren’t we.” With that statement Justin leaned over toward his friend and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Max’s temperature shot up several degrees as his lips touched her skin. The swelling rush she felt spread quickly throughout her body and left her in a state of arousal. Without a further thought Max returned the kiss only her aim was directly for those red pouting lips that she had so long desired. Justin’s first instinctive reaction was to quickly withdraw but he did not want to upset his friend and besides it did feel slightly pleasant to him in his disorientated state of mind. Oh God Max thought, I am actually kissing him and he is kissing me back……oh my God. Her body was now reacting on autopilot. Feelings of desire that were long suppressed were suddenly unleashed. She moved in to close the distance between them while at the same time her hands were all over Justin’s body. He too was now acting only on instinct. Her attention combined with the effects of too much alcohol had set him on a course that could only end in a sexual liaison, whether he wanted it or not. He felt like he was floating on the ceiling and watching what was unfolding from there, like a badly directed movie. Their kissing now became more heated as tongues touched and danced around each other. She started to remove his clothing and when he mildly protested she reassured him it was only to prepare him to go to bed. It was when she in turn removed her clothing that even in his drunken stupor Justin realized that something more than preparing him for bed was expected. Max now lay close to him on the bed. Justin didn’t remember leaving the sofa. Her fingers traced the nipples on his chest. She couldn’t help but notice that he was fully erect. It was the first time Max had ever seen a male organ in an erect state and she was at once in awe as well as feeling a tingle of fear. After all there would soon be no going back to their former relationship. But she also knew she had lived for this moment for so very long. Her hand tentatively brushed against his hardness. When Justin did not react she became less timid and began to stroke him. Soon unable to contain his sexual desire Justin motioned to Max to bend over and as she did so he slipped his hardness past her protective hymen and gently entered deep inside her. Her female juices were flowing so freely that he was able to begin the act of lovemaking that had so long been her desire. Max wondered if this was ‘doggy’ style and decided she actually liked it. “Oh Justin please do it…please make love to me.” Her words barely registered as he began to thrust it an action very familiar to him but certainly not in the context of heterosexual activity. But he was young and very aroused and it really did feel quite pleasant although nothing like making love to his one true passion, Brian. Somehow, it was like he was topping the man he loved and he wondered when Brian’s body had become so soft and why he was so wet. Soon his now frantic pumping had served to put Max in a world of pure pleasure that she had only dreamed about. She felt so free, so at one with all the goodness that was in her world. She was a woman now and the orgasmic pleasure that was crashing throughout her euphoric body was almost more than she could stand. She so loved this golden boy and in her mind she would never let him go. “Justin, Juuuustin.” She moaned as the orgasm rippled through her body. “Hearing Max’s voice instead of Brian’s, Justin sobered immediately. “Oh my God Max I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I am so sorry.” Justin pulled back horrified at what he’d done. He was even more horrified when he realized that he hadn’t worn a condom. Brian was going to kill him. Fuck, Dorian was going to kill him. “Max, go have a bath, I didn’t have a condom on. Fuck Max, what if you’re pregnant.” Max felt even more love for him now. “Justin you don’t have to apologize to me. I wanted this more than anything else in the world. And even if you don’t feel the same as I do, I want you to know that I love you and have wanted to do this forever.” But she got up off of her knees and drifted toward her bathroom. She was in love and had finally gotten what she’d wanted for months. Justin sat on the floor, his pants around his ankles, his cock sticky from Max. All he could think of was that his friendship with Max was over forever and Brian was going to be so pissed. He didn’t notice the tears that filled his eyes or the fact that they had begun to trace their way down his face. He’d really done it. He’d disappointed the one man he had never wanted to disappoint, Brian. It was then that the memories of his father’s rage filled his brain until he thought it might explode. He saw the disappointment in his eyes and then he saw his father’s eyes fill with disgust and anger. He turned to his mother; she shook her head and wouldn’t look at him. His father walked up and slapped him across the face, once, twice, and then started to hit him until he took him by the back of his shirt and threw him out of the house. The house he’d grown up in. The house that was the only home he’d ever lived in. The pain when he’d hit his head blinded him in a red light. Justin turned and buried his head on the sofa cushions, his cry was heart breaking. He’d fucked up again. His life was just becoming perfect and he’d fucked up again. Brian approached the door to Justin’s apartment. He put his key in the lock and pulled the door open. Immediately he knew something was wrong. The lights were low. He could smell sex in the air and could hear Justin was sobbing. Off in the distance he could hear water running, lavender drifted down the hall. Brian’s blood ran cold. Something had happened to Justin. He dropped his bag and ran over to the boy. Brian dropped to his knees, taking in the disarray of Justin’s clothing and the reek of alcohol. “Justin, what the fuck happened. Are you okay?” he pulled Justin into his arms. But Justin tried to pull away. Brian held him fast. “Brian? Brian?” Justin said and turned his tear stained face toward the man he loved. “Brian, I fucked up, I really fucked up. I’m sorry, I’m sorry” and he started to cry again. “You were right, you’re always right and I didn’t listen. I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again.” “Justin I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.” Brian pulled the teen to his feet and then reached down and pulled his pants up. It was apparent from the smell and the condition of the boy’s cock, he’d had sex. Not to mention that it looked like he might have blood on him. As soon as the fact that Justin’s cock had blood on it registered in Brian’s brain, he knew what had happened. Somehow Max had managed to get Justin to fuck her. He resisted the urge to scream. He knew from personal experience how devastating it was to be chastised when you knew damn well you’d did no wrong. His father had done it often enough to him with his voice and his fists. Instead of reacting like his father would have, Brian scooped Justin up and carried him to the bedroom. He undressed him and then took him into the bathroom where he ran the shower and then helped Justin inside, slowly and gently washing him all over. Neither of them spoke, Justin was too embarrassed and ashamed. Brian because he wasn’t sure what to say. Tomorrow would be time enough to confront both Max and Justin. Fuck, loving someone sure was a lot of work Brian thought to himself as he dried off himself and Justin. And then held him after Justin suddenly emptied his stomach of its contents heaving until Brian was sure he’d never stop. Justin climbed into bed while Brian retrieved his suitcase and made sure the door was locked. He turned off the lights and then moved into the silence of Justin’s room. “Have you ever noticed that the shadows cast by the moonlight are darker than the sun?” Brian asked the unmoving form of the young man he loved. Justin didn’t answer, but then Brian hadn’t expected him too. He got into what was becoming ‘his’ side of the bed. The space between him and Justin was wide. “Come here.” He said his voice gruff. Justin didn’t move and then he was in Brian’s arms pressed so tightly to Brian that the older man could barely catch his breath. The silence of the night crashed around them both. Brian held onto Justin and gradually Justin relaxed into a troubled sleep. Brian stared up at the ceiling, his mind unable to shut down, guarding the young man in his arms. tbc