Your Forever Man - 3
Author: Elsa Rose Bryant
Based on Phil and Mike’s song - track 3 of their album Uh Oh
(see link on authors page to Amazon to purchase the CD) 
“Brian we’re leaving now.” Jennifer put her arm on Brian’s to get his attention. He was staring out the big window of the apartment he was renting. Staring at the snow covered slope where Justin had disappeared six weeks before.

“Have a good flight.” Brian said absently.

“I understand why you didn’t attend the memorial, but I’m not sure that Gus understands. You need to talk to him.” Jennifer was referring to the memorial service that had been held at the lake near the spot Justin had disappeared.

“Why should I attend a mockery of something that didn’t happen?” Brian’s voice was bitter. “Justin isn’t dead. He’s missing, why can’t you all understand that.”

“Brian, I’m his mother. I want him to be alive as much as you do. But there are times when you have to face reality. If Justin was alive we’d know by now. No one can survive the freezing water of that lake.”

“Grandma Jenn, we’re ready.” It was Gus at the door. Everyone who had flown in from Pittsburgh was returning. Michael had rented a van to take them all to the airport in Vancouver. 

Jennifer patted Brian’s arm again and then leaned up and kissed him. “Brian you’re part of my family. You come over to the house when you get back to Pittsburgh. We’ll talk then.” 

Brian bent down and returned her kiss. “Later Jennifer.” He said softly before turning back to the window. 

He’d tried weeks ago to hike around the lake and follow the river that led off from it. But the deep snow and craggy terrain had driven him back, time and time again. He had to wait until spring there was no denying that fact. And a hard heartbreaking fact it was.

“Dad, are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Gus asked.

“No, you know how Justin feels about you missing school. You’ve missed enough. He’ll expect your grades to be what they always are when he gets back.”

“I know dad.” Gus sighed. “Dad for what it’s worth I think maybe he’s alive out there somewhere too. I dream about him. I know it sounds dumb, but I dream about him. He’s in a cabin, maybe one of those ones that the ski patrol has. You know that kind. They have them everywhere on these mountains for lost hikers and stuff.”

“I dream about him too.” Brian’s words were almost a whisper they were so soft. “I see him in my dreams and whenever I shut my eyes.”

“You’ll find Pops dad. I know you will.”

“Your Aunt Molly is going to stay at the house with you.” Brian said to his son. 

“Dad, she’s just Molly. I feel weird calling her aunt Molly.” Gus laughed. It was an old argument and more a teasing family thing than anything real. “She’s almost the same age as I am.”

“I think there is eight years difference.” Brian smiled at his son keeping the tone of the pseudo argument. 

“See, the same age.” Gus kissed his father. “I want you to call as soon as you find Pops. None of this keeping him to yourself for a month.”

“I’ll call and then I’ll keep him to myself.” Brian smiled. “I wish this fucking snow would disappear so I can get going.”

“Mr. Wexler said that the snow pack has settled enough that you guys can maybe try it again next week. He’s been getting the snowmobiles ready and Harry and Georgie can get time off of school.” 

“I’m not taking the two boys. I’ve already discussed this.” Brian turned back to the window. “I’m thinking of taking a river raft down that river. Just to see if we can find any sign of where he could have landed.”

“The river is too fast for that Dad. It’s too dangerous that’s what Mr. Wexler said. The rocks are too sharp and could puncture the raft.” Gus sighed. “Dad, I can’t lose you too. I just can’t.”

Brian enveloped his son in a hug. “I’m not going to get lost Sonny Boy. Don’t worry about me. But you know I have to find Justin. I have this feeling that he’s needing me more than ever right now. And I just can’t shake that feeling.” 

“Try the snowmobiles first would you? If they don’t work out then do the river raft thing. Mr. Wexler knows a river guide who will take you down. But he’s in Yale. He wants to use his own inflatable boat. Not something you’d get in Vancouver.”

“I know Gus. I’ve been talking to him.” Brian smiled at his son. “Let me look after this search. I’m not going to endanger myself any more than I have to. But I do have to find Justin and soon.”

“Okay dad. I’ll shut up.” Gus kissed his father’s cheek. “I’ll be waiting for your call.” 

“Let me know when you get back to Pittsburgh. And Gus, thank Mikey and the gang for me will you. I just don’t want to talk to them right now. You understand don’t you?” 

“Yeah, I understand. They probably do too. Well maybe Uncle Mikey doesn’t but the rest of them will.” Gus turned and left the room before he said anything more. He didn’t want his father to know that his Aunt Daphne was staying behind. She was just as stubborn as his father and was as determined to find Justin. Her husband Jamie kind of understood and he’d had a long talk with Gus the night before about loyalties and trusting your feelings and things. Gus already knew all the stuff Jamie told him, but let him ramble on. He knew the other man needed someone to talk to and the least Gus could do was listen.

Brian heard the front door open and close. The apartment he’d rented when the short term lease for the chalet had run out was one that had access directly outside each unit. It didn’t offer him the privacy he liked, but it was better than nothing since this was the high season for the Blackcomb mountain area. He heard everyone talking as they loaded the van and then the sound of the vehicle as it backed out of the driveway and headed to Vancouver airport.

Finally he was able to relax. Brian could smell freshly brewed coffee. He turned around and said. “You might as well bring me a coffee. I knew you wouldn’t leave so stop hiding out. You can take the other bedroom.”

“I already have.” Daphne walked into the room with two mugs of coffee. “I talked to Aaron from Fraser River Rafting. He can have his smaller raft here tomorrow. He figures we can pack enough supplies to get us down the river to the bay it empties out in. His wife will meet us there. He’ll bring all the survival gear we’ll need. He wants you to know that it’s going to be a rough ride. The snow melt hasn’t happened yet and the river will be low. That means more rapids than normal and there’s a danger of snagged logs.”

“So?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said too.” Daphne took a sip of the coffee and so did Brian.

“You put Beam in the coffee?” Brian laughed. “Daphne you’re turning into a lush.”

“I needed it. You could hide out up here. I had to deal with all the shit they were dishing out for the last week.”

“Sorry about that.” Brian shrugged. “They mean well, they just don’t understand about the connection I have to Justin. If he was dead, I’d know it.” 

“I understand. That’s why I’m here.” Daphne moved to stare out the window. “He’ll be waiting for you where ever he is.”

“He always does.” Brian smiled. “I’m his forever man after all.” 

“Riiiight.” Daphne drawled in perfect imitation of Brian’s drawl. “If we do some office work this afternoon and tomorrow, we can leave first thing Tuesday morning. I’ve ordered the supplies Aaron asked me to get. They’ll be ready to pick up tomorrow afternoon.”

“Good.” Brian gave her a quick hug with one arm. “I’m glad you stayed.” He said softly.

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“Justin, my leg is cramping. I have to move.” 

“Sorry Hanna. I can finish it now.” Justin smiled at his very bulky friend. He had been sketching her as she sat on a stool near the wood stove stirring their soup.

Hanna got up and stretched, her belly looked huge to Justin. He was fascinated by the movement the baby made and would spend as long as Hanna let him with his hand on her tummy feeling the baby kick.

“If we ever see civilization again, you’ll be immortalized forever on the walls of a gallery.” Justin grinned at her.

“Thanks a bunch.” She shook out her blond hair that had been tied back in a pony tail. “I don’t think this baby is ever coming out.” It was a familiar complaint voiced often in the small cabin.

“I’m almost out of paper.” Justin stared at the pad of writing paper he’d been using as a sketch book.

“Well you can’t have any out of my journal.” Hanna began to pace the length of the cabin and back. “Fuck my back is aching today.”

“I’ll rub it for you.” Justin offered.

“You still can’t have any of my journal paper.” Hanna had kept a journal from the first day her and Nils had decided to homestead. It was precious to her as she could relive the days that she’d been happy with her husband and best friend.

“I don’t want your journal paper.” Justin laughed. “We’ll be rescued soon.” 

“Ahhhh, using your magic looking glass?” Hanna teased. She was standing beside Justin now and rubbed the small of her back, easing out the tightness.

“No, it’s just a feeling I have. Brian would never let it go. He’d have to find me even if it was my body. He’s looking.” Justin had regained his memory almost completely a few weeks before. He’d a vision of Brian wading through deep snow and becoming lost before finally turning back to the safety of the mountain village. It was the fear that Brian would be lost that jogged his memory. Everything came flooding back including the terrifying fall into the cold lake. 

“Your Brian sounds like he’s a real super hero.” Hanna loved Justin’s stories of Rage and Zephyr and JT. She’d written them all down in her journal insisting that someday they would be published. And that the comic Rage would be resurrected. 

“He’s my super hero.” Justin grinned at her. “But I wish he’d hurry up and get here. I’m sick and tired of the cold and Signe will be here any minute.” Justin patted her belly. They’d taken to calling the baby Signe which meant victorious sign. 

“Signe will wait.” Hanna smiled softly. “I hope she will. Justin, if anything happens to me, make sure that you take my journal to the authorities. I want them to know how Nils died and I want them to know that I want you to be Signe’s guardian.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you.” Justin reassured her. “You are strong and healthy. The baby will come out just like her mother.”

“What if the baby is a boy, he’s going to hate being called a girl’s name.” she giggled. 

“It’ll make him tougher.” Justin laughed. “We can always call him after his father. Signe can be his middle name.” 

“We need more wood for the stove. I’ll go outside with you. I need the air.”

“Nobody needs this cold air.” Justin laughed. He found the coat he had been using. Hanna had shortened the sleeves, but it was still much too big for him. He grinned when he thought of Brian’s reaction to the clothes he’d been wearing. Brian was such a perfectionist when it came to his clothing. “You know, when I’m back in Pittsburgh, I’m never going to chop firewood again. It’ll be gas fireplaces for me forever.”

“Wood stoves do lose their charm after the first cord of wood.” Hanna admitted. “But think of the muscles you’re building. Your Brian will be impressed.” 

Justin pretended to flex his arms and then laughed. It was either laugh or cry. If someone didn’t find them soon, large muscles would be the least of it. Their food supply was almost at the end. Apparently Nils had planned on hunting to supplement what they had in canned goods. Justin just couldn’t see himself killing something, much less eating it. “Come on then. I don’t want the fire to go out. It was a bitch to start it again.”

“Sorry.” Hanna smiled. It had been her fault the fire had died down to nothing. She’d forgotten to bank it before bed a week ago and they had awakened to a frozen cabin. Justin had been sure that he’d still had ice in his veins from his cold water trek. The cold affected him quickly these days. 

“You and Signe can come back to Pittsburgh with Brian and I. Brian will find you a place to live and help you get a job. I don’t want to ever think about going out in the woods in the winter ever again.”

“I’d like that” Hanna said. She sat on a large piece of wood pulling the heavy wool shawl that covered her jacket, tightly around her. It was her favorite spot to watch Justin work and before that she’d watched Nils. Always blonds she thought and smiled to herself. She knew Signe would love her Uncle Justin. He was a kind man. It was too bad he was gay. She might have been able to love him.

Justin split enough wood to last them a couple of days. He eyed up the pile that was left. It wouldn’t last the month. He was going to have to cut down a tree or something. He wasn’t looking forward to it. “I’ll carry the wood inside, you should go in and get warm.”

“I can help.” 

“I don’t think so. You can’t even bend over without falling on your nose.” He teased. 

“Justin listen.” Hanna stopped moving and turned toward the river path. “I hear something.”

“I don’t hear anything. Well I hear the river.” Justin walked a few steps closer to the river path. 

“I hear a motor.” She stood suddenly and then grabbed her belly. “Fuck Justin, it hurts.”

“What?” Justin turned quickly forgetting the sounds from the river.

“The baby, I think the baby is coming.” Hanna managed to gasp.

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Brian sat on one side of the raft, Daphne on the other. Aaron was at the rear monitoring the motor and keeping the raft on course and away from the worst of the rocks and wood snags. They all kept watch on the side of the river for any signs of humanity. So far all they’d seen were animal trails leading down from the thick forest. 

The river flowed quickly and the motor was more for keeping the raft from traveling too quickly than moving the river raft forward. Brian was amazed at how far they’d traveled and how quickly. He wasn’t sure that Justin would have gotten this far and he was about to ask about back tracking when Daphne gave a shout. 
“There’s smoke ahead. I see smoke.” She pointed to the right and sure enough further down the river and in a hundred yards or so was smoke rising from a chimney. 

“Don’t lean so far over Daphne; I don’t want to test this survival gear out.” Aaron shouted from the rear of the boat. He adjusted the motor and moved as close as he could to the bank of the river. At least the current wasn’t as bad in this section and the rapids were few.

“I see a clearing and a pathway into the woods.” Brian shouted. “JUSTIN, JUSTIN, JUUUUSSSSTTTTIIIIN.” 

“Brian hold on. That clearing’s been there for longer than Justin would have been.” Aaron hated to tell his new friend this kind of news, but he didn’t want to get the other man’s hopes up.

“Pull up to that clear spot.” Brian pointed to a flat area near the opening in the forest.

“I’m trying but the river isn’t cooperating.” Aaron was doing his best to fight the current to move across the width of the river. 

“Try harder or I’m going over the side.” Brian leaned forward as far as he could. “I know Justin is in there. I can feel him.”

“Brian, frankly this is too far down the river for Justin to have survived. That is assuming he was part of the lake current that took him in this direction.” 

“Justin survived.” Brian said, his eyes trained on the clearing that was getting closer and closer. His eyes were suddenly drawn to Justin’s jacket that had been tied to the branch of a tree near the path. Brian’s grin rivaled the best of his Sunshine’s when the realization of what the jacket meant sunk in.

The inflatable boat caught on something as the water became shallower close to the shore. Brian looked at Aaron and then jumped into the waist high water. He stumbled under the freezing onslaught and then slowly and surely made his way to shore pulling the boat behind him until he could reach the first tree and wind the heavy rope around it. Not waiting for Daphne or Aaron, Brian began to sprint up the slippery path until he disappeared into the woods only to come out in a clearing that held a small cabin. Justin was helping a woman who was panting and bent over. They were making their way to the cabin.

“Hurry up Brian and help me. Hanna’s in labor and something’s wrong.” Justin shouted. His eyes were worried for his friend but were alight with joy at Brian’s appearance.

“Fuck Sunshine, I can’t believe you’re here.” Brian said and ran over. He took Hanna’s other arm giving Justin a quick kiss while they helped her inside. “Daphne is here too and Aaron the rafting guide.”

“The more the merrier. I hope you guys brought food. We’re damn near out.”

“We brought food and we brought a radio. We should be able to radio for help.”

“Thank you God.” Justin said. “Help her up on the bed.” The two men lifted Hanna onto the bed. It was then they saw the blood that had soaked through her heavy woolen pants. “Fuck Hanna, you’re bleeding.” Justin was pale. 

“Signe, she’s quiet, why is my baby quiet Justin?” Hanna asked and then grimaced in pain.

“She’s saving her strength to make a grand entrance into the world Hanna. Remember, we read about that in your book.” Justin smoothed back her hair. “Brian, can you get Daphne and if there’s any way of getting in contact with a doctor, now is the time to do it.” 

Brian stood for moment and watched Justin strip the blood sodden pants from the pregnant woman and then turned to hurry Daphne up to the cabin. 

The next three hours were a blur to everyone, everyone except Justin who thought time had stood still as he watched his friend suffer the agony of childbirth as her life blood slowly slipped out of her. None of those present had more than rudimentary first aid skills. The doctor that had finally been contacted via the radio was helpless to do much other than offer encouragement and guide them blindly as they delivered Signe Neilson into the world. 

A medical helicopter had been dispatched but the chances that it would get there to help was slim. Hanna cradled her baby against her breast as Justin supported the child because Hanna was far too weak to hold her. “I’m dying my baby. Your daddy hashad come to get me. She looked to the far corner of the room and smiled in recognition. “Justin, you have my journals. I’m giving Signe into your care. Please tell her of her mother and her father. I know you and your Brian will give her a good life filled with love.” 

“Hanna, hang in there. There helicopter with the doctor is on its way. You can hang on for a few more minutes can’t you?” Justin pleaded with the dying woman. 

“Justin, I’ve made a sort of will. It’s in my journal. If you can, keep this land for Signe. She may want it someday.” Hanna looked at Brian who stood behind Justin, his hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Brian, I’ve heard so much about you I feel I know you. Never once did Justin waver in his belief that you would find him. I’m sorry that my gift to him will impact your life. But Signe is alone in this world and I promised her that she wouldn’t have to grow up as her father and I did. Justin will explain and of course so will my journal.” Her last words were barely heard by Justin and Brian. Justin picked up the baby and held her close. Hanna smiled up at Brian, Justin and the baby. She closed her eyes and died, content that Justin would care for her child. 

Justin couldn’t believe that she was dead. He looked up at Brian, his eyes questioning. “She’s gone Justin.” Brian said softly. The sound of a helicopter filled the air around the cabin as it landed. It was too late to help Hanna, but not too late to care for Signe. 

“She can’t be Brian. She’s just unconscious.” Justin stroked his friend’s hand. Already the heat was leaving it. He adjusted the blanket over her to warm her. Justin hadn’t even noticed that Brian had taken the baby from him and handed her to Daphne who began to clean her off, swaddling her in a small soft quilt. 

The paramedics rushed in and took over with Hanna. Justin couldn’t take his eyes off of what was happening until Brian led him to the far side of the cabin.
Signe began to cry and Daphne handed her to Justin. “She wants her daddy.” Daphne said. 

“I’m not her father Daphne.” Justin looked down at the blonde fuzz that haloed the baby's head. Sapphire blue eyes stared into his as tiny pursed lips made sucking motions. “She’s looking for something to eat.”

“The paramedics will take care of her.” Daphne assured him.

“I don’t want them to take her away. She’s my responsibility.” Justin held the baby close.

Brian moved his arm so that it was around Justin’s shoulder. “Justin, they just want to check her over. They aren’t taking her away from you.” 

“But Brian, I know there’s going to be trouble about her. I just know it.”

“That’s what lawyers are for Sunshine. And we have some good ones on retainer. As soon as we’re out of this god forsaken hole, I’ll start them working on our daughter’s case.” Brian looked at the paramedic who stood there waiting for the baby. “Her name is Signe Kinney. Justin and I are her parents now. We’ll be going with you to the hospital.”

“I’m sorry sir but I don’t think….” The paramedic looked into Brian’s eyes and whatever he saw there told him that Brian and Justin would be traveling with the baby. 

It was arranged with Daphne and Aaron to pack up all of the personal possessions of Hanna and Nils. Aaron’s company would see to it that they were transported to Vancouver and to the hotel that Brian and Justin would be staying in. Justin took the journal and handed it to Brian. “We’ll need this to prove what happened. I haven’t read it yet, but Hanna wrote in it every day. I’m sure she’ll set the authorities straight about our rights to the baby.”

“I’ll give it to the lawyers.” Brian leaned down and kissed Justin. His touch was gentle. There was so much they had to tell one another but until they were alone, it would have to wait. Everyone stood back while Hanna was placed in a body bag. Justin and Brian stood together, Justin holding Signe. He didn’t say anything, just watched his friend disappear into the black bag. He watched them take the blood soaked bedding and put it in another bag. He knew that they would need to prove why she’d died. 

Brian had been busy on the radio as the helicopter flew to Vancouver. He’d arranged for a lawyer to meet them regarding Signe’s custody. And hotel accommodations near the hospital where Signe would be taken. Brian didn’t expect that Justin would leave the baby there alone and he was right.

The next twenty four hours disappeared in a blur. Daphne arrived at the hotel and took over calling all the friends and family in Pittsburgh. Brian arranged flights for everyone. He knew that they would be spending time in Vancouver until the custody of Signe could be proven through the courts. 

The coroner ruled that Hanna’s death and that of her husband Nils was not foul play. Daphne and Jennifer arranged for a service for the two of them and had them cremated. Justin wanted to take their ashes to Pittsburgh and have them interred there for the sake of Signe. The only way that Justin would leave Signe so that he could attend the service was for Brian to stay with her. But at the last minute the court agreed to let the baby remain in their custody while things were sorted out legally. So everyone including the baby attended the funeral.

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It was midnight. Lights from the city filtered through the closed drapes. Signe’s soft breathing could be heard on the baby monitor. She was sleeping in a portable crib in the other room. Justin had fallen asleep fully dressed across the width of the bed and Brian stood at the end of the bed watching him. As he watched, Brian’s knees slowly gave way and he sank to the floor. For the first time since he’d found his husband, they were alone. Nothing was happening. No more excitement. The family had arrived; the baby was healthy and sleeping peacefully and Justin, Justin had collapsed in exhaustion, both mentally and physically on the bed. But he was safe. He was here in the same room. And he was alive. Brian hunched on the floor, his knees to his chest. He couldn’t stop looking at Justin and he couldn’t stop the tears that fell unheeded to his lap as he cried silently in the shadows of the room. 

Justin’s eyes opened. He looked up at the ceiling of the hotel room taking a moment to orient himself as to where he was. He could feel Brian’s presence in the room, but he wasn’t on the bed with him. Justin could distinguish the sound of Signe breathing and then, then he heard a sound he’d never really heard before. The quiet sobs of the man he loved. Justin got up in one smooth move. He was in better physical shape than he’d ever been. Dancing in Babylon was one thing. Surviving hell in the cold winter of Canada was quite another. 

Justin fell to his knees on the floor and pulled Brian to him. “Hey big guy.” He whispered and kissed away Brian’s tears. “I love you. I’m sorry I was so hard to find. I would have come back to you if I could. But with Hanna alone and everything, I just couldn’t do it. I knew you’d find me. I dreamed about you every night. Remember when you told me I’d see you in my dreams?” Justin chuckled and kissed Brian’s forehead. “I do. I see you every night in my dreams. I always have.”

“Justin, I….. “ Brian shook his head as if to clear it. “It’s been a bitch since you got on that plane. I couldn’t ever give up the belief that you were alive. I couldn’t because I knew that if you weren’t alive then I’d be dead too and Gus needed me. Ever since I found you, it’s been one thing after another. Fuck we have a new baby. Do you know how old I am? Shit she’ll be a teenager and I’ll be an old geezer.”

“Brian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring this all down on you.” 

“Fuck Justin, in the grand scheme of things what does it matter. We have the money and time to care for her. We’d never be able to sleep if we let her go into foster care. I know that.” He sighed. “I’m just using her as an excuse for being a jerk. Justin I thought I’d lost you.” He put his head on Justin’s shoulder and let his husband comfort him.

“Come on to bed Brian. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt you inside of me. And with any luck at all Signe will sleep through our reunion.” 

Brian laughed quietly. “I kind of feel like it’s the first time, only this time, I’m the virgin.” 

“Hmmmm, Brian Kinney, virgin. Come with me young man. I’m going to have my way with you.” Justin stood up, his smile full of teasing promise. He held out his hand. “Come to bed husband. I have a story to tell you about how I managed to survive my lake and river trip and then I’m going to make love to you all night long. Or until Signe wakes up.”

“Will it have a happy ending?” Brian smiled, his tears forgotten. Justin always had brought out the best in him. 

“Are you happy now?” Justin asked.

“Very much so.”

“Then yes, it does have a happy ending.” He began to remove his clothes. “You have to be naked and under the covers. That’s the rules of bedtime story telling.”

“Odd, I never knew that.” Brian grinned and began to remove his own clothes. “If you don’t mind Sunshine, the bedtime story can wait. This is the first time we’ve really been alone in weeks and I have to make love to you. I have to know if you’re real or a dream.” He kissed Justin, at first tenderly, his lips barely touching the other man’s. But the kiss soon became hungry with a long missed passion. Each man trying their best to devour and taste every missed bit of the other. Brian traced Justin’s body with his kisses. Taking in the hardened muscle where a softer body had been previously. He was right, it was like making love to a different person, yet the same. 

Neither one could last long. It had been awhile for them both and when they came in sweaty thrusting and whispered words of passion, they both felt satisfied for the moment. Once they had rested, it would be time for another round. This time slower with more time to rediscover every inch of their bodies.

“You were going to tell me a story Sunshine?” Brian asked. He had Justin cradled in his arm, held tight to his body. It was something he’d missed more than anything, having his husband wrapped around him. It was funny, the first time it had happened more than sixteen years before, he’d loved it. But at that time he’d been too damn stubborn to admit it. Now he’d do anything to have the smaller man wrap him up in a tangle of arms and legs.

“It was kind of weird. It was almost like I was watching this bizarre reality show take place in slow motion. I saw the mountain break away and Gus and the boys were in its path. I went into automatic and skied for Gus. I knew I couldn’t make it to all of them and I couldn’t be heard over the roar of the snow. Fuck Brian it moved fast. I reached Gus and picked him up and threw him under a bunch of overhanging rocks. I wasn’t sure if it was enough to protect him, but I had to try. I think I hurt him, I felt his shoulder give as he left my hands. After that I more or less surfed the avalanche. I fucking couldn’t believe it when I was dropping over the cliff. How ski jumpers do it, I don’t know, but I tried to imitate what I’d seen them do. The whole time I was thinking ‘fuck Brian is going to be so pissed about this’.”

“And you were right.” Brian shuddered at what Justin was telling him. But he knew that his husband had to talk about it. If nothing else, he’d learned that much after the Prom debacle. 

“I hit the ice of the river and damned if I didn’t just go right on through. I think somehow my jacket caught. I was kind of thrown off balance and later, when I was at the cabin, I realized I’d lost a sleeve. From what Hanna and I figured from that point, I was caught in the fast current from the lake. That part I’m not sure of except I kept hearing you telling me to swim with the current. I’m not even sure why the cold didn’t get to me, but when I asked the paramedics they said that a combination of adrenaline and the tight ski clothes which acted like a wet suit, probably helped. Though I did end up with some hypothermia. I hit a log about then. You should have seen the bruise. I wasn’t really capable of doing anything and I actually thought that this was the end. But my bracelet grabbed a hold of a piece of the log taking me with it as it shot down the river. What a wild ride. Talk about rodeo style only wet. I didn’t know if I’d ever survive that but the log snagged again and Hanna found me. I have to tell you it was touch and go for about a week. I ended up with a cold and flu that was the worst I’d ever had. I also kind of hit my head and for awhile I didn’t remember who I was, but I kept having flashes of you. I think those flashes kept me from losing things all together. I knew that somewhere you were looking for me.”

“I never stopped looking for you Justin. It damn near drove me nuts when the weather didn’t cooperate.” 

“Yeah, Gus told me.” Justin sighed. “Brian, this Christmas job and vacation thing really sucked.”

“The master of the understatement.” Brian replied as he caressed Justin’s face. “I don’t want to think about it anymore.” 

“I don’t either. I guess my client will have to find someone else for the project. There isn’t a chance in hell that I’m going back there.” Justin sighed. “I wasn’t planning on becoming a father either.” 

“Well I can’t say it was high on my list.” Brian chuckled. “I mean Gus is almost ready for University and now we have a baby.”

“Yeah, now we have a baby.” Justin smiled. “You know, she looks a lot like me.” 

“She’s blonde, that’s all.” Brian laughed. “But I’m sure she’ll be wonderful. I’m not sure how Gus is going to feel about it. He’s used to being the only kid at our place. “

“I wonder if he baby sits?” Justin joked. He let his fingers trace down Brian’s belly, finding the hardening cock that was his goal, rewarded with a hiss of pleasure from his husband. 

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Six months later found the family back in Pittsburgh and settled in as if they’d never left. Signe’s parental custody had been granted with little problem to Justin and Brian. Jennifer was thrilled to be a grandma again and Debbie flushed with pleasure when Brian called her grandma Debbie. 

The biggest problem, if it could be called a problem, was having Signe to themselves. The little baby had won everyone’s hearts in the strange grouping that made up their family. Gus looked like he’d burst with pleasure when he’d strap on the baby carrier and walk his little sister up and down Liberty Avenue. 

Lindsay and Melanie vied for child minding privileges. Jenny battled Gus for Signe’s attention. All in all she was adored by everyone.

Brian had taken to the baby immediately, pouring out the fatherly love for her that he’d been afraid to with Gus. Each achievement she made was an occasion for celebration. Justin spent hours sketching father and daughter. It was a time for all of them to grow as a family.

“Hey,” Brian was sitting on the floor with Signe, the two of them playing with some brightly colored learning toy that he’d discovered earlier that day. “Do you think she’s going to mind that I’m going to be older than most of the other parents?” 

“What’s to not like? You’ll be the hottest dad at the PTA.” Justin teased and handed him a bottle of beer and Signe a sippy cup with a half inch of juice. Brian loved to watch her using the cup with both her hands on the handles. She was so proud of her accomplishment and so was Brian. From the long lankiness of the child, she was going to be as tall as Brian. Her hair was now an inch of fluffy white gold curls. Justin took a spot on the floor with his family. “You know, when the book was published I thought that we’d reached kind of the peak of our relationship. I was wrong. It just keeps getting more interesting.”

“And much, much better.” Brian added.

“Da” Signe said to the two men who beamed in pleasure back at their daughter.
Apparently Signe agreed with them.

March 26, 2005 - complete