A special thank you to Lizzie for making sure I stayed on the right track for this chapter, and she also BETA'D it for me. Thank you very much.
Justin's Dream POV: (Flash Back) It had been a month and a half after that fateful night that Mark had reappeared in Justin's life. Early in the day, Justin and Ben had attended the sentencing of Mark. "I can't believe they only gave him six months. This is such bullshit!" Justin exclaimed in a drunken slur. "I know Jus, I really can't believe it myself..." Ben slurred. They had been drinking since they got home from the sentencing, and that was at two it was now ten in the evening. "It's because we're gay! They don't give a fuck about us! They would prefer it if we were all dead!" Justin was so drunk, and his emotions were on over drive. Ben scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around him holding him close to try to take some of the pain away. "I know Jus, I know...” he heard Justin start to cry and held on a little tighter. "I'm sorry. It'll be ok." He just kept repeating for a minute. Justin looked up into Ben's eyes and without thinking Justin leaned up and kissed Ben softly at first until suddenly they were both in such passion and desperately grasping at each other. Ben bent down and began kissing along Justin's neck and shoulder, Justin gasped and moaned from the contact. They were on the floor tearing each other’s clothes off, Ben produced a condom and lube out of his pocket and had it on his dick in no time, barely being able to control just slamming into Justin, as he opened him up for his entrance. Finally having Justin's hole relaxed around his fingers, he slowly withdrew them and replaced them with his cock. Then as gently as he could, he started to push forward, watching Justin's face for any and all sign's of pain and as he pushed forward he would stop every time he thought Justin might be in pain. When Ben was, finally all the way inside Justin he stopped and ran his hands through Justin's hair. When he looked into Justin's deep blue eyes, he saw such trust and need in them. He leaned in and touched his lips to Justin's and as they kissed, he started to slowly and tenderly make love to him... I clung to Ben as if he was a lifeline I wrapped myself around him so tightly that I know he could barely move. He felt so good inside me and it was so tender and loving that I lost myself in his touch. We didn't speak, the only sounds were soft moans, coming from both of us. Feeling myself starting to fall over the edge, I try to hold it off; I just don't want it to end just yet. I want us to stay like this for a little longer but as the tingling in my spine starts to move through out my body to my balls and I start to shake under him I know I wont be able to hold off any long. He’s an excellent lover, and some how knows every one of my spot’s. Towards the end he hits my prostate and I fall into oblivion. God it’s just so good that I whimper through it, barely being able to catch my breath. I feel him shutter as soon as my walls tighten around his dick and we just hold each other through our orgasms. Still wanting to be close, not wanting our reality to hit just yet. When Ben's dick starts to soften, he pulls back slightly to slide it the rest of the way out. I groan at the empty feeling it creates and suddenly feel myself enveloped into Ben arms. We wrap ourselves around each other, and I am just trying to shut off my head when I hear him. "I love you Justin. You know that right?" he asks in a whisper. "I know. I love you too." then without another thought we both fall asleep. I start to open my eyes; I’m still all wrapped up in Ben’s arms. I can feel the pain start to flow through my body at an alarming rate. It's been too long since I've felt this much pain, and it's then that I realize that I'm not wrapped around Ben at all I'm wrapped around Brian. Oh my god how is it that I managed to forget? I know it's because of that dream it has been so long since I have even thought of that night. I remember when I woke up, I freaked out and quietly removed myself from his arms and his apartment, which I had been living in since Mark had come into mine. I just couldn't stand to be there and he offered me his spare bedroom. We decided on being roommates and it was working out fine but then that happened and I just couldn't be there any more either. I went to a motel and stayed there until we had finally ran into each other and talked everything through and decided that it was a mistake, then I went back home with him. Although thinking about it now I realize that it wasn't a mistake at all. It really was perfect and I can't think of anything better that he could have done to help me through that night. We made love that night and it will always be one of my most cherished memories. I can feel Brian starting to stir and tighten his grip around me and I feel this sudden white hot pain go across the area that he tightened his grip and I gasp he jumps, and I yelp. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian's POV: "Justin, baby, are you ok? I'm so sorry, god." I was sleeping and dreaming of Justin being taken by some black mist and I was trying to grab him but I just couldn't get a grip on him; I just seemed to slip right through him. Then I heard a gasp and I freaked, I jumped awake and heard him yelp. I hurt him. I must have been holding him too tightly in my sleep. I feel so bad. I try to remove myself from the bed so I don't hurt him anymore but he shakes his head... "No Bri, don't leave. I want to feel you next to me," he says, I slowly move myself next to him as he snuggles into my chest, I hear him sigh. "I hurt." I hear him say, and I freeze. "Do you want me to move?" I don't know what to do I don't want to hurt him anymore. "No, not at all. Could you just press the button for the nurse for me?" oh I should've thought of that. "Sure baby.” I press the button, and about five minutes later a nurse comes in and smiles at us. "Well, well. You two finally woke up. I must say you two are the talk of the floor.” She says as she checks his fluids and monitors. "Is that right?" I ask with raised eyebrows. "Well with two gorgeous men sleeping in the same bed curled around each other, I am sorry to say that it is the best thing to hit this hospital ever. So you are on every nurse’s mind this morning,” she says standing in front of us with a twinkle in her eye. "Can't blame you there I guess. But then again we like being the center of attention so I guess everyone wins,” I reply. Tongue firmly in my cheek. "Yes I suppose you're right. Now Justin how are you doing this morning?" She ask getting down to business. "Well I feel like shit. I was hoping to get something for the pain if you could." He ask. She nods her head and reaches into her pocket pulling out a needle and a little bottle. "I figured you would say that so I came prepared,” she says while fixing up the needle with the medicine. "What is that? I have a ton of allergies,” he remarks a little panicked. "Oh don't worry your partner gave us the list of all your allergies. We're ok." I realize that she wasn't referring to me but to Ben as his partner. Fucker. "That wasn't his partner that was his best friend that gave over the information. I am his partner." I set the record straight. "Oh I'm sorry it said on his file that his partner,” yea, yea. "I know, but it was a mistake. He isn't his partner; he just didn't want to leave him alone so he just said it." Jesus. Man this is too much. I feel this overwhelming jealousy. I didn't really think about it before and I actually thought that Mikey was overreacting when he was freaking out about the fact that Ben had slept with his best friend. But now that his best friend just happens to be Justin... well lets just say that I totally understand his paranoia. "I'm sorry about the misunderstanding," she says a little sheepishly. "What are you talking about?" Justin asks in confusion. "Nothing Baby we'll talk about it later." I can see his eyes starting to droop from the medication and I smooth my hand down his face and see him smile to my touch. "I love to see you smile." I tell him and brush the hair out of his eyes. "I love you." he says as he closes his eyes. "I love you too." "I'm sleepy now,." he murmurs. "I know, go to sleep I'm not going anywhere." I tell him as he slips into sleep. ^^^^^^^^ Two months later ^^^^^^^^^ I open the door to Justin's house and see that every light in the house is off. He has been extremely closed off more and more lately and I just don't know what to do to help him open up to me. He has been pushing me away, I can’t get him to stop and it is getting harder and harder to fight him. I love him, that hasn't changed, but at the same time what can I do? "Justin?" I call out as I make my way up stairs; I know where he is most likely. It's where he has been every day after I get off of work for the past month and a half. I open the door to his studio and see him frantically painting on a huge canvas. I don't know a lot about art; however, you don't need to be an art fanatic to know there is a lot of hatred in this piece. I watch as he paints, waiting till he finishes before I move a little closer. I hear him take a deep breath, while he slumps his shoulders, and look’s at the floor. "Jus, are you ok?" I ask. Futile as it is. "Yea I'm fine.” He lies as usual. "Why do you lie to me?" I ask him and I see him tense up. "I know you too well Justin and I know when you're lying to me." I say as I stand right behind him. I can smell his shampoo mixed in with paint fumes and his natural scent. God I miss this, I miss him. He barely let’s me get this close any more. I had just gotten him back and then Mark happened and it seems that I am losing him all over again. I don't understand it though because we haven't seen or heard anything from Mark since that night so why is he still pulling away from me? "You don't know me as well as you think," he says. "Fine. Then help me out here, because I don't know what to do anymore Justin. I'm running out of ideas.” It's true I am. "I think it's time for you to go," he says bringing up his head to look at the wall. He says this every night, when he wants me to leave but I'm not leaving tonight. "No Justin we need to talk." I practically beg. "No," he says in a deathly calm cold voice, that sends a chill through my body, " no more talking. No more trying. I don't want to do this any more.” He says to me. I yank him around to look at me. "What the fuck do you mean no more? We're partners and I just want to work this out. Damn it Justin stop pushing me away!" I yell. I am losing my patience with him and I don't like it. He's got his walls back up in full force and I don't see any emotion. "I said no more and I meant it. Now I would appreciate it if you'd get your stuff out of my house today, so I don't have to deal with this any longer.” Oh my god! "You can't be serious...” he cuts me off. "Oh I am dead serious I want you out of my house today and don't bother coming back,” he says and turns from me. I can't believe this is happening. "Why are you doing this? I know you love me. So why push me away?" I plead with him. "Because Brian I have enough shit to deal with without adding your shit to the mix." he says. "Fine. You want to keep playing games. Fine, but you are not getting rid of me that easily. We are partners, and I am not going to let you fuck this up for us." I yell at him. I wont either. That is exactly what he is trying to do, I realized this a while ago, but until now, I wasn't sure if I could hold on. Now with him trying to throw it all away I knew that I would do anything to keep him with me. I wont lose him again. "Brian please," He pleads, and in that I heard all of his love and every emotion he has for me. "I won't let you turn away from me and I won't lose you again no matter what it takes. I can't live my life without you Justin. Don't you see that?" "If you don't leave now you may get hurt or even worse, he could kill you." he says. I now know that he has been keeping things from me. "What haven't you been telling me? Has he hurt you again, has he been here?" I ask getting seriously pissed off at the fact that now, I know he's been hiding things from me and wanting to kill Mark before he can do any more damage to my baby. "Look it's just best if you leave and then I know you'll be safe," he begs, turning to look at me and I see all the love in his eyes. "No! I'm not leaving Justin. We're going to deal with this together. Now tell me everything." I say in a no nonsense tone, as I walk over and pull him into my arms. He resist at first but then suddenly has me in a hug so tight I can barely breath, it’s amazing how strong he truly is. "It's ok. We are going to get through this I promise." I kiss the top of his head and take in just how good it is to have him back in my arms and not pulling away. I move my head into his neck and bury my face in his skin breathing in his scent. I don't want to let him go, if I do he might try to run again. "Bri, he's going to come after you if you stay with me. He's been warning me and today he sent a message that if I didn't get rid of you today he was going to kill you,” he explains, with silent tears running down his face. I take my hands and wipe his tears away as they fall, while running soothing circles on his lower back to keep him calm. "How long has he been sending you messages, and how are they getting to you?” He has an amazing security system, I don't see him getting past it. So how? "He somehow got a hold of all my numbers and has been sending me text messages. He has also sent flowers twice, once when I had gotten out of the hospital, and the other just a few days ago. I only accepted the first batch because I thought they were from you. I did; however, on the second batch keep the card and had the flower’s thrown away.” "Well what did the notes say?" I question. "They said that, I had been a bad boy for being with you and that I would have to learn my lesson soon enough.” He shakes his head... God damned son of a bitch I am going to hunt this man down and kill him for all of this. ****************************************************************************** Justin's POV: I shake off the memories that, that threat brings into my mind. That was always his reasoning behind all of his cruelness but I have to finish this before I can fall apart. "The second note was telling me that no one could ever love me as he does. And that soon I would see that." Brian hugs me to him, god how I have missed this. His wonderful smell, his strong arms around me keeping me safe. Only I know all too well that he can't keep me safe and Mark is all too aware of that fact as well. Brian can't fight like he can. Mark could break him in two no problem, and Brian would probably never see it coming. "What else is there Baby?" "He has been sending me text messages and has threaten to kill you if I see you after tonight. He says that he is tired of playing games and letting me have my ‘fun time’. That’s what he calls it. "Fuck me.” He breathes out. "Brian he's obviously seriously sick. I mean, he thinks I belong to him and that we have this relationship. That I have just taken a little time away from him ‘to sort my oats’, as he put it. But he is also saying that as of tomorrow morning my time is up." Brian starts to shake his head and before I can say anything else. "I am going to kill that mother fucker," he says trying to pull himself from me, but I hold on tightly to him. "Brian, you can't do that...” "What the fuck do you mean I can't do that?” He yells at me, with a murderess look in his eyes. "Baby, let's just have tonight and then tomorrow we can deal with all of this." I plead with him, I have to get him to stay because, if he goes out there Mark could get to him, but in here he's safe no one can get in here. "Please Bri?" "Justin...” he tries to say "Make love to me, I have missed you so much baby." I say closing the gap between us and molding my self to him. I feel him weakening as I nuzzle against the side of his neck and shoulder rubbing my hands across his chest. "Ah Jus please...” "Don't you miss me Bri?" I ask seductively. I feel him nod against my head...” ****************************************************************************** Brian's POV: "Oh god yes, baby, I missed you so much." I breathe as I swoop down to catch his mouth with my own. We kiss hard, our tongues going as far as they can go. Tasting and touching every area that has been neglected over the past two months. "Oh god Brian, I need you," he pants out as we break our kiss, I reach into my pocket grabbing the lube and condom and tossing them right next to our feet. We won't be going very far. As he starts taking off my suit jacket and tie, my mouth attacks his creamy skin. I manage to literally rip off his shirt since I just couldn't break my lips away from his body, he tastes so good. I feel his lips burning against my skin as my chest is exposed and it feels so good., "God Jus, so good baby...” I say and bite his neck leaving a bright red mark to reassert myself. God I love the way he tastes. I grab at his waist and yank the buttons open, pulling his pants down as I go along. I lower us to floor as he gets my pants undone and down, when we are finally on the floor with me lying between his legs I slow down for a minute and relish that feeling. "I have missed you so much." I whisper looking into his eyes and rubbing the back of my hand against his cheek. He smiles that sweet loving smile for me. It's not the sunshine smile, it's even better, it's the special one that's just for me. "I missed you too...” I give him a sweet smile and lean down to recapture his sweet luscious lips. This kiss is passionate but it's a sweet soft kiss that I had grown to love so much, it's the one I missed the most threw all this. While I'm kissing him I blindly reach for the lube and when I find it, I reluctantly break the kiss. I rip open the packet and rub some between my fingers, god I can't wait. I slowly insert the first finger and before long, I have Justin pushing back against them, and I don't waste any more time putting the next two fingers in as deep as I can. When I can't hold off any longer, I remove my fingers, quickly sheath my cock, and with out much warning sink as deeply as I can into his tight ass. "Jesus Christ!" Justin and I yell in unison. I immediately stop moving, trying to let Justin adjust and let myself calm down a little. Since I got him back in my life, I haven't been with anybody else. I meant all the things I said and he really is all that I want and need. So being with him again, feeling myself deep inside him, and feeling his warmth all around me, well this may sound a little strange but it feels like home. As I start to move, I look into his eyes... "Oh Bri...” he breaths out, I lean down to place soft kisses on his eyes and down his cheek to his mouth. He takes over the kiss, softly sliding his tongue into my mouth. ****************************************************************************** Justin's POV: I'm not even sure how long we made love tonight but I do know that we didn't ever make it off of my studio floor. It was so amazing to have him back in my arms. I ached everyday to have him there, but I was so scared, still am. I never want anything to ever happen to him and it is becoming very clear that if I don't take care of Mark... then with out a doubt, he will hurt Brian. That's just not something that I am willing to let happen. Brian made me promise that I wouldn't pull away from him anymore and looking into his eyes while he asked me...I just couldn't deny him that. So, I promised him what we both wanted but in return, I'll most likely die for it. I have been working hard the last couple of years to get myself in shape for this. I knew the day would most likely come that he would come after me again. I just wasn't prepared for how much I could lose. I mean losing my life is one thing but I couldn't bare it if anything happened to Brian. I'll do anything to protect him. Even if it means giving up my life... ‘Beep..beep..beep..beep.’ My heart skips a beat as I realize that someone is in the house. I know it's Mark. "Brian! Brian! Wake up!" I say shaking him until he starts to wake up, I jump up out of his arms and grab for my close, I start putting on my pants. "Justin...what are you doing? What's the matter?" he asks rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and getting up. "Someone's in the house. You need to get dressed." I say throwing my shirt on. "How do you know?" he asks as he grabs for his own clothes and struggles to put them on quickly. "You hear that ‘beep...beep'?" he nods his head. "That's the secondary alarm. They must have figured out how to disarm the first one." I say moving to the door and I quickly turn out the lights before I open the door a crack to see if I can see anything. "Shit!" I whisper harshly as I see Mark quietly coming up the stairs and peeking around the corner that heads to my room. "Jus..." I stop him from saying anything else with a wave of my hand and I feel him come up behind me to try to look out the crack. I move him away and quietly close the door. "Who's out there?" he asks. "It's Mark. I knew he would be coming. Damn it!" I say and move over to get my shoes on. He does the same. "What are we going to do?" "We are going to do nothing. I am going to go out there and take care of this." I say standing up. He grabs my arm and I look down at him. "You are not going out there alone Justin. I won't let you." he says standing up. "Brian you don't have a say in this." I tell him and yank my arm free. He grabs me again as I turn from him and yanks me to face him. "The hell I don't Justin!" he almost yells. "Damn it Brian keep your voice down." he puts his hands over his chest and furrows his brow. "You can't defend your self against him Brian." "I know how to fight Justin,” he says exasperated. "Not like him Bri.” I say calmly. "If you go out there it will be easier for him to get to you. I don't want you to get hurt." I say to him "But Justin if you go out there he will hurt you." he says hugging me to him. "Maybe, but Brian if he finds us, if I don't go, I can't be sure that he won't hurt you. Look there is a lock and an alarm on this door. He won't be able to get past them." "I thought I told you if you didn't get rid of him I was going to kill him." ah fuck. I whip around to face Mark. He is standing in the doorway, twiddling his thumbs with blazing eyes. "When have I ever followed your rules Mark?" I ask him sarcastically. Which just manages to piss him off even more. Which is good, anger doesn't help your concentration. He is still bigger and stronger than I am, so I need to throw him off a little. "You need to get the fuck out of here!" Brian yells from behind me. Damn it I don't want the focus on him. "You know I am going to kill you, right?" Mark says and I feel myself shutter inside. "You aren't going to any such thing Mark." I say in return. "I won't let you." "When have you ever been able to stop me Justin,” he asks moving towards us, I start to move me and Brian away from him. "All that matters is now." I tell him. Trying to reassure myself. "So you don't ever think about the times I punished you and then made love to you all night?” He asks me and I shake my head to shake the memories away. "I doubt you could ever forget those nights,” he says getting closer. "Brian get back." I demand, not taking my eyes away from Mark's. "No Jus we do this together,” he says from my side. "Shit Brian would you fucking listen to me for once?" I say through clenched teeth. "No I won't let him hurt you." god please. "You’re a fool Brian." Mark says with a smirk not looking away from me. "Fuck you." Brian says and makes a go for Mark taking a swing and missing. "Brain!” I shout but before I can get to him Mark takes a swing and hits him in the chin. Making a quick turn kicking him in the face, effectively knocking him out. Right as I get to Mark, he turns and grabs me by the throat. Practically cutting off my air. Shit! "Tell me Justin why would you want to spend any time with a pathetic little fuck like that?” He asks. I struggle mercilessly to get away from him. I start topanic as it gets harder to breath. "I am going to kill him Justin..." I stop struggling, look at his cold hard eyes, and know that he will if I don't stop him. "Yeah, you know I will. Huh. But I know you don't care...because if you did you would have let him go when I told you to,” he says loosening his grip a little. I feel my resolve strengthen and make my move. I punch him right in his kidneys and before he can move, head butt him as hard as I can. He recoils, but is still standing. "I see you have learn some more over the past two years," he says, rubbing his head then cracking his neck. I get into my stance and just wait for him to make the first move. "You really want to do this Justin?" I don't bother answering him. So he just shakes his head and gets into his position. "Alright little boy let's see what you've learned." "Stop talking already." I say and he makes a move towards me. He tries for a hit to the face, which I block with my arm; I hit him directly in the chest. He backs down and I grab his hand twisting it around and throw him over my shoulder. He lands on his back and I let go of his arm, he quickly jumps up and turns to face me again. "Well you have learned quite a bit haven't you," he asks rubbing his chest for a second before going back into his stance. "Is that a problem?" I taunt. I want him, to lose his patience lose his capability to think straight so he will make mistakes. "You have no idea what you are getting your self into sweet heart.” He sneers. "Oh, no? I thought I was about to kick your ass." I say in wonder, which just piss’s him off even more. He walks a little to stand right in front of me; I don't move I just watch him and every move he makes. “Okay Justin show me what you got." he says taking his stance. I decide to go ahead and go for a punch to the face that he blocks, then using my other fist to backhand him across the face. His head goes to the side and I don't let up, I grab his arm and move to the side a bit and I bring up my leg and start to kick him in the mid section. After three kicks, he grabs my leg and pushes me back, hard enough to get me on the floor. I fall but I get up quickly and get back into my stance, and wait for him to make a move. "Is that it? You don't have anything better?" he says shaking his head turning around. When he faces me, again he looks straight into my eyes. "Why are you doing this Justin? There's no need. Just come with me now and we can forget all this ever happened," he says sweetly. "What's the matter Mark? Are you scared?" I ask in a sickly sweet voice. He snickers to the ceiling. "Are you really that stupid Justin? I am smarter than you are, bigger than you, stronger than you are! Did I not just knock you on your ass?” he asks incredulously. "You know you seem to have a problem remembering the score here. You may have knocked me on my ass but if you think back to just a couple of minutes ago you'll remember that I to knocked you on your ass as well. Now are we going to continue with these barbs or are we going to fight?" I ask calmly. "If that's what you want, sure." he says coming at me again. He goes for a kick but I catch the bottom of his foot and throw him back, he falls to the floor and as he gets up, he comes straight for me again. He takes a swing at me and as I block it, he comes at me with his other fist I block the other punch, I push one arm away and quickly bring the other arm around his back and kick in his knee. He falls to the floor, and I lean over just slightly and tell him. "I can break every bone in your body,” as I slowly bring up his arm. Letting him feel what I felt, so long ago. He screams out in pain, and after the bone is nicely broken, I push him to the floor. "You remember telling me that?" I ask him. "Of course I do," he says as he slowly gets up off the floor. He gets to his feet, "I also remember how tight you were that night and how good it felt to slip inside you," he says, licking his lips and making my insides turn at the unwanted memory. "You know you loved it," he says and I feel the anger well up inside of me. "No you sick fuck I hated every single minute of it." I yell at him. "Funny I seem to remember you getting off on it every single time," he remarks huskily. "The only reason I got off was because you said you wouldn't stop until I did. And the only way that I was able to get it up was to imagine a fucking model I saw on a billboard." I yell at him again trying to get him to hear the truth. "You keep telling your self that but we both know the truth, damn it!" He yells back at me. "What? That you're a fucking psycho, who is so fucked in the head that you can't even see that I am so fucking repulsed by you that I would rather die than to let you touch me in that way again. Is that the truth that you were talking about?" I ask angrily. "You...you just got a little confused, while you were away he confused you," he says pointing towards Brian. "No I am NOT confused! I have always loved Brian. Since the first moment I saw him I loved him.” He looks shocked. "I never loved you, never." I say and he comes at me full force and knocks me down. He puts his hands around my throat and starts squeezing as hard as he can. I scratch at his face and his eye I have to get out of this, if I don't he will kill Brian after he is done with me. Suddenly I feel Mark being yanked off of me. Brian. I cough as soon as I can breathe again and get up as quickly as I can. Brian is coming to me and I see Mark in the corner... "Justin, are you okay?" he asks taking me in his arms. He pulls back, taking my face in his hands softly to look at my neck, and to check for any other bruises. "Not too bad baby. Does it hurt anywhere else," he asks and I shake my head I pull him in my arms squeezing him to me. "I'm so glad that you are ok." I say to him. “Ahhhh!" I hear and without thinking I swing Brian around and hit Mark in a certain area on the sinus causing him to completely pass out. He just fell right to the floor. I know what I have just done. I bite my lip and get to my knees. I move next to him and see if I hit him hard enough. I feel his pulse it's weak but it's there. "Justin?" Brian says coming up behind me. I turn to him as he gets down on the floor with me, and I just let him take me into his arms. I may not have killed him now but I can almost guarantee that in a few days he will die from a heart attack. I know I hit him hard enough for that. I know I shouldn't be thankful for that fact but I am. At least now, I know he will never hurt Brian or me again. I let myself completely relax into him. I let him hold me and protect me now, and I have never felt anything so good.