waiting for you (don’t break my heart)

Ignoring the knock, Justin closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door opens anyways and Molly steps inside, “Justin?” Sighing, he forces his eyes to open, “Yeah?” Brian and Carl had left a few minutes earlier, and Justin was now left to his thoughts. Those thoughts weren’t very pretty. “Do you think they’re going to come back?” She asks, sitting down on the bed beside him. He shrugs, sitting up. He had put on a pair of sweatpants and a tee before they had left. Unconsciously, he begins to tug at the bottom hem of his shirt, curling it between his fingers. “It’s kind of romantic,” she says quietly, more to herself than to her brother. “In a fucked up sort of way,” he retorts. She looks up at him, “Are you going to okay?” He looks away. Not wanting to tell his younger sister that he was terrified, he just shrugs instead. “You’re mad,” she confirms. “No shit.” “I brought you some lunch,” she offers, standing up to retrieve the plate of food. “I’m not hungry.” “Okay.” Putting the plate in front of him, she picks at his fries. “I got you a chicken sandwich.” “Thanks,” he mumbles, still looking towards the window. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, tilting her head to one side as she pops another fry in her mouth. Glancing at her, he can’t help but smile. “No thanks.” “Come on, I can listen. I’m a good listener.” Sighing, he leans back against the pillows. “I’m not in the talking mood.” She shrugs, “Mom says that it’s good to talk when you’re upset.” She stops suddenly, “Um, I mean… she said…” Biting her lower lip, she looks away. Justin feels like his heart has just been ripped out of him, again. “Mom was always very smart,” he struggles to say, the lump in his throat getting larger as the tears start to well up in his eyes. “Dad too.” He nods, “Dad too.” “I miss them,” she whispers. “Me too.” He carelessly wipes away a tear. “I wish… I wish I could have talked to Dad one more time, you know?” Looking up at the ceiling, he takes a deep breath before continuing, “Maybe we could have made some sort of peace… he’s gone and… he died hating me.” “Daddy didn’t hate you,” she replies quickly. “He was just… I dunno…he didn’t get you.” “So he dismissed me. I was no longer his son because he didn’t get me,” he argues, the bitterness hanging off his words. Sighing, she picks up another fry, “I think you guys would’ve made peace.” “Really?” Justin asks, suddenly hopefully, but then realizing that was pointless, sinks back down onto the bed, “Doesn’t matter I guess though.” She bites his lower lip, “I guess not.” He smiles suddenly, “Remember when Mom brought home that ugly lamp and Dad wanted her to return it?” Molly brightens, “Yeah! And Mom kept it on the night table just to piss him off.” They both chuckle softly. “Mom wouldn’t have let the feud last,” Molly ponders aloud. “Mom was always a good peacemaker.” Justin nods quietly. Sighing, he looks down at the plate and picks up a fry. “Brian is going to be okay,” Molly says suddenly. “You don’t know that,” Justin answers, putting the fry back down. “You’re right,” she sighs, “It just seemed like the right thing to say.” He forces a smile, “Thanks.” “Are you going to marry him?” She asks, eating another one of his fries. “Molly,” he rolls his eyes. “One stress at a time, please.” She smiles softly, “I bet he’d marry you if you asked.” “You mean if he comes back,” Justin mutters. Swallowing hard, he comments quietly, “He’s not going to come back.” “He might,” Molly comments. He shakes his head. “They’re going to kill him,” he wipes away another tear, “I’ll never see him again…” “Just wait, Justin. He told us to wait.” “Wait for what?” Justin asks, looking at her, his voice wavering, “Wait for him to never come back? Or worse? Wait to find out how they killed him? That they shot him in the head? Wait to find out that he’s dead and it’s my fault?” Molly bites her lower lip, her own tears beginning to fall, “Justin, please don’t say that.” Justin shakes his head, “He’s not coming back!” Falling onto his side, he buries his head in his pillow, “Please just leave me alone…” She shakes her head, “Uh-uh. We’re Team Taylor, remember?” He forces a bitter laugh, shaking his head again. “Jus, don’t do this,” She pleads softly. He lies there, not moving. Wanting nothing more than to just disappear into the pillow and never come back, he knows he could never leave his sister to fight this battle alone. He sits up, wiping his face with his arm and inhales sharply before exhaling. “I’m sorry, Molly…” She forces a smile, “We can do this, right?” He nods, unable to meet her gaze, “Team Taylor,” he whispers back. Closing his eyes, he can almost hear his own heart shattering.